The Night He Saved My Life
by GeekBastard23
Summary: When Tony comes over to Gibbs' house in order to make him feel better on the 20th anniversary of Shannon and Kelly's death, he gets more in return than he would have ever expected. Tony/Gibbs Slash!
1. I wanted to

_A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters. I'm just playing with them._

_So, this is going to be another Tony/Gibbs Slash Story. If you don't like that stuff, don't read ;)_

_This is loosely set in the year of 2011, though I guess there are no real spoilers..._

_Okay, enough with the words... I hope you enjoy this first chapter and review! :)_

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><p><strong>The Night He Saved My Life<strong>

**Chapter One: I wanted to...**

Gibbs sighed and paused his actions for a moment. A brief glance at his watch and he couldn't help but wonder when exactly the evening had turned into night without him noticing. It was that time of the year again, when he always, almost desperately, tried to catch a case, tried to be as busy as possible. It had worked fairly well those last couple of years but this time it was the weekend and they weren't even on call. Granted, he had tried to get them there but then he had realized that the team didn't deserve yet another weekend with no time for themselves.

He walked over to the old workbench and poured himself another glass of bourbon. Originally, he had planned to drink himself into a stupor tonight, trying to forget, trying to just keep on living like nothing had ever happened. But somehow he hadn't been able to. Sure, he was slightly drunk by now but his mind was still working overtime and his thoughts were seemingly chewing at his bones and working through the flesh that remained. Once again he sighed before he picked up the sanding paper again, hoping to find at least a little bit of peace tonight.

-x-

It wasn't until he had already watched _Bullitt_ and was halfway through _Gran Torino_ that he finally remembered. As soon as Tony had gotten up that morning, he knew that he had missed something but even though he had racked his brains, he hadn't been able to put the finger on it. It was only when Clint Eastwood had started talking about his late wife that the scales fell from his eyes.

Of course. How could he have been so stupid to forget? Ever since Tony had found out about it, he had always tried to keep his boss company on that specific day. He had never mentioned it once, had never told Gibbs that he actually didn't really enjoy the can of beans that he had offered him last year. And even though, Gibbs had been moody, Tony could still tell that he had wanted him there, talking only for the sake of talking, only for the sake of distracting him.

Subtly, he shook his head now as he looked at the half empty bottle of Vodka in front of him. Why exactly had he decided to drink by himself tonight? He scrunched up his nose for a moment, actually trying to remember but couldn't come up with anything.

_Stupido, DiNozzo._

He reached for his phone, pondering to simply call him but thought better of it as Gibbs would sure not pick up tonight. He dialed the number of his favorite cab company instead, hoping that they'd be here soon enough.

-x-

The bourbon had done its trick after all by now as the things before his eyes had becme slightly blurry. He sank down on the floor, leaning against the wooden frame of his boat-to-be, running his fingers over his face, only now realizing that it was wet from tears. It was when he was suddenly able to hear faint footsteps, slightly stumbling down the stairs and Gibbs hurried to wipe away the tears, removing the evidence that they had been there in the first place. He didn't need to look up to know that it was Tony who was coming down the stairs and finally came to sit down next to him. He had kept him company on this goddamn day for the last couple of years, though Gibbs had never asked him to, had never once mentioned it, had never once acknowledged that his Senior Field Agent cared a lot about him.

"I hope you weren't driving, DiNozzo," he finally said huskily, smelling his vodka flavored breath.

"Nope, cab."

"Don't you have to do anything else on a Saturday night?"

Gibbs turned to look at Tony whose expression wasn't offering anything for interpretation. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his eyes a bit glazed over, surely from drinking too much earlier.

"Didn't feel like it. Watched a movie and stuff and then I thought… well, you know…," Tony trailed off, stumbling over his own words.

Gibbs just nodded and got up to pour himself and Tony another glass of bourbon. Tony took it gratefully and downed it in one swig.

-x-

The alcohol burned down his throat and Tony found it oddly soothing. He sized up his boss for a moment. He seemed to be in much worse shape than the years previously. His hands were slightly shaking, causing the bourbon to slosh ever so a little in the glass, his cheeks were a tad red, so were his eyes and Tony was almost sure that Gibbs of all people had cried sometime tonight.

If only he had remembered earlier, maybe he would have been able to persuade him to get dinner at least or whatever. He sighed and awkwardly got up to pour himself another glass but he felt Gibb's eyes on him now and stopped dead in his tracks just as he was about to reach for the almost empty bottle.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Don't you think _you_'ve had enough?" Tony retorted slyly.

"Touché," Gibbs replied, pouring both of them another glass.

They clinked glasses and drank silently, each of them not quite looking the other one in the eye. Finally, Gibbs sat down again and Tony mirrored his action, their shoulders touching. They remained quiet for a while until the younger man couldn't take it anymore…

"Sorry, I didn't come over sooner. I… I..."

"You don't have to come here every year, DiNozzo, you know that, right?"

Tony only nodded, looking down into his glass, losing himself in the swirling movement for a moment.

"I know," he finally all but whispered, "but I want to."

"I appreciate it," Gibbs replied and looked at him at last.

Tony found himself staring into those piercing blue eyes and realized that they were shimmering ever so slightly. But as soon as he had noticed that Gibbs was apparently on the verge of crying, the older man had averted his gaze and was staring into his glass again as if nothing had happened.

Tony felt his heart grow heavier as he watched his boss looking nothing but utterly lost and he pondered for a moment how in the world he was supposed to make him feel better this time. He had seen Gibbs in bad shape but had rarely witnessed him being so seemingly helpless. Tony sighed and then, without really thinking what he was doing, pulled one arm around Gibbs shoulders. He felt Gibbs tense up for the fraction of a second before he relaxed again and actually leaned into Tony's touch a bit.

"Has it really been twenty years already?"

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think... reviews would be pure awesomeness! ;)_


	2. Stupidity

_A/N: Wow :)  
>Thanks guys, for all the reviews, alerts and favorites! They made me update that much faster. Really awesome! :) Nothing much to say about that next chapter, I believe, so here we go! ;)<em>

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><p><span>Chapter Two: Stupidity<span>

"_Has it really been twenty years already?"_

Tony remained silent, picturing Gibbs with a twenty-eight year old daughter and failing miserably. He had often wondered how having her and Shannon still in his life would have an effect on Gibbs. Would he still be the grumpy boss? Or would he actually show that he cared? Or would he be a totally different man? But then again, without their death, Tony would have probably never met his boss, would have probably never started working for NCIS in the first place. He sighed and took a sip from the bourbon again, willing his thoughts away from where they were heading before.

It was when he realized that his arm was still slung around Gibbs' shoulders and he felt his boss' head slightly bowing as if he was about to lay it upon Tony's shoulder. But then he gave a jerk and he stared at nothing in particular again, leaving Tony strangely disappointed.

-x-

Twenty goddamn years and why was he still feeling like this? Wasn't it supposed to get easier with time? But still that day made him feel like it had only been yesterday when he had gotten the call, when he saw his world crumble before his eyes. On some days, it actually was easy, whenever he was busy, whenever there was someone there with him.

Just like DiNozzo was now. Gibbs was sure that he had thought nothing about pulling his arm around him but as soon as he had felt his touch, that strangely empty feeling inside him had disappeared ever so slightly.

His thoughts wondered to Shannon and Kelly again and he fleetly wondered if they would approve of him drinking himself into a stupor whenever he gave them more than a few moments thought at a time. Probably not but he couldn't help it. Bourbon was it that made him forget sometimes, bourbon was it that made his life more bearable.

He heard Tony sigh next to him again and turned to look at him, wondering what was on his mind. His cheeks were still flushed and he was staring directly at him at the moment.

"Something on my nose, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, only to have something to say, anything, really.

"Wh-What? No," Tony all but chocked out.

He blushed again but didn't avert his gaze this time, instead staring (or was he actually glaring?) so intently at him that it made Gibbs' gut start churning. The older man felt like he was being x-rayed, like the kid could see right through him. Or maybe, it simply didn't just feel like it and he actually was.

-x-

Tony took another sip from his bourbon without once taking his eyes off of his boss. The man was staring angrily at him, even though Tony had no idea what he had done wrong this time.

"_Maybe_," his drunken mind got through his hazy thoughts, "_it is because you have your freaking arm slung around his shoulders_."

Quickly, he tried to pull his arm back only to feel his boss lean into his touch once again, so Tony just let his arm rest there once again.

But this was just so… so wrong. One just didn't sit with his boss, his mentor, his friend like that. Even if he was quiet obviously hurting, though he would never admit it, of course, because he was Gibbs after all. But still, there they were, looking at each other, apparently lost for words.

"We're so going to regret this in the morning," Tony finally offered as they were clinking their glasses once again.

"What, DiNozzo?"

"Drinking, Boss. Maybe you're used to it but my head's going to explode tomorrow morning for sure."

"Ya think?"

Tony snorted and downed the rest of his drink in one bold swig, regretting it immediately as he started coughing hard only moments afterwards, leaving Gibbs to pat his back this time.

-x-

They remained silent once again as Tony was finally done coughing. Gibbs had pulled his hand away from Tony's back but their shoulders were still touching, causing the older man to think that maybe and only maybe he wasn't alone after all. Because, well, the kid always seemed to know whenever he needed someone to talk to and granted, he had been almost too late this year but he had still remembered and yes, he had shown up far too drunk for his own good but he was here now.

Gibbs subtly shook his head, wondering what he would have done without Tony being there on this day year after year after year. Would his thoughts have eaten him up by now? Would he have done something stupid without him? Probably.

But whatever, he had been here all these years and so, Gibbs was still there, still gloomy but somehow suddenly also a tad hopeful…

"Hey Boss?"

Tony's voice brought him back into his basement and he turned to look at him again. His green eyes were wide open, the insecurity suddenly written all over his face.

"Yeah?" Gibbs probed, wondering what had crossed Tony's mind to make him feel jumpy all of a sudden.

"Do you ever, you know, visit them? I mean… their graves?"

Gibbs almost imperceptibly nodded his head, slightly taken aback by the question as DiNozzo had never once asked anything about them. Actually, they had never spoken of them ever before. Well, actually, he had broken that unwritten rule just minutes before as he had asked about those long last twenty years. That damn bourbon.

"Yeah," he finally said, running his fingers through his hair, "I go there every Sunday."

-x-

Tony nodded and averted his gaze once again, staring at his feet instead.

"Does it help?"

He felt Gibbs' glance upon him but refused to look at him. Then he felt his boss shrug beside him.

"Why do you ask?"

"Dunno," Tony started, not liking where his thoughts were going at the moment. "I just… wanted to know, you know. I…"

Tony broke off not knowing what had gotten into him all of a sudden. This was not the way he was supposed to talk to Gibbs. They just didn't do it like that.

"Have you ever been to your mother's?"

Seriously, how did he do that? Sometimes Tony thought that Gibbs was actually able to read his mind. How in the world had he known? He sighed again.

"No," he finally answered. "Couldn't."

Silence. Then, "Tony."

Gibbs's voice was too soft all of a sudden to be really Gibbs' and that fact alone caused Tony to turn to look at him again, only to realize that not only his voice had that soft edge to it but also his face now. Wow. They must be really drunk after all. In fact, Tony had never seen his boss like that. Not with his eyes shining full of concern, his expression as open as never before. Really, in the ten years that Tony had known the guy, he had never once connected to him like that.

He realized just now that he had leaned into Gibbs ever so slightly as if he could look at him more closely that way. And even as his boss started to speak again, Tony didn't back away but kept on breathing in his scent.

"I could go with you, if you ever decided to go there," he finally suggested so quietly that Tony leaned in just a little more.

He replied nothing, too confused and somehow touched by the offer so that he was lost for words for once. Actually, it was the greatest, the most thoughtful of suggestions that had ever been offered to him and he felt his cheeks burning up as he realized that tears were already threatening to escape his eyes. What was wrong with him tonight? Really, what _had _gotten into him besides all the alcohol?

"Gibbs, I… thanks," he finally whispered not trusting his voice anymore.

His boss only nodded and his nose unintentionally brushed against Tony's cheek for a fraction of a second, causing the younger man's stomach to suddenly turn all funny inside. He breathed in the distinctive mixture of bourbon and sawdust and closed his eyes, savoring in the scent. But when he opened them again, Gibbs' blue ones were too close all of a sudden, his nose was all but touching his own. Tony leaned into him just a tiny bit more and then, and he really didn't know what was up with him tonight, he pressed his lips against the other man's.

As soon as their lips touched, Tony's senses seem to finally kick in again and he pulled back almost immediately. He looked at Gibbs, whose eyes were wide open, boring into his.

"God," Tony stuttered, jumping up. "God, I don't know what's wrong with me… I… Sorry."

With that, Tony almost ran up the stairs, not once looking back at his boss, not giving him a change to react. He just wanted to get away from the best relationship he ever had. Emphasis on the past tense now…

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><p><em>AN: Hope you liked it and review on your way out! ;-)_


	3. No Big Deal

_A/N: Thanks once again for your amazing reviews. I tried to reply to all of you individually, if I missed someone... I'm sorry ;) Here comes the next chapter and I hope you still like it and keep reviewing! :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters. Don't own Peter Parker and Mary Jane, either.  
><em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Three: No Big Deal<span>**

Tony slowly stumbled back to his apartment. It was a rather long walk but he didn't really care. It was raining cats and dogs and still Tony didn't care that his suit was soaked by now, didn't care that he was freezing like hell, didn't care that he had trouble even walking. Granted, he had considered taking a cab back home but he had thought he needed the fresh air, had thought it would do him some good.

He couldn't have been more wrong, though. With every step he made, Gibbs' appalled expression kept on showing up in front of him. Another step and he could feel his lips on his. Yet another step and those wide opened, surprised icy blue eyes were staring back at him. How in the world was he supposed to explain it to Gibbs when he couldn't even figure out for himself what had driven him to kiss his boss? It didn't make sense to him. He had never ever once thought about kissing another man, let alone Gibbs. That was just seriously wrong, wasn't it?

He rounded the last corner to his apartment, still not knowing what to do. Maybe in the morning, things would look better or at least, he would be able to think straight again. But even in his drunken stupor, he realized that if he wouldn't have a plausible reason for that mess on Monday, he would have to resign.

Really, what was wrong with him? Why in the world would he do anything like that? Why?

-x-

Gibbs was still sitting on the floor of his basement, leaning against the frame of the boat and stared at the stairs where DiNozzo had disappeared quite some time ago. What exactly had just happened? He simply couldn't wrap his head around it. Yeah, sure, they had had quite a lot to drunk, too much probably and granted, they had had a serious talk and they were sitting far too close to each other but Gibbs was getting in his personal space all the time but what the hell had DiNozzo been thinking? Or even more importantly, had he actually given this a thought at all?

Gibbs subtly shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to erase that kiss from his memory and failing miserably. He looked at the empty glasses that still stood in front of him and made a decision. It must have been the bourbon or the vodka or what the hell DiNozzo had been drinking before he even came here that made him act the way he had. Gibbs would take him aside at work on Monday and tell him to simply forget about it. He didn't want this to interfere with anything, be it work-related or on a more personal level.

As Gibbs made his way up to his bedroom, he was willing to forget about it all together, to pretend that it had never happened in the first place. But as he lay down in bed a little time later, he couldn't help but realize that for the first time in those long last twenty years, he had given someone that wasn't Shannon or Kelly a few hours thought on that specific day and he couldn't quite figure out whether that was a good or a bad thing really.

-x-

As Gibbs walked down the stairs from MTAC on Monday morning, he couldn't help but notice DiNozzo's empty desk. A quick glance at his watch was telling him that he was late, very late in fact.

"Where the hell is DiNozzo?"

"Uh, he called in sick, Boss," McGee answered, looking up from his computer.

Gibbs sighed. Leave it to DiNozzo to avoid any confrontation.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked then, not quite able to hold back the anger in his voice.

"Didn't say. But he did sound ill, Boss."

Gibbs just nodded and sat down at his desk but not without deciding to drive by DiNozzo's apartment after work. Avoiding confrontation was one thing but skipping work was a different thing altogether and Gibbs wouldn't let him do it again.

-x-

Tony slumped down on the couch and tucked himself in again. God, he hated being sick. He took a sip from the tea, hoping that his sore throat would finally disappear. He pressed the play button on his remote to start yet another movie today and turned down the volume as if it would also mute his headache. He subtly shook his head, going home in the pouring rain hadn't been the smartest idea he had ever had. Actually, he should have just stayed home that night and none of that would have ever happened…

He must have drifted off to sleep at some point because he all but fell off the couch as a loud knock on his door disrupted the otherwise silent apartment. Sighing, Tony got to his feet and groggily stumbled across the room to open the door. A rather angry looking Gibbs came into sight and Tony immediately backed away from him.

"You really do look sick."

It was more of a statement than a question and Tony realized that his boss sounded a tad surprised.

"I am," he finally answered and stepped aside, letting him in.

Tony walked to the couch and threw the blanket over him again. Gibbs stood there uncomfortably for a moment before he sat down next to him, carefully avoiding touching him.

"You thought I was faking it?"

"Yeah," Gibbs admitted.

They were silent for a few moments with Tony shifting on the couch and Gibbs staring at his hands, each of them waiting for the other one to speak first. Finally, after realizing that Gibbs wasn't one of many words anyway, Tony turned to look at his boss and started.

"Look, Gibbs, I'm sorry. I didn't… I don't know what happened there. I… I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable or anything. If you want me to resign or have me transferred to another team, I'd totally get it. I know I screwed up."

-x-

Gibbs remained silent, staring into his Senior Field Agent's face. His expression was actually just full of sorrow, the lines on his forehead deepened. Granted, it could be because was suffering from the flu after all but somehow Gibbs couldn't shrug off the feeling that there was something else that bothered him.

"I don't want you to resign, you're a damn good agent and I don't want you off my team. We're too good to screw this up and you know that."

He saw Tony nod sharply once before he looked away, staring at his blank television screen now.

"So we're good?" He then asked so quietly that Gibbs had to lean towards him a bit to understand him.

"Guess so. I'm ready to forget about it. We had too much to drink. No big deal."

"No big deal, he says," DiNozzo replied, snorting before he turned around again.

"Well, was it?" Gibbs asked, unable to read Tony's expression.

Silence.

"Or is there anything you'd like to tell me, DiNozzo?" Gibbs demanded gruffly.

-x-

"You're telling me that me kissing you is no big deal? Seriously? That's like Peter Parker telling Mary Jane that he's not in love with her."

Gibbs furrowed a brow but remained silent, causing Tony to shift uncomfortably again.

"Is it for you? A big deal?"

"Dunno," Tony started, dragging out the word. "I guess I did have a lot to drunk and you… I don't know, you were just there, you know, comforting me while I should have done so… because it was your day after all… and… great, I'm stuttering like McGeek now… I just don't know what has gotten into me, I still don't know. You were just there and…"

Gibbs stared at him for a moment and Tony's mind started to race as he saw those goddamn lips curl up into one of those half smiles that Tony rarely got to see these days. He subtly shook his head and waited for Gibbs to say something, anything.

"Let's leave it at that. You were drunk and didn't think?"

Tony nodded and he saw Gibbs get up from the couch and wanted to follow suit but Gibbs motioned him to remain seated.

"Not leaving just yet. Going to make you some tea and get you some ibuprofen. That sound good?"

Once again nodding, Tony slumped back onto the couch. He couldn't have screwed up that bad then, if Gibbs was still caring about him enough to make him feel better, right?

-x-

Gibbs had made himself comfortable on the far end of Tony's couch and watched him sleep, snoring slightly. The drugs had made Tony sleepy again and he had fallen asleep soon after finishing his tea. Gibbs had debated to just let himself out but something had stopped him, though he couldn't quite put the finger on what it was exactly. So he had watched some silly action movie, stealing glances at Tony from time to time to make sure that he was comfortable. But to be honest, Gibbs' back had started to hurt slightly half an hour ago and it was getting fairly late, so Gibbs tried to get up soundlessly.

But just as he was about to step away from the couch, Tony opened his eyes, focusing on him.

"Where you're going?" he asked, his voice slightly slurring.

"Home. It's late. You should go to bed, DiNozzo."

Distractedly, Tony looked around for a moment before he got up himself and reached out his hand. Furrowing a brow, Gibbs took it and was slightly taken aback as Tony not only shook his hand but engaged him into a half hug.

Gibbs was even more surprised as the younger man didn't let go of him immediately and he realized that he was able to feel Tony's breath on his neck and cheek and then heard him whisper into his ear.

"You smell so good."

Then, as if he had just realized what he had said, Tony quickly pulled away from him, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Sorry. Drugs," was all he said then, before he disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Gibbs standing in the middle of his living room, baffled.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be great! ;)_


	4. Is That Alright With You?

_A/N: Thanks again for your great reviews, they absolutely made my day! :) Hope you keep on reading!_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Four: Is That Alright With You?<span>**

_The scent of sawdust. Was he in Gibbs' basement? The distinctive smell of bourbon was blending in. He had to be there. And now – old spice. Yeah, the bossman himself had to be there, too, then._

_Tony tried to open his eyes as he realized that oddly enough he was lying flat on his back. But somehow his eyes weren't opening and only then he realized that he actually couldn't move at all. It was as if something was pinning him down to the ground. He felt panic rise inside of him and took a deep breath to calm himself. Again, he was able to take in the scent of sawdust, bourbon and old spice._

"_Gibbs?" he finally cried out._

"_Right here," Gibbs' voice came from somewhere close, directly above him. "Right where you want me, Tony."_

_Tony gasped as he was finally able to see and made out Gibbs' face just inches away from his and now the realization dawned on him why he hadn't been able to move before. Gibbs was sitting on top of him, straddling his thighs, smiling brightly._

"_Wh-What are you doing?" Tony choked out, unable to look away from Gibbs' face._

"_Why? Don't you like it, Tony?"_

"_I… I do."_

Tony jerked awake, panting slightly. Distractedly, he looked around for a moment before he realized that he wasn't in Gibbs' basement but in his bedroom. He sighed and lay back again only now realizing that he was hard as a rock. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his thoughts in control but failed miserably. He subtly shook his head as if to convince himself that he hadn't just dreamed of having sex with Gibbs.  
>He really had a problem now, hadn't he? Kissing him while being drunk was one thing but this dream now was just… woah…<p>

-x-

Tony was surprised to be the first one to arrive at the bullpen. After waking up from that dream and taking a cold shower, he had decided to just go to work, as he surely wouldn't have been able to sleep anymore anyhow. Still, there were rarely days when he beat Ziva to the office, even rarer occasions beating McGee but that Gibbs wasn't here before him must surely be a first. He quickly glanced at his watch but he wasn't that early after all. He started his computer and sneezed.

"Should you not still be at home, nursing your flu?"

"Well, you know me, Ziva, I'm going crazy sitting around alone at home."

"So you decided to drive us crazy instead, yes?"

"Well," he grinned at her before he sneezed again. "Sorry. What I meant to say was, 'if you put it that way'."

Ziva just gave him a playfully annoyed smile before she settled down at her own desk.

Tony was just about to browse through his emails as the third or fourth fit of coughing hit him that day and he felt a hand suddenly patting his back. He looked up and was surprised that he saw Gibbs standing there next to him, a worried (but no, that couldn't be true, Gibbs wouldn't let it show, right?) expression on his face. Tony's cheeks immediately started to blush as he remembered that damn dream from before but hoped that Gibbs wouldn't notice. But as his boss started to speak, his voice was so angry that Tony was almost sure that he had imagined the worrying after all.

"What the hell are you doing here, DiNozzo?"

"Working, Boss."

"No, you'll just end up passing your flu on to us."

"I'm not contagi –" Another sneeze interrupted his answer, causing Gibbs to shake his head and step away from him.

"Clearly," he said then, sitting down at his own desk without even looking at him.

-x-

Gibbs had tried to concentrate on work, hard. But every minute or so, DiNozzo would sneeze, would blow his nose or cough, making it almost impossible to get anything done. But it wasn't only that, that made him restless. Tony's words from last night kept on playing on and on in his mind like a stupid tune stuck in his head. _You smell so good._ And then, in the morning, had DiNozzo actually blushed as Gibbs had touched him? Maybe he was just imaging things but the way Tony was stealing glances into his direction, always immediately looking away from him when Gibbs would catch him, made his gut churn again as if he was missing something important…

Another sneeze and Gibbs had enough.

"DiNozzo, I order you to go home. You're no help here."

"But Boss," he replied but wasn't even able to finish his sentence because he had to sneeze once again.

"Fine, I'll get going then."

"I'll walk you down, need coffee anyway," Gibbs said and stood, waiting until the Senior Field Agent had gathered his things and silently they walked to the elevators.

Once inside, Gibbs couldn't help but notice that DiNozzo was standing as far away from him as the elevator allowed, carefully trying to avoid any eye contact. Gibbs let out an exasperated sigh and then pushed the emergency button, causing the car to stop and the lights flicker.

"You alright?"

"According to you, I'm not."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs all but growled and stepped a little closer to him.

"What do you want to hear? It's just the flu. I'll survive, had worse."

"You sure, there's nothing else that's bothering you?"

Tony remained silent for a moment, ran his fingers through his hair before he looked back at him and there was a strange sincerity in his expression that reminded Gibbs of a kid stating _'Because I said so'._

"I'm fine, Boss. Or is there something that's bothering _you_?"

Gibbs looked at him for a moment longer, not knowing whether he should be angry with the guy or whether he should be honest for once after all. But the way DiNozzo was slumped against the elevator walls, his head resting against them, made him want to really get what was up with him these days. So, Gibbs took another step forward, causing the other man to flinch slightly.

"What you said yesterday…," Gibbs started and held up a hand as he saw Tony opening his mouth. "I get that you were sick and the cold meds didn't help, I guess. But what is up with you? Was this about the other night in the basement? I don't get it. I thought we'd just let it rest."

"I know," Tony mumbled, looking away from him, causing Gibbs to approach him even more. "I don't know what's up with me, okay? I'm having these weird drea… just forget I ever said anything, okay? I'll never…"

"Tony," Gibbs said now, the warning undertone even audible to himself.

"I don't know what to say, Gibbs," his agent all but cried out now before he looked at him again.

-x-

"I don't know what's up," Tony continued, praying that Gibbs would just turn around and flick that damn button again so that he would be able to get away from him and those blue eyes that just kept on boring into his, as if they could look right through him, as if they could read every single thought racing through Tony's head.

He pushed himself off of the wall and wanted to walk over to press the emergency button himself but Gibbs wouldn't let him. They were standing there now, face to face, mere inches apart, equally glaring at each other and Tony was able to smell that darned sawdust/old spice scent again, causing his thoughts to go back to the dream from the night before. He took a deep breath, which, granted, wasn't probably the best idea to clear his head. Unable to look his boss into the eyes without telling the truth, Tony shook his head again. He took another deep breath before making up his mind and throwing all cautions to the wind because since when was Gibbs one to let something go anyway.

_Might as well just get it over with. _

"Listen Gibbs, there's just… uh… I really don't know what's gotten into me all of a sudden and believe me, I really haven't planned it or anything. I don't even know it myself. There's just something there between you and me and I… And I know it's only me because clearly you're not… Whatever. Just let it rest, okay? I'll deal with it and be back to normal soon enough. I'll just go home now, take some meds and hopefully I'm going to forget all of this ever happened."

"Tony," Gibbs said again, this time, though, there was no hint of a warning there.

"Don't say anything. It's okay, really. I'll get over it, whatever this is, I promise."

Tony attempted to step away from his boss again and this time he let him. Tony pressed the button and the elevator continued his journey down to the garage. As the doors opened, Tony quickly stepped out. He turned around just in time to get a glimpse at a clearly troubled looking Gibbs before the doors closed again.

Tony was already on his way to his car, desperately trying to think of something that wasn't related to the stinging in his eyes, as he heard the elevator ding behind him. Tony turned around and felt his heart stutter for a moment as he was able to see Gibbs standing there, leaning against the opened doors.

"I'll drive by your apartment after work. That alright with you, Tony?"

Tony looked up again, unable to say anything that would not betray him, so he only nodded.

"Okay then," was all that Gibbs said before he stepped back again and then he was gone for good.

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><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Let me know what you think! :)_


	5. The Thing

_A/N: Wow, thanks again for your absolutely awesome reviews :) Keep them coming, they really make me want to write more and faster ;) Thanks! :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Five: The Thing<span>**

Lying on his couch, blanket draped around his shoulders, Tony couldn't help but glance at his watch for what seemed to be the tenth time in the last five minutes. He knew he should probably try to get some sleep but ever since he had come home, his mind had been working overtime, his thoughts still lingering on that dream from the night before, still lingering on Gibbs leaning against those elevator doors, giving him a half-smile.

Tony subtly shook his head, wondering when exactly he had let his thoughts wander. He had tried hard not to think about anything when he had gotten home but even _Ghostbusters_ with the giant Marshmallow Manhadn't held his attention for more than a few moments. Granted, he still didn't know why exactly Gibbs had considered it necessary to stop by at his place after work but it had to mean something, right? Because, seriously, hadn't Tony basically confessed that he kind of had the hots for him? Or hadn't he been clear enough and Gibbs just wanted to check up on him and nothing else?

Suddenly, doubts began to resurface again because, really, what was he thinking after all? How had he come from being one hundred percent straight the day before to having hot dreams about Gibbs, to admitting that there might be more than a simple work relationship? Hell, he wasn't even sure how he was supposed to explain it to Gibbs or even to himself. It didn't make any sense at all but still, there he was lying now and he simply couldn't deny it. The only question was how would Gibbs handle it? Tony felt sure that Gibbs would never even consider it but at least he cared enough for him to not let him deal with it alone, right?

Tony sighed again, forcefully drawing his attention back to Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd on his TV.

-x-

Slightly uncomfortable, Gibbs was standing right outside Tony's apartment door, pondering what exactly he was doing there. Shouldn't he rather gone home and work on his boat for a little while? He knew, he really shouldn't be here in any case. DiNozzo had made it clear that he wanted to deal with this – whatever it was exactly – alone but still he hadn't declined Gibbs' offer to swing by his apartment, either, right?

With another deep breath, Gibbs finally lifted his hand and knocked on the door. Only moments later, he heard footsteps coming from inside and then, Tony opened the door, wearing sweats, his face slightly flushed. Without a word, he stepped aside, letting him in. For a moment, Gibbs stood there indecisively before he simply sat down on DiNozzo's couch, looking at the younger man.

"You feeling better?"

Tony simply shrugged, not quite looking at him before he also sat down on the couch, though Gibbs couldn't help but notice that he sat as far away from him as the sofa would allow. Gibbs looked away from him for a moment, staring at the television screen, which played some movie that he was sure he had seen before but of course couldn't remember what it was exactly. Something with ghosts, wasn't it? Maybe he should just ask but then the younger man would just start to ramble on and on about it and Gibbs really wasn't up for that tonight…

"Soooo," DiNozzo's voice interrupted his musings.

"So?"

"You're here."

"Yup."

Gibbs turned around to look at Tony, who was sneezing again at the moment, and he realized that he should probably have brought some food with him, chicken soup or something like that but well, too late now. He subtly shook his head, knowing that he was procrastinating.

"Are you going to say anything or do we just keep on reenacting _The Little Match Girl_?"

There it was, the inevitable movie reference but the slight shake in Tony's voice hadn't slipped Gibbs' attention. The kid was really nervous, the way he was shifting on the couch, the way his eyes darted all across the room never once settling on Gibbs spoke volumes.

Gibbs, however, still remained silent, all of a sudden unsure why he had come here in the first place.

-x-

Tony felt himself getting more restless with every second that passed. He was sure that he couldn't take it much longer, just staring at Gibbs who was apparently just there to make him even more of a nervous wreck than he had been before. Hell, he hadn't even raised an eyebrow at his movie reference which he usually always did. He had simply stared back at him, not moving and Tony wasn't even sure whether or not the man was actually breathing.

"Gibbs," he finally started as the silence seemed to crush him, "like I said before, you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. We don't have to do this."

Gibbs simply kept on staring at him, still not saying anything, so Tony decided to shut up again, apparently his boss needed more time to think, more time to work out an exit-strategy or whatever. Tony kept his eyes firmly on the older man now, not once averting his glance.

"Ghostbusters," Gibbs suddenly said, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"Huh?"

Momentarily confused, Tony raised an eyebrow as he saw his boss' lips curl up into an actual smile.

"The movie, DiNozzo. It's _Ghostbusters_, right?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Tony replied, slightly baffled by Gibbs' knowledge. "You know how much I really love to talk about movies, Gibbs, but…"

"No kidding," his boss interrupted him, that smirk not yet vanished from his face.

"You want to discuss movies, now?" Tony blurted out, unable to hide his desperate impatience anymore.

Gibbs looked at him, his expression all serious again, his eyes flickering for a moment.

"No."

-x-

"So, why did you come here, then?"

Gibbs looked into DiNozzo's eyes for the first time that evening and he saw something in them that he had rarely seen before. He had actually let his guard down for now, was actually waiting for an honest answer, no time for playing. Gibbs sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I don't really know, Tony. Maybe I just didn't want you to figure it out alone. Maybe I need to figure out this thing, too."

Tony met his gaze now, his green eyes somehow brighter than before.

"So, you're basically saying there is a thing here?"

Gibbs shrugged before he gave a curt nod. "I guess."

Tony's face lit up, a broad smile appearing on his lips and Gibbs suddenly felt himself unable to look away from him.

"So, this thing," Tony continued, slightly inching towards him on the couch, "is this a good one or a bad one?"

Again, Gibbs only shrugged, though he didn't miss the suddenly warm feeling that was spreading in his gut.

"Oh, you're not sure?" Tony continued, somehow really energetic all of a sudden, practically bouncing up and down on the couch. "And when Leroy Jethro Gibbs isn't sure about whether something is bad or not, it's got to be good."

Gibbs let out a laugh, giving his Senior Field Agent a smile, which caused him to flash his 1000 watt DiNozzo trademark grin.

"You know, Gibbs," Tony replied with another smile, "technically there's only one way to find out whether you like this _thing_ or hate it."

Gibbs watched him shift closer to him on the couch and his mind was screaming at him now to put an end to the insanity that was called Tony but somehow he felt himself unable to move, even unable to blink an eye. It seemed the louder his senses told him to get away from all of that, the more he wanted to stay, the closer he wanted Tony to sit next to him. He knew it made no sense, he was Leroy Jethro straight-as-an-arrow Gibbs, for heaven's sake, and still he couldn't help but stare at his agent's lips that were coming sooner with every moment that passed.

Tony only stopped as their noses nearly touched and he closed his eyes as if he wanted to breathe in Gibbs's scent before he whispered.

"You can still go."

Gibbs almost imperceptibly shook his head and stared into Tony's green eyes again, searching for something and he really wasn't sure what for exactly. But before he could make up his mind, before he could even take another breath, Tony's lips brushed against his and Gibbs was surprised at himself as he felt his hands gripping the hair on Tony's neck, drawing him even closer.

Tony however backed away only a moment later and for a fraction of a second, Gibbs felt the sinking sensation in his stomach when he thought that Tony had changed his mind but then, a broad smile appeared on his face again.

"So, what do you say? Good or bad?"

"Good, definitely good."

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think! :)_


	6. Screwed Up

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, favorites and alerts! :) Keep them coming ;-)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Six: Screwed Up<span>**

"_Good, definitely good."_

Tony stared at Gibbs for a moment, trying to let the words sink in until he realized that this actually was a good thing. And looking at Gibbs now, his lips curled up into a – and Tony had rarely, really rarely, seen one of those before – smile, he couldn't help but grin back at him. Maybe his stupid drunken mind hadn't been that stupid after all. Maybe this was just exactly what he had needed – what they had needed.

Tony was still kind of hanging in his thoughts and almost missed that Gibbs had leaned into him once more. But now, suddenly, Tony was hyperaware of the crashing sounds that came from the television and he could see the lights flicker on Gibbs' face, even in his eyes, as Gibbs just kept on staring quietly at him, making him the tiniest bit self-conscious but still, he felt himself unable to look away from those blue eyes that bored into his. He had known Gibbs for almost ten years now but Tony couldn't help but wonder how in the world he had missed those fine wrinkles around his eyes, how he could have missed the few freckles on his cheeks. He let his gaze slip lower, to the rest of his body that he had seen like a thousands of times, but which seemed so utterly different today. Wait, had Gibbs changed before he came here? Tony was sure that today at work, he had been wearing his usual Sears polo-shirt but now he was wearing a button-down shirt that didn't look all that shabby and damn, the older man actually _was_ looking hot in it.

"When did you get that?" Tony teased, his voice strangely hoarse.

He reached down to run his hand along the shirt, to feel Gibbs' warmth underneath it. But then his boss suddenly caught his hand in his just before he touched him, startling him. When Tony looked him into the eyes again, green locking into blue ones, Gibbs' expression was intense, almost threatening to a degree. For a fleeting moment, Tony thought that he might be angry with him but before he had actually formed that thought in his mind, Gibbs had yanked him towards him and covered Tony's mouth with his in a hungry kiss. Tony responded immediately, even surprising himself a bit with his own enthusiasm. Gibbs' mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than Tony could have ever imagined (because, really, he was kissing a guy here, right?). He tasted tentatively with his tongue and Gibbs opened his mouth with a low moan.

But just as Tony was about to deepen the kiss even further, Gibbs suddenly pushed away as if he'd been burned. He jumped up from the couch and Tony watched him hesitantly stepping away from him, one hand on his hip, the other one pinching the bridge of his nose. Then, he looked back at Tony again, who was still sitting on the couch, one hand resting on the backrest, the other one loosely hanging on his side.

"I'm sorry, Tony," he said in a voice that sounded oddly strangled. "This isn't right."

Tony felt his stomach sink, an iron fist clutching it. He looked up at Gibbs now, desperately trying to keep a composed expression on his face, desperately trying to not let his eagerness and disappointment show.

"No, Gibbs, you just said so yourself - it's okay, it's good."

Tony realized that his voice was a pitch too high, a bit off and he wasn't quite sure what was the reason for it – the cold, the kiss only moments before or Gibbs' sudden show of remorse, regret.

"No, it's not."

With that, Gibbs turned around and walked out the door, leaving Tony sitting there, wondering what in the world had just happened, what the hell he had done wrong.

-x-

Gibbs had thought that a good night's sleep would do him some good, would make everything seem not as bad. But he found himself unable to even close his eyes without a vision of Tony appearing in front of his inner eye, looking so disappointed, so hurt that Gibbs had found himself unable to fall asleep. So, he had just gone down into his basement, trying to work on the boat but even the usually soothing task of sanding the wood hadn't done him any good. He had just wanted to not think about what he had done, if only for a few minutes but he just wasn't able to.

Remorse was creeping slowly up his spine, making itself perceivable. He shouldn't have kissed Tony. _Really_ shouldn't have. He was his boss, it was against his rules, even against NCIS rules, Gibbs realized. He subtly shook his head, knowing that he had screwed up – big time. He should have just let Tony figure it out, getting over it, on his own, Gibbs should not have interfered. This was just so wrong on so many levels that Gibbs feared that his agent would never forgive him, because he sure as hell wouldn't forgive himself for it and besides all their obvious differences, Tony and Gibbs were cut from the same cloth, so Gibbs felt sure that Tony was already writing out his resignation to Vance.

Gibbs sighed again, running his hand through his hair and had a sudden flashback of Tony's fingers doing the same, causing Gibbs' heart to pick up pace. He shook his head again, willing his thoughts away from Tony's warm and soft lips. Gibbs stepped away from the boat and angrily threw the sanding paper at the far wall.

He knew that he was lying to himself. He knew that it wasn't the fact that Tony was his freaking agent, it wasn't even the fact that he was a guy. No, all of that didn't matter to Gibbs. In fact, he had actually enjoyed kissing him – a lot. He didn't even know why exactly, he had put an end to all of that before it had even had the chance to become an actual thing. But that was exactly the problem, Gibbs thought as he poured himself another glass of bourbon.

It had felt good, it had felt right. As a matter of fact, nothing had ever felt that right, no kiss had ever felt that good since… since Shannon. And he couldn't let that happen, right? He just couldn't.

-x-

Tony sat in his car, shortly squinting at the two white roses that lay upon the passenger seat and sighed. He had called Ziva a few minutes previously, telling her that he was still sick and wouldn't come to work – which wasn't technically even a lie because he was still coughing quite a lot and his head was still throbbing painfully. However, he would have gone to work on every other day but not today. Alone the thought of having to look at Gibbs even if only for a second was unbearable. He still couldn't understand – all of it. Why kiss him and then just leave? Why raise his hopes just to crush them moments later? It didn't make sense, did it?

Tony pulled over as he had arrived at his destination, picked up the flowers and stepped out into the chill. It had been raining for days now and Tony turned up the collar of his coat, shielding himself from the rain. He didn't deign to look at the church on his right but single-mindedly walked towards the by now well-known cemetery. It took him a few minutes until he found the right spot and bent down to remove the remains of the two white roses that he had brought the last time he had been here and replaced them with the fresh ones.

He sighed and kneeled down, not caring that his jeans would get wet and dirty. He ran his hands through his hair before he looked at the two graves, taking a deep breath.

"I really screwed it up this time," he said looking from Shannon to Kelly's grave before he continued. "I think I just messed up the only working, actually working, relationship I've ever had. And I don't even know what I've done wrong this time. But you know him, he's Gibbs and… and I thought, he wanted it, too, you know. Well, at least, it _seemed_ like he wanted it, too. This… this is so screwed up and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Knowing your man, I should probably resign, look for another job or get myself transferred, right? Damn…"

Tony trailed off, wiping his face, not knowing if it was only the rain or actual tears that had been streaming down his cheeks. He had been at their graves at least once a month since he had found about their deaths, not really knowing what he actually was expecting from his visits. But whenever he had needed a new perspective on something, whenever work or life in general had driven him crazy – or Gibbs had driven him crazy - he had come here and it had always helped.

But still, this time it didn't feel right and Tony should have known beforehand because, really, why would he go to Gibbs's wife and daughter to talk to them about kissing _their_ man? He shook his head before he readjusted the roses on the ground, said a soft goodbye, promised to come back soon and was about to get up as he felt a hand upon his left shoulder.

Startled, he looked up and felt his heart stutter for a moment. No, he should have never found out and especially not today. No, no, no. But there he was standing, his cheeks flushed, his nostrils flaring dangerously – Gibbs.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be pure awesomeness! :)_


	7. Tried Can't

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, you guys are absolutely awesome._

_I do, however, apologize for my cliffhangers... but I do kinda like them xD Okay, here's chapter 7, I hope you like it :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Seven: Tried. Can't.<span>**

_But there he was standing, his cheeks flushed, his nostrils flaring dangerously – Gibbs._

Tony stared up at him, trying to figure out what to do next. Should he just get up and leave? Should he stay where he was and possibly get shouted at? Gibbs' eyes were slightly darker than usual, the little friendliness that could normally be found in them, momentarily vanished. Tony tried to get up but as soon as he had moved he felt the hand on his shoulder gripping him a little bit harder and he stayed down, angrily glaring up at his boss. Really, what was he thinking?

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Gibbs asked, his voice strangely strangled.

"Uhm," Tony started, once again wiping away the rain (or was it tears now?) from his face.

"Uhm?" Gibbs prompted, still staring at him before he averted his glance to look at his wife and daughter's graves.

Then, suddenly the grip on Tony's shoulders faded as Gibbs let his hand drop to his side. He had returned to staring at him but somehow something was different now.

"Those your roses?"

Tony only nodded and stood up, suddenly nervous now. He looked down at the graves and back into the general direction where Gibbs was standing, not daring to look him in the eyes.

The older man sighed now, running his hand over his face, shaking his head.

"They were always from you?" his voice even more strangled now and Tony gulped again, still not knowing what he was supposed to expect now.

"Yeah, ever since I found out," he started, noting his slightly shaking voice. "Sorry. I know I shouldn't have…"

"Why, Tony?"

Gibbs' voice was completely off now, it was actually matching Tony's own shaky one and Tony locked eyes with him, knowing that Gibbs wanted the truth. And even though, Tony was still angry at him about kissing and then leaving him, the weird begging expression on Gibbs' face made him clear his throat before he answered.

-x-

"Look Gibbs," Tony started and Gibbs felt the suddenly overwhelming urge to give him a hug, to wrap his arms around him, so lost he seemed to be.  
>"I don't know exactly why I'm here or why I kept on visiting. It's just, you know, first I wasn't sure whether you came here on a regular basis because well, I don't know. You never talked about them and maybe it was just your way to handle things… all of it. So I thought that they would maybe like to, you know, have a visitor once in a while. That's why I started coming here. Nothing more and nothing less. But, you know, after a little while, I just came here to find some peace of mind… and it always seemed to work somehow. I'm sorry, if that sounds stupid now but that's what it is."<p>

Gibbs nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to ignore the burning feeling just behind his eyes. How could he have mistaken Tony like that?

"I'm sorry," Tony continued, disrupting his train of thought. "I know this is totally inappropriate and…"

"No," Gibbs interrupted him, cursing his own voice for betraying him now. "You were right, I only started coming here after… after I retired to Mexico, I think. I… before that I just wasn't…"

He trailed off now, looking away from Tony and to the graves again, unable to continue.

"Hey," Tony said now, his voice soft all of a sudden and Gibbs felt guilt rising up inside of him because he really didn't deserve his sympathy.  
>"You don't have to explain anything. This is not my place to be from the start. And well, I thought you would never find out that I visit them regularly. And I'll just stop now, okay? I won't come here anymore."<p>

"No."

Gibbs was surprised at his own vehemence and his realization that he actually wanted Tony there. He had often wondered who was bringing those white roses, of all flowers white roses, Kelly's favorite, to their graves and while he had had a few suspects, his thoughts had never reached Tony. He should have, though, Gibbs realized now as he had always been the one who had understood him best – even better than Ducky…

"No?"

"No, you can come here whenever you like, Tony," Gibbs sighed. "It's a free country, you can do whatever you want to."

"You want me to come here?" his Senior Field Agent asked incredulously now, causing Gibbs to shift his glance back to him.

"Yeah."

-x-

Tony looked up surprised. Wait, had he just actually said that? Did Gibbs really _want_ him to visit his family? Maybe, Tony hadn't screwed up that bad as he had thought he had.

They remained silent for what seemed like forever. Tony just stood there, staring at his boss, not knowing what to say next, what to do next. He had thought that they would possibly never talk to each other again. Hell, half an hour ago, he hadn't even thought that he could as much as look at the guy and still, there they were standing now, having the most honest conversation ever. He looked at Gibbs who was slightly paler than usual, his eyes somehow a bit glazed and Tony felt the sudden splinter of hope spark inside of him that maybe he would forgive him after all. For everything.

"Tony," Gibbs finally broke the silence and eye contact between them. "We should get going. It's cold out here and you're soaking wet."

He simply nodded and looked up into the sky as if he had only realized now that rain was pouring down on them. As Tony looked down again, Gibbs had already turned around and he couldn't help but feel disappointed by the lack of closeness. But then, Gibbs turned around and looked him into the eyes again.

"Coming?"

-x-

Gibbs didn't know what exactly had driven him to invite Tony over to his house, what exactly had made him offer a shower and coffee. And he realized that he was surprised that the younger man had willingly come along, never once asking why he was invited over. Gibbs knew, he owed him an apology but he simply couldn't help but feel slightly helpless because how in the world was he supposed to explain the reason for his abrupt departure the day before?

"Sooo," Tony said now, sitting at the other end of Gibbs' kitchen table, looking sharply at him. "We're here."

"Yup."

Silence.

Gibbs watched Tony fidget on his chair, clearly uncomfortable. He knew it was his turn to speak but he still didn't know how to start the conversation. Damn, he didn't even know what exactly he wanted to tell him.

"Gibbs, I get it," Tony startled him. "I know this is weird now. And I get it, you're not interested in me and I overstepped the boundaries. I get it. I'll have Vance transfer me to another team. I mean, I don't want that but I know there's no other solution because clearly I have this… this thing for you and you… don't."

"The team's your family, Tony. You know you can't just leave."

"What other choice do I have, Gibbs?" Tony's voice was breaking now and Gibbs once again stifled the splinter of guilt, the urge to put his arms around him.  
>"Clearly, we can't keep going like this. I can't just pretend to be your Senior Field Agent as if nothing has ever happened. I wish I could but… damn it, it won't work and you know it, too, Gibbs. I can't even look at you without… whatever. Doesn't matter."<p>

"Tony, stop," Gibbs interrupted him now, knowing that Tony was apologizing for things that _he _should apologize for.

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose again then ran his hand over his face, trying to figure out a way out of this freaking mess.

"I don't want you to leave. You're the best agent I've ever worked with and we were friends until I screwed it up."

"_You_ screwed it up?"

"Yeah, me. Look, I could have just let you go home yesterday, I could have just not come over, I could have just not kissed you. But I did and I screwed up when I just walked out on you."

"So, then why did you?" Tony's voice sounded bitter now and Gibbs knew that he had all the right in the world to feel that way.

"Damn it, DiNozzo, because I thought I wanted it, too."

Tony looked up seemingly surprised before his expression changed as the words sunk in, replacing surprise with devastation.

"But you didn't… want it… me."

Gibbs sighed again, knowing that he owed him the truth, even it would break up their friendship once and for all.

"No, Tony. I wanted you. And you have done nothing wrong, you couldn't have known. I… I have tried to replace Shannon before and it has never worked out. It just never felt right, you know. But yesterday, as you… as we kissed, it just did feel right and I couldn't handle it. I still can't because I don't want to replace Shannon, Tony."

"I didn't try to," Tony started but Gibbs cut him off before he could lose his nerve.

"I know you don't. It doesn't change anything, though. I can't be with you, I'm sorry. I really am. But I also don't want you to leave the team because want you to have my back. I trust you, Tony. Maybe I just need more time to process things but I can't keep you hanging like that because you don't deserve that either. I just… "

Tony had suddenly stood up, interrupting Gibbs' ramblings as he approached him. He only stopped as he kneeled down in front of him, one hand on Gibbs' right knee, staring up into his eyes and the older man was able to see tears starting to form in his green eyes now.

"I get it," he whispered now. "I do and I'm staying. Or I'll try to stay, okay? I don't know if I'll be able to but I'm going to try and I'll try to get over you, too. But I cannot promise that everything will be back to normal anytime soon. I just can't, okay?"

Gibbs nodded and felt his own heart breaking at the mere sight of Tony's tears running down his cheeks now.

"I'm sorry," Gibbs said now, only above a whisper.

"Don't apologize," Tony replied, a small smile forming on his lips. "Sign of weakness, remember?"

Gibbs simply nodded, wearily running his fingers through his hair again.

"I'll get going, then," Tony said, getting up again. "I have to be back at work tomorrow or my boss will go ballistic."

Tony gave him a small smile again, furrowed a brow for a moment before he leaned down and brushed his lips against Gibbs' cheek for a second and then turned around and left the house, leaving him sitting there, his hand touching the spot where he had just kissed him.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be great ;)_


	8. Cold and Nice

_A/N: Wow, thank you so much for the overwhelming response to that last chapter. You really are awesome! :) I tried to reply to everyone individually and I'm sorry, if I missed anyone ;)_

_Nothing much to say, so here we go..._

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Eight: Cold and Nice<span>**

"_You can do that. You can do it. You're Anthony DiNozzo, king of undercover missions. You can do it. You have no weakness for your freaking boss, you did not cry in front of him yesterday. This is just going to be a normal day at the office. Nothing special. McGoo and Ziva will be there, so just concentrate on teasing them and good teases at that because they're investigators after all. If the teases are off, they might realize that something's up. Damn, what if they find out?"_

Tony sighed and leaned his head against the cold metal walls of the elevator. True to his promise, he had decided to go back to work, had decided to act like nothing had ever happened. But even now, and hell, he hadn't even arrived at the bullpen yet, he felt his heart rate accelerate and he knew that his hands were starting to sweat. He knew he was being stupid and in fact, he couldn't even explain it to himself because, really, only five days before he hadn't even known that there something there with Gibbs and now he was standing there, afraid to go to work, afraid that he would slip up, afraid of looking his boss into the eye.

But then again, maybe he had been in love with him all along and just hadn't noticed. It happened, right? But Tony could have lived with that fact alone, knowing that Gibbs just wasn't interested in him. And as he had lain in bed that night, he had secretly wished that Gibbs hadn't told him that this had felt right to him and that he just couldn't because of Shannon. Why did he have to tell him? Wouldn't a simple, 'It won't work because I'm a bastard' have been enough? Did Tony really need to know that there were feelings there on his boss' side, making it even harder to forget about it?

Another sigh and the elevator doors opened on his floor. He stepped out and determinedly walked to his desk, nodded a good morning to McGee and Ziva, relieved that Gibbs wasn't there for the moment and flopped down on his chair. He was just about to boot up his computer as he felt eyes on him and he looked up, only to stare into Ziva's worried expression.

"Are you alright?"

Tony looked away from her, instead pretending to stare at his still blank computer screen. Had she really already noticed that something was, in fact, not alright with him?

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been out sick for three days now, Tony," Ziva replied, a brow furrowed.

"Oh," Tony finally caught up. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little headache."

Ziva nodded, apparently satisfied and Tony released a breath before he actually started on his work.

Four replied e-mails into the morning, Tony heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind him and he knew that it was him. He internally braced himself, tried to keep his features composed. But then, there was first a cough and then a sneeze, causing him to turn around, wondering if he had mistaken Gibbs' footsteps for someone else's after all. But there he was in all his glory. Tony turned around to look at Ziva, an eyebrow raised, realizing that Ziva looked just as surprised as he felt.

"Since when does Gibbs get sick?" McGee asked at that exact moment.

Tony stared back at him, remembering that their boss had once said that he had never had a cold, let alone the flu… But before he could dwell upon that any longer, Gibbs grabbed his gun and badge.

"Gear up, dead sailor in Quantico."

Tony had his backpack already slung over his shoulder, ready to trail behind Gibbs as the boss turned around to look at him.

"You okay, Tony?"

Tony looked up a tad surprised but then nodded, "Yeah, Boss."

Gibbs slightly nodded before he turned around again and led the way to the elevator.

-x-

The drive to the crime scene had been silent and as much as Gibbs usually liked his quietness, it had gnawed away at his nerves. He didn't know exactly what it was that was bothering him. The fact that McGee was sitting next to him and not Tony as it was usually the case, the fact that DiNozzo kept on staring out the window, not once averting his gaze, not once joining in the forced conversation between McGee and Ziva or the fact that Gibbs' head was pounding or his sore throat making itself perceivable with every sip of his coffee.

Granted, he hadn't slept all that well the night before but he usually didn't need the sleep anyway. He had been working on his boat for the most part of the night, hoping that the sanding of the wood would relax him but just like expected he hadn't winded down one bit. The image of Tony squatting in front of him, tears running down his cheeks, promising to try to keep on working with him, had just kept on showing up in front of his inner eye and it had left Gibbs oddly restless all night.

But still, a night without sleep didn't explain the headache and certainly didn't explain the sore throat. Had Gibbs actually caught the flu? He decided it didn't matter for the time being, they had a dead marine, so he would simply concentrate on the task at hand.

He barked his commands at his agents once they were at the crime scene but he couldn't help but notice that his voice was slightly off as he told DiNozzo to take sketches. He had really meant to act like nothing had happened – for both of their sake's. But apparently nobody had noticed anyway as they all strolled off and Gibbs took another sip from his coffee, praying that this case would soon be closed.

A few hours later, Ziva and Gibbs were standing in front of the big screen, listening to McGee's remarks about the dead sailor's life. So far, there was nothing really out of the ordinary, except a few thousand dollars on an additional bank account that was yet to be determined. McGee was still talking as DiNozzo suddenly appeared on Gibbs's right hand side, handing each of them a cup of coffee.

Gibbs took a sip and nearly spit it out again. What in the world?

"What is that crap?" Gibbs asked, turning around to his agent, unintentionally brushing his hand against his arm, causing Tony to jump ever so slightly but he recovered quickly enough.

"That's tea, Boss."

"And why in the world would you get me tea, DiNozzo?"

"Oh, I heard rumors about tea helping to get rid of a cold and stuff."

Gibbs glared at him for a moment until he realized that Tony was actually staring right back at him for the first time that day. And then, Gibbs noticed – and he really didn't deserve it, really didn't – that he was able to see the concern in Tony's eyes before he quickly looked away again, as if looking at Gibbs a moment longer would burn him. Gibbs took another sip from his revolting tasting tea before he leaned into Tony a bit and mouthed 'Thanks', just for him to hear. Tony just nodded and then drew his attention back to the plasma.

-x-

At the end of the day, and a very exhausting one at that, Tony was riding the elevator down to the garage together with McGee. Tony sighed and looked at Tim who seemed to size him up the moment before he realized that Tony had noticed and quickly looked away.

"What's up, McGoggle?"

"Uh, nothing, Tony," McGee replied, still not looking at him.

"Oh, come on, spit it out."

"Ah, it's just… what did Gibbs do to you?"

Tony felt his blood rush to the head, heard his pulse in his own ears. Once again, he wondered what had given him away but then he realized that McGee might just be fishing, after all.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" He tried to play it cool, hoping that McGee had missed the pause before his answer.

"I don't know but he was just so… nice to you all day."

"Nice?" Tony let out a laugh. "You mean when he gave me a head slap because I quoted Steve McQueen down in Abby's lap or barked at me to finally get moving?"

"No, Tony. He did ask you whether you were alright, he said thanks as you gave him tea, Tony, tea. And he said please, as he told you to do the sketches."

"He did?" Tony asked, honestly surprised this time.

"Yeah."

"Well," Tony dragged out the word, thinking fast of an answer that would keep McGee off his trail. "You know, maybe he's having a good day or it's just his cold or something."

He flashed a grin, hoping to sound convincing and felt relieved as McGee simply nodded and dropped the topic.

On his way home, Tony couldn't help but let the day pass in front of his inner eye, searching for any more hints of a 'nice' Gibbs as McGee had called him. Tony knew that if he kept on being like that, McGee and Ziva would notice all too soon. But maybe it _had been _the cold that had made his boss act the way he did. Tony sighed and then let out a soft chuckle as the realization hit him that he was probably the reason why Gibbs was having a cold in the first place.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be awesomeness in the very Barney Stinson-y kind of way xD_


	9. Once And For All

_A/N: Thanks again for reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting xD_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Nine: Once And For All<span>**

Tony was sifting through the dead marine's belongings down in Abby's lab, hoping to finally find something that would be useful for the case. They had chased down dead end after dead end that day and Tony was slowly getting restless. He knew he had to present at least something to Gibbs later or the guy would get even grumpier than he had been the whole day.

And McGee was to blame for his mood this time, Tony was sure about that. Granted, Tiny Tim's question whether their boss was alright was a reasonable one because Gibbs was clearly suffering from the flu, his eyes glassy, his cheeks flushed, alternately sneezing or coughing. But of course, because he was the infallible Agent Gibbs, he wasn't really sick and he had told McGee that with a head slap. Ever since, whenever he had been talking, it was more of a bark than anything else which made Tony all itchy inside because he usually was only like that when something bad - really bad - had happened or was about to happen.

All the more reason to find some evidence, something weird about the dead sailor. So, Tony had buried himself in work, preferably far away from Gibbs the whole day and that was why he was down in Abby's lab after all. It had been mostly silent down since he had arrived, as Abby was working hard, too, and Tony had asked (or begged actually) to turn down her music because his headache had yet to vanish.

Tony sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, wondering what they all had been missing. There had to be something, there just had to be.

"What do you got, Abs?"

Gibbs' voice came from somewhere behind him and Tony sighed inwardly as he had hoped that Gibbs wouldn't show up for at least another blissful hour. His boss, however, didn't spare a glance at Tony but walked right up to Abby.

"Uh, Gibbs. I don't have anything, yet. That's odd as you usually only come here when Major Mass Spec is dinging or is about to. You sure, your timing's right? Or is your cold affecting your…"

"I don't have a cold, Abby," Gibbs interrupted her sharply, raising his voice.

It was when Tony had had enough. It was one thing when to be disgruntled and bark orders at McGee, Ziva or him but it was a completely different thing to be rude to Abby. He never was anything but nice to Abby and just because Gibbs was too stubborn to admit that he had a freaking cold, he didn't have to be that way.

"Sure, you don't," Tony chimed in, his voice surprisingly steady.

Even as Gibbs turned around to glare at him, Tony didn't back away, instead he stared right back at him, suddenly angry without a reasonable cause.

"I'm sure your mood doesn't have anything to do with the coughing, the sneezing or the headache you're having. And don't shake your head now. I've seen you taking a few aspirins an hour ago when you thought no one was watching."

Tony shortly glanced at Abby who was standing there, her mouth slightly hanging open, for once totally quiet before he returned to look at Gibbs who was trying to give him his trademark scary glare but failed miserably. As his boss still remained silent, Tony took a step forward, feeling his temper rise even more now. He really didn't know why he was angry actually. Sure, Gibbs had been a perfect example of a bastard all day long but somewhere deep inside of him, Tony knew that it had nothing to with that at all. As Gibbs had left his apartment after their kiss, Tony had been devastated but now despair was slowly giving way to resentment and frankly he didn't care that Abby was there at the moment.

Tony came to a halt directly in front of Gibbs now, raised his hand and then touched it to Gibbs' forehead for a fraction of a second before Gibbs grabbed his wrist and pushed it away.

"You're hot, too," Tony blurted out causing Gibbs' eyes to widen for a moment.

Out of the corners of his eyes, Tony was suddenly able to see a smirk building on Abby's lips before he realized what he had just said.

"Oh, he's always hot… and cute," Abby giggled, finally finding her voice before she became all serious again, ignoring Gibbs' stare as she turned to look at him.

"Tony's right though, Gibbs. You _are_ sick. You should probably go home, you know."

"We're in the middle of a case, Abby. I can't just go home," Gibbs finally started to talk again, though his voice was calmer now, more composed.

"Sure you can. Right, Tony?" Abby replied.

"She's right, Boss. It's almost 2100 anyway. We won't find anything tonight. Maybe we should all go home, rest and then start fresh tomorrow morning."

Gibbs glared at him for a moment but then, to Tony's complete surprise, he nodded once, turned around to Abby as if to give her a kiss on her cheek but then he apparently decided against it after all. As he was halfway out the lab, he turned around again.

"Tell McGee and Ziva to go home and it's your responsibility if we don't find anything tomorrow, DiNozzo."

"You got it, Boss."

-x-

Gibbs was just about to start his truck as he noticed DiNozzo standing right in front of his car, motioning him to stop. Sighing, he rolled down the window.

"What is it?"

"You sure you're good to drive, Boss?"

DiNozzo's voice was smooth but still, Gibbs realized that it was slightly off, as if he was nervous. And Gibbs thought that DiNozzo had probably all the right in the world to feel that way. Never before had he talked to him like that or at least not in front of the others, especially not Abby. Gibbs knew that he had been a bastard all day but well, he had hoped to be able to keep it in check but Tony, of course, had seen right through him once again.

Gibbs sighed again before he answered.

"It's just a _cold_, DiNozzo. I think I'm good to drive."

Tony scrutinized him for a moment, his eyes trailing along his face. Just as Gibbs started to think that he'd let it go, his agent shook his head.

"No, let me drive you home. It's my fault that you're sick anyway, so…"

Gibbs stared up at him, his stomach suddenly all fuzzy as he remembered sitting close to a sick Tony on his couch, kissing him. He sighed again, running his hand over his face, feeling a headache building up right behind his eyes.

"I promise, I won't talk on the way," Tony prodded now, his eyes never once leaving his face.

"Tony," Gibbs started, surprised by Tony's apparent change in mood. Hadn't he been angry with him only minutes before? Where did the sudden worry come from now?  
>"You don't have to do this, I'm fine."<p>

"You have a fever, Boss, and you know it. And remember when I said that I wanted things to go back to normal?" Tony said now, his voice suddenly quiet, his expression serious. "And I normally wouldn't let you drive like that."

Gibbs looked at him for a moment, realizing that he was probably right, so he raised his hands in surrender and scooted over onto the passenger seat, handing the keys to Tony who had taken seat next to him.

-x-

Just as promised, Tony had kept quiet on the way home, keeping his eyes firmly on the road even though he knew that Gibbs had been staring at him all the way. He still hadn't said anything when he had walked into Gibbs' house and kitchen and had heated up some water.

"What are you doing?" Gibbs asked, leaning against the doorframe, looking at him.

"I'm making you tea," Tony replied, already opening up drawers in search for teabags of some sort.

"On your right, top shelf."

Tony nodded and reached out for what seemed to black tea.

"What, no coffee flavor?"

He joked causing Gibbs to actually chuckle right next to him. When had he come so close all of a sudden? He was leaning against the kitchen unit now only inches away from him, a strange expression on his face. Once again, Tony was able to take in the glassy blue eyes that suddenly seemed to bore into his, leaving him unable to think straight, let alone string together a coherent sentence. So, he just kept on staring at Gibbs, wondering what in the world was happening right now that made him all tingly inside.

As he was still thinking about what had happened to bring on that sudden change of mood, that sudden change of expression on Gibbs's face, the older man had leaned into him. And Tony had still not registered what exactly was going on when Gibbs' nose grazed his and those damned lips had brushed against his own. It was only when Tony felt himself kissing him back that his mind finally caught up with what was happening and he quickly pulled away, stepping away from Gibbs.

He stared at him for a moment, his heart pounding, his pulse loud in his ears. Tony knew this wasn't right and yet his body was screaming at him to just step forward again. But his common sense luckily seemed to prevail this time.

"Don't do this to me," he finally said only above a whisper but he could still hear that his voice was shaking.

"Do what?" Gibbs replied, furrowing a brow and stepping towards him again but Tony held up his hands causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

"Don't kiss me now and then tell me that you can't do this. It's not fair and you know it."

"Tony," Gibbs said now, his voice equally quiet.

"No, Gibbs, don't tony me now. You know that you don't want this, that you don't want me. I tried to normalize things between us but I cannot do it, if you're acting like you want me all of a sudden."

"Tony," Gibbs started again but he held up his hand once more and shook his head, feeling tears already sting his eyes.

He blinked rapidly for a few moments, refusing to let them fall.

"I don't want to hear it," he finally continued. "Just… make up your mind, once and for all."

With that and one last stare at a troubled looking Gibbs, Tony left the house.

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think :)_


	10. That Other Person

_A/N: Thanks for reviewing and reading and alerting and favoriting again! :) You guys are pure awesomeness! :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Ten: That Other Person<span>**

Exhausted, Tony flopped down on the chair behind his desk. The last couple of days and nights had been stressful and tiresome to say the least. But finally they had brought in a suspect who soon enough turned out to be the murderer of the sailor and all what was left to do now was write their reports and then get home in one piece. It was already 2000 on Saturday and Tony had been all but dreaming about a movie, a pizza and his bed all day.

"You got plans tonight, Tony?" McGee suddenly asked, looking at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Why?"

"Just thinking. You're in quite a hurry. I've rarely seen you type that fast before."

"Oh, shut up, McGoo. But yes," Tony was thinking fast now, he had a reputation to uphold after all. "I do have a hot date tonight. Her name's Linda. Blonde, leggy. Will make me forget all the insults that Gibbs has thrown at me all week."

Internally, Tony actually thought that a distraction from Gibbs would come in really handy these days. Luckily, work had been really busy and all-consuming those last couple of days, giving him next to no time to think about that kiss in Gibbs' kitchen. But still, he had drifted off into fantasyland too often for his own good and that was maybe the reason why he had imagined Gibbs' eyes resting upon him quite a few times and quite long at that, too. Tony had tried to ignore it as best as he could because he really didn't want to slip up in front of the others. He had meant what he had said in Gibbs' kitchen. He would let him be, wouldn't pressure him or anything because he really wanted Gibbs to figure it out, figure it out what he wanted. Deep down, and Tony tried to ignore that sinking feeling in his gut as best as he could as well, he knew that his boss would never decide to give this a shot. In fact, he was one hundred percent sure that Gibbs would let him off the hook, would decide in favor of Shannon.

"Linda, huh?" Ziva suddenly rose him from his daydream. "Does she know what she has gotten herself into?"

"You mean the handsome, fun-loving, awesome man that I…" Tony stopped abruptly as a hand connected with the back of his head.  
>"Right, sorry, Boss."<p>

-x-

Gibbs sat down at his desk, trying not to spare as much as a glance into Tony's direction. He hadn't heard all of the conversation between his agents but enough to feel all tingly inside. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice said 'you're jealous' repeatedly but he really tried to ignore it. He had no right feel that way anyway. But still, had DiNozzo gotten over him that fast? Could it really have just been a phase? And a short one at that? But then again, why was he suddenly feeling so alone? It was his fault anyway.

He still didn't know what had driven him to kiss Tony. Gibbs thought that he might have been touched by his concern for him. Because, seriously, Gibbs had just told the guy that this would not work between them and still, Tony (and even now, Gibbs was still impressed how much he had grown those last couple of years) had cared enough to make sure that he was home safe, that he would get better soon. However, maybe it was just compassion for the kid. Or maybe (and that was a really big maybe) he kissed him because he simply felt like it, because he wanted to touch him, because he wanted him as close as possible.

Gibbs subtly shook his head, trying to stifle that very thought. For a fleeting moment, he glanced at Tony, who was momentarily not typing anymore but was staring right back at him before he apparently realized what he was doing and quickly averted his glance to the screen in front of him again.

The splinter of guilt made itself perceivable again as he watched his Senior Field Agent blush ever so slightly and Gibbs knew that he had to make up his mind soon. He knew that he had been procrastinating over those last couple of days, even if they did have a lot of work. Just like Tony had said, he needed to make a decision but right now, he was still too confused about it all. Besides, if Tony really did have a date tonight, there might not be the need to decide after all…

An hour later, McGee and Ziva were long gone, DiNozzo finally stood up, grabbed his gear and was halfway on his way to the elevators when he suddenly turned around and almost carefully approached Gibb's desk.

"Hey Boss," he said so quietly that Gibbs looked up at last.

For the first time since he had left the kitchen a couple of days before, Tony was actually looking at him, green eyes locking into blue ones.

"What is it, Tony?"

"Uh, just wanted to let you know that, uhm, I don't really have a date tonight. I just wanted to… you know, keep McGee off my back. He's been, uhm, kind of suspicious what was going on with me, I think. Well, anyway, just wanted to let you know."

Gibbs couldn't help but feel relieved and almost desperately tried to keep the smile that was tugging at his lips from showing.

"What do you mean, get McGee off your back?"

Tony looked at him uncomfortably for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand.

"I don't know. I think he's just fishing but he noticed that you were, well, kind of nice to me the other day and wanted to know why. I brushed it off but I think he knows that something's up."

Gibbs just nodded but remained silent, knowing that he must have screwed up this time. He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked back up at Tony who was fidgeting ever so slightly.

"Okay then," Tony finally said as he realized that Gibbs wouldn't press the matter any further. "I'm going to go home… alone. See you Monday, I guess."

"Night, DiNozzo."

-x-

"Duck, you got a minute?"

Gibbs had been sitting at his desk a long time after DiNozzo had left, trying to figure out the mess. It wasn't until two hours had already passed that he realized he really needed to talk about it to someone who wasn't Tony. He simply needed another opinion. So, he had finally settled on Ducky because there really wasn't anyone else that he trusted enough with that kind of information. So he had made his way down to autopsy, where Ducky was luckily still working.

"Absolutely, Jethro. A drink, too?"

Gibbs just nodded and sat down on one of the metal tables, watching Ducky pour their drinks and then sit down on a revolving chair right in front of him.

"Cheers."

"So, what is that you want to talk about, Jethro?" Ducky asked once they had both taken a sip from their bourbon.

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments, pondering how to say it without leaving out what was important to him but not telling him what exactly or who exactly it was all about.

"Duck, do you think that there is only one person out there for you?"

Ducky tilted his head a bit to his right, staring back at him, furrowing a brow.

"I don't know, Jethro. But I'm sure there doesn't have to be only that one person."

"Even if you're not up to it? I mean, even if you don't want a second person to be there?"

"What brought this on, Jethro?"

Gibbs looked away again, not daring to look him into the eye this time. Instead, he sipped at his bourbon again, wondering why he had thought he needed to talk about this. This was clearly making things even more complicated. He remained silent again.

"Is this the reason why you have been tense all week? Even grumpier than usual?"

"I'm not grumpy," Gibbs retorted, realizing that he was at the exact moment. "Okay, maybe I was."

Ducky gave him a small smile before he continued.

"Have you fallen in love, my dear Jethro?"

"No!" Gibbs replied a bit too fast. "I mean, I don't know. I don't want to."

"And why is that?" Ducky prodded, his eyes boring into him.

Gibbs shook his head, trying to hide his insecurity. "I don't know, Duck. I really don't."

"Oh, bloody right, you know, Jethro. You're just afraid to admit it."

"Okay, let's say there might be, you know."

"Feelings?" the doctor said, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"Yeah, that," Gibbs replied, "I still couldn't follow through. I know I can't because I would still feel terrible."

"Jethro, is this about your late wife?"

Gibbs took a deep breath, sighed and then nodded sharply.

"Ah," Ducky dragged out the word before he sipped on his drink again. "And you're afraid to forget about her?"

"No, not particularly. I could never forget about her or Kelly. It's just, I have tried to replace her before and it just never worked out, you know."

"You don't say," the ME said now, a serious expression on his face. "Have you ever considered not replacing her and still be happy?"

Gibbs snorted. "And how am I supposed to do that?"

"If that other person is worth it, Jethro, he will understand. And you might not always show it but you have a big heart. I'm sure there's place for both of them in there. You can still love Shannon and love that other person just as equally. You just have to make it clear from the beginning so that your new one doesn't feel left out. You just have to be honest to him, Jethro."

Gibbs nodded, emptying the rest of his drink in one swig and jumped down the table.

"I'll think about it."

"You do that, I'm sure you'll make the right decision."

As Gibbs was halfway out the door, still letting Ducky's words sink in, he suddenly realized something and turned around again, staring at the doctor.

"Wait," he started, searching for Ducky's eyes. "Did you just say I have to be honest to _him_?"

"Why, yes, indeed I did."

Ducky gave him a knowing smile but then turned around, signaling him not to press the matter any further, so Gibbs dropped it and was about to leave the room as Ducky's voice traveled to his ears again.

"Don't wait too long, Jethro, we don't want to lose young Anthony, do we?"

Gibbs just shook his head and continued his walk to the elevators, wondering how in the world Ducky knew. He sighed again, thinking that another glass of bourbon and working on his boat would probably do him good tonight.

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, please ;) Reviews are always great! xD_


	11. Realizations and Conversations

_A/N: At the risk of repeating myself, I thank your for your awesome reviews and everything else :) You guys really are awesome! :) _

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Eleven: Realizations and Conversations<span>**

Gibbs had shortly thought about stopping by at Tony's apartment after the talk with Ducky but then he had realized that it was already well after midnight, so he had decided to just go home and work on the boat for a bit. He knew that he had probably made up his mind already about what he was going to do but that didn't mean he would follow through immediately – or at all. In fact, there was still one person he really needed to talk to before he would decide – once and for all, as Tony had phrased it.

And that was the reason why he was now standing in front of his wife and kid's grave early on Sunday morning.

"Hey Kells, hey Shan," he softly said, running his hands over both of their names engraved on the crosses. "Sorry that I didn't talk to you last time I was here. DiNozzo just really threw me a bit off course there – literally. I hope you don't mind him visiting you from time to time. He's really a great guy and I think you'd really like him. Obnoxious sometimes but at the same time funny, caring and a damn good agent – and friend. And I really hope I won't mess this up because one wrong word now and I'll lose that friendship, if I haven't already lost it… You know, I talked to Ducky yesterday and he told me that it is okay to open up to someone else, too. He said that it didn't have to mean to close you off and I really don't want to do that. You're still going to be my girls, nothing and no one will ever change that. I know I tried to keep you separate from my life before and it was a mistake all those years ago. I know that now and that's why it'll never happen again, I swear."

Gibbs stopped talking, looking around as he could have sworn that someone was watching him but he must have imagined it after all because no one was to be seen. He looked back at the graves again, still squatting in front of them and continued only above a whisper.

"I think I will give this thing with Tony a try. I have no clue how I'm supposed to do that because, yeah, well… I've known him for ten years now and I never even thought about kissing him or whatever. But I came to realize that I haven't felt like this since I had you with me. I admit that I'm afraid as hell because I still got no clue what to do exactly but I guess I'll figure it out, right? I never told you that but when we first met, Shan, on that train, I was just as afraid to mess it up, so I guess, it's kind of a good sign, right? I really hope so… anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're still my favorites, that I'm never going to forget about you two and even if Tony might be there now that's not going to change."

Gibbs stood up now, ignoring the stinging in his eyes, and was about to turn around and walk away before he stopped for a moment, whispered a "I love you" and then slowly walked back to his car.

He didn't really pay attention to his surroundings until he reached the parking lot and his eyes fell upon a familiar looking car. He narrowed his eyes and realized that it was Tony's Mustang and sure enough, there he was DiNozzo himself leaning against the rear end.

-x-

Tony looked up and saw Gibbs walking towards him, his expression unreadable to him. He had said before that he was allowed to visit, right? So, he couldn't possibly be mad at him now, could he? But why were his eyes boring into him now, as if they wanted to pierce him through and through?

Tony pushed himself off his car but didn't dare to approach the guy but Gibbs had picked up pace now anyhow and he was facing him soon enough.

"Hey Boss," Tony greeted him casually as if it was the most natural thing to meet him at the graveyard on a Sunday morning.

Gibbs merely nodded before he looked at him. "What are you doing here?"

Tony rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand before he answered. "I thought it was okay to come here?"

"Yeah, it is," Gibbs gruffly replied. "I meant _here_ in the parking lot."

"Oh," Tony started, staring down at his feet now. "I was on my way as I saw you there. Seemed like a, you know, kind of private conversation, so I thought I'd better wait here till you're finished."

Tony was now able to see a soft smile tugging at the corners of Gibbs' lips before he nodded sharply and took a step forward, entering Tony's personal space. Tony couldn't help but look into his boss' piercing blue eyes but this time he couldn't read them at all, so he concentrated on breathing evenly now, hoping that his pulse was only that loud in his ears.

"Listen, Tony," Gibbs finally started, clearing his throat. "Would you mind stopping by at my house today? I've got something to tell you."

Tony managed to nod once. "When?"

"You got time right now? But anytime would work…" Gibbs trailed off, his glance directed at something in the distance behind Tony.

"No, right now is fine. I'll just, uh, I don't want these to go to waste," Tony replied, holding up the two white roses in his left hand.

Gibbs stared at them for a moment as if he hadn't noticed them before, then nodded once again and took a step backwards.

"They're Kelly's favorite, you know."

Tony looked at him again and was just able to see Gibbs blink rapidly for a moment but then his expression was composed and neutral again.

"Hey, at least one thing, I've got right," Tony said, trying to lighten the tense calmness.

Apparently it worked as a slight smirk was appearing on Gibbs' lips now. Then, he turned around to walk to his own car without another word. Tony stood there for a moment, staring after him before he got into gear and quickly made its way through the cemetery. Arriving at his destination, he laid down the roses and kneeled down on the grass just staring at the crosses for a few minutes, trying to organize the thoughts that were swirling around in his head. He knew that whatever it was that Gibbs wanted to tell him was important. And it probably was what he wanted – once and for all. Tony didn't quite know whether or not he actually wanted to know. But he also knew that he had to step into the lion's den to get to know the truth. Sure, he could just not go there but that wouldn't help either. He had to know. His insides clenched for a moment, thinking about a negative outcome but he brushed the thought away. He'd worry when the time came.

"Wish me luck," he finally said out loud before he stood up and left Kelly and Shannon behind.

-x-

Gibbs heard the front door open and close again and took a deep breath before he left the kitchen. There he was standing, hands buried in the pockets of his coat, looking around uncomfortably – Tony. Gibbs tried to give him an encouraging smile but realized that he was apparently failing miserably as the haunted look on Tony's face just seemed to deepen as he looked right back at him. The older man gestured towards the living room and Tony led the way, sitting down on the couch.

"Beer?" Gibbs finally asked, just to say anything, really.

"Uh, it's not even noon, Boss."

"Yeah, right. Anything else, then?"

Tony just shook his head. "No, I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay."

Gibbs sat down on the recliner, facing Tony now, who was finally looking at him, though the strain had not yet vanished from his face. That by now familiar splinter of guilt appeared inside of him again, reminding him that he had really messed up before.

"Okay," Gibbs cleared his throat and averted his glance from Tony to look at his hands instead. "Listen, I'm sorry about the other night. I know I was out of line and I shouldn't have kissed you. I know it wasn't fair to you and I apologize for that."

"Okay," came out Tony's strangled voice and Gibbs still didn't dare to look at him.

"But it made me realize something because as you left, I felt… not right. I tried to fight against it. Really, I did but it turned out to be impossible. And I know, I'm probably too late now because I've been a complete idiot before and I give you great credit for even hearing me out now because I'm not so sure whether or not I even deserve that. But anyway," and now, Gibbs finally looked at Tony again, who was staring at him, eyes wide open, the green slightly brighter than usual. "I just… Ducky made me realize that I don't necessarily need to… forget or replace Shannon, you know."

Tony nodded now, the tension seemingly fading from him. "I know, Gibbs, and I never wanted you to forget about her or Kelly and god, I'd never want to replace her, either because that's not even possible. I know that."

It was Gibbs' turn to nod now but still, he couldn't help but feel ashamed to not have it realized earlier as Tony seemed to have gotten that idea ages ago.

"I'm sorry for… ah, hell, for everything."

"It's okay, Gibbs," Tony replied a smile finally tugging at his lips as he got up and came to a halt right in front of him.

Feeling small all of a sudden, Gibbs stood up himself and they were standing there now only inches away from each other, staring into each other's eyes again.

-x-

Tony still couldn't believe that Gibbs had apologized twice already. And he couldn't help but notice the tingly feeling that was spreading inside of him all of a sudden as Gibbs was mere inches away from him. Tony could just lean forward a tiny bit now and he would touch him. And he realized with a slight shock that he really wanted to, too. But he had to hear the guy out first. So, he just kept on staring into his blue eyes, waiting for him to continue.

"Do you think you're able to forget all the crap that I've put you through?" the older man finally started over and without waiting for an answer he continued only above a whisper. "I've been an idiot for pushing you away. And I have no clue, what to do now but do you think, there's a chance…"

Tony felt his own lips twitching as he realized what Gibbs was about to say and (and what was possibly even better) that his boss actually didn't know what to say, for once just waiting for his approval.

Tony stepped a tiny bit forward and took Gibbs' hand in his before he leaned into him and brushed his lips against his. He felt him tense up for a moment before he relaxed again and kissed him back – softly and almost unsure.

Tony broke away from him far too soon even for himself but he really needed to know one more thing.

"Are you sure you want this? Sure you want me?"

Gibbs looked at him for a moment before he intertwined his fingers with Tony's and nodded sincerely.

"Yes, Tony. That's what I want."

Tony flashed him a smile, feeling a weird sensation in his gut (but those couldn't possibly be those often-cited butterflies, could it?) and just continued to look him into the eyes. At that moment, he wouldn't even have minded to stand there for the rest of the day, just holding hands with _Gibbs_, just looking at him.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Gibbs finally cleared his throat and looked away from him, still not able to contain that smile upon his face.

"So what now?" he asked.

Tony let out a laugh. "You know what, I have no clue whatsoever. But we'll figure it out, right?"

"We'd better."

* * *

><p><em>AN: I hope you liked this chapter and I hope Gibbs is not too OOC, as I found him kinda hard to write this time... let me know what you think, reviews are always great ;)_


	12. Jets and Bonds

_A/N: And once again, I'm kinda speechless due to the overwhelming response to those last chapters. So awesome :) I hope you keep on reading and like the next part, too :)_

Disclaimer: I still don't own NCIS, nor James Bond, nor the quote from James Bond: Goldfinger.

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twelve: Jets and Bonds <span>**

"_So what now?" Gibbs asked._

_Tony let out a laugh. "You know what, I have no clue whatsoever. But we'll figure it out, right?"_

"_We'd better."_

Tony gave him a broad smile before he sat down on the couch again, patting on the space right next to him. Gibbs followed suit, sitting down close to him but yet not quite touching. Tony looked at him for a moment, content that Gibbs was still smiling which made him relax even further. Maybe this would work after all. But Tony hadn't lied before, he really didn't know how to proceed from here. He had never been with a man and this was _Gibbs_, and he really didn't want that to screw up – ever.

"So," Tony started now, still staring into Gibbs' blue orbs.

"Yeah," the older man replied, a slight smirk on his lips.

"We're going to take it slow, right? I mean… with everything?"

"Yeah," Gibbs said again and then looked down for a moment, taking Tony's hand in his.

"You're gonna say something else than 'Yeah' at some point, right?" Tony inquired, a grin on his face.

"Yeah."

"Oh, come on! You have to give me something here."

Gibbs let out a laugh before he leaned in and quickly kissed Tony's cheek, leaving him all fuzzy inside again.

"No, but seriously, slow it is, right? I mean we both don't have any experience with this, with being with a man." As he saw Gibbs nod, Tony continued. "I mean I've kissed a few guys back in college but mostly I was just really drunk or it was like on a dare and stuff."

"It was college," Gibbs replied.

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a few moments, just looking at each other, both of them apparently lost in their own worlds. It wasn't uncomfortable though, Tony thought, it was one of these moments with Gibbs when you just know not to say anything. That apparently hadn't changed despite all the other things that were going on. After a while though, Gibbs cleared his throat and averted his glance from Tony, breaking their eye contact. But he was still clutching his hand and the younger man subtly shook his head as if thoughts would reach his mind better that way.

"So, you told Ducky about this?"

Gibbs turned around sharply before he shook his head.

"No, not really. I went to talk to him but I never mentioned it was you I was thinking about. But he knew anyway, I've got no idea how but he knew. I swear he's omniscient sometimes."

Tony let out a laugh. "And here I thought that was you. Did you two take a course, or…"

Tony was rudely interrupted by a softer than usual slap upside his head.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "One of these days I'm going to hit you back, you know."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, grinning broadly. "You wouldn't dare."

Tony wiggled his eyebrows before he softly poked Gibbs' arm. "See?"

"I guess I can live with that."

Tony smiled at him again and for a fleeting moment he thought that he'd have sore muscles in his cheeks if he kept on flashing smile after smile at Gibbs.

"Can you live with that, too?" Tony asked as he leaned forwards and brushed his lips against the older man's.

Once again, he felt the other man's soft and warm lips on his and Tony cupped his hand behind Gibbs' head, drawing the man even closer. Tony's tongue was shortly tracing his lips before their tongues met up with each other. They were brushing against each other now and Tony all but savored the feel, and the touch, and the warmth that seemed to radiate from the guy. They ended the kiss far too soon for Tony's taste but as he opened his eyes which had fluttered close with the first contact of their lips, he saw Gibbs smiling at him.

"Slow, right?"

Tony only nodded again, trying to get his thoughts organized.

"So, uh, where were we? Ah, right, Ducky."

"What about him?"

"What did he say? Is he okay with this? With us?"

"I think so. And don't worry I'm sure he won't tell anybody."

Tony nodded thoughtfully. Actually, he hadn't even thought about what others might think.

"So, you want to keep this a secret? Don't want to tell the team?"

He saw Gibbs shrug, clearly uncomfortable now.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know. I mean at some point, yeah, I plan to tell them but maybe we should first, you know, get used to each other, get this thing sorted out?"

"Exactly what I was thinking."

-x-

Once again, comfortable silence settled between them and Gibbs leaned back into the cushions of his couch, thinking hard. Maybe this was easier than he had imagined. Tony seemed to be completely at ease now and their thoughts were seemingly in total sync. What exactly had he been afraid of before?

"Hey Boss?"

"I'm no boss here, Tony."

Tony looked at him again, a soft smile playing on his lips, his eyes sparkling.

"Do I get to call you Jethro now?"

Gibbs let out a snort, then nodded. The younger man was still staring at him, apparently thinking hard about something.

"But Jethro doesn't sound right."

"What do you mean, it doesn't sound right? That's my name, Tony."

"No, actually it isn't. It's Leroy. Leeee-roy. Nah, we're no Beverly Hillbillies. Sorry. Hmm…" Tony was running his fingers through his hair now, that grin still on his lips. "What about LJ? But your dad calls you that, right? So, I guess that's out of the equation, too."

"Tony," Gibbs grumbled, realizing that it could only go downwards from there.

"Yes, Jeth?"

Gibbs felt his stomach suddenly give a jolt at the name. Nobody had called him like that in twenty years and he felt himself stiffen as he quickly averted his glance from Tony now, trying not to let the emotions that were suddenly flooding him show. He felt the other man's eyes on him but didn't turn instead he was staring at his own hands now.

"Shannon called you Jeth, didn't she?" Tony's softly asked, putting a hand on his thigh.

Gibbs felt himself nod once.

"Okay then," Tony continued, slightly increasing the pressure on his thigh. "What about Jet then? Jet's cool."

Finally, Gibbs dared to look at him, surprised at how Tony had reacted, like it didn't bother him at all. Or maybe it actually wasn't bothering him? Gibbs knew that all his ex-wives had never gotten over the fact that he had been hiding something that important from them. Ducky's words came into his mind again. Maybe he was right, if he wanted this thing with Tony to work, he'd have to open up to him, one thing that he had never done with his exes...

But what astonished him even more at the moment was that Tony seemed to accept Shannon's presence and even more so, he apparently was willing to embrace that presence, was willing to make her part of that relationship with him. Gibbs felt a sudden rush of emotions coming over him again and he blinked rapidly as he realized that tears were already stinging his eyes.

"Hey," Tony's quiet voice reached his ears as he took Gibbs' hand into his again. "You alright?"

Gibbs nodded once and was now able to see concern written all over the younger man's face.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just… sometimes when a memory of Shannon or Kelly hits me unprepared, I…" he trailed off, not really sure of what to say.

"It's okay," Tony smiled at him. "If you ever want to talk about them or if I say something that bothers you just tell me."

"I will."

"So, what do you think of Jet, then? Or do you prefer some other name?"

Gibbs let out a laugh again, wondering for a moment how Tony was able to turn around his mood in mere seconds.

"No, Jet's alright with me."

"Awesome."

Beaming, Tony leaned back into the couch, still holding Jet's hand, absent-mindedly tracing patterns on the back of his hand with his thumb.

"So, what do we do with the rest of the day? Are you busy or would you like to hang out?"

"Hang out sounds good. What do you want to do?"

Tony shrugged now. "I'd normally just watch a movie but I highly doubt you have a dvd-player somewhere around here."

"Actually, I do," Jet smirked as he saw the surprise in the other man's eyes.

"You don't say. What movies do you have?"

"Not many, some James Bond."

Excitedly, Tony had sat up again, smiling broadly at him. "Shocking! Positively shocking!" he said then in a gruesome fake English accent.

"I take it, you want to watch it?" Gibbs smirked at the excitement that was all but radiating from Tony now.

"Hell, yeah."

With a quick peck on Tony's lips, Jet stood up and rummaged through the drawer of the TV stand. Finally, he found what he was looking for and held up the dvd-player that was still in the original packaging.

Tony snorted once again as he stood up and took the package from him and opened it, looking at the content.

"Who gave you this?"

"McGee. Apparently, he thought I'd have a use for it."

"Well, you do now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess, I do."

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><p><em>AN: That any good? Let me know what you think! xD_


	13. Steaks and Sheets

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, keep them coming because they seriously always make my day! Thanks :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirteen: Steaks and Sheets<span>**

Tony stirred in his sleep, wondering what in the world he had done to his back as it was hurting like after a wrestling match with Ziva. Grudgingly, he opened his eyes and was momentarily confused about where he was. He rubbed his eyes and then finally realized that he was still half sitting, half lying on Gibbs' couch. Right, Gibbs... No, Jet. He smiled to himself before he looked around but he was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone to bed at some point, then. Tony glanced at his watch for a moment and wondered how it could already be 0530 in the morning. He yawned and sat up completely, letting the afternoon and evening pass in front of his inner eye.

Jet and he had watched two James Bond movies before they had decided to order pizza and go down to the basement to work, respectively watch, on the boat. They hadn't talked all that much but Tony hadn't minded at all because the way the other man had looked at him every other minute or so, always a hint of a smile on his face, the way his blue eyes were all but sparkling and the numerous times that he just had given him a short kiss was all that Tony had needed.

He subtly shook his head as he got up, stretching himself. He didn't remember falling asleep but he knew that he had been pretty comfortable there, watching some basketball match together with Jet just holding hands. He still kind of couldn't comprehend what had happened that Sunday. Jet had actually told him that he wanted to try and though Tony was petrified about messing it up, petrified about actually being with him, he couldn't repress that tingly happy feeling in his gut because maybe this would work after all, maybe this was exactly what he had been missing all those years.

Sighing, he slipped into his coat and looked around for a piece of paper, internally cursing himself that he had no overnight bag lying in his car.

_Jet_, he wrote, _headed home to change. See ya at work :)_

He briefly wondered whether Jet would actually get what the smiley meant and smirked. Probably not, but then he had at least something to think about. With one last look around, making sure that he got everything, he left through the front door.

-x-

Gibbs sat at his desk, flipping through some case files, trying his best to contain the smile that just wouldn't vanish from his face. He had nodded a good morning to Ziva and McGee and ever since then had concentrated on reading, not quite able to repress the thoughts about the day before. He had been slightly disappointed that Tony hadn't been there in the morning but then again, he had been the one who had abandoned him on the couch because his back wouldn't have survived another night on his not so comfortable couch. Plus, Tony had been right of course, they wouldn't want to act too suspiciously in front of the others by coming into work together…

"Good morning Zee-vah, McGoo," Tony's loud and apparently content voice traveled through the bullpen, causing Gibbs to look up for a moment.

Tony was wearing one of his black suits, a big smile on his face as he nodded curtly at Gibbs. He felt his lips twitch for a moment and quickly looked away again, wondering what in the world was wrong with him. He had to keep those smiles in check or McGee and Ziva would catch up far too soon.

"You are chippy today," Ziva observed now, apparently amused by Tony's good mood.

"The term is chipper, Zi. But yes, I am."

"And why is that?" she probed, standing up to walk over to his desk.

"Just because," Tony replied and Jet could almost hear the smile on his face. "I had a really nice Sunday, that's all."

Jet looked up again, for a brief moment catching Tony's eyes before the younger man turned his attention back to the Israeli who was eyeing him suspiciously.

"You did get laid last night, yes?" she smirked.

"Not that it's any of your business but I didn't."

Apparently, slightly taken aback, Ziva shortly glanced at McGee who had been following the conversation with a slight smirk on his lips.

"She must be really something special then," he chimed in now, causing Tony to shrug.

"A gentleman never tells."

"Since when do you not tell?" McGee retorted and Tony was just about to reply as Gibbs had finally had enough.

"Don't you have any work to do? Should I find you some?"

"Right, sorry, Boss," it came from all the three agents as they immediately continued with their paper work.

-x-

"DiNozzo, I need you to rewrite your report on the Armstrong case, it was not as detailed as I remember it."

Tony dropped his backpack, which he had just grabbed seconds before, to the ground, sighed and tried to ignore the smirk on Ziva and McGee's faces as they headed out for the night. He ran his fingers through his hair and was about to open up the document again as he heard his boss clear his throat, causing him to look at him.

Gibbs had stood up and was now slowly walking towards his desk, not quite smiling but yet not looking as grim as Tony had anticipated after the gruff order only moments before. Gibbs quickly looked at the elevators, as if to make sure that Ziva and McGee had already vanished. Then, the truth dawned upon Tony. He had actually made sure they were out of sight and earshot.

"My report's just fine, isn't it?"

Jet curtly nodded. "You free tonight?"

This time it was Tony's turn to nod, already picturing himself sitting on Jet's couch again, their fingers interlaced, kissing the guy and he felt himself blush all of a sudden.

"Good. Wanna go out to dinner?"

"With you?"

"No, with the director. Of course with me, DiNozzo."

Tony smirked at him for a moment. "Wait, are you taking me out on a date?"

Jet rolled his eyes and then leaned in a little bit before he all but whispered. "You know we can't actually go on a date, right?"

"Yeah, crystal," Tony replied, smiling at him. "But still, works for me. So, do I have to suit up or is casual attire required?"

"Ya think I'd _suit up_?"

Tony shrugged. "Guess not but then again, I hadn't expected you to invite me to dinner, either."

"Never said I'd pay," Jet replied smirking as he turned around to sit at his desk again. "I'll pick you up at eight."

-x-

They were sitting at a table in Jet's favorite steak house, each of them a beer in front of them. Though Jet would never say it out loud, Tony was looking stunning tonight. He hadn't seen him out of his usual suits but still dressed up in quite some time that he had almost forgotten how good he was looking in jeans and a simple button-down shirt.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tony's clearly amused voice brought him back into the present.

"Am I not allowed to look at you?"

"You are. I like it, too."

Jet subtly shook his head but once again couldn't help the smile on his face and he felt tempted to take Tony's hand that was lying on the table into his. But he couldn't do that, could he? And hell, since when was he one to be like that in public anyway? He hadn't done that ever since… right, Shannon, of course. He sighed again, wondering why this, all of this, just felt so right and so easy. They hadn't been talking about anything in particular ever since he had picked up Tony but not once there had been some kind of uncomfortable silence. And Tony's usual babbling had had nothing to do with it.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"About?" Tony probed and Jet felt the younger man's foot suddenly rub against his right calf.

He looked him into the eyes now and saw the green sparkle in them.

"Nothing, really. This is just nice."

"It is, isn't it?" Tony flashed his smile and Jet once again felt the almost overwhelming urge to grab his hand. "I could get used to it."

"Yeah, me, too."

-x-

"Well, thanks for dinner," Tony said sitting next to Jet in his car.

They had arrived at his apartment a few moments earlier and Tony already felt colder at the mere thought of having to leave the car – and Jet. Or was there any chance that the guy would actually come up with him? And why was he suddenly feeling all nervous like a teenager before his first kiss? Maybe he'd just have to ask…

"Wanna come up with me for a cup of coffee?"

Jet turned around to look at him, a grin on his face.

"Wow, that came out wrong," Tony hurried to say, realizing that he had just used what was easily the worst pick up line ever. "I was really offering you coffee."

The older man let out a laugh before he nodded. "Coffee sounds good."

Once in the apartment, Tony had stepped into the kitchen and was just about to prepare the promised beverage as he felt the other man's presence right behind him and he was already half expecting a slap upside his head. However, it never came. Instead, he was able to feel Jet's breath on the back of his neck, leaving goose bumps in its wake. Tony shivered slightly and leaned backwards a bit. Jet's hands were suddenly on his hips and then, he felt the other man's lips softly trailing kisses down his neck. Tony was humming quietly now, leaning into Jet's touch even more, the coffee completely forgotten. He then turned around and cupped both of his hands behind the guy's head, pressing their lips together. A soft moan escaped Jet as Tony tasted tentatively with his tongue, causing Jet to open his mouth and let him in.

The kiss soon became more intense and Jet's hands were roaming up and down Tony's back now, drawing him even closer, pressing their chests together tightly. Tony moaned now, letting the other man explore his mouth with his tongue. But then all of a sudden, Jet broke the kiss and backed away, slightly panting.

"That's not exactly taking it slow," he stated, rubbing his hand over his face.

"You're right," Tony replied, smiling at him. "You came here for coffee, so you shall get coffee."

With that he turned around, trying to focus on the task at hand and not on his ragged breathing or the pictures that suddenly came flying into his mind that really didn't help with the whole taking-it-slow-thing.

-x-

They had settled on the couch to watch some movie but Jet wasn't really paying attention, not that it was easy anyway with Tony talking through it half the time. He had been quiet though for the last couple of minutes and only now did Jet realize that the younger man had fallen asleep. His feet were up on the coffee table, his left arm on Jet's thigh and his head lying upon his shoulder. Jet smiled to himself as he placed a soft kiss on the other man's hair, pondering to wake him up to send him to bed. It was a work night after all and a tired and cranky DiNozzo was not the best agent to work with.

"Hey sleepyhead," he whispered into his ear, "time to go to bed."

Tony blinked until he focused on him and a smile appeared on his face.

"You staying?" He asked, only just suppressing a yawn.

"I don't think I want to crash on your couch, Tony."

"Then come to bed. Come on, I've got fresh sheets and all."

"Hoped to get lucky tonight, did you?"

"Well, I always do on the first date."

Gibbs snorted and delivered a soft head slap, causing the grin on the younger man's to broaden even wider.

"No, seriously, I promise to behave. Wearing PJs and everything."

Jet thought about it for a moment but couldn't come with a legitimate reason why not to stay the night.

"Okay."

"Awesome," Tony replied enthusiastically, jumping up from the couch and reached out his hand to take Jet's and all but dragged him into the bedroom.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be dope xD_


	14. Sneaky Feelings

A/N: _Thanks again for your reviews :) This is so far the story with the most reviews, most story alerts and most favorites for me and it's not even close to be finished. You're so aweseome, I can't even begin to tell you xD Thanks a lot! :)_

_Also, I'd like to add that the M-Rating is there for a reason as you'll see in this chapter (and please bear with me, it's my first time writing smut xD)  
><em>

Disclaimer: Still don't own _NCIS_ or the allusions to _Harry Potter_ and _Limitless_.

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Fourteen: Sneaky Feelings<span>**

Jet woke up due Tony stirring in his arms without actually waking up. Tony turned around so that his back was facing him now and Jet scooted closer and without thinking about what he was doing wrapped his arm around the younger man's waist. Gibbs shortly squinted at the alarm clock and was relieved to see that it was only shortly after four in the morning and he could easily sleep two more hours with Tony wrapped in his arms. Contently, Jet sighed, slid even closer to him and was just about to close his eyes as Tony stirred again and apparently unconsciously leaned backwards into him, causing Jet to suddenly feel hyperaware of the fact that Tony's ass was far too close to his groin. He felt his cock twitch in anticipation and chuckled silently to himself. So that was probably the answer to his question whether he would be able to…

His train of thought was interrupted by a low humming coming from Tony as his hand was suddenly upon Jet's. He propped himself up on his right hand now and leaned forwards a bit, trailing soft kisses down Tony's neck.

"Hmm," Tony just let out before he turned around so that he was lying on his back, green eyes locking into blue ones.

Jet felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he looked at the slightly surprised expression on Tony's face before he leaned down and kissed first his cheek and then the left corner of his mouth. It wasn't long before Tony's hand grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt, pulling him down and pressed his lips hard against the older man's. A surprised moan slipped out of Jet's mouth, causing Tony to chuckle this time before he pulled Gibbs even closer. Jet was lying on top of him now and for a fleeting moment, he wondered how that had happened but then, Tony fumbled on the hem of Jet's shirt and he felt himself shiver as his fingers traced over his skin, just above the waistband of his boxer shorts. Tony quickly got rid of Jet's shirt now, throwing it to the floor and was just about to sit up as far as he could to kiss him again but Jet forcefully pushed him back into the bed, attacking his neck with his lips again, leaving him squirming and groaning underneath him.

"Feels so good, Jet."

Gibbs sat up for a moment and pulled Tony's t-shirt over his head and it soon joined Jet's on the floor. Tony's hands were suddenly on his thighs and Jet briefly wondered if Tony could hear the pounding of his heart, too, so loud it seemed to be. The younger man's hands were running up and down his thighs now with every time nearing his cock a bit more. Jet groaned again before he leaned forward and kissed his way down Tony's neck and chest, finally stopping at his right nipple, flicking out his tongue and licking small circles around the nub, causing Tony to moan again deep from his chest and Jet wrapped his lips around it completely, drawing it into his mouth.

-x-

"God," was all that Tony managed to get out as he involuntarily thrust up his hips against the other man's and realized with some satisfaction that he was just as hard against him as he was.

His hand was now trailing down Jet's chest to the waistband of his boxers again but this time he didn't stop there instead he let it slip down only a little deeper and grazed Jet's cock slightly, causing the other man to momentarily abandon his actions as he thrust against Tony.

"Screw slow, right?" Tony breathed out now and Jet nodded, his eyes closing.

Just as Tony reached up again, cupping the neck of the other man's face with his hand, he was rudely interrupted by Gibbs' cell ringing. Tony groaned and was about to let go of Jet but he wouldn't let him instead he leaned down, kissing him once again, his tongue exploring his mouth. The ringing ceased eventually and Tony sighed inwardly because he didn't want this to end – ever. And Jet had already kissed his way down his chest and stomach once again when Elvis Costello's _My aim is true_ suddenly was in the air and Tony saw his phone vibrating on the nightstand beside them.

"Damn it," Gibbs said and let go of Tony, rolling himself on his back as Tony grabbed the phone.

"Yeah, DiNozzo."

"_Sorry for the early hour but you got a new case. Dead sailor in Bethesda. I'm sending you the information right now,"_ the guy from dispatch said.

"Yeah, okay, thanks."

With that Tony hung up and sighed as he got out of bed.

"Case?" Gibbs asked now, following suit, searching for his shirt.

"Yeah, in Bethesda."

Gibbs let out a laugh, running his fingers through his hand and just as Tony was about to ask what was so funny, Jet closed the distance between them and placed a soft kiss on his left cheek.

"Maybe this is NCIS' way to tell us to actually take it slow, huh?"

Tony chuckled. "Guess so," then added in an afterthought. "And no time for a cold shower. How am I supposed to live through the day?"

Jet laughed again, grinding his groin against Tony's.

"And that's supposed to help how?" Tony grinned, his arms on Jet's hips again.

"Not at all. Come on, now. Work's calling."

"Yeah," Tony sighed, slipping into his shirt, trying to will down his erection and to get into work mode.

-x-

They had driven separately to the crime scene, knowing that it might be just a tad suspicious if they arrived in the same car. Tony had briefly wondered how it was possible for Jet – no, Gibbs – to get into work mode so quickly. Tony had still hung in thoughts all the way to Bethesda and had almost forcefully tried to think about something disgusting (which ended up as one of Vance's toothpicks) just to forget Jet's touch all over his body. But as soon as he had seen Gibbs barking orders at McGee, who looked as if he was straight out of bed (which he probably was, too), and Ziva, who was looking just like every day (but then again, she had probably gotten up that early in the morning for a run or something anyway), Tony had quickly been able to pull on his mask of being annoyed about the early hour, annoyed about Gibbs and annoyed about the world in general.

It wasn't until they were nearly done at the crime scene that Tony saw McGee and Ziva whisper to each other. Slowly, he approached them from behind, trying to be stealth about it but Ziva, ninja that she was, heard him of course and turned around, a slight smile on her face.

"What are you guys gossiping about?" Tony asked, standing in between them.

McGee looked at Ziva for a moment, then at Gibbs and back at Ziva.

"Well, uh, we were just wondering where the boss was before he came here."

Tony felt his insides freeze and his breath hitched in his throat for a moment before he reminded himself to breathe. They surely didn't suspect anything or they wouldn't be talking to him, right? Tony took a deep breath and tried to look as neutral as he could manage with his pulse rushing loudly through his ears.

"Why?" he finally mustered up the courage to speak.

"You really didn't notice?"

"Notice what, McGoggle?"

"Look at what he is wearing," Ziva chimed in now, her voice slightly irritated. "I thought you of all people would notice a different style in clothing."

"And what is that supposed to mean now?" Tony replied but before Ziva could answer he had averted his glance from her and was looking at Gibbs before he slightly shook his head.

Tony wondered how he could have missed it that whole damn evening sitting across from him in the restaurant, how he could have missed it that whole damn night snuggling into him. Gibbs was wearing jeans that actually fit him, not like the usual ones at work that were just a bit too baggy. But what startled Tony the most (and not just because he hadn't noticed it before but also because the man was looking freaking hot in it) was the black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up now, revealing his toned forearms.

"Ah, I see," he slowly said now, trying to avoid looking into either Tim or Ziva's eyes. "Well, maybe he had a hot date."

He chuckled soundlessly to himself. It actually had been a _really_ hot date. He banished the thoughts out of his mind because he really had to keep a clear head. Maybe he'd need a C_lear Pill_ soon, if his mind would drift off like that at work…

"With whom?" McGee interrupted his train of thought.

"How am I supposed to know? But I bet it's a redhead."

"Probably," Ziva replied just as Gibbs waved at them to finally get moving.

-x-

Gibbs impatiently waited for the elevator that would bring him down to autopsy. He had been talking to Abby for the last couple of minutes and he was in a desperate need of another coffee. Finally, the doors opened and revealed Tony leaning against the far wall, his eyes closed. Gibbs stepped in, pressed the button to autopsy and waited a few seconds before he flicked the emergency switch.

It was when Tony finally opened his eyes and turned to look at him, apparently taking in every single inch of his body.

"Oh hey, Boss," he said then nonchalantly as if he hadn't just given him an once-over. "Have I told you that I really dig your shirt?"

Jet chuckled ever so slightly. "And here I thought, you hadn't noticed."

"Well, actually," Tony hesitantly started, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "McGee and Ziva did."

Gibbs felt his eyebrow shoot up and stared at Tony. "What do you mean, they have noticed?"

"I wouldn't worry about it. They just, you know, noticed that you looked different. They thought you were out with a redhead or something. Or maybe I told them you probably were."

"Did you, now?"

"Hmm," Tony only replied, stepping forward and softly kissed the corner of Jet's mouth.

Jet first kissed him back for a moment before he pulled away again, even if it was against his own will.

"Tony," he all but groaned then. "We can't do this at work."

"I know," Tony grinned. "Just wanted to get it out of my system."

Gibbs just shook his head and pressed the emergency button again. As the car slowly made its way downwards, he couldn't help but place a soft slap upside Tony's head. The younger man grinned at him just as the doors opened up to autopsy.

-x-

Just as Tony and Gibbs were halfway through the door, the older man's cell started to ring and after a few 'yeahs' and 'hmms', Jet took a step backwards.

"McGee and Ziva might have found something. You go talk to Ducky and then come back up as soon as possible."

"On it, Boss."

With that, Tony continued his way into autopsy. Ducky was standing near the corpse of Petty Officer Neil Hawkins and quietly talked to him.

"What do you got, Duck?" Tony asked, trying his best to imitate Gibbs.

"Pretty good, Anthony," Ducky turned around smiling at him. "But I'm afraid I cannot tell you anything at this point besides that Young Neil seems to be in perfect health except for, well, that he is dead."

"Sounds like the Riddles," Tony said now, looking at the dead man in front of him thoughtfully as if he would notice something that Ducky had overseen.

"Yes, indeed."

"So, you got nothing? I bet Gibbs will be thrilled to hear that," Tony replied, running his fingers through his hair.

"Tell him, I'm working on it, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Are we talking about the same Gibbs, Ducky?"

"Well, he seems to be in a much better mood these days, doesn't he?"

Tony turned to look at him, tilting his head ever so slightly and gave the older man a small smile.

"Ya think?" he asked then, once again trying to imitate Gibbs.

"I know, Anthony."

Tony let out a laugh as he realized what Ducky was trying to do.

"I won't tell you anything, Ducky."

"That is all I wanted to hear, my dear boy. Now off you go, so that we can proceed with our work."

"Yeah, right," Tony replied, still laughing as made his way out of autopsy.

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><p><em>AN: What do you think? ;-) Reviews would be rad._


	15. Something Special

_A/N: At the risk of repeating myself (again and again), thanks for your continuous feedback. I love every single one of your reviews, keep them coming :)_

_Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS, Ghostbusters or anything, really. xD_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Fifteen: Something Special<span>**

Tony was sitting at his desk, rubbing his temples, trying to get rid of the headache that was forming right beneath them. It was shortly after ten o'clock at night and he was in a desperate need of a break. Their investigation had gone nowhere as of now and Tony was slowly getting frustrated. The day had started so good just to turn out into one of those days where you could do no good, see no end. At least Ducky and Abby had finally determined the cause of death. Apparently, the murderer had used some sort of poison (he had already forgotten the name as soon as it had left Abby's lips) that was almost impossible to trace and that killed you only minutes after being injected.

Tony stifled another yawn and tried to focus on the computer screen in front of him but as hard as he tried, he simply couldn't concentrate anymore.

"Let's call it a night, people."

He looked up surprised but he had apparently heard right as Ziva and McGee all but sprang up to gather their gear. Gibbs was still sitting at his desk though, the, what must be the at least 20th, coffee in front of him, staring blankly at a file in front of him.

"You not coming, Boss?" Tony asked now, while shutting down his computer.

McGee and Ziva stopped for a short moment, ostensibly pondering to stay in the office, too, but right at that moment, McGee yawned widely and as if on cue both of them turned around again and walked towards the elevators.

Tony grabbed his backpack and slowly walked over to Gibbs' desk, slightly tilting his head to read the papers lying on the boss' desk.

"Come on, go home, too. I doubt that even Leroy Jethro Gibbs can find anything else tonight."

Gibbs looked up now, fatigue clearly visible on his face. "You sure about that?"

"Positive. Just think about how much more annoying Ziva and McGee will be tomorrow if you haven't gotten any sleep."

A soft smile appeared on Gibbs' features now before he answered. "Just Ziva and McGee, huh?"

"Of course, 'cause I'm never annoying," Tony replied grinning and saw with satisfaction that Gibbs was closing his files now and reached for his gun and badge in his drawer.

Tony followed him into the elevator, already dreaming of his bed and a movie and a good night's sleep with maybe…

"Hey Jet, can I interest you in a flick tonight?"

Jet looked at him for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly thinking hard about the proposal.

"I don't know, Tony. I really am tired like hell."

"I know. Me, too. But it's just a movie and I even got a TV in my bedroom. I promise to behave. Boy Scout's Honor."

Jet released a tired laugh before he nodded.

"I have to get back to your place anyway."

Tony raised an eyebrow as Jet started to unbutton the first two buttons of his shirt to reveal a gray OSU-shirt.

"Gotta give that back to you, don't I?"

"Yeah, you sure have to," Tony grinned, "it's one of my favorites, too."

"Then you shouldn't have lent it to me to sleep in last night."

Tony just shrugged. "Well, if you refuse to come across with it later, I'll be forced to remove it from you."

"Didn't you just promise to behave tonight?" Jet replied, a smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, well, I've never been a Boy Scout, so what do I know about that kind of thing?"

Jet let out a laugh again just as the elevator door opened to the garage.

"See ya in a bit, then."

-x-

Jet had made a quick stop at his house, packing an overnight bag before continuing his journey to Tony's apartment. He could barely believe that it only been that morning when he had woken up with Tony in his arms for the first time. He had to admit that he really was tired and all he could think of was sleeping but still he felt himself getting more and more excited with every mile that he was getting closer to his destination…

Jet knocked once and it didn't take long before Tony opened the door, already wearing sweats and a black t-shirt.

"Hey," he just said before he leaned forward and gave Jet a quick peck on his lips. "You're prepared, I see," he said then, pointing at the overnight bag.

"Yeah, we don't want to lead on McGee and Ziva, right? That poor redhead, I'm dating."

Tony laughed and finally let him in, gesturing towards his bedroom.

"Everything's already set. Movie, popcorn, pillows. You just have to get into bed and enjoy yourself."

Jet shook his head, wondering where Tony's energy came from all of a sudden but he followed Tony's orders, all but threw his bag into one corner of the bedroom and then came to a halt. The other man had already settled down, leaning against the headboard of the bed, remote in his right hand and with the left one feeding himself with popcorn.

"You just want to stand there uncomfortably all night or do you want to watch a movie with me already?"

Once again, he shook his head before he unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it to the floor. He hesitated for a moment before he got rid of his jeans, too and then climbed into bed next to Tony, slipping under the covers.

"Good boy," Tony praised him.

"Did you just say _good boy_ to me?" Jet chuckled and helped himself to some popcorn.

"I might have," Tony flashed him another smile and Jet couldn't help but notice the sparkle in the younger man's eye.

"So, I decided that we have to watch _Ghostbusters_ because I still can't believe you recognized it last week."

"But you've just seen it and I really don't care what movie we watch, Tony."

Tony shrugged at that. "Couldn't concentrate on it, had other stuff on my mind," he shortly glanced at him before he continued. "You like it, right, otherwise you wouldn't have known about it in the first place?"

"Sure, let's just watch it."

"Awesome."

-x-

Tony smiled to himself as he switched off the television and turned off the lights. Jet had fallen asleep about half an hour ago and was now lying flat on his back, his mouth slightly open, snoring quietly. All fears, all worries seemed to have left him as soon as he was dead asleep and his face was showing it. Hell, Jet even looked peaceful and years younger now and Tony softly brushed the hair from his forehead and then leaned down to give him a soft kiss on his right temple before he laid down himself. He was tired like hell but still he couldn't quite find the right frame of mind to actually fall asleep. He just couldn't stop looking at the older man's face that was slightly illuminated by the street lamp right outside the window. Tony still couldn't believe that this was for real, that _Gibbs_ was right next to him in his bed. Not some chick he had picked up at a bar but someone who actually meant something to him and a lot at that. Right at that moment, Tony didn't even care what would happen as long as he would still be able to look at him like that at the end of all days to come.

Tony sighed, had he actually just thought about the possibility of going to sleep with Gibbs every night? And why wasn't the usual panic starting to rise in his throat at the mere thought of spending more than a few weeks with someone? Maybe it was because he had known the guy for ten years now, maybe it was because he literally couldn't imagine his life without him – be it as boss, friend or whatever this was right now. Granted, they still hadn't talked about lots of stuff that was important. Hell, Tony still didn't know whether this whole thing would even have a chance to work out the way he wanted it to because they were like literally plunging into the great unknown here.

He grinned to himself for a moment. At least, the question about the sex was no longer an issue. Clearly, both of them hadn't had any problems that morning – at all. They would figure it out for sure, just as they hopefully would be able to sort out all the other things.

"You're thinking too loud," Jet's sleepy voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Right, sorry."

Jet snuggled closer to him now, his head resting on Tony's chest. "Night, Tony."

"Night."

-x-

Gibbs all but sent out a prayer as after long and stressful six days they had finally found the killer of Petty Officer Hawkins. Gibbs had made him confess an hour earlier and since then had talked to Vance about the case which had turned out to be more exhausting than the interrogation itself. After Gibbs had stepped out of the director's office, he leaned against the stair rail for a moment, looking over the bullpen where Tony, Ziva and McGee were huddled around McGee's desk talking about something in hushed voices.

For a moment, Gibbs' glance rested on Tony's body before he forcefully averted his eyes from him. They had barely had the chance to talk all week and even though they had stayed over at each other's houses every single night, they had not done much other than take a shower, climb into bed and immediately fall asleep. And despite the fact that they hadn't spoken to each other on a personal level much, hadn't done more than kissing each other good night and morning, Gibbs couldn't help but realize that he was as close to happy as he could get at this point.

He slowly made his way down the stairs to let his agents go for the weekend as he heard Ziva's whispering voice travel to his ear and he stopped right where he standing in the middle of the stairs to listen because at that moment Tony was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand which was always a sign that he was nervous.

"So Tony, you seem to be pretty content lately."

"What makes you think so?"

"You are… more annoying than usual," Ziva replied, still smiling.

"The more annoying I am, the happier I am? Interesting."

"You know what I mean. You just… do smile a lot lately."

"And that's a crime how?" Gibbs was able to hear the slight strain in Tony's voice now.

"No crime," McGee finally chimed in now. "We're just observing… and wondering what brought this up."

"Does there have to be a reason anytime I smile? Maybe I'm just listening to the voices inside my head and think they're funny."

Ziva let out an exasperated sigh. "See, that is what I meant with more annoying."

Tony let out a laugh and was about to step away from his co-workers as Ziva stopped him, grabbing his wrist with her hand.

"Come on, Tony. It is about that new girlfriend of yours, yes? Linda was it?"

Jet could still only see the back of Tony's head as he was facing away from him but he could nearly feel the confusion radiating from him. Jet cracked a smile, hoping that Tony was fast enough to catch up on his own lie. He heard him sigh, causing McGee and Ziva to smirk at each other, sensing their victory.

"Yeah, okay," Tony held up his hands in surrender now. "I admit there might be someone there."

"Hah!" Ziva cried out and held out her hand to McGee who placed a twenty there.

"So, she _is_ something special?" Ziva's voice had changed now, it wasn't curious and demanding anymore instead there seemed to be genuine interest there now.

Gibbs saw Tony shrug now, his body language somehow more relaxed than before.

"I hope so," he finally replied quietly. "Want it to be special."

Gibbs felt a smile tugging at his lips at the same time that McGee patted Tony's shoulder and Ziva gave him a reassuring nod. For a moment, Gibbs didn't know what made him happier (and yes, he actually thought about that word quite a lot lately), the fact that Tony wanted this thing between him and Jet to be special or the fact that the team cared so deeply for each other that beyond all the teasing and pranks, there was more to them, that they looked out for each other, not only in the field but in more personal regards, too.

Finally, Gibbs continued walking down the stairs, pretending not to have listened to their conversation and desperately trying to keep the smile from his face. Instead he tried to put on the mask of the grumpy boss.

"Just talked to Vance," he said as he had reached the bullpen. "You can hand in your reports on Tuesday. Got Monday off in exchange for yesterday. So get going, enjoy the rest of your Sunday."

"Seriously?" McGee asked.

"No, I'm kidding," Gibbs raised an eyebrow at McGee who opened his mouth and closed it again, realizing that his leg had been pulled before he grabbed his backpack.

Gibbs stifled a yawn and gathered up his stuff, too, leaving into the direction of the elevators with Tony, McGee and Ziva trailing behind. Just as the doors closed, Ziva poked Tony's arm causing him to look at her.

"Going to go out with your new girlfriend then, tonight?"

Tony cast a quick glance at him and Jet briefly wondered how long they would be able to lead them on because the wink that Tony gave him at that exact moment must have been quite obvious. So, he just nodded curtly and quickly looked away instead finding interest in the metal doors in front of him.

"Yeah," Tony finally started to answer. "I got a few ideas about that."

Ziva let out a laugh. "No details, please."

At that moment, the doors finally opened to the garage and his agents spread out to their cars. Just as Jet was about to start the engine, he heard his cell ring and grinned as he looked at the caller ID.

"Gibbs."

"So, you know, as I'm going out with my _new girlfriend_ tonight, I wondered if you were free in the afternoon?"

Gibbs snorted. "Sure. What do you want to do?"

"Dunno. How about I'll swing by your place at around 1500 and we'll figure something out then?"

"Sounds like a plan."

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><p><em>AN: Not all that much happening here, I know but I needed this chapter to keep going... so, I hope you liked it anyway and as always, reviews would be fantastic._


	16. Run, Shower, Flicker

_A/N: Just as always, a huge thank you for reading, reviewing and alerting this story :) I'm really glad, you're liking this!_

_Once again, I'd like to point out the M-Rating here xD_

_Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or The Magnificent Seven._

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Sixteen: Run, Shower, Flicker<span>**

Tony quickly checked his reflection in the mirror, making sure that his hair was styled the way he wanted it. He shortly wondered why he even cared about it, he was just going to see Jet and the man usually never cared about his own looks at all. Well, usually that was. Tony suddenly remembered that hot black button down shirt he had been wearing to their date last week. Grinning to himself, he realized that he probably still had to learn a lot about the other Gibbs, the one who had managed to get married to four women, the one who he was outside of work.

Tony finally got out the car, shivering slightly as he was only clad in sweats and a t-shirt. He quickly ran up the stairs to Jet's front door and wanted to let himself in but had to realize that the door was locked. _What in the world?_ Confused, he rang the doorbell and after a few moments, Jet opened it and stepped aside to let him in.

"What's wrong with you?" Tony asked grinning before he gave him a short kiss.

"Nothing's wrong, I just tend to lock that door if I've got actually something to…" Jet trailed off now and looked away for a moment before his eyes locked into Tony's again.

He cleared his throat and gave him another short and yet lingering kiss before he looked at Tony's attire.

"Okay, either you're planning a very cozy evening in front of the television or you want to work out."

"The latter, Jet. Was thinking about going for a run. I'm sure we can use it after that week of sitting around all day."

Gibbs nodded shortly. "Gonna get changed then."

This time it was Tony's turn to nod. He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and pulled out his cell to look at random photos while he was waiting. It was when he realized that he had none of Jet. Well, no good ones at least. He had one of the whole team from Christmas but Jet was so… _Gibbs_ there that it hardly even counted. He'd have to take one soon, probably without the guy watching…

Half an hour later, they had finished their third mile through a nearby park in complete silence. Only the dull thuds of their sneakers on the ground and their at first even and controlled but slowly getting ragged breaths were to be heard and Tony found it oddly soothing, giving him the chance to clear his mind from work and focus on the present moment. He knew that Jet and he had still a lot to talk about. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that they would probably be able to work it out and even though this was all still a bit strange and he was still getting used to the idea of actually being with a man, of actually being with Jet, he was still certain that this was the right thing, the real thing.

He blinked, losing his step for a moment, realizing where his thoughts were just headed. He felt Jet slow down beside him more than he saw it and he tilted his head to look at him only to see him staring right back at him, piercing blue eyes boring into his green ones.

"What are you thinking about?" he finally asked.

Tony shrugged while he slowed down even more now until he came to a complete halt. Gibbs stopped right next to him, furrowing a brow.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Tony slowly answered, wiping the sweat from his forehead, wondering where the sudden change of mood had come from.  
>"Just, is this for real real?"<p>

Jet looked at him and stepped closer to him and Tony was able to see the fine lines around his eyes, the serious look in those blue orbs.

"I already told you that, Tony," he quietly answered, reaching out to grab his hand and Tony let him, not caring that they were standing in the middle of a park for all eyes to see.

The younger man nodded again, unable to look away from him now, mesmerized by his face all of a sudden.

"Have I ever broken a promise?"

"No, you haven't. Sometimes… it's just hard to believe, you know. This thing… you and me."

"I know," Jet quietly replied, "but this is working pretty well despite everything, right?"

"I guess," Tony said before he quickly glanced around and gave Jet another kiss on his lips before he stepped back and added. "Race you home?"

Without waiting for an answer, he broke into a sprint with a laughing Jet on his heels.

-x-

They reached his house side by side, panting heavily. Once inside, Jet discarded his sneakers and walked into the kitchen, grabbed two Gatorades from the fridge and handed one to Tony. They drank in silence for a moment before Tony put down the bottle on the counter, approaching him and Jet was able to smell Tony's musky scent now as he pulled his arms around his waist, drawing him closer. Jet sat the bottle on the kitchen table before he cupped Tony's face with his hand. He leaned in now, brushing his lips against the younger man's. He didn't know how long they just stood there like that, just looking at each other, kissing once in a while and even though they hardly touched, Jet couldn't quite remember when something had last felt quite that intimate.

"We should probably shower, right?" Tony finally ended the heavy silence.

"Probably, yeah."

They stepped into the bathroom and Tony had already pulled his shirt over his head as Jet laid out two towels for him.

"I'm going to make some coffee," he said then, almost desperately trying to avoid looking at Tony who had undressed himself to his boxers by now.

"You're leaving me?" Tony all but snapped in surprise, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Yes. Why?"

"Dunno, thought that you'd maybe want to shower, too. With me?" Tony's tone was clearly guarded now but Jet was still able to make out the underlying hopefulness.

Jet remained standing there, fidgeting slightly.

"Or do you not want to?" Tony asked now, apparently getting more dare-devil by the second.

"It's not like that," Jet replied now, unable to contain the smirk on his lips. "Showering with you will just make me want to do things other than shower."

He looked at Tony now who was suddenly standing there nervously and Jet briefly wondered whether he shouldn't have said it after all but then Tony grinned cheekily.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

Jet stared at him for a moment, taking in the other man's body, his eyes traveling over the chest that was rising and falling rather abruptly now, the tone stomach and the black boxer shorts that had suddenly become a lot tighter. He was still pondering about what to do as Tony finally got moving again, stripping down his boxers and stepped into the shower.

"Well?" he asked gently now. "Wanna get in here?"

Jet took a deep breath now before he shucked off his shirt, sweatpants and boxers and joined Tony in the shower. He met his eye then with a smile and reached up the slightest to kiss Tony's cheek, hands steadying himself against the other man as he adjusted to the warmth of the water that was pouring down.

Tony stared back at him for a moment, the water dripping down from those long eyelashes of his before he angled his head slightly to catch Jet's lips with his own. The older man wrapped his arms around the other's neck now, meeting his eye again and was able to see him blush ever so slightly, causing Jet to notice that sudden nice feeling of warmth that had started just a little below his stomach. Jet's fingertips were now softly tracing patterns across the defined lines of Tony's collarbone, causing him to shiver.

"So, this whole taking it slow thing," Tony finally started to speak again, still staring intently. "What if I pull you up against me like this," he grinned, his hands suddenly on Jet's hips, pulling him closer and as he realized that he was meeting no resistance, he looked him into the eye again.

Jet nodded shortly once and felt himself drawn even closer now, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. Suddenly, Tony forfeited the attention he had been paying to Jet's eyes for his lips, gently tilting Jet's head back with a hand as he kissed him properly for the first time in almost a week. It started off slow, carefully, even shy at some point, almost as if he was second-guessing himself. However, the kiss progressed further and Jet let him, opening his mouth the slightest as he tried to encourage his own lips apart. Apparently, Tony didn't need that much convincing as he felt their tongues battling for dominance soon enough. After what seemed like hours but was obviously only a few moments of feeling Tony's strong hands on his sides and tongues rolling together, Jet inched himself away ever so slightly.

"That alright?"

"Oh, I don't know," Tony gave him that cheeky grin again. "Is this you," he gestured at the short distance between them, "cutting me off before anything even happened?

"Not if you want it to," Jet replied, his voice suddenly lower than usual.

His chin was angled up again as Tony nibbled down his neck almost tenderly causing Jet to groan in that same low tone. Jet didn't quite know when they had started meeting with shallow, desperate thrusts but it felt surprisingly good but somehow strangely inadequate. It was all too much and still not enough, not satisfying. He suddenly leaned into the other man, backing him gently up against the wall.

"Lean back a little more," he said, his voice thick now, slightly out of breath.

He saw the question in Tony's eyes so he simply waved the younger man's hands off of his hips and without hesitation slipped down to his knees. He looked up at Tony for a moment and gave him a soft and encouraging smile as Tony's breathing faltered for a moment as he apparently realized what Gibbs was about to do.

"Relax," Jet chuckled now.

"I… I am," Tony pressed out, obviously still trying to process what was happening.

Jet smirked at him again, his fingers trailing down Tony's stomach now. He didn't linger long though, deciding that there were more pressing matters. With another deep breath and one look at Tony, whose breathing was still not back to normal, he let his fingers wrap around the base of Tony's erection. He heard him made a low, almost desperate sound and Jet quickly glanced up at Tony, making sure he was still alright, making sure he was doing the right thing.

The warm hand that settled on his jaw line said more than enough and Tony's smile grew bigger as he rocked his hips against Jet's slow movements. Jet licked his lips before he shifted even closer now, tentatively licking the head of Tony's cock and he could hear him groan again, apparently enjoying what Jet was doing to him.

He nuzzled and tasted before he finally sealed his mouth over Tony's shaft, feeling the other man's fingers groping his hair. Jet couldn't help but realize that this felt strangely right and it made him push every thought out of his mind and just enjoy the action, the senses, Tony's taste and hardness.

Jet continued to taste the other man, while his right hand squeezed and stroked his balls. Jet found himself working Tony's cock harder and faster, pushing the other man closer to the edge with every flick of his tongue, with every sucking thrust of his head. He heard Tony groan again loudly and call out his name as his muscles tensed all of a sudden.

"Jet, I'm gonna…"

Jet pulled back now, replacing his mouth with his hand and started to stroke him again. Tony's hips thrust against the touch erratically now and then all his muscles visually contracted and a stifled moan echoed through the bathroom as he came.

"God, Jet," Tony breathed out now, his hands gripping Jet's shoulders hard.

Jet let him catch his breath for a few moments before he stood up and caught his lips again, stealing his breath all over again. He only backed away as he felt Tony grab his cock hard, his fingers wrapping around him.

"That's it," he whispered.

Tony leaned down ever so slightly, kissing him again and Jet realized with a start that he was already losing control. A few more strokes and he felt the orgasm tearing threw him with such an intensity that he had to grab Tony's shoulders to remain standing. He laid his forehead upon the other man's shoulder, trying to get his breathing back to normal, trying to get back to his senses again.

"Yeah, definitely screw slow," Tony laughed now, trailing soft kisses down Jet's temple.

-x-

Tony yawned, his head resting on Jet's thighs, a few hours later. They were watching _The Magnificent Seven_ and to Tony's surprise, Jet seemed to be engrossed in it, hardly ever averting his eyes from the screen. Tony made a mental note to bring over a few of his western movies for them to watch as it seemed like the older man actually enjoyed them. He was staring up at him now and Tony realized that he was looking utterly relaxed, his left arm draped over the backrest of the couch, his right hand softly trailing patterns on Tony's hip. Tony let out a content sigh, realizing that he wouldn't mind lying there all day, just looking at the guy. He couldn't help but let the events of the day pass in front of his inner eye and he felt himself getting slightly excited again but pushed the thought about the shower out of his mind for the time being. This all seemed still so unreal to him that he wasn't really sure whether all of this wasn't only a dream.

He yawned again, turning his attention back to the television but not really seeing anything as his mind was already drifting to the evening and night that was still in front of them. Not able to suppress the thought of being wrapped around Jet, lying in bed, falling asleep together with him. And on top of that, there was a free Monday ahead of them…

Suddenly, Tony felt his heart drop the slightest of fractions as the realization hit him that today was Sunday. Looking up at the other man again, he cleared his throat.

"Uh, Jet?"

"Yeah?" Jet averted his glance from the screen in front of them and looked down at him instead, a half-smile playing on his lips

"I'm such an idiot. Why didn't you say anything?"

"About?" Jet asked, furrowing a brow, concern clearly visible on his face now.

"It's Sunday and we didn't catch a case. I've kept you from visiting Kelly and Shannon."

Jet tilted his head ever so slightly now, his expression neutral and composed but Tony could have sworn that he had just seen his blue eyes flicker for a moment. But the moment was gone so fast that he felt almost sure that he had imagined it after all.

"No problem," Jet cleared his throat. "No big deal, I'll just visit them tomorrow."

He looked at him for a moment longer before he averted his glance and continued watching the movie.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would absolutely make my day :)_


	17. When I Come Around

_A/N: Wow, thanks for your feedback :) Another rather important chapter coming up now (or at least, I think so xD). Hope you like it :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Seventeen: When I Come Around<span>**

Tony opened his eyes and immediately felt that something was off as the bed somehow seemed to be colder than usual. He turned around now and realized that Jet was not lying next to him. Tony squinted at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was only 0830. Sighing, he pondered to go back to sleep but saw no point in that as he was too used to having Jet's warmth beside him by now that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway.

He got up, rummaged through a the drawers of Jet's wardrobe until he found a pair of sweats that would fit him and slowly went down the stairs. Quickly glancing around the living-room and the kitchen, he realized that the owner of the house was nowhere in sight. He listened intently for any noises from the basement but came up with nothing. Where had he gone? Had Tony done something wrong? He replayed the evening and the night in his head, trying to figure out whether Jet had mentioned something about going somewhere. The talk about the missed visit to Kelly and Shannon's graves came to his mind. That must be it, though it was kind of odd that Jet hadn't said anything.

He had seemed perfectly fine last night after Tony had talked to him about it. Well, almost perfectly fine. He had been a bit quieter but Tony hadn't thought much about it as Jet wasn't one of many words anyhow. Only now, did he realize that for the first time since they had started to share a bed, it was Tony that had been spooning up against Jet and not the other way around. But that wasn't really anything to be worried about, was it? Because, well, Jet had let him wrap his arms around him, had given him a kiss good night. Besides, who said that it had always had to be Jet who had to have his arms draped around him? After all, he had been the one on his knees the day before…

Tony subtly shook his head, banning the thought out of his mind as he felt himself getting all tingly inside again. Who would have ever thought that Leroy Jethro Gibbs would do stuff like that? Tony grinned to himself for a moment, thinking about what kinds of surprises Jet would still have in store for him…

He made his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee as he noticed a small piece of paper lying on the kitchen counter.

_Tony, _he read, _I'm at the cemetery, didn't want to wake you up. Make yourself at home. I'll bring breakfast. Jet_

Feeling much more relaxed now, he made quick work preparing the coffee before he retired to the living-room, switching on the television, hoping to find something decent that wasn't any reality show. He finally settled on a news broadcast and had barely finished his coffee as he heard a key turn and the front door open. Had Jet actually locked the door again?

"Hey," he called out as Jet came into his field of vision.

"Morning."

Jet's eyes shortly rested on Tony's bare chest and the slightly too small sweatpants.

"Nice outfit," he smirked before he went into the kitchen with Tony trailing behind.

"I forgot to bring some clothes yesterday. And don't act as if you don't like what you're seeing."

Jet let out a snort before he turned around and wrapped his arms around the younger man, engaging him in a kiss.

"I take that as a 'yes, I do like what I see'," Tony grinned when they finally broke apart and he sat down at the table as Jet handed him his breakfast.

"Thanks."

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, with Tony glancing at Jet every other minute or so, just smiling at him.

Finally, Jet cleared his throat, took a sip from the coffee in front of him and looked at Tony again, a serious expression on his face.

"You're not mad that I didn't tell you that I'd visit… them?"

"No," Tony stopped eating now, slightly surprised. "No, not at all. It's not like it's any of my business."

"Isn't it?" Jet asked now, his voice somehow too calm for Tony's taste and he tilted his head the slightest fractions.

"Well, I don't know," he finally answered. "Is it bothering you that I…" he trailed off, not sure what he had wanted to ask in the first place.

Jet sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, clearly uncomfortable now. "You want the truth?"

"Always," Tony answered and got up to sit on the other chair right next to Jet.

"I don't know if you noticed yesterday that I was mad, really mad at myself mostly. When you told me that I had forgotten to visit them, I just couldn't believe it. Granted, it doesn't make much difference whether I visit them on Sundays or Mondays or any other day but it does make a difference to me."

Tony nodded, taking Jet's hand. "I get that. And I'm sorry that I didn't think."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. It's just stuff like that that makes me… I don't know."

"Hey," Tony replied softly now. "It's okay. I told that I didn't want to get between you and Shannon."

"I know that," the older man replied, finally looking at him again. "Still, I should have thought about it. It just kind of threw me off course, you know. I'm only a week with you and I forget to visit them. How long till I forget other stuff?"

Tony sighed not liking the direction this conversation was headed. He ran his fingers through his hair for a moment, trying to find the right words to say just to realize that there were probably none anyway.

"You really think you'd ever forget about them? Even if that would be the case, I won't let you. Period. I mean, yeah, we messed up yesterday but we remembered, okay? And knowing you, you don't make the same mistake twice. Yes, it has happened but it won't again, okay? I mean, I don't have something to remember them by, of course, but I know how much they mean to you and you mean a lot to me, so by extension…," Tony trailed off as he felt Jet's hand grabbing his harder, his eyes boring into him.

"Why aren't you bothered about that?" Jet asked so quietly now that Tony had to lean closer to be able to understand what he was saying.

"Bothered about what? That you never stopped loving them? That you want to visit them regularly? That you disappear every year on Kelly's birthday? I knew all of that before we got involved, Jet. But I also know that all of that doesn't mean that you cannot like me, right? Why would you even think that any of that would bother me?"

"Well," Jet started and Tony was able to see that his eyes were slightly glazed over. "I don't know. The others didn't."

"I'm not the others," Tony gave him a small smile. "I'm me. And it doesn't bother me that I have to… share you because I know that it's not like now that I'm here, everything in the past has vanished. And I don't want that either. What kind of person doesn't accept that? I'm here now and I like you the way you are. I like all of you. I like work-Gibbs, I like the Jet you're here with me, I like the way you always smile when someone mentions Kelly or Shannon, I like that you care and hell, I even like that damn second 'b' sometimes. You got that, Jethro?"

Jet stared intently at him as if to try staring him down, to prove him a liar but Tony just stared right back at him. He had told the truth. And as uncomfortable as he usually was with expressing stuff like that, it had needed to be said and Tony knew that.

After a few more moments of blue eyes boring into green ones, Jet finally nodded sharply once. Tony gave him a smile again and leaned forward to kiss him and was relieved that the other man kissed him back without any hesitation.

"We're good?"

"Yeah," Jet replied. "Sorry, I freaked out."

"Don't worry, I'm sure, I'll freak out at some point, too."

A soft smile appeared on Jet's face now and Tony was glad that his words had apparently gotten through to him.

-x-

"So, tell me about them."

"Shannon and Kelly?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want to know?"

Tony only shrugged. "Anything."

Jet sipped at his coffee, slightly surprised that he actually didn't mind telling Tony about them. He took Tony's hand again, absentmindedly drawing patterns on the back of the younger man's hand with his thumb.

"You know, Kelly really was like a dust devil sometimes. Always on the move, simply unable to shut up even if only for a moment. She loved horseback riding."

"Is that why you're kicking my ass in it?"

"Guess so," Jet shrugged, grinning slightly.

Tony smiled again and gave him an encouraging nod, causing Jet's stomach to become fuzzy all of a sudden.

"Shannon was… I don't know, she was always able to turn around my mood in mere seconds just by the way she'd touch me, she'd laugh. Actually," Jet paused now, looking him in the eyes again, "she was a lot like you in that way. Always knowing when to make a stupid joke or when to shut up."

Tony's smile had grown bigger now and Jet realized with a start that his mood _had_ actually just turned around.

"I guess we complemented each other pretty good. When I first met her, I suddenly had a reason to stop being a stupid boy and start growing up because he had that rule that she'd never date a lumberjack and well, she was all worth it."

"Seriously?" Tony laughed now. "So, you're saying you got your rules from her? I always figured they came from Franks."

"Some of them do, yeah."

Tony shook his head as if he couldn't believe it before he suddenly leaned into him to kiss him and for a short moment, Jet was losing himself in his touch and he briefly wondered how in the world he could have thought of losing him over this only a few minutes ago.

They remained silent for a few moments, just looking at each other as if to make sure that no one was going anywhere. Finally, Jet subtly shook his head as his eyes traveled to Tony's naked upper body again.

"You couldn't find a t-shirt that would fit?"

Tony let out a laugh at the sudden change of topic before he nodded.

"I didn't know if I wasn't allergic to the stuff that Sears' shirts are made of."

Snorting, Jet delivered a softer than usual head slap and got up, grabbing Tony's hand, dragging him up into his bedroom.

"What are you up to?" Tony grinned at him cheekily, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Not what you are thinking of," Jet replied and seeing the pout forming on the other man's face, he added. "At least not now."

"Okay, but a man can only wait for so long," Tony replied, a smile playing on his lips.

Jet grinned before he went to his wardrobe and sifted through a few drawers. Finally, he found what he had been looking for and threw a black NCIS t-shirt at Tony who caught it and slipped into it.

"So, what _are_ we doing?"

"You'll see, T."

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you did not just rhyme, did you?" Tony laughed and approached him, wrapping his arms around him.

"What if I did?"

Tony grinned again and kissed him for a moment. Still looking him in the eye, Jet smiled at him, not quite sure why he was unable to look away from his face. Why exactly hadn't he noticed in all those years that he had known the guy, that he was that handsome when he was flashing his trademark DiNozzo smile?

"You sure I can go dressed like that? Wherever we're going?" Tony finally broke the silence.

"Yeah, I promise no one's going to see you, except for me."

"Uh, intrigue. Come on. Give me a hint, will you?"

"Just some place where Kelly loved to go."

Tony had tilted his head now, a weird smile on his face.

"You don't have to, Jet."

"I know," he gave him a quick peck on the lips. "But I want to."

"Okay, then. Jimmie, lead the way. Boys, get to work."

Jet furrowed a brow, pondering if he really wanted to ask what the hell Tony was talking about.

"Movie quote?"

"Only from _the_ movie, Jet. Gonna watch it soon, promise."

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><p><em>AN: _Let me know what you think... Reviews would be awesomeness :)  
><em>Also, I'd like to add that I probably won't be able to update that frequently till August 9, due to an important exam and ergo lots of studying... But I'll see what I can do, after all it is a very nice distraction ;)  
><em>


	18. Sceneries and Lasagnas

_A/N: Hey guys, thanks again for reading, reviewing, alerting, favoriting and stuff :) You absolutely make my day ;)_

_Here comes another chapter, hope you like it! :)_

_[And yep, the movie quote from before was from Pulp Fiction xD]_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Eighteen: Sceneries and Lasagnas<span>**

"We're going to get there eventually, right?"

Tony looked out the window where trees were passing by so fast that they were more blurry green stuff than actual shapes. Jet's driving wasn't new to Tony, of course, but even despite the reckless pace they had been driving for nearly an hour already. Tony felt a hand squeezing his left knee gently and turned to look at the older man who was staring at him at the moment, grinning slyly.

"Hey, eyes on the road, mister," Tony cried out as Jet continued to just look at him, apparently completely disregarding the traffic in front of them.

"Relax," Jet snickered before he stared out the windshield again. "Only a few more minutes."

"Still not telling me where we're going?"

"Nope."

"You are an evil bastard, Leroy Jethro Gibbs," Tony pouted and poked his arm softly.

"So I've been told."

-x-

Just as promised, Jet turned off the highway onto a street that was nothing more than a cart-way, apparently leading into the woods after a few more minutes. Tony looked out the window again, taking in the admittedly beautiful landscape. Open fields connected to the green forest in front of them. Tony rolled down the window now, closed his eyes and let the sun tickle his face for a moment. He sighed contently as he felt Jet's hand grabbing his own and turned to look at him again and saw him sporting a half-smile, apparently slightly unsure about something.

Tony gave him his best smile and saw Jet relax visibly as he turned over at the outskirts of the forest. They got out of the car and walked towards the forest in silence with Tony looking around, listening to the chatter of the birds sitting in the trees. For a fleeting moment, Tony thought about this as a perfect site for a father-son-camping-trip and snorted. As if his father would have ever taken him to such a thing. He subtly shook his head as he pictured his dad in sweats, putting up a tent.

"What's wrong?" Jet interrupted his train of thought, taking his hand.

"Nothing really," Tony smiled. "Just thought about my dad taking me to a place like this."

"Never did, huh?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tony snorted. "Can you picture my father taking me here or anywhere for that matter? Okay, he took me once to a fishing trip but I'm still not sure whether he really wanted me to be there or whether it was just because my mother told him to take me."

Jet squeezed his hand gently before he let go, instead pulling his arm around Tony's waist.

"But you were that kind of dad, right? Taking your kid to places like this, maybe camping out here, telling her ghost stories and stuff?"

Jet looked at him and even though he was giving him a soft smile, Tony could see the sadness mirroring in his blue eyes and the realization began to dawn on him.

"You did take her here, didn't you?"

"Yeah, she loved it here. Playing hide and seek, eating marshmallows over the camp fire, listening to stories I'd tell her or just sitting at the lake, reading a book."

"Lake?" Tony asked now, pulling the other man closer to him with every step they were taking.

"Yup. You haven't seen the best part, yet."

-x-

Jet couldn't help but stare at Tony's face when he was taking in the scenery in front of his eyes as they had finally arrived at their destination. There were lots of trees and grasses that grew around a small lake, almost hiding the small streams that flowed into the lake. He felt slightly relieved that the water was just as clear as Jet remembered it and that he was able to make out some fish just underneath the surface. He heard Tony taking a deep breath, apparently smelling the fresh earth's flavor around them.

"Like it?" He asked now, slightly surprised as his voice came out in only a whisper.

"Yeah," Tony nodded, finally looking at him again. "It's so peaceful and vigorous at the same time."

"Never took you as a nature kind of guy," Jet joked, taking Tony's hand again.

"I'm not usually," he replied. "But this is…"

"Exactly."

They stood there in silence for a few moments before Jet lead them closer to the water, took of his shoes and sat down at the bank of the lake, letting his feet plunge into the water. Realizing that Tony was still standing there unmoving, he looked up at him, wondering what was wrong with him.

"Frozen there?"

"Nah," Tony replied, shrugging. "But it's kind of damp here. Clothes gonna get all wet and dirty."

Jet let out a laugh. "You really are a big city child. Sit down already. Besides, those are my clothes anyway. I give you permission to make them dirty."

Tony shrugged again, kicked off his sneakers and finally sat down beside him.

"Damn," he cried out as his toes hit the surface of the water. "This is freezing."

"Don't be such a wuss. It's not that cold," Jethro mumbled but Tony heard him anyway, causing him to poke his arm again.

"Don't make a habit out of that," Jet pointed out.

Tony let out a laugh, poking him again. "If I recall correctly I said the same thing to you after the first head slap. Didn't stop you from doing it."

"Well," Jet started, grinning at the younger man. "That's different. I'm your boss, I'm allowed to do that."

"You're so not."

This time it was Jet's turn to laugh as he gave a surprised Tony a soft slap upside the head. Tony apparently didn't mind though and actually leaned into the touch, causing Jet to let his hand linger at the back of Tony's head. He tried to pull him closer and Tony let him, leaning into him willingly. He brushed his lips against the younger man's for a moment. But as he wanted to pull away again, Tony had already cupped his face with his left hand and drew him nearer. His mouth was warm, his lips soft and Jet was just able to taste the remnants of the coffee that Tony had been drinking on the way. As Tony tasted tentatively with his tongue, Jet willingly let him in, unable to resist him anyway. He let him explore his mouth, their tongues rolling together. They ended the kiss far too soon for his taste as the need for air got frantic. For a moment, they looked at each other and Jet lost himself in Tony's green eyes again. How in the world had they not seen that sort of connection between them for so many years? Just… how?

"Hey," Tony's soft voice brought him back into the present. "When was the last time you were here?"

Jet felt his inside clench for a short moment at the thought of his last visit but felt surprised that the feeling subsided quickly as he looked at Tony's still smiling face.

"Right before I was deployed."

Tony raised an eyebrow, suddenly looking troubled. "Desert Storm?" he finally managed to ask.

Jet nodded once and averted his glance from Tony instead looking at the smooth surface of the water in front of him.

"You haven't been here in over twenty years?"

"No. Couldn't."

He felt Tony pulling his arm around his shoulders now as he asked. "Why now?"

Jet shrugged and continued to stare at the water skimmers on the water. "Thought I'd share stuff. That's what you do in a relationship, right?"

-x-

Tony felt himself tense up for the shortest of moments before he relaxed again and slightly increased the pressure on Jet's shoulders. Was that what it was? A relationship? He briefly wondered why he was feeling surprised at all. It was just that he hadn't actually given the status of whatever they had been doing a label. But it made sense, didn't it? He knew that he was committed to this thing with Jet and as much as he was usually getting the creeps about the mere notion of being in a relationship, he realized only now that this had come so naturally that he hadn't even thought about the need to clear it up.

"Are you saying you're my boyfriend now?" Tony chuckled and heard Jet next to him do the same.

"That sounds kind of weird now, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Tony laughed and leaned in to kiss him again.

-x-

The drive back home was spent in almost complete silence. They had remained sitting at the lake for hours, just talking about nothing in particular, just generally enjoying the company of the other man. Jet couldn't remember an afternoon when he had felt so comfortable and yet so excited all at once. But the way Tony had kept on giving him those irresistible smiles had made him forget the slight hesitation to go to the lake in the first place. He knew that it had been the right decision and he knew that Tony knew what importance this place held for him. They had just left the place because Tony's stomach had made itself perceivable, reminding them that they hadn't gotten anything to eat since breakfast, so they had decided to call it a day and return home.

"Want to go to my place?" Tony suddenly asked, not averting his glance from the landscape right next to the highway.

"Sure. Just going to stop at my house to get some clothes for tomorrow."

"Ah, come on. Just take some of mine. Did I tell you how hot you looked in my OSU-shirt?"

Jet let out a laugh, looking at Tony who was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the moment.

"Do I?"

"Oh yeah."

"But you do realize that it might be just a tad suspicious if I show up at work in your t-shirt, right?"

"Perfect opportunity to test the investigation skills of our probies."

"Yeah, right," Jet laughed, picturing McGee's mouth hanging open and Ziva's smirk, if he'd really do it.

"Okay," Jet continued after a few moments. "I'll get my clothes for tomorrow but I'll wear your stuff for the rest of the evening? Deal?"

"Deal," Tony replied, a smirk on his lips. "But you won't wear it for long anyway, trust me."

"Yeah?" Jet raised an eyebrow.

"Of course. Nobody has ever had the willpower to resist me after I have cooked my famous lasagna."

"Yeah, right," Jet just said, already looking forward to whatever Tony was planning.

-x-

Tony looked at Jet sitting on his couch, feet up on the coffee table, his arms resting on the backrest, looking utterly relaxed. They had been watching _Pulp Fiction_ for the last hour, eating lasagna and just enjoying themselves. He had to bite back a laugh as he saw Jet furrowing a brow at something that was happening on the screen.

"Tell me why exactly this is supposed to be a classic? It's just… weird?"

"That's exactly the reason why. And remember who the movie buff of the two of us is, so no room for an argument, Jet."

The older man held up his hands in surrender, laughing. Tony leaned over to give him a quick kiss but felt himself being pulled closer as Jet had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, looking deep into his eyes. He realized that Jet's eyes had darkened now as his pupils grew huge. Tony felt himself yanked by the collar again and taken by surprise, he lost his balance and ended up sprawled on top of Jet. With a start, Tony realized that his cock was already twitching in anticipation and he felt himself pressing against Jet's now, realizing that he was getting hard just like him. Sliding his hands up until they grasped either side of Jet's face, he leaned further in and captured Jet's mouth with his own. The other man was quick in responding as he parted his lips to allow Tony's tongue access. The heat that was suddenly spreading inside of Tony was almost palpable as if the world around him had erupted in flames and had crumbled into a pile of ashes.

Tony let his forehead drop to Jet's shoulders now, moving his hips along his thighs. He moved a hand from his hips to his groin, palming Jet's cock through the pants, causing him to groan ever so slightly. Encouraged by that, Tony made quick work with the belt and the zipper. Unceremoniously, he shoved down Jet's black boxer shorts now, so he was able to see his cock, already hard, almost pleading for his touch.

He brushed his fingers over the head and Jet groaned again. Tony looked into his face for a moment, making sure that he was doing this right but Jet had his eyes closed, apparently enjoying his touch. So, he wrapped his fingers around his length and carefully began to stroke him. Suddenly, a shudder traveled through Jet's body and he sat up straight, basically knocking Tony over. For a fleeting moment, Tony thought that he had moved too fast after all but then, Jet looked him in the eyes again and pulled his t-shirt off, exposing his chest. He leaned back against the backrest now and Tony dared to continue stroking him and this time he felt Jet beginning to thrust up into his hand.

"Feels so good," he barely managed to choke out the words before his head lolled back and he began to thrust harder.

Releasing his hip, Tony ran his hand up his chest, enjoying the way Jet's skin quivered under his touch. Bringing his hand down to his abdomen again, he watched the muscles tense as he lowered his hand further in an attempt to push down his boxers and jeans even more now. His fingers skimmed the hot skin of Jet's balls now and Jet arched his back. Tony increased the speed of his strokes now.

"Jeez, so close," he groaned now.

Tony could already tell that Jet was close from the flush over his chest, the ragged breathing and the way the thrusting of hips had lost all its rhythm. Jet lifted his hips as he continued to stroke him harder and faster. Suddenly, he felt Jet's cock pulsing and then he erupted all over Tony's hand and his stomach. Panting heavily, Jet drew Tony closer now, kissing him fiercely, while he apparently tried to get back to his senses, his body still trembling slightly.

All of a sudden Jet let go off Tony for a moment as if to collect himself before he unceremoniously shoved his hand into Tony's pants. Jet leaned down to kiss him as his hand wrapped around his cock. Tony realized with a start that he wouldn't take much longer now and quickly pushed down the sweats and boxers to give Jet more space. Jet returned the favor now, stroking him hard and Tony felt the orgasm ripping through him already with such intensity that he grabbed Jet's shoulders so hard that he was almost sure he would leave marks on them.

"Damn," he groaned as he came, harder than he would have ever imagined.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the waves of the orgasm crush over him. He felt Jet lie down beside him and looked at him. He was sporting a broad smile on his face now and kissed him shortly.

"You were right," he started, still slightly out of breath but yet laughing. "Nobody can resist you after you served your lasagna."

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><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Reviews? ;)_


	19. Falling To Pieces Pt 1

_A/N: Just as always, a huge Thank You for your reviews! :) So great ;)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Nineteen: Falling To Pieces Pt. 1<span>**

Tony wondered how in the world he had ended up in front of McGee's apartment at three o'clock in the morning, barely holding himself together, not even sure why he was there, not even sure if he'd be able to actually knock on that door. How could all of that have happened in not even forty-eight hours? Just… how?

-x- Flashback –x-

_Tony tried to get himself out of his headspace. They had been called to a crime scene early on Tuesday morning. The victim was a twenty-four year old Petty Officer named Thomas Cryer, who had been shot five times – twice in the head, three times in the chest – in his own apartment. Neighbors had heard the gunfire but hadn't seen anyone leaving the apartment afterwards. Tony hadn't been able to suppress the slightly uncomfortable feeling in his gut as he had first set foot in there because it looked remarkably like his own. The living-room was dominated by a huge television screen and the bookshelves on the walls were filled with hundredths of movies and good ones at that. Tony realized that it was a typical bachelor pad and his gut churned the slightest at the thought that he was much older than the guy but still hadn't moved forward in his life, was still living exactly the way the guy had lived in his mid-twenties. One look at Gibbs, however, and the feeling had subsided a bit. After all, he hoped that he was about to change his way of life permanently…_

"_How could this guy afford a television set like this?" McGee brought him back to the crime scene._

"_That's what we're going to find out," Gibbs replied, packing up his stuff and motioned the team to follow his lead._

_A few hours later, McGee suddenly sprang up from his chair in the bullpen and excitedly searched for the remote of the plasma._

"_Got it," he all but cried out and Tony, Ziva and Gibbs stood up to look at the screen, which showed a newspaper article from a few weeks before and Tony read the headline._

Marine wins $750,000 in Las Vegas

"_So this how he was able to afford that TV and stuff," Ziva said now, nodding her head._

"_Do you reckon that the murderer was after the money, then?" Tony chimed in now._

"_Probably," McGee answered slowly, "There was no money on any of his accounts, so maybe he had stashed it somewhere else. Maybe in his apartment?"_

"_Let's go and find out." Gibbs finally joined the conversation. "Ziva, you go through his family and friends' files, find out whether he had had any fights with any of these people recently. McGee, go through his credit card activities again, see if we missed anything. DiNozzo, you're with me, we're going to search the apartment again."_

"_On it, Boss," the three agents said in unison as Tony grabbed his gear and followed Gibbs into the elevator._

_-x-_

_Gibbs had just finished sifting through the dead Petty Officer's bedroom in order to find the money or anything else that would indicate where the money was as Tony entered the room, shrugging._

"_Kitchen and living-room are clear. There's nothing there. You got any more luck?"_

_Gibbs just shook his head and looked at Tony's slightly disheveled appearance for a moment before he approached him. He wasn't quite sure why but he suddenly felt the urge to just touch him even if only for a moment. _

_The day had been hectic so far and he had barely had a chance to catch his breath, let alone having more than a few seconds thought about the weekend that lay behind them. Jet was still not able to process all that had been happening. It was all too much for one single weekend and he knew it but yet it had happened. They had abandoned the idea of taking it slow and Jet had to admit that it was the best idea that they had had in a very long time. What they had been doing had felt so incredibly good and so incredibly right that he couldn't even remember what he had been afraid of in the first place. But it was not just about that. No, he had freaked out about forgetting his girls for a moment but Tony had brought him down to earth again, had told him that he understood and to Jet's surprise, he had actually believed the guy, causing him to open up to him even more. The visit to the lake had been special for both of them, had proved to be the right move as Jet felt sure that it had brought their relationship to a whole new level._

_He shortly took Tony's hand now and squeezed it softly, looking into Tony's surprised eyes._

"_And here I thought we can't do this at work."_

"_We can't," Jet shrugged and let go, grinning at him. "But I…"_

_He trailed off now, thinking that he had heard something. He listened closely now and sure enough, he was able to hear sounds coming from the front door. It seemed like someone was trying to pick the lock. Gibbs curtly nodded at Tony who had his gun already in his hand. Quietly, they made their way back into the living-room just as the door opened, revealing two men in their twenties. Pointing their guns at the guys in front of them, Gibbs and Tony simultaneously cried out._

"_Federal agents, what are you doing here?"_

_The two men stood there frozen for a moment before one of them reached into the left pocket of his jacket and only moments later was pointing a gun at Tony. Gibbs saw Tony cast him a quick glance before he focused back on the two guys._

"_Drop your weapon," Gibbs called out now, slowly inching closer towards Tony. "Drop your damn weapon," he repeated as the guy had made no move to do so._

_Gibbs felt himself getting restless as his gut started to churn, telling him that this was all so wrong. He looked at the determined eyes of the intruders, sensing that they wouldn't give up that easily. He tried to stay calm now, it wasn't like something like that hadn't happened before. But then suddenly, the guy's gun went off, missing Tony's head by mere inches as he ducked out the way and before Gibbs had even grasped what was happening, the two young men were on the move, trying to get away from them._

"_You okay?" Gibbs shouted at Tony who was lying flat on the floor now._

"_Yeah, fine. Let's go."_

_And with that both of them sprinted out of the apartment, chasing the others who were already two flights of stairs ahead of them. As they ran out the apartment complex, they were just able to see the men jumping into a black Volvo, driving away with screeching tires._

"_Damn it," he heard Tony curse beside him as they ran to their own car to start their pursuit._

_Gibbs stepped on the gas, while Tony was calling Ziva and McGee for backup and after a few minutes, they weren't far behind the Volvo. By now, they were driving along an almost deserted street with no houses to be seen far and wide. Just as Gibbs was about to close up to the other vehicle, was almost at the same level, a gunshot was to be heard again and a split of a second later, a bullet went through the windshield of their car, causing Gibbs to almost swerve off the road. _

_He heard Tony groan beside him and felt his insides freeze as he saw blood dripping down the younger man's temple. But before he was able to look at him any closer, he heard a second gunshot but luckily, the bullet seemed to had missed them this time, so Gibbs did what he had to do. He let the car swerve again and managed to graze the Volvo at the rear end. The car was pushed off of the street, crashed into a nearby fence and came to halt. Gibbs abruptly stepped on the brakes, too, stopping the car. He was now able to see a black sedan coming towards them now and realized that it was a NCIS car. He tried to unbuckle himself but had to realize that he was shaking violently at the same time that Tony next to him groaned again, clutching his head. _

_Gibbs stopped dead in his tracks, just staring at the younger man, unable to avert his eyes from him, unable to move, unable to even make sure he was alright. It was as though he was paralyzed sitting in that car, not caring that those two bastards were still out there. All he could see was the slumped over figure of Tony beside him, with blood running all over his hands, whimpering quietly._

_It wasn't until Ziva and McGee had already jumped out of their car, had already pointed their guns at the Volvo carrying the two bastards and Gibbs was able to hear Ziva shout something that sounded suspiciously like "What are you doing, Gibbs?" that he came back to his senses and jumped out the car, too, pointing his gun at the guys who were now obediently getting out of their vehicle, their hands raised, gun nowhere to be seen. Gibbs shouted something at Ziva and McGee and they made quick work of cuffing the two men. _

_Gibbs, however, wasn't paying attention to them anymore instead he quickly made his way back to their own damaged car and carefully opened the passenger door. He felt his heart sink and his insides clench as he saw Tony sitting there, unmoving. Gibbs squatted down now and carefully touched the younger man's arm. He felt Tony move under his touch and Gibbs let out a sigh of relief as he turned the slightest of fractions towards him, the green eyes locking into his._

"_You okay?" Gibbs asked now, quickly scanning the wounds that were gaping on Tony's forehead and his left temple._

_Tony apparently tried to nod but stopped immediately as if it hurt too much just to move._

"_Stay still," Gibbs ordered softly now, putting a reassuring hand on Tony's thigh._

"_Call an ambulance," he cried back over his shoulder at Ziva or McGee or whoever would listen to him._

"_Everything's gonna be alright," he softly said now, not sure whether it was supposed to soothe Tony or himself._

_-x-_

_Tony's thoughts were still a bit hazy as he was sitting on a bed in the hospital, his head bandaged heavily, waiting for someone to pick him up to bring him home. Luckily for him, that first bullet had apparently missed him by inches but had had enough strength to damage the windshield, sending the broken glass in every direction and to Tony's head. He was still feeling a bit dizzy but even though the wounds had been deep and had needed stitches, he wasn't feeling all that bad considering. The doctor had told him that he had a concussion but would able to go home if he had anyone to look after him for the night, to make sure that he would wake up every other hour._

_It didn't take long until Gibbs was entering his room, a strange expression on his face. Tony wasn't quite able to place it. First, he thought that he looked worried or even angry but somehow it didn't quite fit both of those definitions. Tony subtly shook his head, maybe his head was more damaged than he thought after all. The movement, however, hadn't been the best idea he ever had as his head seemingly threatened to split itself apart now, so he let go of the thoughts about Gibbs and concentrated on getting up instead._

_Slowly, they made their way out of the hospital with Tony's left arm draped around Jet's shoulders to support his weight. The ride home to Jet's house was spent in almost complete silence as was the way up into Jet's bedroom where Tony laid down immediately, thankful for the comfortable mattress beneath him. They exchanged a few more words but Tony was already feeling drowsy and Jet apparently sensed that he needed his rest, so he lay down next to him, carefully wrapping his arms around him, giving him a short kiss on his cheek. Tony wanted to return the favor but was too tired or too weak to do so, so he just closed his eyes and fell into a sound sleep almost immediately._

_-x-_

_As Tony woke up the next morning, feebly remembering the few times that Jet had awakened him in the night to make sure he was alright, he realized that most of the headache had subsided, so he carefully got up and slowly walked down the stairs into the kitchen where Jet was seated, drinking coffee and reading the paper. As he heard Tony walk in, he looked up and the younger man felt his stomach giving a jolt at the expression Jet was wearing. It was the same look that he had sported the night before in the hospital, the look that Tony hadn't been able to place._

"_You alright?" Jet asked gruffly now._

_Tony only nodded and sat down at the table, intently looking at him, trying to figure out where he had seen that expression before but came up with nothing._

"_Headache gone? Anything else hurting?" he inquired as Tony tried to make eye contact with him but wasn't successful._

"_Not completely but okay. Everything else's fine."_

"_Good," Jet nodded._

_Tony looked at him and couldn't help the sinking feeling in stomach again at the grim look that Jet was giving him._

"_Wh-what's wrong?" he finally asked, unable to stand the silence any longer._

_He heard Jet sigh and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose before he looked up, his eyes finally meeting his own, a look of utter despair on his face._

"_Tony, we need to talk."_

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><p>AN: I'm sorry about the cliffhanger but otherwise the chapter would have been far too long and I promise the next part will be here soon-ish xD  
>Oh, and let me know what you think because reviews make my day! :)<em><br>_


	20. Falling To Pieces Pt 2

_A/N: Already over 200 reviews... awesomeness at its best :) Thanks a lot! _

_I'd like to add that the chapter after this one won't probably be here till the end of the week, with exams and parties coming up xD Hope you like this one, though :)  
><em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty: Falling To Pieces Pt. 2<span>**

"_Tony, we need to talk."_

_Tony looked at him, feeling like he had just been dipped into ice cold water. How many times had he heard that sentence before – or actually how many times had he used it himself, whenever he had been about to break up with someone?_

"_Tony," Jet started over as he remained silent. "What happened yesterday…"_

"_Nothing happened, Jet," Tony interrupted him. "I'm fine, we got the bad guys. Nothing's changed."_

_Jet remained silent for a few moments, staring right back at Tony, who was feeling more uncomfortable with ever second that passed. He unconsciously rubbed his temples and flinched slightly as he touched the new stitches there, reminding him how close it actually had been. But it didn't really matter now, did it?_

"_Nothing happened? Are you kidding me?" Jet asked now, his voice strangely strangled._

"_I'm not kidding," Tony replied truthfully. "It's just a freaking concussion, I'll be up and annoying in no time."_

_Jet pinched the bridge of his nose again as if to buy himself more time and Tony's mind was working overtime by now, trying to avoid the inevitable. Was Jet really just trying to end this thing or was his mind only playing tricks on him? But as the older man finally looked up at him again, his cheeks slightly flushed, his nostrils flaring, Tony saw his hopes dash away immediately._

"_After that bullet had hit the windshield yesterday, I wasn't able to think clearly anymore, Tony. I should have jumped out of the damn car, should have arrested those two bastards immediately. But you wanna know what I did? I just kept on sitting there, staring at you. We're fools to believe that this thing between you and me wouldn't affect work at all."_

"_No, Jet," Tony said now, desperately trying to remain calm._

_He stood up now, closed the distance between them and wanted to take the older man's hand but he wouldn't let him._

"_Listen to me, Jet. Nothing has happened, okay? Ziva and McGee were there, you didn't need to go after those guys."_

"_It doesn't matter, Tony," Jet replied, standing up himself so that they were facing each other now. "I wouldn't have gotten out of the car even if the others weren't there because I just couldn't, you get that?"_

"_No, I don't get it. I don't understand what your problem is."_

_Jet let out an exasperated sigh, putting his hands on his hips._

"_What happened yesterday… it can't happen again. I won't allow myself to be distracted from work. But I can't do that if we're…"_

"_If we're what, Jet?" Tony chimed in, his voice rising. "If we're involved? How does that change anything? You cared about me before, too."_

"_But not like that."_

"_What difference does it make? We have always had each other's back. That hasn't changed one bit. Yeah, I admit, it was a close call yesterday but everything's fine now."_

"_Everything's not fine, Tony," Jet had also raised his voice now, matching Tony's. "Don't you see it? We're in too deep here. This can never work out. There are rules. I'm your freaking boss, we should have thought about it before."_

_Tony let out a sarcastic bark of a laugh, still not believing what Jet was trying to do._

"_We thought and talked about that, remember? We said it didn't matter because it won't affect our job. And it hasn't because _nothing_ has happened yesterday!"_

"_Are you really that naïve, DiNozzo, to actually believe what you've just said?"_

_Tony blinked, taking a step away from Jet now, staring at him, feeling like he had just received a punch in the stomach._

"_DiNozzo is it now?" he asked, his voice nothing more than a whisper and as Jet just stood there, trying to stare him down, Tony continued. "Maybe I'm naïve, maybe I'm fool but at least I haven't lied to you. So why don't you tell me what's really going on?"_

_Jet remained silent for what seemed to be an eternity to Tony. But as he started to talk again, his voice wasn't strangled or raised anymore instead it was even, composed and Tony realized with horror that it was his interrogation voice, the cold one that made any suspect break down._

"_This thing between you and me will not work, Tony. It was a mistake and you know that."_

_Tony shook his head now, trying to catch the other man's eye but failed. "You know what? I don't know! Because only yesterday everything was freaking fine. Remember, we were sitting at the lake, having a damn good time? What has happened between now and then? A stupid bullet that hasn't even grazed me? You gotta be kidding me."_

_This time Jet let out a snort, shaking his head vigorously. The expression on his face had gone from closed off to angry to cold now and Tony felt his insides clench again as he tried to find a way out of this mess, tried to find the words that would make Jet change his mind._

"_Please, Jet," Tony started over, approaching him, once again trying to grab his hand but just like before he pulled away._

"_What do you want from me?" Jet asked, his voice still cold, distant, leaving Tony utterly desperate by now._

"_I want the truth," Tony answered, frantically trying to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay._

"_I already told you the truth, this won't work. We've been stupid to believe that this was the right thing to do. It's only prudent to break it up now before anyone gets hurt."_

_Tony took a deep breath, trying to let the words sink in. This couldn't be true, this wasn't right. What the hell was he even talking about? _

"_I don't think," he finally choked out, "that it could hurt anymore than this now. Just tell me, Jet, tell me that you really don't want me."_

_For a split of a second, Tony was able to see Jet's eyes flicker but then, the composed mask was back on the older man's face and all hopes of actually fixing this thing were gone to a place where Tony would probably never find them again._

"_I don't want you, DiNozzo."_

_Tony felt his heart falter for a few moments before it continued beating in an erratic rhythm. This couldn't be true, this just couldn't be for real. He must surely be dreaming, maybe he had hit his head worse than he had thought and this was only a figment of his imagination. But there he was standing, mere inches away from Jet, almost feeling his breath on him._

"_You know," he finally plucked up the courage to speak as he was sure that his voice wouldn't break. "I thought that you were it. The real thing. But obviously I forgot about who you are. I forgot about that damn second 'b' and that you're unable to let anyone get through to you. All those talks about Shannon and Kelly, didn't they mean anything to you? Did you just need someone to listen to you, someone who was dumb enough to actually believe that all of this was important to you?"_

_He waited a few moments for Jet to answer but the older man just stood there, staring at him with such a grim expression that Tony's heart sank again. So this was it. The End… Finito. _

"_Okay, then," Tony finally continued, realizing that his voice was breaking now after all as he blindly stumbled around Jet's living-room, gathering up his stuff, the tears already building up just beneath his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall, not now, not in front of Jet. "I'll be out of here. You'll have my resignation on your desk by Friday."_

"_Tony," he heard Jet's half-hearted protest but he cut him off now, unable to listen to whatever he had to say._

"_I don't want to hear it. Just… Fuck you, Gibbs. Seriously."_

_And without another word, without as much as a glance at him, he closed the front door behind him._

_-x- Flashback –x-_

So, here he was standing now in front of McGee's apartment in the middle of the night. He wasn't entirely sure why he was there exactly. All he knew was that he desperately needed someone to talk to. And even though his thoughts were hazy by now due to too many beers that he had been drinking ever since he had left Gibbs' house, he didn't really care anymore. He had debated to go to Ducky to talk because he already knew about Gibbs and him but for some reason he had decided against that. Maybe it was the fact that there was no 'b' in Anthony DiNozzo after all and if Gibbs needed someone to talk to, he sure as hell wouldn't take away his only choice. Tony snorted, wondering why he even cared.

He ran his hands over his face now, wiping away the last of his tears before he actually had the guts to knock on McGee's door. It took a few moments before he was able to hear faint footsteps from inside. The door opened a bit, just enough for McGee to see who was standing there. As he apparently realized that it was his Senior Field Agent, he removed the door chain and opened the door entirely, stepping aside to let Tony in.

"What are you doing here? Do we have a case? Everything alright?" McGee finally asked, rubbing his eyes, as Tony had already sat down on one of the revolving chairs in front of the computers.

"Am I disturbing your game, Elf Lord?" Tony tried to joke but even he had to notice that his voice sounded off.

"No," McGee replied now, sitting down across from him. "Is it your head? Is it hurting? And why have you been drinking? Painkillers and alcohol don't mix well, Tony."

"What is this, 21 questions? But yeah, my head is hurting like hell because I haven't taken any painkillers."

"Why not?" The younger man asked, furrowing a brow, concern clearly visible on his face.

"Because I wanted to drink, Probie."

"Okay. That makes sense, I guess."

They remained silent for a few moments with Tony absentmindedly looking at the screen in front of him and McGee fidgeting on his chair.

"Tony, what's wrong?"

"Why do you think something's wrong? Can't I just pay you a friendly visit?"

"You can," McGee answered now, slightly annoyed. "But you usually don't show up at three o'clock in the morning, obviously drunk and clearly upset about something."

Tony let out a laugh, finally looking at McGee and subtly shook his head.

"I need you to do something for me," Tony finally replied, pulling an envelope out of the pocket of his jacket. "Can you give this to Gibbs at work tomorrow?"

McGee furrowed a brow again as he took it, looking at Tony, a serious expression on his face.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself? What is this?"

"My resignation. I'm going to take the rest of my sick leave and then, I'll be…" Tony trailed off, feeling tears already sting his eyes again and he looked away from his partner.

"Tony?"

He felt McGee's hand on his shoulder now and he reluctantly turned to look at him, only to see confusion and maybe even a bit of sadness written on his face.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Tony started but stopped immediately as he saw McGee's eyes boring into his. "I just can't work with Gibbs anymore. I just… can't."

"Why?" McGee prodded, unable to hide the obvious disbelief.

"Things, too many things just… happened. I can't."

Tony felt the first tear running down his cheek and quickly wiped it away but McGee had seen it of course. He put his head in his hands now, elbows on his knees and tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself only to realize that it was a lost battle as more tears escaped his damn eyes. When had he become such a wuss, anyway?

He felt McGee awkwardly pat his back before he cleared his throat.

"Tony, you have to tell me what's up. Otherwise I can't help you."

He remained silent for a few more minutes, trying to get his tears under control and was finally successful in the end. He looked at McGee again, who was still sitting there, looking at him with a slightly frantic expression on his face. Tony would have laughed at him if he hadn't been the reason for it in the first place.

"Remember when you asked me about my new girlfriend, Linda, and I told you that she was special? I lied. In fact, she doesn't even exist, Tim. Truth is, while I actually was dating someone, it wasn't her."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when you wondered where Gibbs had been because he was a bit dressed up and stuff?" As he saw McGee nod, Tony continued. "I was with him that night. That hot date, he was having? It's been me."

McGee's mouth had opened and closed again a few times before it formed a silent "Oh." He stared at him and Tony couldn't quite place the expression now, even though Tim was usually so easy to read. He had expected him to be shocked or at least surprised but apparently it wasn't the case at all.

"So it wasn't a coincidence that you two were kind of happy all of a sudden?" he finally managed to ask.

"No such thing as a coincidence Tim, remember?"

He nodded. "I owe Ziva a hundred bucks now."

Despite himself, Tony let out a laugh, tilting his head to look closer at the probie, whose cheeks had turned slightly pink.

"She, uh, she said that you were like involved. Said you, uh, winked at Gibbs in the elevator or something but I never thought you two would actually…"

Tony gave him a soft smile now, realizing that they had done a poor job in hiding their relationship after all. But it didn't matter anymore, did it?

"Yeah," he sighed now. "Whatever, it's not important anymore. We're done. And I'm sorry I've dragged you into this but I really… just needed someone to talk to, you know."

"It's okay," Tim replied, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "And you're sure that you want to get out of this? I really don't want you to leave the team, Tony."

"I don't want to leave either," Tony said bitterly now. "But I don't have any other choice. I can't work with him anymore. Too much has happened. I just… can't, okay?"

"Okay," his friend answered slowly. "And you're sure there's no way to fix… this thing between you and Gibbs?"

Tony just shook his head, thinking back to the cold expression that Gibbs had been sporting when he had left the house for good. "He said he… didn't want me. Didn't even contradict me, when I said that he had just been playing me. There's just no way, Tim."

Silence delved upon them as McGee obviously tried to grasp what Tony had just said. But then, to Tony's surprise, he shook his head vigorously.

"There's got to be a way, DiNozzo," he said now, his voice determined all of a sudden.

"I'm telling you, there isn't."

"Want my two cents?"

"Sure," Tony shrugged, "I don't have any other choice anyway, do I?"

"No, you don't, after all you came here to talk to me," McGee answered, slightly proud.

"I don't know what has happened between Gibbs and you to make you… like this. And I'm really sorry you are. But as I said before, you two seemed to be happy. I mean it was pretty obvious with you, smiling a lot, easing up on the pranks and stuff. But even with Gibbs… it was like he was this whole different person those last few weeks. I don't say that just anyone would notice but Ziva and I have talked about it and he seemed to be genuinely content lately. I mean, sure he was still the grumpy boss and stuff but he was more… balanced, I guess. And now that I know that you two were involved, it only leads to the conclusion that you've done each other good. You were both happy. That just can't have vanished over one fight. I don't know what you two did fight about but couldn't it be that one of you simply freaked out? But I guess it's even normal that you react the way you do right now. But ask yourself the question, Tony, would you be that devastated, as you now obviously are, if it wasn't worth fighting for what you had?"

Tony stared at him, mouth slightly hanging open as he let the words slowly sink in.

"I don't think I heard you talk that much ever since your monologue on jetpacks."

Tim snorted but didn't avert his glance from him as he handed him back the envelope. Slightly surprised, Tony took it and stared at it for a moment.

"I won't give it to him or to Vance. You have to do it yourself. I've never taken you for one to run away from things. Go home and think about it. You don't have to listen to me but don't make that kind of decision over one fight and a couple of beers because I really don't want to see you like this ever again and I don't want you to leave the team, either. So think about it, okay? Not just for you but for Ziva and me and maybe even for Gibbs. I'll call you a cab."

With that and one last squeeze on Tony's shoulder, Tim stood up, pulled out his cell and vanished into his bedroom, leaving Tony sitting there, staring at the envelope in his hands more than just a bit confused.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Suggestions? Complaints? Reviews?  
>Let me know what you think!<em> ;)


	21. Musings

_A/N: A bit sooner than I thought :) As always, thank you so much for your reviews :) Keep them coming! :)  
>I really hope you like this part as it is rather an in-between-chapter... but once again, I needed one of those xD<em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-One: Musings<span>**

Tony knew that he should probably get up, take a shower, just do anything, really. Ever since he had gotten home from his late night visit at McGee's, he hadn't left his bed, except for when nature had called. He knew that he should eat, too, because, really, beer wasn't exactly food, was it? However, besides lying in bed for two days now, it wasn't like he hadn't done anything. He had been drinking a lot, had watched lots of movies and he had wallowed in self-pity.

He wondered what was up with him. This wasn't like him, hiding from the world in his bed-room for days, not feeling like eating anything, not feeling like watching a movie. He had done that anyway, just trying to get rid of his own thoughts, trying to get rid of that grim expression on Jet's – no Gibbs' – face.

He turned around so that he was facing the nightstand now and grabbed an envelope that was lying upon it. He turned it around in his hands a few times before he tossed it to the floor. He sighed and wondered whether he was actually thinking about taking relationship advice from McGee, of all people, Mr. Awkward-About-Anything-Romantic. Was he really that desperate? As he came to think about it, Tony realized, he probably was. But still, what was there actually to think about? It wasn't like he had been the one that had ended a perfectly good relationship. It wasn't his decision that had landed him in his bed, pitying himself.

But he also knew that Tim was right about one thing. Wasn't there any chance of actually going back to work? After all, he loved his job and he was missing his people already. But could he really go back, let himself get ordered around by the bastard called Gibbs without going crazy, without his heart breaking into pieces all over again? The other question was, whether or not Gibbs even wanted him to still be there. He hadn't said anything to stop him when he was storming out of his house but then again, he hadn't said all that much after all, hadn't said all that much that actually made sense to Tony. This was just a whole lot of mess that Tony had to figure out and he had no idea where to even start.

As he was just about to switch on yet another movie, his phone signaled him that he had a text message. Reluctantly, he picked it up, not really in the mood to communicate with anyone. He sighed as the name McGee showed up on his display. He had to text him back at least.

_U okay?_

Tony sighed, wondering how in the world he was supposed to answer that. He could take the easy way out and just text back that he was okay. But he also knew that McGee knew him too well by now, had seen him cry two days before and he wouldn't be able to fool him with that. But Tony couldn't text back that he was feeling like crap either. He didn't want to worry Tim and didn't want him to show up to check on him.

_I'm alive. _He finally wrote. _Still thinking._

Yeah, that would work and he hadn't lied to him. He hoped that McGee would get the message that he didn't want to see anybody at the moment. Tony had barely thrown the cell phone back onto the nightstand that it beeped again.

_K. Got a case atm. Looks like open and shut. Could still use you here._

Despite himself, Tony felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth, maybe he wasn't that big of a loser after all. At least McGee seemed to want him back… or was he just trying to cheer him up?

_I'm sure the probies are all good without me. U told Ziva?_

This time, Tony didn't bother to get rid of the phone and he didn't have to wait long before it beeped again.

_No. But she's wondering because Gibbs looks miserable, too._

Tony felt his heart skip a beat as if this was exactly what he needed to hear - or read actually. Why did it make him feel better, knowing that Gibbs apparently wasn't all that happy about that mess either? He knew that it was stupid because why would he wish for someone to feel miserable? Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, a little voice told him that Gibbs had been the bastard and he deserved to be at least a bit miserable…

-x-

"You got no work to do, McGee, or why do you keep staring at your phone?" Gibbs growled, slightly annoyed.

It wasn't like the beeping was annoying him. No, it was the fact that he wanted McGee and Ziva to finally finish up their reports and go home for the rest of the weekend. Rarely had he wished for a glass of bourbon and his boat that much like in the last two days. He had tried to block Tony's face as he had left his house from his mind but of course, it wouldn't do him the favor. His absence in the office didn't do any good either as Gibbs' glance would wander to his empty desk on its own accord, leaving him strangely empty inside.

He felt McGee's eyes upon him now and looked up, surprised that McGee didn't look away immediately as he usually did but met his eyes squarely.

"Got a problem?"

"No, Boss," the younger man replied, holding the eye contact for a few more moments before he finally looked back at his computer screen.

Gibbs furrowed a brow before he rubbed his hand over his face, trying to focus back on writing his own report, trying to remember every little detail but literally came up with nothing. He sighed, picked up his cup of coffee and sipped on it, hoping it would ease his mind.

-x-

Two hours later, McGee and Ziva had finally grabbed their stuff and had gone home and Gibbs was just about to do the same as he heard slow footsteps coming towards him and he looked up, only to see Ducky's stern face.

"What are you still doing here, Duck?"

"Had an interesting talk with Mr. Palmer to finish."

"Ah," Gibbs just replied, opening the drawer of his desk to retrieve his gun and badge.

"Ah, yes, Jethro," Ducky continued just as Gibbs had hoped that he would be able to evade his questions. "When does Anthony return for duty?"

"His sick leave is over on Monday."

Ducky looked at him for a moment, tilting his head ever so slightly as if he could look at him closer that way and Gibbs felt his gut starting to churn as he realized that the ME wouldn't let him off the hook that easily.

"That's not was I was asking, Jethro."

Gibbs sighed and sat down on his chair again, pinching the bridge of his nose before he shrugged.

"I don't know, Duck."

"You don't know when he's coming back or you don't know if he's coming back?"

"I don't know."

"What did you do to him?"

Gibbs looked up now trying to decide to just brush it off but as he looked into Ducky's eyes now, he knew that the older man would not let it rest until he got at least something.

"What makes you think that _I _did something?"

Ducky let out an exasperated sigh and gave him a look that shut him up for a moment but he recovered quickly, he was Leroy Jethro Gibbs after all, he was not to be stared down.

"I think it was you because if young Anthony would have done something wrong, he would follow your every step, would comply with your every wish, silently begging for forgiveness because you wouldn't let him say it aloud."

Gibbs subtly shook his head, really not in the mood to justify himself. He knew he had done the right thing. He had to be at his best to be able to protect his people. He couldn't let something like what happened with Tony in that car happen again. One moment of distraction and he could have killed all of them. It was prudent, it was logical and he'd rather have Tony resign, ask for a transfer or hate him for the rest of his life than jeopardize his life again like that.

"You do not really believe what you are thinking, do you?" Duck's voice interrupted his train of thought.

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking, Jethro. That he distracted you from your duty and that it could have ended rather badly."

"It's the truth."

"You are fooling yourself."

Gibbs snorted, slowly getting impatient. "Yeah, right."

"I don't appreciate your attitude, my dear Jethro."

"What attitude, Duck? You're the one accusing me of lying and being stupid."

"That is because you are acting like that. Don't get me wrong, I know where you are coming from but don't let Anthony carry the can for your mess. It isn't his fault, you know."

"I'm doing no such thing. I've never said it was his fault. This just wasn't right, my rules are there for a reason."

"Okay, then," Ducky replied, already on his way to the elevators. "Just keep lying to yourself but don't be surprised if you're losing Anthony and other people on the way."

Gibbs forcefully relaxed his hands that had balled into fists. Maybe Ducky wasn't as omniscient as he had been thinking. He couldn't have been more wrong about any of that. He knew that he was probably losing Tony over this but that had got to be better than having him lying on the older man's metallic tables down in autopsy…

-x-

Tony took a deep breath and tried to pluck up his courage to actually get out of his Mustang and enter the building. He had been sitting in his car for almost half an hour but hadn't quite been able to decide what he wanted to do. After spending the rest of Saturday and the whole of Sunday alone in his bed, he had finally found the right frame of mind to collect his thoughts. He had even made a pro-con-list as if it would help with the uneasiness of his heart. But at the end of the day, he had to realize that the pros outranked the cons by far – at least in quantity. He was missing Abby like hell, was missing his and Ziva's banters and he knew he owed McGee for showing up at his apartment in the middle of the night. So, he had decided to try going back to work as if nothing had ever happened. He figured that it couldn't possibly be that bad seeing Gibbs again. At least, that had been his plan late last night and this morning but that wasn't before he had arrived in the garage of the headquarters. Suddenly, alone the notion of being in the same room with Jet, of being stared at, was unbearable and his heart had started pumping rather quickly not long afterwards. By now, he was sweating and he was almost sure that he would just start the engine and go home again. This was just too much…

As his hands were already fumbling with the keys, he heard a knock on the side window and as he looked up, he saw the crooked smile of the autopsy gremlin. Tony sighed and finally opened the door. Now that Jimmy had seen him, there was no way of pretending to need another few days to heal completely.

"Hey," he lamely greeted the younger man.

"You're feeling alright? Look kind of pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just… Mondays, you know," Tony replied, flashing his trademark grin and it seemed to work as Jimmy only nodded and started to tell some story about his weekend.

Tony wasn't really paying attention, after all, he'd had years of practice listening to Ducky and Jimmy had apparently finally learned something from his mentor and was seemingly unable to shut up.

A few minutes later, Tony had nodded goodbye to him and was now on his way up to the bullpen. He had been taking the steps because with his luck he would surely meet Gibbs in the elevator and he wasn't ready yet to face the man alone. As he finally was at their floor, he tried to put on his best smile, trying to get his heart rate back to normal and took a deep breath. This would work. He was just there to try out this thing. If it wouldn't work, he could still hand in his resignation that was almost burning a hole into the pocket of his coat. Everything would be fine, he wouldn't lose Abby or McGee or Ziva over this…

"Morning Probies," he greeted them cheerfully, hoping that Ziva wouldn't hear the slight shake in his voice.

"Morning," Ziva replied absentmindedly, her gaze fixed on her screen, scrunching up her nose.

Tony decided that it was for the best and settled down at his desk, relieved that Gibbs wasn't there for the moment. He quickly glanced over to where McGee was sitting and as their eyes met, Tim gave him a wide smile and a nod as if Tony had just saved his life by showing up. Tony just shrugged and tried to give him a lopsided grin, not sure whether or not it was actually working.

"I am glad, you are back, Tony," Ziva had finally averted her glance from the screen. "This way Gibbs will not be as insufferable as he has been the last couple of days."

Tony quickly looked up before he cast his eyes down again. "Wouldn't count on that," he mumbled.

Out of the corners of his eye he saw Ziva open her mouth and close it a moment later as her eyes had drifted towards McGee.

"Grab your gear," a voice growled from somewhere behind him and Tony felt his insides freeze for a moment before he willed himself to relax. "David, gas up the truck, maybe I won't be that insufferable when you don't see me for five minutes."

Ziva's eyes had grown big now and she flushed slightly. Tony would have grinned at the sight, if he hadn't been busy with keeping himself in check.

"Sorry, Gibbs," Ziva started to apologize but was cut off.

"McGee, DiNozzo, get your asses moving, I don't have all day."

And with that, Gibbs marched into the elevator without as much as a glance towards the general direction of where Tony was seated. Tony felt himself tense up but grabbed his gear nonetheless. It wasn't like he had any other choice anyway. He had known that it wouldn't be easy to work with the man, with whom he had spent the last couple of weeks in some kind of unreal bliss, again but still, he hadn't been prepared for the force that had seemed to hit him as soon as he had heard his voice again. But he'd have to work through it, if he didn't want to ruin his career, his life. So, just like any goddamn St. Bernard would do, he trotted faithfully to the elevators, not sure why he really wanted to stand mere inches away from Gibbs.

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think! :) Reviews would be awesome!_


	22. Interludes

_A/N: Just as always, thank you so much for your continuous reviews and feedback! :)_

_Another rather slow chapter but things will get more exciting again after this one, I promise! xD_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Two: Interludes<span>**

Three weeks and four stressful cases later, Tony still wasn't sure whether or not he had made the right decision in coming back to work. Even though they had settled in their usual work routine, Tony still had to fight against his own thoughts every morning. He just asked himself day after day why he was doing this, why he was so much of a masochist in regards of facing Gibbs every day. He knew that it wasn't healthy what he had been doing. They had barely talked to each other those last couple of weeks, except for gruff orders from Gibbs and Tony's remarks whenever he had found another lead on one of the cases. Tony hadn't gotten head-slapped, either. But that was maybe because he was just doing his work, no ramblings about movies and no jokes. He knew that McGee, Ziva and especially Abby had grown worried lately but he just couldn't help it. He just wasn't feeling like himself.

He still wasn't sure why exactly he was torturing himself like that. But he just couldn't bring himself to resign, he just couldn't. McGee's smiling face as he had first come back to work showed up in front of his inner eye whenever he just thought about it. The thought of leaving Abby behind was just as haunting as losing Ziva's trust again. She had lost too many people in her life already, he didn't want to be the next one. But whenever Tony was letting his guard down, within the safe walls of his apartment, drinking his usual four beers before going to bed, he knew that he hoped that everything would just go back to normal. That everything would still be the same before anything had happened – good and bad.

-x-

Gibbs sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, wondering if things would ever be the same again. He was a loner alright, had never been bothered about silence. But those last three weeks had been some of the worst he had ever lived through. It was not even the fact that DiNozzo refused to look at him, refused to talk to him, was always leaving the office before anyone else could, making sure that he wouldn't be alone with him if only for a few seconds, no, it was the fact that he felt McGee's eyes on him more often than usually, that he seemed to be angry with him. There might be a chance that he knew what was going on because he seemed to be perfectly good friends with Tony lately, never a victim of DiNozzo's pranks. But then again, when had he joked anyhow? Ducky was treating Gibbs just like he had always done, though he somehow seemed to be more reluctant, saving his long monologues for Jimmy and Abby.

Gibbs knew that it was all his fault, he should have never gotten involved with Tony like that because they had screwed up their dynamic apparently beyond repair. It had been a bad idea from the beginning and Gibbs all but prayed that DiNozzo would finally realize that fact and would go back to normal because a serious Tony was doing no one any good. Deep down, though, Gibbs knew that it must have taken the younger man all his courage to go back to work in the first place. He had really thought that he would resign and as much as Gibbs hated the idea of being without his Senior Field Agent, he knew that it would probably be the best for Tony. The way he was just a little too focused on work, the way his eyes were darting restlessly around the room, the way he looked more tired day after day after day, made Jethro's gut churn. But what was he supposed to do about that? Just… what?

-x-

"Hey Tony."

Tony turned around to face Abby who had apparently been running to catch up on him just as he was entering the elevator. He tried to give her a whole-hearted smile but had to realize that the corners of his mouth barely even twitched.

"What's up, Abs?"

"Do you want to go out tonight? Timmy, Ziva, Palmer, Breena and I are meeting at the usual bar at around 2100. You interested?"

"I don't know," Tony sighed, having looked forward to a lonely evening with a couple of beers and a stupid movie. "I'm really beat today."

He watched Abby's hands go to her hips and her eyes boring into his, matching Gibbs' death stare almost to perfection and Tony's stomach clenched as if the boss had just spoken to him for the first time in three weeks.

"You don't have a choice, DiNozzo," Abby continued now. "We're worried. You need to go out. Sitting alone in your apartment isn't good for you."

"I'm perfectly fine. And who says that I don't have anyone to spend my evening with?"

"Anyone, whose name isn't Sean Connery?" Abby pressed, concern clearly noticeable in her voice.

Tony just shook his head, holding up his hands in defeat. "Okay, I'm in."

"Awesome, Tony," Abby hugged him before she let go and all but skipped to her car.

-x-

Tony let the conversations float pass him, barely participating in whatever the others had to talk about. He had paid the beers his best attention for the last couple of hours and was now getting more and more drunk. He pretended to listen to something that Breena was just telling them, something about her uncle and his cat as he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulders and he turned around, now facing a beautiful blonde woman, smiling broadly at him.

"Wanna dance with me?"

Tony thought about it for a moment before he shook his head. "No, I'm here with my friends, sorry."

"Come on, one dance can't hurt."

"Oh, it can," Tony replied, suddenly getting angry for reasons even unknown to himself. "I just want to sit here and talk to my friends."

The woman looked at him for a moment longer before she turned around and stalked away.

"Tony?" He heard Jimmy's irritated voice next to him and he turned towards them again, only to look into their surprised faces.

"What?" Tony asked indignantly. "Would you rather have me off your backs?"

"N-No," Jimmy replied somewhat confused.

"While we appreciate the sentiment, Tony," Abby joined the conversation. "It'd be nice, if you actually talked to us."

"What do you want from me? You wanted me here, so I came. Now you're telling me I'm too quiet?"

"That's not what I meant and you know that. Just what _is _up with you? You don't go out anymore, you're serious all the time, you're rejecting beautiful women. That's not normal, Tony."

"So what?" Tony had stood up now, his voice rising. "You got a problem with that, then tell me."

He looked around for a moment but nobody answered and Tony felt his temper rise. He balled his hands into fists now, internally counting to ten before he dared to speak again.

"Okay, then. I'll get going. See you tomorrow at work."

With that, he all but stormed out the bar, not once looking back, not caring what they thought about him. Apparently, they had been talking about him behind his back and were on some kind of rescue mission. But what were they thinking? That all his problems would just magically vanish by spending an evening with them? It wasn't their problem anyway, so why would they even bother? He just wanted to be left alone… maybe the decision to come back to work had been a stupid one after all.

He was still fumbling with his keys, trying to unlock his car as he heard hesitant footsteps behind him.

"Tony, let me drive you home, okay? You've had too many beers."

Sighing, Tony replied. "I'm _fine_, Abby. Just go back inside."

"Fine, you're fine. But you're not good to drive. So, come on."

Sighing again, he turned around, let his keys drop into her hand and rounded the car to get onto the passenger seat. They spent most of the drive in silence and Tony's bad mood subsided a bit, as he realized that they had probably meant well.

"Listen, Abs," he finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry about before. That was out of line."

"Yeah, it was. But, Tony, we're just worried about you, okay? You haven't been yourself lately and we just meant to cheer you up a bit."

"I know," Tony groaned, rubbing his hand over his face.

"What's wrong?" Abby softly asked now, turning over as they reached his apartment building.

"It's," Tony paused, finally settling on "complicated."

"So, hit me. I'm Miss Complicated, remember?"

Tony let out a bark of a laugh before he turned to look out the side window and remained silent, unsure whether he really wanted to talk. It would probably be for the best but something held him back.

"I don't want to talk about it," he finally answered, hoping that Abby would just let it go.

"Tony, come on," he felt Abby's hand on his thigh now, causing him to finally turn to look at her. "It's me, you used to tell me anything, remember?"

As Tony looked into her green eyes, he felt panic and remorse both creeping up his spine, leaving him restless, almost hopeless. He couldn't handle it and he realized only now that he would go crazy, if he kept on not talking to anyone.

"A few weeks ago," he started, averting his glance again. "Gibbs and me… we kind of, you know, started something."

"Something? Like a relationship?" Tony heard the excitement in Abby's voice and he sighed inwardly.

"Yeah, like a relationship. And everything went just smoothly, I guess. We worked out our issues, insecurities and stuff. Everything just seemed to be so easy, so flawless and come to think about it, I should have known that nothing in life just comes that easily. Then, after that stupid car chase, he just… I don't even know what happened, from one moment to the next, he's telling me all of this is a mistake, that I don't mean shit to him."

Tony trailed off, fighting against his tears and winning for the moment. He was still staring out the side window but was able to see Abby's reflection move and only moments later, he felt her arm around his shoulders.

"Thanks for telling me."

Tony turned his head now. That had been a weird response to his inner battles that he had been fighting for weeks, hadn't it?

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Abby dragged out the word, slightly blushing. "I kind of figured it out on my own. Not that that was hard to do, even McGee has figured it out. Though, when I asked him about it two weeks ago, he told me to leave you alone, that it was none of our business, so that did kind of confirm the whole thing."

Tony sighed and leaned his head back against the head rest, closing his eyes. Wasn't he the king of undercover missions? How could he have slipped up so badly that apparently everyone had been able to connect the dots?

"You sure you two can't talk things out?"

"Abs, have you seen the guy lately? He's grumpier than a starved bear after hibernation. Besides, what is there to talk about anyway? He basically told me to get lost, told me that those weeks that we spent together didn't mean anything to him."

"I'm sure that's not true. Gibbs would never say things like that."

"He did, Abby," he whispered now and averted his glance again, already regretting having told her as he really didn't want to think about it ever again.

"Then… he's just freaking out. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. Are you sure, you're not overreacting?"

"Abby, stop defending him already. Take his side if you don't believe me, it doesn't matter anymore."

"I'm not taking any sides, you're both my friends. Besides, what do you mean, it doesn't matter anymore?"

"I've… I've tried to work with him like nothing has ever happened those last three weeks but with every day I have to see him, talk to him, hell, look at him, the knife just keeps on stabbing my heart and I can't take it anymore." Tony gulped, trying to get rid of the knot inside of him. "I think I'm going to resign."

"No, Tony!"

He turned to look at her again, shock now clearly visible on her face.

"You cannot do that. What am I supposed to do without you? Timmy's not ready to be Senior Field Agent and you really want to leave Ziva behind, too? After you went halfway round the world to rescue her from Somalia? I'll talk to Gibbs, I'm sure you two can work it out… just please, don't leave NCIS."

"Abby, shh," Tony took her hand now as tears started to run down her cheeks. "You know that McGee's more than ready and just because I'm leaving NCIS, it doesn't mean that we can't see each other anymore. And please, don't talk to Gibbs, like McGee said, it's none of your business. This thing is between me and him and that's it. I don't want any of you to get involved there, it's not your fight. But I can't stay, Abby, this is tearing me apart. I've tried but I can't. I'm sorry."

Now that he had said it out loud, he knew that it was the truth. He needed to leave the team, needed to get away from Gibbs in order to get better, to get back on track. He was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic, was only a shadow of himself and he knew that he couldn't keep going like that – it just wasn't possible.

He held Abby in his arms for what seemed to be a very long time until her tears were finally dried. He listened to Abby's heartfelt though infertile pleadings to think it over but he brushed them off as gently as he could. He finally got out the car, told Abby to drive it home to her place, he'd get it the next morning and then, he quickly made his way into his apartment, hoping the day would finally come to an end.

-x-

Gibbs groaned as his cell phone was ringing somewhere next to him and he shortly squinted at the alarm clock. It was only two o'clock in the morning. This had to be about another case. They had just closed the previous one the day before but Gibbs felt a grim satisfaction rising inside of him as he realized that a new case meant a lot of distractions – for both him and DiNozzo.

"Yeah, Gibbs," he finally picked up the phone.

"Gibbs, it's Abby."

She sounded frantic and Gibbs quickly sat up, suddenly wide awake.

"What's wrong, Abs? Are you hurt?"

"Damn well, I'm hurt, Gibbs. I just dropped off Tony at his place and he told me that he's going to resign next thing in the morning. I don't care whatever issues you've got, Bossman, but you can't let that happen. We need him, we need the obnoxious movie references and his jokes and you know it. I don't care how you do it but you have to make it up to him, he just can't leave NCIS. He's got no one besides us, he's going to drown himself in self-pity and his beers. Just make it better, Gibbs. Just do it."

With that, the line went dead and Gibbs looked dumbfounded at his cell for a moment, not sure what had just happened. Had he heard right? Was DiNozzo actually resigning? Gibbs thought that it had been a good sign that he had returned to work pretty quickly and sure, he had noticed the changes in the younger man but he had been thinking that it would get better, that they would find their rhythm again. Apparently, he had been wrong about that and his insides bundled up. He felt strangely clueless, was strangely stuck and he had no idea how to make this whole thing right again. How was he supposed to persuade him to stay with the team? Did he even want him to stay? Yes, he sure as hell did. But then, he realized with a start that the team had slowly been falling apart those last couple of weeks, with McGee's silent anger, with Ziva's obvious confusion and Tony's state of being miserable. He just didn't know how to make DiNozzo feel better, when he was one hundred percent sure that he had done the right thing before. So what was he supposed to do to make it alright for Abby again? He just didn't know.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be rad!_


	23. Reverse Gears

_A/N: Thanks again for the great feedback! :) I'm seriously considering only writing in-between-chapters, if I'll always get such a response. Nah, just kidding... things are going to move forward again ;)  
>Hope you like this one! <em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Three: Reverse Gears<span>**

As Gibbs walked into the bullpen early the next morning, the third coffee of the day in his hand, he still didn't have a solution or had gotten any sleep after Abby's call. He hadn't even sat down as the elevators behind him dinged again and to his surprise a rather tired-looking DiNozzo made his way to his desk. Gibbs quickly glanced at his watch, wondering what he was doing here so early. But when DiNozzo didn't stop at his own desk but walked towards him, an envelope in his hands, he knew that he hadn't changed his mind and Gibbs felt his insides clench.

Without a word, DiNozzo tossed the envelope towards him before he turned around and settled in his chair, starting his computer like it was the most natural thing in the world. With trembling hands, Gibbs opened the envelope and quickly skimmed the first paper. He didn't need to look too closely to know that it was indeed Tony's resignation. Gibbs was sure that the younger man had the exact same paper somewhere for Vance to read, too.

He quickly glanced at him but Tony's eyes were focused on his computer screen. Gibbs sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before he took the second piece of paper. To his surprise, this one was hand-written and Gibbs recognized Tony's scrawl. He looked for his glasses, found them in one of the drawers and started to read.

_Jet – _

_I've tried, I really tried but I know I cannot keep going like this. I thought that I could act like nothing has ever happened but I've been lying to myself and anyone else for that matter and as much as it hurts, I think resigning is my only option. I'll stay the obligatory month until you find a replacement and then I'm out of here. I don't know what I'm going to do but I know that I want to stay in DC or somewhere close because I don't want to lose the only family I've ever known – and that family does include you, too. The thing is, I really want to stay but this is tearing me apart, knowing that things will never be the same again, knowing that you're not even able to look at me without seeing the disappointment that I obviously am. Breaking yet another rule of yours, I'm sorry about all of that, truly sorry. _

_Tony_

Gibbs blinked as he read the letter for the second time, not quite sure that DiNozzo had actually written that, was actually thinking that he was a disappointment. Had he conveyed the sentiment in any way? He looked up now, facing a Tony who was still staring intently at his computer screen but only now did Gibbs realize that his eyes weren't moving. He wasn't actually reading anything. Gibbs stood up, almost carefully approaching the younger agent.

"DiNozzo."

He looked up now, for the first time in three weeks actually looking at him and Gibbs was able to see the sadness in his eyes.

"Don't," he said with such determination that Gibbs took a step backwards. "I don't need your blessing. I just wanted to let you know before I hand it over to Vance. Seemed fairer that way."

Gibbs nodded curtly, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in his chest. He felt himself starting to sweat. He took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked at DiNozzo again, whose gaze was still determinedly fixed on him and Gibbs realized with a start that the younger man had made his decision and that he could do nothing about it because once Tony made a decision, he stuck to it – whatever may come. He cleared his throat now, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"I can talk to Fornell, maybe he's got something for you."

"I appreciate it but don't. I'll be fine on my own."

"Okay," Gibbs sighed, feeling utterly devastated by now.

Just as he was able to hear Ziva and McGee walking towards them, he added. "If you change your mind."

Tony nodded almost imperceptibly before he turned to look at the screen again, leaving Gibbs standing there, blinking rapidly, almost desperately trying to get a grip on himself.

-x-

Tony tried to keep his breathing in check, tried to appear as busy as he could. He knew that Gibbs was still standing there, staring at him but he couldn't quite bring himself to look at him again. He couldn't keep on staring into his face that had discomfort written all over it. Tony was sure that he had done the right thing in resigning because ever since he had given Gibbs the envelope, a giant load seemed to have been taken off his chest and he could finally breathe easy again. He still hated the idea of not seeing the others on a regular basis but he could still hang out with them and that was better than nothing, was even better than what they had been doing those last three weeks.

Ziva and McGee greeted them, Tim furrowing a brow as he saw Gibbs standing in the middle of the bullpen but didn't comment. When they had finally settled at their desks, Tony felt Gibbs move more than he actually saw it and as he looked up again, Tony was facing Ziva who was eyeing him suspiciously. He reached for his phone and dialed Abby's number. He waited for a few moments before she picked up.

"Hey Abs, can you come up for a moment?"

"Sure thing, Tony. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, fine."

"I'll be right up."

Tony hung up and dialed another number. The talk with Ducky went along the same lines and five minutes later, Abby, Palmer and Ducky had joined them in the bullpen.

"Guys," Tony started uncomfortably, looking at all of them and yet not looking at them at the same time. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to resign. Know that you can't change my mind and that all of you mean a great deal to me because otherwise this wouldn't be that hard."

"Then don't leave," Abby chimed in, tears already threatening to fall from her eyes.

"No, Abby." Tony replied, staring at his shoes, unable to look at her any longer. "I have to, it's time. I've been here for ten years and I need to find a new challenge for myself. I'll still be around though, whenever one of you guys needs me or anything. I'm not walking away from our friendship, just… from the job."

He looked into four faces now, each of them in their own way fighting the surprise, the realization and Tony blinked a few times, trying to not let it show how much all of this was really affecting him. Only one face was turned away and he saw Ducky facing Gibbs now. He couldn't see Gibbs' expression however because Ducky was blocking him from view.

"And you are okay with this, Jethro?" he asked now, his voice strangely strained, yet angry and Tony had never heard him talk like that, especially not to Gibbs.

"Not my decision to make, Duck."

Tony was able to see the ME shake his head at his boss before he turned around again and walked towards Tony, reaching out his hand.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Anthony. But I do wish you luck for whatever may cross your path from now on."

"Thanks, Ducky."

With that the doctor walked out the bullpen with Jimmy following his lead. Tony looked at Abby now. Tears were openly streaming down her cheeks as she pulled him in one of her famous bear hugs, practically breaking his ribs. After a few moments, she let go of him, giving him a kiss on his cheek before she turned but not to go back into her lab but to stare at Gibbs with such ferocity that it made Tony's heart skip a beat. What in the world?

"I trusted you to make it alright, Gibbs."

The older man didn't reply anything just continued to stare at some open files in front of him, appearing not to have listened to a single word she said. Tony internally winced. So Abby had apparently talked to him after she had dropped him off but that was only part of why Tony suddenly felt even more uncomfortable. It just wasn't like Gibbs to ignore her like that and even worse to break her trust in him. Tony was one thing but Abby was a whole different matter. She had always been his favorite and Tony hated to see that he had driven a wedge between them. This was so wrong…

He was still staring at the stoic Gibbs as Abby had already turned to walk away, leaving the team standing in the middle of the bullpen in some kind of shock.

"You're, uh," McGee finally started, looking back and forth between Gibbs and Tony. "Not leaving like today, are you?"

"No, Tim. I still have to work for a month. But I think I'm going take my comp time and if I'm not mistaken I've only got three more days of work before I'm gone."

That apparently had caught Gibbs's attention as his head shot up and his blue eyes connected with Tony's for a moment. He saw the familiar flicker in them again but the older agent looked away so quickly that Tony wondered if he had even looked up in the first place.

"Are you sure there is nothing we can do to convince you to stay?"

"No, Ziva, I'm sorry, there isn't. But I meant what I said back in Somalia, okay?"

He locked eyes with her and he was able to see the sadness but still a spark of hope in her eyes and that was all what he needed to know. She'd be alright. Everything would be alright eventually.

Just as he was about to start talking again, Gibbs' cell phone disrupted the silence and after a few 'hmm's, Gibbs stood up.

"Grab you gear, we got a case."

-x-

Gibbs still hadn't regained his composure when they finally arrived at the crime scene. Dispatch had been very vague about what had happened, so he didn't really know what he was about to face. He had hoped to have a quiet week as the quietness usually made him more comfortable, gave him time to think things over. Would have given him the time to figure out why DiNozzo's resignation tugged at all the wrong places inside of him. He was angry alright, was disappointed, was torn and was devastated all at once.

He got out the car and approached a local LEO, showing him his badge.

"What do we got?" he asked while they walked into a well-kept house.

Entering the living-room, Jethro felt his insides freeze at the sight in front of him and he stopped listening to the police officer's remarks. A young woman was lying on the couch, her white blouse drenched in blood. The shooter had apparently aimed quite well as there seemed to be only one entry wound right where her heart was. As if that wasn't enough, her arms were still loosely wrapped around a girl that couldn't have been older than nine or ten years, who had died because of a head shot as far as Gibbs could see from where he was standing. The mother had apparently tried to keep the little girl out of harm's way but hadn't been successful in the end.

"Molly Shriver, 32," he heard McGee's voice somewhere from a distance. "And her daughter Mia, aged 8, Boss."

Gibbs winced internally as he turned to look at the young agent, who was reading the information from whatever gadget it was that he was looking at.

"Father?" Gibbs asked, hoping that the others wouldn't notice his strangled voice.

"Uh," McGee said, apparently searching for the information for a moment. "Petty Officer First Class Fredrick Shriver, right now stationed in Afghanistan."

Gibbs felt himself tense up even more now and forced his hands to stop trembling.

"Ziva, sketches. McGee, bag and tag. DiNozzo, photos."

-x-

Tony remained standing there for a moment, alternately staring at the two victims and Gibbs, who was standing there stiffly, apparently trying to collect his thoughts. He was able to see the strain on his face now, his hands balled into fists, his shoulders tense. This was one of those cases that would drive him crazy the next couple of hours and days, that wouldn't let him rest one second until the bastard that did this was behind bars. Tony knew why, of course, one didn't need to be a genius to realize that the age of the poor girl would strike close to home as did the father being far away on duty. Tony sighed and was about to finally get to work as Gibbs suddenly looked up and made eye contact with him and Tony was able to see the same vulnerability in them like when they had been sitting at the lake, talking about his and Kelly's camping trips.

Tony held the eye contact for a moment, wondering if his boss would say anything but before he had even formed the thought in his mind, Gibbs had already barked at him again.

"Photos, Tony."

"Right. On it," he replied, not failing to notice the use of his first name.

-x-

Later that night, Gibbs was pacing around the interrogation room. They had taken in a suspect an hour previously as neighbors had told them about a man who had been lurking around for the last couple of months. One of them had recalled that the Shrivers had considered a restraining order against him. Gibbs' gut was telling him that he was the right guy but the bastard had yet to confess. He finally sat down opposite of the suspect.

"Mr. Clarke, where have you been early this morning, around 0600?"

"At home in my bed," came back the prompt answer.

"Any witnesses for that?"

"No," he snarled now, stoically staring at the wall on his right hand side.

"You've had problems with the Shriver family before, am I right? If I'm not mistaken, you and Mrs. Shriver were high-school sweethearts?"

"Yeah, we were and she still loved me, only that idiot of a husband failed to see that and threatened to push charges if I ever came near their house ever again."

"And why was he threatening you?"

"I showed up at the house unannounced a couple of times but Molly refused to see me, clearly because that idiot told her so."

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments, pondering how to make him crack the quickest. He just wanted to get out of here, wanted to seek comfort in sanding his boat and a couple glasses of bourbon. It wouldn't make him forget about the case, about Tony resigning but it would certainly be better than staring into that bastard's face.

"Ever thought about that she actually didn't want to see you anymore? Ever thought about that she loved her husband and her daughter?"

"No, no," Clarke replied now, slightly frantic, "She never got over me. I know she loved me."

"Oh yeah? Is that why you decided to kill her and little Mia?"

For the first time, the suspect turned to look at him, staring at him with such anger that Gibbs felt his insides clench again. That bloody bastard…

"Who said I did?"

"I do. I can see it in your face. You just went there this morning, finally having enough of it, didn't you? Thinking, if you can't have her, nobody can, especially not Fredrick Shriver, am I right?"

He saw something in Clarke's eyes shift and knew that he had hit the nail right on the head, so he continued.

"I'm sure that you didn't mean to hurt the little girl. But then she was there and you saw Molly trying to protect her and you thought to hell with it all and just shot her, too, didn't you? Making sure that Petty Officer Shriver had no one to turn to afterwards, huh? Making sure that his life would be as miserable as possible from now, making sure that he'd never be happy again in his whole life."

"You want to hear the truth?"

"Sure," Gibbs replied through clenched teeth, hoping that the dirtbag didn't realize what effect he had on him.

"Yeah, I killed them and you're right, she's mine now forever and always."

"How so? You made sure that she's gone forever."

"And that's where you're wrong. She might not be here now," Clarke snarled. "But I'll see her again someday and then we'll finally be together with no one in our way. Not the stupid little brat, not her husband. It'll just be her and me."

Gibbs stared at the guy, only just able to hold back the shout of fury that was building inside of him. It wouldn't help shouting at the guy, wouldn't help him come to his freaking senses and wouldn't help Gibbs to overcome his own, carefully sealed, feelings.

He stood up now, not bothering to answer the guy and slammed the door shut behind him. McGee, Ziva and DiNozzo were just leaving the observation room and he all but growled at them.

"Get him out of here and then go home. Reports can wait till Monday."

Ignoring the confusion on their faces, he marched down the hallway as fast as he could, hoping he would make it home in one piece before he could tear himself apart.

-x-

Tony had been wondering for the last fifteen minutes or so why he was even there. He knew that it wasn't right, wasn't what he needed. But still, he knew that he would go in there at some point of the night, knew he would because he had always done it, had always tried to make the world alright again. What he didn't know was whether he would even be welcome there. He sighed and knew that he'd find out as soon as he actually picked up the courage to open that stupid door.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Toughts? Complaints? Suggestions? Reviews would be awesome. True story. [and yes, I've been watching way too much HIMYM lately xD] Let me know what you think! :)_


	24. Never That Easy

_A/N: Thanks again for your fanstastic reviews and still coming alerts and favorites! :)_

_Dialogue-heavy next chapter but well, sometimes even Gibbs needs to talk, right? :P Hope you like it!_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Four: Never That Easy<span>**

Gibbs was able to hear faint footsteps from somewhere above him and he quickly shoved the treacherous thing into the waistband of his jeans at his back. He got up to pour himself another glass of bourbon and squinted at his watch only to realize that his vision was slightly blurred by now. Why was it that the alcohol had all effects but the one he desperately wanted? But apparently, the sentiment of forgetting didn't seem to be available for tonight.

Once again, there were footsteps above him, this time apparently in the kitchen and Gibbs briefly wondered why anybody would bother looking for him in there, as if they didn't know that he'd be down in the basement. He managed to finally fill the bourbon into the glass and settled down on the floor again, leaning against the wooden frame of his boat.

It didn't take long until those rather hesitant footsteps were finally to be heard on the stairs. He was usually able to identify footsteps and their owner pretty quickly and infallibly but apparently he had already been drinking too much tonight because this couldn't be true. Anyone would rather pay him a visit, hell, Vance would rather be here than him. But as Gibbs finally looked up the stairs, it was actually him – Tony – and it suddenly confused the older man to no end.

Tony was wearing jeans and a casual gray hoodie and was holding two bottles of water in his hands. So that was the reason why he had taken the detour to the kitchen before. He now stopped at the last step and finally looked at Gibbs, the ghost of a smile on his face. Gibbs still couldn't understand it, simply couldn't process it. First the younger man had been ripping his damn heart out of his chest by leaving the team and now he was standing there in his basement, sporting a look of concern and somehow one of comprehension. But it didn't make any sense, did it?

"What are you doing here?" he finally managed to press out but even then he realized that he was slightly slurring.

Tony just shrugged before he sat down on the stairs. "If I only knew."

Gibbs nodded, though he had no clue what that was supposed to mean, and took another sip as if the alcohol burning down his throat would ease up the strange atmosphere.

"You okay?"

He had spoken so quietly, so softly, that Gibbs had momentarily trouble understanding him. As he looked at him for a short moment, he saw the concern taking up all of his Tony's face, causing the older man's gut to start churning. Then, he shrugged, knowing that his agent – ex-agent now – knew him too damn well as that he would be able to lie to him.

"There any reason you're hiding your gun there?"

Gibbs jerked and stiffened for a moment, wondering how Tony had even noticed it and why he was so calm about it. For a minute or two, he wondered in earnest why he had taken it down with him, whether he had thought it would have a purpose that night but couldn't come up with anything.

He shrugged causing Tony to nod as he suddenly stood up and walked over to him, carefully reaching out his hand. Obediently, Gibbs grabbed the gun and placed it into Tony's hand. For a split of a second, their fingers touched, for a moment he was able to smell the younger man's aftershave and his insides froze before his heart started beating much faster than before. But the touch and the scent were gone far too soon and Tony retreated to the stairs again.

Pregnant silence seemed to crush them for a while after that and Gibbs was suddenly hyperaware of the fact that Tony's eyes were on him again but he refused to look at him, instead he stared at the swirling movements of the liquid in his glass.

"Wasn't going to use it," he finally answered Tony's earlier question and he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to convince Tony or himself.

"I know. Just wanted to make sure."

-x-

Tony released a sigh he hadn't even known he had been holding. This was just ridiculous. He stared at the gun in his hand before he quickly placed it next to him on the stairs. As if Gibbs would even consider the possibility of…

Tony knew by now that he had made the right decision to come here and look after him but he was still somehow feeling utterly out of place. But he wouldn't walk away now and especially not twice in one day.

He returned his gaze to Gibbs again, who looked more than a bit lost sitting there on the floor, his cheeks flushed, his eyes glassy. Tony couldn't help but wonder why the hurt that he had been feeling whenever he had looked at the guy over those last three weeks seemed suddenly to have vanished. He was still feeling something tugging at his stomach but it was rather soft by now and he could almost ignore it completely – almost.

He watched Gibbs carefully sitting the glass down on the floor and pulling his arms around his knees, letting his chin rest on them. Tony felt the sudden urge to walk over there again and just pull him into a hug but he knew that it would do no good – not for Gibbs and especially not for him. They remained silent for what seemed to be a long time with Tony figuring that if the older man wanted to talk, he'd start whenever he wanted to.

"That damn bastard," Gibbs suddenly found his voice again and Tony immediately understood who he was talking about – Clarke. "He didn't make any sense, did he?"

"Course not, Boss. He shot a little girl. Where is the sense in that?" Tony said barely above a whisper, hoping that the older man would keep talking.

He sighed, sipped on his bourbon before he looked at Tony, his blue eyes all but piercing him. Again, Tony felt the sinking sensation in his stomach as he saw the emotions flicker on his boss' face.

"Why doesn't it get any better?"

Momentarily taken aback, Tony blinked a few times, trying to figure out what exactly Gibbs was talking about.

"What doesn't?" he prodded now, his voice still quiet, careful.

"Just… everything. The bastards that always do that… the grief… it's been twenty years, damn it, and…" he trailed off, his blue eyes boring into Tony's now, suddenly flickering again and Tony realized that tears were actually threatening to fall from Leroy Jethro Gibbs' eyes.

With two or three determined strides, Tony was by Gibbs' side and sat down next to him, not quite touching but close enough to reach out for him if the situation presented itself.

"I know," Tony finally continued. "But we'll catch the next bastard and the next one after that."

His stomach suddenly gave a jolt as he realized that they wouldn't catch the next bastard, at least not together. He had made sure of that. But there were more pressing matters at the moment. He wanted Gibbs to feel better, even if it would make himself feel worse.

"And for the rest," Tony whispered now, unconsciously leaning a bit towards Gibbs whose glance was focused on his glass again. "If you want to talk… I'm… I'm here, Boss."

Gibbs looked at him with wonder in his eyes and it suddenly seemed like he was actually suppressing a smile.

"Why?"

"Just because… I don't know, Gibbs… I know that I'm not your world's favorite person at the moment but I'm here, right? Might as well talk to me. At least it's better than staring at your bourbon. Tried the same with beer the last couple of weeks but it doesn't work."

-x-

Gibbs felt sudden emotion welling up inside him and he leaned into Tony a bit, so that their shoulders were touching. He felt the younger man twitch for a split of a second but apparently he recovered quickly enough and didn't back away. Gibbs didn't know how he even deserved that.

"It's just," he finally started over, not even sure himself what he wanted to talk about. "Whenever I see a little kid like Mia today… it's like I'm back in that autopsy room, where I had to identify Shan and Kelly. It's just like it only happened yesterday. And everything I've fought for, everything I've accomplished since then just vanishes again. I thought that I finally managed to… manage it but one case like today and I'm back there."

Gibbs watched a tear drop into his bourbon and he realized only now that he was actually crying. He quickly rubbed his hand over his face but he knew that, of course, Tony had seen it. He looked at him and saw him staring right back at him, something like empathy clearly visible in his eyes.

"Sorry but I have to ask," Tony broke the moment and Gibbs felt his stomach sink. "You didn't really consider… you know… with your gun and stuff?"

Gibbs shrugged again, not averting his glance. "I guess not. Couldn't do it twenty years ago, can't do it tonight."

Again, he felt Tony tense up next to him, longer this time but he didn't move away. He heard him sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

"Why can't you?"

Gibbs let out a sarcastic bark of a laugh not sure why he'd ask such a thing. "I don't really know. Back then, I thought that it would be pathetic and I still wanted revenge, still hated Hernandez too much to give up on him. You want to know why I couldn't do it tonight?"

Tony nodded, imperceptibly leaning closer again.

"I don't even know. Maybe I thought that that bastard wasn't worth it, maybe I thought that I couldn't do it to Abby, to Ducky, to Ziva or maybe…"

"Or maybe what?" Tony prodded and Gibbs sighed, knowing that he needed to get it off his chest.

"Or maybe I just knew that you would show up and I didn't want you of all people to find me. I didn't want you to think that I'm that pathetic."

More tears were running down his cheeks now but Gibbs didn't care anymore.

"You could never be pathetic, trust me. A bastard, yes. A hardass, yeah. But never pathetic."

"I don't know," Gibbs replied, only above a whisper now. "Me sitting on the cold floor in my basement, drinking myself into a stupor, thinking about pulling a gun on myself and then whining about it to my… to you… does sound pretty pathetic to me."

-x-

Tony tried to give him a smile and then, without really thinking of what he was doing, finally pulled his arm around Gibbs' shoulders. He felt him almost melt into him and that thing, that had only been tugging at his insides before, was suddenly roaring loudly at him and Tony almost forcefully tried to remain calm, tried to focus on helping Gibbs and not himself.

"Never pathetic, okay? It takes a lot of courage to talk about it," he finally replied with a shrug.

He felt Gibbs nod timidly next to him and he saw more tears escaping his eyes now and he almost involuntarily pulled him even closer and strangely enough, Gibbs rested his forehead against Tony's shoulder. Tony let him be, gently rubbing his back, fervently hoping that Gibbs was too occupied to feel his heart racing just underneath the fabric of his hoodie.

After what seemed to be a very long time, Gibbs finally straightened, wiped away the last of his tears before he looked him in the eyes again. Just as Tony had opened his mouth to ask whether he was feeling better, Gibbs had sprung up so suddenly that he almost knocked him over.

"God, Tony," he said now, his voice slightly trembling. "What am I even asking of you? I shouldn't have…"

"Hey," Tony softly cut him off, getting up himself. "It's okay, I offered to listen, remember?"

Gibbs nodded again and made a movement with his hand as if he wanted to grab Tony's but then froze in midair, apparently realizing what he had been about to do.

"Why?" he asked instead, so quietly that Tony wasn't even sure he had actually said something.

"Why, what?"

"Why did you come here? I mean, you just resigned today, told me that you'd leave the team in only a couple of days, barely talked to me those last couple of weeks. And I get all of that, really I do. But why would you even bother showing up here?"

Tony shrugged, really not knowing the answer. He had asked himself the exact same question while he had been standing outside the front door but hadn't come up with an appropriate answer as of now. He just simply didn't know.

"Is it because you're just as pigheaded as I am and wouldn't let it go?"

Tony shook his head now, knowing that it wasn't the truth at all. He looked into those piercing blue eyes that were still a bit glassy, still a bit red from crying earlier and Tony suddenly just knew why he had come here in the first place.

"Maybe," he shrugged again. "But maybe it's just because I wanted to make sure you were alright, wanted to make sure you didn't do anything stupid."

"You did," Gibbs was whispering again now, "but I still don't get why."

"Maybe I still care about you. Not just maybe, I guess." Another shrug. "I always cared too much for my own good about you. That doesn't change just because you…"

Tony trailed off now, unable to exactly put Gibbs' behavior in an accurate term because, really, bastard didn't cut it at all. Gibbs nodded, apparently knowing what he wanted to say.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure," Tony replied, somewhat confused because Gibbs was looking at him with such a serious expression that was somehow so different from the looks before.

"Why did you write that you think you've disappointed me?"

"Uh, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't. And didn't want you to feel that way."

Tony gazed into his eyes, trying to stay focused and with great effort was able to avert his glance. He didn't get it. Hadn't Gibbs broken this thing up because Tony had disappointed him? Hadn't he said that if Tony hadn't gotten injured in that car chase, everything would still be okay? Hadn't he said that Tony had distracted him from his duty?

"I don't understand," he finally choked out, taking a step backwards as if it would help him to think clearer without the scent of bourbon and old spice in his nostrils.

"Tony, that things are so…"

"Fucked up?" Tony helped him out.

"Yeah. None of it is your fault. We just shouldn't have started anything in the beginning. I am – was – your boss and there is a reason why even NCIS prohibits relationships like that. There's too much danger of being distracted than in a normal work relationship."

"Stop," Tony interrupted him, feeling slightly angry by now, hearing the same crap all over again. "You owe me, Jet, you owe me a real explanation, especially after tonight and you know that."

He heard Gibbs sigh and for a moment he looked away again, seemingly far into the distance and Tony realized with a start that while they had been talking in the kitchen the other day, Gibbs had not once locked eyes with him. But now, Gibbs suddenly shook his head and then actually looked at him, really looked at him and Tony felt his insides clench again as he realized that the truth was about to be spilled. Suddenly, he wasn't entirely sure whether or not he really wanted to know. But then again, it couldn't get any worse than this…

As Gibbs remained silent for a long time, Tony cleared his throat, trying to start the conversation again.

"Just tell me – truthfully this time – that those weeks with me didn't mean anything to you. Tell me, that they weren't anything special."

"Is that what you want to hear?" Gibbs' voice came out strangled now and he leaned heavily against the boat.

Tony didn't answer immediately, not sure how to even answer that. He was sure that it would be the easiest to just hear it again because, really, he had worked with that idea for three long weeks and had accepted it in the end. But it wasn't what he wanted – all of this wasn't what he wanted, so he finally shook his head.

"I want the truth."

"Those weeks with you, Tony," he reached out as if to take his hand but refrained once again. "Were the best since Shannon and Kelly were alive. For the first time in twenty years something felt real again. But then I freaked out for the first time, when I forgot about visiting them and I thought that you'd walk out on me but there you were sitting being all understanding and just there and it somehow felt so right that I tried to forget about my gut feeling and it seemed to work for a few days. But then…"

Gibbs trailed off and as if his knees were about to give out, he sank down to the floor again, knocking over his glass of bourbon in the course. Tony hurried to sit down again, closer than before, still not yet touching. He still couldn't make sense of Gibbs' babbling but he didn't say anything, hoping that he would continue soon.

"That car chase and that bullet through the windshield…"

"Oh," Tony replied now, on the verge of hitting himself.

How had he not thought about that fact, the fact that Gibbs' girls died because of a bullet through the windshield, before? Had he been that occupied with being angry, feeling devastated and blaming himself and/or Gibbs for the breakup that he had overlooked that vital part?

"God, I didn't realize. I'm such an idiot."

"No, you're not," Gibbs' replied with such vehemence that Tony let out a surprised bark of a laugh. "It shouldn't have affected me all that much. This wasn't our first car chase and not the first bullet that was fired at you, either. But you have to understand that for the first time in twenty years I had actually something to lose again. Not just a partner or an agent but a friend, who meant a lot to me. And as I saw you sitting there in that car wreck with blood dripping down your head, barely moving I thought I'd lost it again and how was I supposed to get over that when I haven't even managed to get over Shan and Kelly's death?"

"So you thought, breaking it up with me wouldn't make you feel that way? Breaking up with me wasn't about me specifically? It was just about the fear of something happening to me?" Tony whispered now, finally able to actually understand the guy, finally able to process his train of thought.

"Yeah," Gibbs shrugged. "Should have realized that it isn't quite that simple. But I really thought that breaking it up with you, would mean that I could go back to work like nothing ever happened, like you didn't mean more to me than McGee or Ziva and I would be able to concentrate on keeping the three of you as safe as possible."

"Hold on," Tony interrupted him now, just having realized something. "Did you just say you thought? In past tense?"

Gibbs nodded, distractedly running his fingers through his already messed up hair. "Nothing's ever that easy because I just couldn't stop thinking about you getting hurt and that the last thought of me would be that you hated me."

"I could never hate you, you know that."

"Do I?"

"Well, you should."

A smile ghosted on Gibbs' lips now before he averted his glance for the first time since they had started having that very honest conversation.

"Didn't think you'd hate me that much to resign though."

"Hey," Tony said now, putting two fingers under Gibbs' chin to make him look at him again and it felt strangely familiar. "I didn't resign because I hate you. I resigned to make it easier. For me, for you and for the others, too, because I was really no fun working with and I just couldn't see any other way to make it better."

They remained silent, just looking into each other's eyes and for a fleeting moment, Tony thought that if he'd only been drinking that night, he would just lean forward and kiss the guy but he wasn't drunk and that exact moment wasn't the right one either. And, really, did he really want to kiss him? Did he really just want to forgive him like that? He realized with a start that he _wanted_ those things with every fiber of his being but he also realized that things were in fact not that easy.

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><p><em>AN: Please don't hate me xD But the chapter is too long already as it is. Promise, new part's gonna be here soon ;) Reviews would be great!_


	25. You Know It's Nothing New

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews and alerts and favorites! :) You guys make me kinda speechless everytime I check my email ;)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Five: You Know It's Nothing New<span>**

Gibbs gazed into those green eyes for a long time, realizing that they were far too close, far too intimate for the situation they were in. But he simply couldn't help it and maybe it was because he had been drinking far too much tonight but as he breathed in the faint scent of Tony's aftershave, felt Tony's shoulder against his own, he wondered what would happen if he just leaned in a little bit closer and kissed him. But then, he inwardly shrugged. He wouldn't do this to Tony, he really didn't deserve that. He tried to remember what exactly they had been talking about but his thoughts were all over the place, were all hazy and he couldn't recollect their last topic.

"You got that?" Tony suddenly asked and if Gibbs wouldn't have been that devastated, he would have actually laughed at the attempt of imitating him.

"Got what?"

"That I don't hate you," Tony replied, furrowing a brow.

"Got it," Gibbs replied, suddenly remembering what they had been talking about.

"Good," Tony replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Gibbs took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on himself, trying to focus on anything other than Tony's scent in his nostrils.

"You okay?" Tony finally broke the weird mood and backed away ever so slightly as if he had just realized what they had been doing.

"I think so," Gibbs replied thoughtfully.

He saw Tony nod now, running a rather shaky hand through his hair.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there any chance of you staying with the team?"

-x-

Momentarily taken aback, Tony rubbed his hand over his face, not sure where this was coming from. Gibbs surely couldn't expect him to stay, not even after tonight, which, granted, had made some things clearer but had not resolved anything. If anything, Tony was even more confused, though he could understand the guy a bit better now. But Tony knew that it wouldn't probably change anything, he would still be miserable in the morning, would still have trouble accepting that Gibbs was just his boss and nothing more and Gibbs would still be afraid of making a mistake – that was if he could even remember anything from tonight.

Sighing and locking eyes with him, he finally answered. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea."

He could see Gibbs nod curtly, his face falling even more now before he looked around, his eyes fixing on the bottle of bourbon that was standing a few feet away on the workbench. He shakily stood up, gripping the wooden frame hard and then walked over to where the bourbon was standing. Or tried to. He stumbled over some invisible obstacle on the floor and Tony got up just in time to catch him.

"We should probably get you to bed, Boss," Tony suggested.

"I'm fine," Gibbs mumbled.

"Clearly," Tony replied as Gibbs struggled against Tony's arms but was not able to free himself.

Draping one of Gibbs' arms over his shoulders, Tony slowly led him up the stairs and into the bedroom. He sighed inwardly as his glance reached the far left corner, where lying on a chair were his sweats which he had apparently forgotten the last time he had been there. Tony shrugged off the thought as quickly as possible and helped Gibbs sit down on the bed. The older man looked at him for a moment, his cheeks slightly flushed and Tony knew that Gibbs would be embarrassed tomorrow morning but that wasn't his problem after all. Tony made quick work of Gibbs' shoes and socks and then stopped his actions as his boss tried to stand up to get rid of jeans but was having difficulties doing so.

Sighing again, Tony waved Gibbs' hands off and quickly opened the belt and then the jeans, desperately trying not to breathe in the scent of sawdust, bourbon and the traces of old spice. Just as Gibbs stepped out of the jeans, he stumbled again but Tony caught him in time, his arms coming around the other man's hips. He felt Gibbs lean into him for a second and felt him nestling into his neck before his drunken mind apparently gave him a shout and he jerked away almost immediately, leaving Tony standing there with a heartbeat that was working overtime all of a sudden.

Once he had finally gotten him into bed, Tony quickly retreated to the bathroom, searched for some aspirins and filled a glass with water. He settled them on the nightstand and with one last look at an apparently already asleep Gibbs, he stepped out the door. Just as he was about to pull the door close behind him, he heard a faint mumble that sounded suspiciously like his name and he turned around, wondering if he hadn't only imagined it. But Gibbs' eyes were open again, even if barely so, so Tony made a step backwards.

"Yeah?"

"Stay here tonight?"

Tony's breath hitched in his throat for a moment before he reminded himself to breathe. He had expected a lot of things tonight but not this. He knew that he couldn't possibly stay here, though his body was screaming at him loudly to do so. But Gibbs was as drunk as he had never seen him and he probably wouldn't even remember the conversation tomorrow but Tony would and he could not do that with clear consciousness. Somewhere in the back of the mind, he knew that he probably should stay, though. After all, Gibbs wasn't exactly emotionally stable tonight, though Tony knew that he wouldn't do anything stupid – not anymore at least. So, he subtly shook his head, damning the thought of sharing a bed with Gibbs again out of his mind.

"You know what, I'll just sleep on the couch downstairs."

Blue eyes locked into his again and then, Gibbs curtly nodded and turned around in the bed so that he was facing away from him and Tony stood there for a few more moments, trying to memorize the picture as he was sure that he would never see him like that again in his life.

-x-

Gibbs turned around and immediately regretted he had done so as his brain was literally shifting in his head. He groaned and slowly sat up, glancing around ruefully. He saw a glass of water and some aspirins sitting on the nightstand and he gratefully took two at a time. Carefully, he got out of bed, having no recollection of how he had even gotten there.

_Tony._

Gibbs groaned again, trying to remember whether the younger man had brought him to bed. Flashes appeared in front of his eyes, Tony helping him get rid of his shoes, standing in the door still, shaking his head.

_Jeez._

Rubbing his hand over his face, he slowly and carefully made his way downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that after a cup of coffee, everything would start to look up. Snippets of his conversation with Tony in the basement appeared in front of his inner eye and he felt himself blush ever so slightly. At least, the kid knew the truth now, even if Gibbs hadn't had the intention to talk to him like that. Oh damn, had he actually cried, too? Taking the first sip of his coffee, hoping that it would actually help settle his stomach and not make it worse, Gibbs was still in deep thoughts about how explain all of that to Tony. Did he even have to? At least, he'd still have a day before seeing him at work on Monday. He surely would have found the right words till then…

"Morning."

Gibbs all but choked on his coffee before he turned around, seeing Tony casually leaning against the doorframe, a sly smile on his face. But as he looked a little closer, he could see the sadness in the younger man's eyes and Jethro briefly wondered if he had said something that had hurt him after all. Besides, what the hell was he still doing here?

"Morning," he finally replied and gestured towards the coffee maker. "Want some?"

Tony just shrugged and remained standing there, apparently considerate about keeping a safe distance between them. "Sure."

Gibbs quickly poured him a cup and sat down on the kitchen table. Reluctantly, Tony followed his lead. They sat in silence for quite some time and just as the older man was about to get another coffee, Tony finally cleared his throat but besides that remained silent, his glance fixed on Gibbs' face.

"You stayed the night?" he stated the obvious, at a loss of what else to say.

Tony gave him a half smile and shrugged, apparently unsure of how to answer. But why was that so hard to do? Simple question, simple answer, right?

"You asked me to."

_Oh. _

"I did?" Gibbs asked before he could help himself. "I… I shouldn't have."

Tony stopped him with a wave of his hand, shrugging again.

"It's okay. Was probably for the best, you were pretty out of it last night."

"Yeah," he trailed off, rubbing his temples in an attempt to ease the headache.

"Don't worry about anything. You didn't do anything stupid," Tony slightly grinned at him, as if he was actually enjoying that for once, he wasn't the one with the hangover.

"Didn't I?"

"Well, you did talk more than usual but I wouldn't call that stupid."

"Look, Tony," Gibbs said so seriously that the grin on Tony's face was wiped away almost immediately. "Thanks for coming over like that. You really didn't have to but I'm… glad you did."

Tony just nodded again. "Listen, it was nothing. I knew you had a hard time dealing with the case and everything. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. It's the least I could do."

"No, Tony," Gibbs replied, feeling his insides clench at the mere notion of Tony thinking that it was his duty to care for him even after everything that had happened between them. "It's no matter of course and I really don't expect you to do stuff like that for me. Not if it's too much for you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything."

"You needed someone, I was there. End of story." Another shrug and a half-hearted smile. "You feel better now?"

"Dunno. I guess."

"Okay," Tony looked at him again. "And listen, I want you to know that I understand where you're coming from now. I still don't agree with you but I get it, okay? So, no hard feelings."

Gibbs gulped, realizing that Tony actually meant what he was saying. Was he really over this whole thing just like that? No hard feelings? Really?

"Thank you."

-x-

Tony felt himself shrug again for what seemed to be the tenth time in the last couple of minutes. Maybe it was his way of saying it was okay with him. But was it really? It had taken Tony all of his courage to come to this house last night and even though, he knew that he had made the right decision in coming here, in hearing Gibbs out, he still hadn't slept one second that night, unable to draw his thoughts away from a lost Gibbs sitting on the cold floor in the basement, unable to draw his thoughts away from the realization that the older man had thought that he would die in that car chase, unable to draw away his thoughts away from Gibbs's face against his neck in the bedroom. He wanted to tell him that, wanted it with every fiber of his freaking being but he had come to the conclusion that it would make no difference. None of that would make him rethink his decision of not wanting a relationship. None of that would make him want him back, so Tony had decided to just keep it to himself, deal with it on his own, no need to worry the other man even more.

"No problem," he finally replied.

Gibbs nodded again, the lines on his forehead deepening. He really looked like he had gone to hell and back. But well, last night hadn't been exactly easy for him and Tony knew that. He was just genuinely glad that he was apparently feeling better, despite his obvious hangover.

"I should probably get going."

"Tony," Tony stopped at the door and turned around as he heard Gibbs' timid voice. "You got two more days of work left?"

He shook his head, realizing only now that he had forgotten something really important the day before. That damn case…

"I guess a few more. Was too busy with the case to actually hand my resignation to Vance. Is that a problem?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Gibbs' lips, suddenly irritating Tony to no end.

"No, no problem. You really are sticking with your decision, don't you?"

"I don't think I have any other choice, Boss. We'd be too distracted and we can't risk each other's lives or Ziva's or McGee's."

Tony flinched internally hearing his own words. He realized only now that he was using Gibbs' reasoning which didn't actually make any sense. And for what - Just to hide his true feelings? That he couldn't as much as look at the guy without his heart breaking all over again? Hoping that the older man would let it slide for the moment, Tony continued.

"I was miserable those last weeks and maybe it actually is time to move on, you know. Not just from… this thing… but also from NCIS. I'm sure as hell going to miss everything about the team, I'll miss Abby's creepy music and Ducky's long monologues. But as I've said before I want to stay in the area because I really can't live without you guys and that does include you, too. You know that, right?"

"And how are we supposed to do that, Tony? Meet each other at a coffee shop once a week to catch up? I don't think I can do that."

Tony tilted his head now, trying to catch his eyes again but Gibbs's glance was fixed on the empty cup in front of him. He felt his heart sink, realizing that he was probably right. They would never do stuff like that, especially not after everything that had happened.

"Got another suggestion?"

"No, Tony," Gibbs' voice came out strangled causing Tony's heart to sink even more. "All I know is that once you're done with the job, our paths will not likely cross again and I'm not sure that I want that."

"I don't want that either," Tony replied, his voice only above a whisper, causing Gibbs to finally look at him again.

"Then, don't leave."

"I have to. You know I have to."

Gibbs gave him a sad nod before his attention was back on the cup in front of him and Tony got the hint, turned around and left the house.

-x-

Still fighting his headache, Gibbs pulled over at Ducky's house a couple of hours later. He wasn't entirely sure why he was even there but he knew that the doctor was really mad at him, so he had decided to pay him a visit, make him understand – or that was what Gibbs had been telling himself on the way over there.

"Well hello, Jethro," he was greeted by the ME at the door.

"Hey Duck. Got a minute?"

"Of course. Can I offer you anything?" Ducky asked while he led the way to the living-room, where Gibbs sat down on one of the recliners.

"No, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Ducky observed. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yeah, last night."

"Did it help?"

"Getting over the case? Yeah, it did. Getting over everything else? No."

"That's what I thought," Ducky replied thoughtfully, a sympathetic look on his face. "I take it that you have taken Anthony's resignation not that well?"

"No. But he's right, we simply can't keep going like that. It was all so wrong those last couple of weeks."

"Did you two talk about it at all?"

Gibbs nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Last night and this morning."

"Anthony came over last night?" Ducky replied, a weird kind of smile on his face, something that looked suspiciously like pride.

"Yeah."

"And here I thought the boy was just as stubborn as you are."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Jethro," Ducky started, that smile still not vanished. "Don't you see it? Young Anthony still cares a lot about you. That much in fact that he actually had the guts to come over to your place, make sure you were doing okay while he was surely fighting an inner battle."

"Yeah, okay, so?"

"You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what?" Jethro replied, rubbing his temples as if it would make him understand what the hell Ducky was talking about.

"What did he tell you about his reasons to leave? Did he tell you that you were right about being distracted from work, about jeopardizing your and Ziva and Timothy's lives?"

Gibbs just nodded, wondering how on earth the doctor knew all about that.

"What does that tell you now, my dear Jethro?"

"That I was right?" Gibbs asked, getting more confused with every second that passed.

"No, you weren't. He just wants you to believe you are to make it easier for himself. Jethro, no one comes over to your place only weeks after you broke up with him just to make sure you were okay. No one gives you the same reasons for resigning you gave him for breaking it up."

"I don't understand," Jethro slowly said, trying to grasp what the doctor was trying to tell him.

"Jethro, maybe Tony doesn't even realize what he's doing. But he still cares a lot about you. So much, in fact, that he's willing to give up his job, his friends and frankly, his only family just to make you feel better, just to make you happy. His resignation doesn't have anything to do with him thinking that you two have made a mistake."

Gibbs stared at Ducky for a moment, trying to process everything that he had just said. Could he actually be right? To be honest, Gibbs had never even considered the possibility before.

"Are you actually ready to let him give up all of that for you?"

"But… he doesn't have to do that. I told him, he doesn't have to."

"But he is stubborn, Jethro, of course, he will go through with it. You did not do anything to make him stay."

"How am I supposed to do that, Duck? I told him, I don't want him to leave the team but he refused."

"That is because he doesn't want some flimsy attempt. He wants the real thing, he wants the truth."

Gibbs remained silent, wondering why nobody seemed to understand that he wasn't lying, that even though the way his girls had died and Tony's hunched over body were playing into his decision, he really was thinking that distractions like that would hurt someone in the end.

"The boy still wants you, Jethro, whether or not he is aware of that fact and he's smart enough to know that quitting his job is the easiest way out. But if you really want Anthony to stay, you have to come clean to him. So ask yourself the question, my dear Jethro, why you don't want him to leave the team. Is it because you don't think that Timothy is ready to be Senior Field Agent or that Ziva isn't ready to lose yet another friend? Or is it because you cannot stand the idea of not seeing the boy day after day, is it that you want him within reach all the time or is it because you know that he is the best bloody thing that happened to you since Shannon and Kelly."

"What are you talking about?" Gibbs whispered now, feeling like he had just been dipped into ice-cold water.

"Answer me just one question. Can you honestly tell me that you don't want to be with Tony? Really, really, don't want to be with him?"

Gibbs first reflex was to just answer with 'yes'. But then he suddenly remembered Tony lying in bed with his hands around him, remembered his head resting on his shoulder, snoring slightly, remembered the kiss at the lake that day that still made him tingly inside even now.

_Damn._

Though Gibbs hadn't said anything, his silence was apparently enough for Ducky, who had stood up, so the younger man quickly followed suit.

"That's what I thought," Duck finally said as they were already standing by the front door, a soft smile on his face. "Take your time to make up your mind but don't be too late. You're close to losing him, you know that."

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><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Suggestions? Let me know what you think, please! ;)_


	26. Starting From Scratch

_A/N: As always, thanks for the awesome reviews you're giving me! :) _

_Hope you like this one, too, as I'm not quite sure I like it myself... Have rewritten this chapter three times and still something's bugging me about it... maybe you can tell me what it is xD_

_Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or Demolition Man.  
><em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Six: Starting From Scratch<span>**

The monotonous action of sanding had finally calmed him down a bit after what seemed like hours. His arms were already sore but he knew once he would stop, his fears, insecurities, uncertainties would just start to gnaw at him again. Ducky's words just wouldn't vanish from his mind, were actually stuck in his head like a stupid tune and kept on repeating again and again. He had known before his talk to the doctor that he had still feelings for Tony, had known that he wanted him to stay with the team for not entirely unselfish reasons. What he hadn't realized before, though, were Tony's intentions and feelings. Maybe Ducky was right and he was willing to give up the only family he had ever known just to make it easier for him, Gibbs, without realizing what he was really about to do. Gibbs couldn't possibly let that happen, could he?

For a moment, Gibbs stopped in his actions, rubbing a callous hand over his face, wondering if it was the right time for a glass of bourbon but decided against it, he wanted to keep a clear head for that kind of a decision. He had waged his options ever since he had left Ducky's but still hadn't come up with a solution that satisfied him.

The first one was pretty simple, let Tony go through with his plan of resigning and possibly never see him again. Gibbs knew that it would make him fall apart all over again but he also knew that Tony would be off better than now, he would have time and space to get over him, find another job (which he surely would because he was an excellent agent after all) and start a new life.

Option two would equally tear Gibbs apart. He could beg for Tony to stay with the team, hoping that the younger man would come to his senses and see that he couldn't function properly without Abby, Ziva and McGee. But it also meant that they both would be miserable, having to see each other every damn day and yet not being able to be together.

That basically left Gibbs with option number three. But that was the most unlikely of all. He could just drive by Tony's apartment and tell him to stay with the team because Gibbs couldn't live without him, couldn't stand the thought of not being with him anymore. But who was he kidding, really? Tony would never believe him just like that, would never decide to stay just because Gibbs told him so. Why should he believe him anyway? He had taken all of what had ever been important to the younger man away from him, had basically destroyed him. Granted, Tony still seemed to care a great deal about him, had told him that he didn't hate him but somehow Gibbs didn't think it would be that easy.

So what was he supposed to do? Gibbs just didn't know, didn't know what to do. But he had to come to a conclusion till Monday or everything would fall apart – sooner or later.

-x-

Tony had spent a relatively quiet Sunday afternoon alone in his apartment, still trying to process the night and morning's events. It hadn't resolved anything really but he was feeling slightly better, at least knowing the reason why Gibbs had freaked and broken up with him. It didn't change anything, though. His mind was set, he would hand in his resignation first thing Monday morning and nobody would be able to do anything about that.

He was just about to start his _Demolition Man_ DVD as his doorbell rang. He briefly wondered who would show up out of the blue on a Sunday evening but too many names actually popped into his mind. He sighed, contemplating not to open the door at all as he basically just wanted to be alone but he knew that if it was Ziva or McGee, they would easily be able to pick the lock anyway. Sighing, he stood up and opened the door, surprised that all the options, he actually had considered, where standing right outside his apartment. He looked into the faces of Ziva, Abby and McGee and sighed again as he stepped aside to let them in without a word, already knowing why they were there.

Once they were all seated in the living-room, Ziva finally broke the still lasting silence between them.

"We do not need to tell you why we are here, yes?"

"If it's because you want to reason me out of resigning, you should have saved yourself the trip. I've made my decision."

"We're not here because of that," McGee joined the conversation. "Or let's say it's not the main reason."

"So what is?" Tony inquired, not sure he was liking the direction this was headed.

"We just like to see you happy, Tony," Abby chimed in, putting a hand on his thigh as if it would highlight her statement.

"I'll be fine, guys, really. Just need some time until all of this has blown over."

"Tony," Ziva replied, looking stern. "If you are fine, then I am an Asian."

Tony shook his head, wondering what exactly she had mixed up this time.

"Chinaman, Ziva," McGee smirked.

"Same difference," Ziva rolled her eyes. "What we want to tell you is that we will not let you off the hook that easily. That is right, yes?"

"Yeah," Abby said, a smile on her lips. "You might have decided to quit your job, Tony, but you haven't quit us."

"I never said, I have," Tony answered confused, still not knowing what the hell they were doing there, if not talking him out of leaving NCIS.

"Good," Tim continued now, strangely self-assured. "We realize that you've made up your mind about the job but we won't let you walk away from a good thing."

"And that would be?" Tony asked, almost desperately trying to avoid thinking about Gibbs.

"Your relationship with Gibbs," Abby chimed in again, "we know you've given up on that but we haven't."

"And that makes a difference how? Besides, you're at the wrong address then. It wasn't me that broke it up, remember?"

"Yes, that is true," Ziva replied, showing no surprise and Tony knew that Abby and Tim had briefed her into the situation beforehand. "However, we believe that Gibbs will not let you go."

"What makes you think so? You saw his reaction as I've told you guys. He doesn't care."

Tony flinched internally, knowing that he was lying through his teeth because, really, he knew that Gibbs didn't want him to go but it made no difference but that wasn't any of their business. It wasn't like they could change the outcome anyway…

"He'll come around," Abby stated optimistically. "And we want you to be prepared. Want you to actually consider the possibility. Isn't there any chance of persuading you? Or of getting together with him? Not the tiniest bit?"

Tony sighed, avoiding looking into her puppy eyes. "As I've said before, I wasn't the one that broke it up. But that doesn't mean that I'd just come running back to him. Too many things have happened. It's just not that easy – given he'd even consider the possibility."

"Like I said, he'll come around. He might be a stubborn fool sometimes but he's not stupid enough to let you go."

"But he already has, Abby."

"Momentary insanity," the Goth grinned. "And we're not telling you to just take him back. But keep an open mind about it, okay? It might look bad at the moment with everything that's going on but things are never as bad as they look."

"And what if they are?" Tony all but whispered his gaze fixed on his shoes, not daring actually thinking about the possibility of Gibbs wanting him back.

Granted, the talk in the basement had been intense and at times it had seemed like his boss had just wanted to lean into him and kiss him. Plus, he had been very honest with him but he had never once said, hinted at anything that would give away for speculating. But still, Tony realized now that he still wanted him. He hadn't realized it before because maybe he had been a bit too hurt, after all, had been a bit too confused, a bit too angry. There was still so much to talk about, so much to figure out that alone the notion of even considering all of that was pretty ridiculous.

"Then we will still be here to look out for you, okay?" Ziva said, causing Tony to look up again.

He was strangely touched by the sentiment and he gulped, hoping to get rid of the lump that had formed in his chest.

"I don't want you to get caught in between things."

"Don't you dare worry about us," Abby said, softly poking his arm. "We always stick together. No matter what."

"Thanks, guys."

"No problem, you'd do the same for any of us," McGee joined the conversation again. "Just don't be too stubborn, okay?"

"I'll try. Can't promise anything."

"That's all we're asking for," Abby said, stood up with McGee and Ziva following her lead and only moments later, they were gone again, leaving Tony behind in his apartment, strangely touched and even more confused.

-x-

Early on Monday morning, Gibbs sat down at his desk and started the computer, still trying to calm his nerves. When had he become such a nervous wreck anyway? He had arrived extra early to make sure that DiNozzo wouldn't sneak in early to hand in that damn resignation without him noticing. He hadn't seen his car in the garage and that had calmed him down a bit but not much. For a fleeting moment, the thought of coffee not helping crossed his mind but he let go of that that one pretty quickly. He wouldn't even function without it.

A few minutes later, Tony strolled into the bullpen, a neutral mask on his face as he nodded a good morning to Gibbs and sat down at his own desk, rummaging through the top drawer. Finally, he apparently found what he had been looking for, retrieved a piece of paper and now opened another drawer, pulling out an envelope. Slipping the paper into it, he stood up again.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs finally sort of found his voice as panic threatened to choke him up.

"Tony," he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Yeah, Boss?"

Tony turned around now, that mask of neutrality still not vanished from his face but Gibbs felt sure that he had seen something shift in his eyes or at least he hoped he had.

"Don't do it."

"We've been talking about this, Gibbs," Tony replied, his lips barely moving.

"I know but can't it wait for another day?"

"What difference would it make?"

Rubbing his hand over his face, Gibbs tried to find the right words to say but came up with nothing that even began to describe his inner turmoil.

"Can we talk tonight, Tony?"

"What else is there to talk about?" Tony voice was cold now, still Gibbs had noticed a slight shake in it.

Gibbs remained silent, still not knowing what to say and Tony turned around, slowly making his way up the stairs to the director's office, his shoulders slumped.

"Tony?" Gibbs finally piped up, just as Tony climbed the last of the stairs.

He stopped but didn't turn around, apparently waiting for him to say something.

"Please?" the older man tried.

He saw Tony tense up even from the distance, then forcefully relax again and he silently turned around and without making a sound walked down the stairs again, causing Gibbs to release a sigh of relief.

"Tonight, my place," Tony finally said, sitting down on his chair. "And you have to come up with a damn good reason for making me… work a day longer."

"Got it," Gibbs replied, still feeling strangely elated and petrified at the same time just as McGee joined them in the office, effectively breaking up their eye contact.

-x-

Tony nervously paced around in his apartment. He had gotten home from work over two hours ago. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything today and slowly Gibbs' remark about being distracted from work actually began to make sense to him. Luckily they had only reread cold cases that day and he had been able to go home pretty early. He had tried to ignore the strange tension that had seemed to be in the air all day, had tried to ignore Ziva and McGee's stares, who had shared meaningful glances the whole day as if they knew what was going on. Tony still wasn't sure why he had let himself talk into another conversation. Maybe his colleagues' visit from the day before still gnawed at him or he still somewhere in the corner of his mind wanted to believe them or maybe it was the fact that Gibbs had actually said 'please' that had made him invite the guy over. Cursing silently, he kept on telling himself that one more day of work didn't matter.

A knock on the door disrupted his pacing and he internally braced himself for what would lay ahead before he opened the door and stepped aside to let his actually nervous-looking boss in. He led them into the kitchen, figuring that their talks in his living-room hadn't exactly turned out good before. He offered him a beer but Gibbs declined, asking for water, which suddenly confused Tony to no end. He sat the glass on the table and sat down on one of the chairs, the older man mirroring his action.

"You wanted to talk, so talk," Tony finally started, the sooner they'd start, the sooner it would be done.

He heard him sigh and sip from the water, apparently trying to buy himself a bit more time. Tony felt himself involuntarily tense up as Gibbs' eyes locked into his own, revealing the older man's obvious insecurity.

"Okay," another sigh. "Here's the thing. I don't want you to leave the team but you already know that. But what you don't know is why. It isn't because you're the best agent, isn't because you would leave a big hole. That's only part of it and the smallest at that. The truth is, Tony, I did a lot of thinking ever since you left my house yesterday morning and I realized one thing. I don't want you off the team because I don't trust the others, it is because I can't stand the idea of not seeing you every day. Can't stand the damn idea of you having someone else's back, watching someone else's six. It hasn't even anything to do with work specifically, I just want you around. Those last few weeks…"

Tony stared at him, unable to avert his eyes from him, trying to find the lie in his words but wasn't able to find it in those piercing blue eyes. Did Gibbs actually mean what he was just telling him?

"…things weren't like they were supposed to be. I know I'm probably too late and you've made up your mind but I only realized now that I would miss you terribly if you weren't around. I'd miss your jokes. I'd miss your teasing, your easy way of talking to people. I'd miss the way you're able to light up the mood in an instant, the way you just look at me and I know what you're thinking."

"Gibbs," Tony interrupted him, uncomfortably shifting on his chair. "Stop right there. This doesn't change anything. Let's pretend for a moment, I would consider to stay, what would have changed?"

"Everything has changed," Gibbs replied so quietly that Tony leaned forwards a bit. "I've been an idiot before. Yes, I was scared of losing you, of forgetting about my girls. But I've only realized now that all of that doesn't add up because if you leave now, I would lose everything. Not just my best agent, not just my friend. Everything."

"So?" Tony prodded, not trusting his voice to form more words.

"I came to realize," Gibbs sighed. "That I have to take the risk now or I'll lose you, if I'm not too late already. Look, Tony, I apologize for everything I've done to you. For breaking up with you just because I'm a goddamn coward. For making you come over after the Clarke case and asking you to stay because I had no right to do so. And I apologize for making you leave your job, your family. I cannot let you give up all you've ever known because you don't deserve any of that. I understand that you won't forgive me that easily. All I'm asking you is to try. And if you come to the conclusion that you can't forgive me, I'll accept that and will retire. I've served enough years to do so and you're ready for your own team, too. This way you don't have to be one who's left hurting."

Tony knew that he was staring at him with an open mouth but he didn't care. What the hell was he talking about? Or more importantly, had he actually just told him all of that? Tony was on the edge of pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"And here I thought apologizing was a sign of weakness," he finally replied just to fill the silence and having something to say, covering up his utter surprise.

"That's because I am."

"What?"

"Weak. And an idiot."

Tony shook his head, still unable to process.

"You can't retire, Boss. You'll get crazy."

"No, Tony. I'd go crazy knowing that I left you to pick up the pieces, even if it's not your fault. I'd be crazy if I let you go."

"Are we… still talking about work now?"

Gibbs shook his head, locking eyes with him again. "No. I don't want to be without you. Not just at work but everywhere. Hell, I miss you lying in bed next to me, I miss you watching me working on the boat and I even miss your movie quotes."

"Until you freak out again."

Tony didn't know where that was coming from now but he knew that it had needed to be said. All of what Gibbs had been saying made sense, even to Tony, but it didn't resolve anything. And as much as Tony wished to be able to give in, wrap his arms around that goddamn coward, he just couldn't, too much was still left unsaid.

"No, Tony, I won't. I promise you, I won't. I don't say it'll be easy but I know I want you and I know you come with the package of being my partner at work, too. I'll learn to deal with it, learn to not freak out every time someone raises a gun at you. I don't say it will be easy but I promise to talk to you before I jump to any conclusions like before. I promise, Tony, I promise."

-x-

Hell, now he was begging. Really great. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't. That he would be all business. But Tony's expression switching from angry to vulnerable to disbelieving to hopeful every few seconds had left Gibbs with no other choice.

"Tony, what can I do to make you believe me?"

He saw Tony shrug, a kind of hopelessness cloaking him. "I don't know."

"So there is nothing I can do?" Gibbs prodded now, realizing he sounded more desperate with every word.

"I don't know, okay?" the younger man retorted, raising his voice. "I don't freaking know! You break up with me for no apparent reason, ignore me for three whole weeks, then hold on to me while you're having some sort of break down but then just let me walk away again and now you're telling me that you can't live without me? I don't know what to believe anymore, Gibbs."

The older man remained silent, knowing that Tony had every right in the world to be angry. He watched Tony stand up now, pacing around in his kitchen, alternately staring back at him and rubbing the back of his head.

"I get it, Tony," Gibbs finally continued, unable to stand the silence anymore. "I've been an ass. And I know I can't guarantee you anything. All I'm asking you, no, begging actually, is to give me a chance. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry."

Tony had stopped pacing, coming to a halt right in front of where Gibbs was sitting and the older man stood up now, so that he was facing him, determined to memorize every line on Tony's face in case it was the last time he would have the chance to do so.

"Are you asking me for another chance?" Tony whispered.

"Yeah."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"I get that. But it's just a chance. I promise if I screw up again you're free to send me halfway round the world if it means making you feel better. Like I said, I can't make any promises but… please," Gibbs trailed off now, looking into his green eyes that somehow were suddenly shimmering.

"One screw up and I'm gone," Tony finally replied.

Gibbs' heart stuttered for a moment, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Does that mean you're forgiving me?"

"I don't know," Tony shook his head slightly, "if I'm able to. But… I'm willing to try, I guess. I'm not saying that it will be easy but I'll try, okay?"

Gibbs suddenly felt tears threaten to fall and blinked a few times, the tension not willing to ease up. He tried to give him a smile but didn't even feel his lips twitch. For a fleeting moment, he tried to place his feelings only to realize that it was some kind of weird mix between gratefulness, hurt and hopefulness.

"You sure?" he finally pressed out.

Tony nodded and gave him something that would pass of as a half smile. Gibbs took a hesitant step forward and carefully took Tony's left hand and felt instantly relieved that Tony let him.

"I'm not making any promises," Tony replied. "And I'm not saying that it'll be easy because you really did… hurt me before, okay? I just know that I'd rather work this out properly before walking away, if that is what you're asking?"

"Yeah, that's all I want. Just another chance. The last one, too."

"Okay," Tony nodded, releasing a sigh.

"Okay," Gibbs echoed, increasing the pressure on Tony's hand. "Thank you."

Another nod. "It probably will take some time, though."

"Take all the time you need."

"I will."

Once again, a half smile appeared on his face, broader this time and Gibbs felt himself relax a bit. He knew that they would have to work hard for this, that he would have to go to all lengths to earn Tony's trust again but he was willing to do so. He was really ready to do it.

Gibbs didn't know how long they were standing there like that, just staring at each other, holding on to each other but finally Tony moved.

"Want to watch _Demolition Man_ with me?"

Gibbs let out a laugh at the sudden change of topic but nodded. "Yeah, I'd like to."

"Good answer," Tony grinned. "'cause if your answer would have been 'no', you'd regret it for the rest of your life… both seconds of it."

"Not going to knock me out with some ninja kick, are you?" Gibbs smirked, suddenly feeling elated.

He saw the look of utter disbelief on Tony's face and gave him the first real smile in three weeks.

"You never cease to amaze me, Jet. You've actually seen _Demolition Man_?"

With another laugh, Jet dropped down on the couch, right next to Tony, whose arm was resting against the backrest. He knew that they weren't even close to good again but they would work it out. He fervently hoped they would.

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think! :)_


	27. One At A Time

_A/N: Sorry for the slight delay, life got in the way ;)  
>Thanks again for the many (actually the most reviews I've ever gotten on one single chapter) reviews. You guys absolutely make my day!<em>

_Hope you like this one!_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Seven: One At A Time<span>**

Tony woke up the next morning due to the smell of fresh coffee in his nostrils. He turned around, momentarily confused who was in his apartment before he realized that Gibbs, no Jet, had crashed on the couch that night. They had watched the movie in relative silence but Tony had felt no need to say all that much because they really had talked a lot before and he had actually enjoyed just sitting on the couch, feeling Jet's body next to him and yet not quite touching. He still had no clue where this thing was going from now on but he was determined to find out. Granted, he still hadn't forgiven him entirely but the guy had practically begged him, had promised not to screw up again and Tony was willing to give him one more chance. But he also knew that this time they really had to take it slow with everything. And even though, Tony was usually not one to wait all that long with anything, being impatient does that to you, he was determined to take this one step at a time. Consequently, he hadn't even kissed Jet good night when he had finally gone to bed sometime around midnight. He had merely looked into the guy's eyes and he had realized that Jet understood where he was coming from and had only nodded and given him one of his half smiles.

Yawning, Tony finally got out of bed, slipped on a t-shirt and boxer shorts and went into the kitchen, where Jet was leaning against the counter, already fully dressed, a cup of coffee in his hands.

"Morning," Tony mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning," Jet replied, a half smile on his face.

Tony quickly glanced at his watch, wondering how in the world it was already seven o'clock. He'd really have to hurry to not come late to work but then again, Jet was still there, too, wearing the clothes from yesterday. Jet followed his glance and looked down his own body, that half smile finally growing into a full one.

"Got something to say there, DiNozzo?" he apparently tried to be gruff but was failing miserably doing so, causing Tony to chuckle.

"No, Sir," he stressed the unwanted title. "Just realized, we're both going to be late this morning."

"I'm not. I'm ready to go."

"Don't want to change your clothes?"

Jet just shrugged, that damn smile still not vanished. "Don't mind. It's not like anyone would be suspicious if I wore the same stuff two days in a row. I'm not you."

Tony let out a snort but realized that he was probably right. He shook his head, then stepped forwards, took the cup of coffee out of Jet's hand and gulped down a few sips, making a face about the lacking sweetness before he handed it back and left the kitchen in favor of a quick shower. He heard Jet chuckle behind him and turned around.

"What?" he inquired.

"Nothing." Another chuckle. "I'll see you at work then? Gonna head out now."

"Okay," Tony replied. "Going to kick my ass for coming in late?"

"Of course."

And with that, Jet grabbed his keys, squeezed Tony's shoulder as he passed him in the hallway and then was out the door, leaving the younger man standing there, slightly baffled before he got into gear again realizing that he would be _really _late.

-x-

Jethro sighed and glanced at his watch, wondering how one single day could go by so slowly. They hadn't caught a case, Vance wondrously hadn't asked anything from them, so they were stuck with following up on leads on cold cases but had found nothing as of now. He took the last sip from his coffee and threw the cup into the trash before he quickly looked around the bullpen. His three agents were unnaturally quiet today. Right now, Ziva was sitting at her desk, head on her hands, seemingly staring into thin air but Gibbs knew that she was probably just processing something that she had just read. Her eyes were fixed on Tony but they didn't follow his every move, a sure sign, she wasn't actually looking at him. Tim was staring at his computer screen, his brow furrowed, mouth slightly open, clearly concentrating hard. Still, something was wrong with him, he had been fidgeting all day, as if he had something really important to say but hadn't plucked up the courage to actually say it. Another sigh, and Gibbs averted his glance to look at Tony instead, who was staring at a file in front of him, his eyes unmoving, absent-mindedly tapping a pencil against his desk. Gibbs couldn't help the sudden smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth as he thought about that the guy had actually given him a second chance. He didn't know yet how it would work out or if Tony had actually forgiven him but he was willing to find out because he clearly wouldn't want to live like those last couple of weeks ever again. Gibbs sighed again and stood up. Surely, another cup of coffee would make the day go by faster, right?

-x-

"Tony?"

Tony looked up slightly startled, he hadn't heard McGee approach his desk at all. When had he become Mr. Ninja all of a sudden? Had he taken classes from Ziva?

"What's up, McProbie?"

"I, uh, we… that means Abby, Palmer, Ziva and me wanted to know what you're doing tonight."

Furrowing a brow, Tony glanced at Ziva now, who had also just approached him as if to back up McGee. What was the fuss about going out with them?

"I… don't know, yet. Why?"

"We were thinking about throwing you a farewell party," Ziva said now, smiling but yet it felt oddly out of place, Tony realized because the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Tony sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking from Ziva to McGee and back to Ziva. He knew that he should be happy to tell them that there was no need to but somehow he felt reluctant to do so. What if it wouldn't work out in the end? How would they react, would they still be that supportive of him? Or would they blame him if Jet would actually go through with his plan of retiring, then?

"Tony?" McGee prodded, disrupting his train of thought.

"Yeah, about that," Tony finally replied, knowing there wasn't a way of not telling them anyway as they would get suspicious if he would show up at work next week. "I'd delay it for a while."

"What do you mean, delay it?"

Tony chuckled ever so slightly as he saw confusion and then realization clearly written on his face. But then, just as Tony wanted to reply, an actual smile appeared on Tim's face and for a moment Tony felt his insides clench and he internally swore to himself that he would ease up on the pranks, would treat the guy better because that smile was real, was genuine. McGee did apparently care a lot about him and Tony wondered if he'd ever be able to make it up to him.

"Does that mean you've made up? You and Gibbs?"

Tony shrugged, not quite sure what to tell them. "Yeah, kind of. I still don't know what exactly is going on but we decided to give it another shot."

"That is great, Tony," Ziva said now, already on her way back to her desk.

"Thanks."

"If I were you," McGee said, "I'd go down to Abby's lab and tell her. She'll be really mad if she's left out."

"She gonna cry? Tell me how hot that is?"

McGee let out a laugh and made a face as he settled at his desk again and nodded. "Probably."

-x-

Gibbs had decided to take a detour to Abby's lab, a Caf-Pow! in his hand. He knew that she was still mad at him for letting Tony go in the first place and he was there, not to apologize, but to talk to her. The usual earsplitting music was playing in the lab but Abby heard him step in anyway and turned around.

"Hey Abs," he placed a kiss on her cheek and the drink in her hand.

"Gibbs," she replied, sitting down on a chair, sipping from the Caf-Pow! but not looking at him, clearly pouting.

"You wanna talk?" Gibbs asked, sitting down across from her, intently looking at her.

"What about?"

"I don't know, Abs. About the fact that you don't trust me anymore perhaps?"

"I never said that," she cried out now, finally looking at him. "But yes, I'm mad at you."

"So talk to me."

"Gibbs," Abby started. "You know you're a great guy. The greatest actually. But Tony's my friend, too. And he might be excellent at hiding his true feelings but even you have to see that he's hurting and I don't know what exactly has happened between the two of you but this isn't fair to him. Whatever he's done or whatever you've done, it can't be that bad that you two can't work it out. I mean, you're the two most stubborn men I've ever met - with the exception of my brother, but that's a whole different story, gonna save that for Christmas time – and I know Tony and he's going to apply to the FBI and you know how much he hates those guys. Can you imagine him working together with Fornell or Slacks? You really prefer letting him go to be called DiNutso all the time because you're too proud, because you want to stress a point? That's ridiculous, Gibbs. I mean, I love you and all but I don't think I can support that decision you've made, I just can't."

"You're done now?" Gibbs asked, the ghost of a smile on his lips, slightly touched by Abby's outburst because it showed how much she actually cared for them.

"No, not by a long shot."

"Shh," he interrupted her, holding up a hand and she actually stopped talking, the pout back on her face. "You're absolutely right."

"I usually am," she replied. "But?"

"No buts. I said you're right."

"I'm confused?" Abby said now and it sounded more like a question than anything else and Gibbs had trouble hiding a smile.

He remained silent for a few moments, giving Abby the time to open and close her mouth three times before she tilted her head ever so slightly, her eyes widening.

"Wait," she finally found her voice again. "Are you saying you two made up?"

Gibbs just shrugged but apparently Abby didn't need him to actually say the words because she sprang up and flung her arms around him, almost crushing his bones. Gibbs held on to her for a few moments, grinning to himself, glad that she was apparently not mad anymore. She let go of him a while later, her hands on both of his hands, the serious expression back on her face.

"No more mistakes," she said. "I mean it, Gibbs."

"No more mistakes," Gibbs repeated. "I promise."

"Good. I'm so happy for you guys. I always thought if one of you was a woman you should so definitely hook up. But even better this way now and I…"

"Abby," Jethro interrupted her again, chuckling slightly. "Hold your horses, okay? We're still working through our problems, don't go planning the wedding reception or anything. Slow."

"Okay, Bossman. But slow doesn't mean you're not serious, right?"

"Abs, of course not. Just… let us figure everything out on our own. Tony… I mean, we're going to need some time."

"Got it," she winked at him and Gibbs finally smiled at her, kissed her forehead and then left the lab, leaving her behind, practically bouncing up and down on her chair.

Just as he was about to round the corner to the elevators, he all but ran into Tony who had apparently lurking there for a while now.

"Hey there," the younger man greeted him slyly.

"Eavesdropping are we now?"

"Didn't mean to, honestly," Tony held up his hands in mock innocence, grinning at him. "Wanted to tell her the same thing you did."

Gibbs nodded and pressed the button for the elevator and only seconds later, the car arrived and both of them stepped in.

-x-

Tony leaned back against the metal walls, still grinning. He hadn't expected Jet to be that honest to Abby and he realized with a start that the older man had really meant what he had told him yesterday. Tony had known that before of course but hearing him say it to someone else had made it somehow even more real. Tony was roused from his musing as the lights above him flickered and the elevator came to a standstill.

"What's up?" he asked, eyeing Jet curiously.

"I take it McGee and Ziva know already?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. But they wanted to throw me some kind of farewell party, so I had to tell them that I'm not leaving."

"It's okay. Maybe McGee won't be that mad at me anymore, then."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You didn't notice? He's been staring at me for weeks now as though he wanted to say something to me but has never actually had the guts."

"Probie's growing up," Tony grinned.

He'd have to pay more attention to the younger agent, not that he would outstrip him sometime in the future if he would actually start speaking up to Gibbs.

"He's a good friend," Jet unexpectedly said, causing Tony to nod thoughtfully.

"That he is, yeah."

Just as the older man was about to flick the emergency switch again, Tony cleared his throat.

"Hey Jet?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling Abby to back off for a while. I'm not sure how I'd handle that at the moment."

Jet made two step forwards now, so that he was standing closer to him but still not quite in his personal space.

"You said you needed time and I get and respect that. We're going to take this at your pace. No problem."

"Thanks," Tony replied with a smile. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"As long as it doesn't involve sleeping on your couch again, I'm game."

"Back hurting?" As he saw Jet nod, Tony continued. "Sorry. No, I was actually thinking about a fun night out, you know. I have this friend, who's a tour guide for the Washington DC TV and Movie Sites. I mean, he doesn't know half the stuff I know, but I'm sure it'll be fun and he's been bugging me about this for ages. Come on, you can't say no to the bar from _St. Elmo's Fire_, can you?"

"We're no tourists, Tony," Jet sighed but Tony was able to see slight amusement in his blue eyes.

"Ah come on, don't deny me the fun. Let's take that tour and after that you can decide what we do. Deal?"

"Okay," Jet replied, smirking at him.

-x-

Jet couldn't help but stare at Tony instead of whatever the guide was showing them. He was sure that the younger man had seen all of those sights before, probably a hundred of times but still he was smiling so broadly, eagerly hanging on the guide's every word that Jet was for a fleeting moment reminded of Kelly, whenever he had taken her to the National Museum. She had been just as equally engrossed in the things that were displayed there as Tony was with his movie sights. The tour wasn't much but Jet hadn't regretted one second that he came here with Tony that evening. They were genuinely having fun, Tony babbling on about some movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and a scene in a mall, Jet watching the younger man.

At one point, Tony's hand brushed against his own and Jet felt a slight shiver running down his spine. First, he thought it had been accidently but then he looked up at Tony and the guy gave him such a broad smile that for the first time, Jet actually believed that Tony would be able to forgive him at the end because he was finally able to see that sparkle in his green eyes again.

Quite some time later, it was already dark outside, Jet was leaning against a wall, waiting for Tony who was chatting animatedly with his friend, the tour guide. He quickly checked his watch, wondering if they would still be able to catch the basketball game on TV as he saw Tony motioning him to come join them, so he slowly made his way over to where they were standing.

"Jet, this is Stephen. He was one of my team mates at OSU, though not as talented as I was," he grinned, as he got punched playfully on his arm by Stephen. "And this is Jethro, my, uh…"

Tony trailed off now, hesitating.

"Your, uh, what?" Stephen chimed in, while shaking Jet's hand.

"Boss," Jet finally replied.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not completely honest, huh, T? Why'd you bring your boss to this? He doesn't strike me as a movie buff. No offense."

"Complicated," Tony answered, shrugging, just as Stephen's cell started to ring.

"Excuse me," he said, shaking first Jet's and then Tony's hand. "If it ever stops being complicated, give me a call, will you? Maybe you two could grab a bite with me and Lance, huh?"

With that and a wink at Tony, he picked up his cell and walked away from them.

"Sorry about that," Tony shrugged. "He never knows when to shut up."

Gibbs just chuckled and shook his head. "No problem. So we're complicated, huh?"

Another shrug. "I don't know. Didn't want to, you know, out us or whatever."

"It's okay, no worries," Jet gave him his best smile. "Want to grab some takeout and watch the game at my place?"

"Sure, why not."

Tony quickly glanced around as if to make sure that no one was watching them before he took Jet's hand and squeezed it softly before he leaned forward to whisper into his ear.

"I'm working on the not-complicated-part."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Let me know what you think! :)_


	28. Wizards and Curiosities

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews! :) A little less than usual but hey, can I blame 'Irene' for that? xD _

_Nah, hope everyone on the East Coast is fine and undamaged! :)  
><em>

_On with the next chapter, then... hope you like this one better! xD_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Eight: Wizards and Curiosities<span>**

"I think I'm going to head home now," Tony said, yawning widely, stretching himself.

They had spent a comfortable evening, sitting on Jet's couch, eating Chinese takeout, watching the game. Except for occasional outburst about the incompetence of the referees and some players, they hadn't talked all that much but Jet couldn't have cared less. He had just enjoyed having Tony in his house again, without a fight, without some serious talk.

Still, his statement about going home was tugging uncomfortably at Jet's insides now. He took a deep breath, trying not to let his disappointment show.

"Okay," he finally answered, involuntarily tensing up against the backrest.

"That's okay, right? You're not mad?" Tony asked, his eyes meeting Jet's as if he had sensed his reluctance to let him go.

"Yeah, Tony. Your pace, remember?"

"I appreciate it."

The younger man got up now, grabbed his jacket, took a few steps forwards before he turned around and gave Jet a smile, flashing his teeth and the older man couldn't help but return it, though it felt slightly off, even to himself. Tony was suddenly by his side again, bent down and quickly placed a kiss on his cheek. Jet felt his heart pick up pace as he leaned into the short touch. Far too soon, Tony had retreated though, and with one last look, he was out the door, leaving Jet sitting there strangely empty as he glanced around the abandoned living-room.

Just as Jethro was ready to tuck himself in half an hour later, he heard his cell phone ring and he quickly searched the pockets of his jeans until he found it. Glancing at the caller ID, he grinned to himself and pushed the button to answer the call.

"Hey."

"Hey Jet, what are you doing?" came Tony's voice through the phone, a hint of tease clearly conceivable.

"Just about getting ready for bed," he replied, while he slipped under the covers, making himself comfortable.

"Sounds about right for the time of the day. No boat tonight?"

"Nah. Don't have a reason to soothe myself today."

"No?" Jet was able to hear Tony chuckle on the other end of the line. "You're not bothered about the others knowing about us? Not bothered that I almost, or kind of, outed us to a – for you – complete stranger? And on top of that, your idiot boyfriend's not even willing to spend the night at your place."

Jet let out a laugh before he answered, matching Tony's ironic inflection. "Well, if you put it that way, I guess, it has been a pretty lousy day."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Work was hell today, boss gave me hell and those stares all the time, really bad."

"Couldn't have been more unnerving as my Senior Field Agent giving me those smiles all day long."

"Right," Tony dragged out the word and Jet realized that it was actually a yawn.

"You had a reason to call, Tony?" he asked, realizing that he wouldn't have called just to tease him – but then again, maybe he had.

"Nah, not really. I just realized I hadn't said good night to you. So, uh… good night."

"Good night, Tony," Jet replied, a fuzzy feeling spreading in his stomach. "See you tomorrow."

"Night."

With that the line went dead and Jethro realized that he was smiling at the empty room in front of him like an idiot.

-x-

Tony had to admit that it felt a bit strange walking into work the next day. It wasn't that he hadn't spent the night at Jet's house or anything but it was because the others knew about them now, knew that they were trying to work it out but Tony had no idea how they would actually handle it. Granted, they had been very supporting before, had even encouraged him to give this thing with Gibbs another chance but how would they react if Gibbs would suddenly play favorites, if he or Tony would freak out about something and got into a fight? Or, horrors of horror, they would break up again, leaving McGee and Ziva to pick sides or even worse, how would they react if Gibbs would actually go through with his plan of retiring? Would they blame him? Would they realize that their boss and teammate getting together had been a really bad idea? But all of that wasn't actually the main concern on Tony's mind as he settled at his desk. It was rather the question whether Ziva and McGee would be curious. Would they start asking questions? Tim probably not and he was used to Ziva asking personal questions, he could deal with that but would Abby, Ms. Nosy in person, keep her promise that she had given Gibbs the other day?

To Tony's relief, he didn't even have a chance to talk to Abby all morning and the other two were apparently too occupied with catching up on a few cold cases that they didn't even as much as glance sideways at him or Gibbs. By lunchtime, Tony had settled into a more comfortable frame of mind.

"Go and grab some lunch. Seems like a slow day. I'll call you, if anything comes up," Gibbs suddenly stated, already halfway up the stairs to MTAC.

"Antonio's?" McGee almost immediately asked, grinning broadly at the unexpected lunch break.

"Sounds good," Ziva replied and Tony nodded in agreement. "I will drive."

"Oh, you're so not," Tony cut in, "I want to actually keep my food in my stomach, you know."

"I agree," Abby, who had just joined them in the bullpen, grinned. "Can I come?"

"Don't have to ask. Come on, let's go before the bossman changes his mind," Tony all but ordered, causing Abby and Tim to chuckle.

Tony let it slide for a moment, they would ask soon enough anyway, so he strode to the elevators, the others following him.

-x-

"So, what's new?" Tony asked halfway into his pizza, suddenly realizing that he had been so occupied with what was going on with himself that he had no clue anymore what was going on in the other's lives.

"Nothing much," Abby answered. "One of the nuns can't bowl anymore, which kind of sucks a lot. So we're looking for a substitute. You're not considering, are you? Because I asked Timmy but he claims to be busy."

"Hey! I am," McGee interrupted her.

"With what, Elf Lord?" Tony couldn't help but tease him but immediately remembered his vow to treat him better. "I mean is there someone, who's keeping you busy?"

To his surprise, McGee who had looked at him only a moment before suddenly seemed to be very busy with picking at the salad in front of him. Tony chuckled ever so slightly.

"Uh, who is she?" Abby chimed in again, curiosity plastered all over her face. "Or he?"

"What?" McGee's cheeks were dark red by now. "No, she's a she. Why would you of all people even ask?"

Abby shrugged, grinning broadly. "Times are a-changing. These days you never know. Or would you have thought that Tony would shack up with Mr. Bossman?"

"Abby," Tony sighed exasperated, trying to keep himself from blushing now. "Let it rest, okay? Obviously, Tiny Tim here doesn't want to talk about it."

He quickly looked at McGee who shot him a surprised and yet thankful glance before he continued eating.

"How is it by the way?" Abby resumed the chat as if the exchange between Tony and Tim had never happened.

"How is what?"

Tony mumbled, sipping from his coke, thinking fast about how to change the topic but as he looked up again, he saw Ziva also staring at him and he realized that they wouldn't let him off the hook as easily as McGee. Certainly, they had planned to ambush him like that for a long time.

"Don't play dumb, Mister," the Goth replied. "We want to know everything. How's Gibbs when you're alone? Maybe you can finally tell us the mystery of how he has managed to get married four times? Come on, give us something, please?"

"Your puppy eyes won't get you anywhere, Abs. And your death glares aren't helping either, Ziva."

He picked up his fork and knife again, feeding himself with pizza, desperately trying to ignore the two women, who were still staring at him intently. After a few minutes, however, he let the silverware drop to his plate again, unable to take the looks anymore.

"Fine," he sighed, causing Abby to ball her hands into fists with a silent triumphant 'yes' on her lips. "What do you want to know? One question each, okay?"

"Hmm, where do I even start?" Abby pouted slightly but still grinned at him.

"I have one," Ziva interrupted. "I do know when you two got together but I do not know how. So, tell us what happened?"

"Well, I've been over at his place and we were drinking like… a lot. Much too much in my case actually. We were talking about something and suddenly he looked at me all weird and I thought, or actually my drunken mind thought, it would good idea to just kiss him."

"And he was okay with that just like that?" Ziva inquired but Tony shook his head, holding up his hand.

"One question, remember?"

"Fine," Ziva mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Uh, my turn," Abby exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down her chair and Tony wondered when the people around them would get suspicious about her excitement. "So, what is he like? You know at home, when you're alone? And I'm not talking about the dirty stuff, though I do like to know about that, too, but not right now."

Subtly shaking his head, Tony considered the question for a moment, not really having thought about it before. "He's… nice."

"Nice?" Abby rolled her eyes. "But he's always nice."

"To you maybe, not to us."

"And how does that being nice make itself perceivable? And don't tell me I've got only one question because 'nice' is not an answer, DiNozzo."

"Well, he's nice, you know. Uhm, considerate? Actually asks before he does something, wants my opinion and stuff. It's a nice change. But he does head slap me from time to time."

Abby let out a laugh, her eyes twinkling. "And you accept that?"

"The head slaps? Nah, I just hit him right back. Like this," he added and softly poked her arm.

"So cute," Abby all but giggled before she finally picked up her fork again and continued eating her pasta, apparently satisfied for the moment.

Just as Tony had taken another bite of his pizza, McGee suddenly cleared his throat and he looked at him again. In contrast to Ziva and Abby, who were still smiling slightly, he had a rather serious and slightly uncomfortable expression on his face as if he was afraid to say what was on his mind.

"What is it, McGee?" Tony asked, knowing that whatever question he'd like to ask would come sooner or later anyway.

"Uh," McGee started, reverting to his stuttering probie days. "He treats you right, right? I mean, are you sure you've made the right decision in taking him back?"

"Weren't you the one that told me to?" Tony replied, slightly confused.

"Yeah… no… I mean, you've thought this through, right? Making sure that this is what you really want?"

Slightly touched, Tony averted his glance from the younger man instead staring at his pizza again.

"Yeah, it's what I want. You've seen what I was like those last couple of weeks, I was as miserable as I can get. It's not like now we've made up, everything is just great again, because it isn't but I really want to work it out, okay?"

"Good," Abby unexpectedly said, squeezing his hand for a moment. "And now let's get eating again or Gibbs will punish us for not coming back to work for so long."

-x-

Gibbs looked up as his three agents finally joined him in the bullpen again. McGee and Ziva seemed to be content but Tony's cheeks were slightly flushed, the grin he was sporting somehow off. He caught his eyes for a moment and Tony shrugged almost imperceptibly. Gibbs nodded at him before he turned to look at his computer again, hoping that they would finally catch a case.

A few minutes later that weird pop up thing that told him he had an email showed up on his screen and he opened it, wondering who would even bother to write him an email as he never replied to one anyway. As he read Tony's name, he quickly glanced at the desk across the room and saw the younger man staring at him, an eyebrow raised. Gibbs quickly opened the file and read.

_You busy tonight?_

Barely containing a smile, Gibbs quickly replied.

_Not really. What do you want to do? _

Gibbs subtly shook his head, wondering why he would even answer via email, it wasn't like he couldn't just talk to the guy. But as he was still thinking about that, Tony had already answered.

_No clue. Any suggestions? Weather is supposed to be nice. And it should be as far away from Abby and Ziva as possible._

Furrowing a brow, Gibbs looked at Ziva who was still grinning slightly before he averted his glance to Tony and saw him shrugging again.

_Okay, I'll think of something. What did they do?_

_Well, Abby didn't keep her promise for long. Wasn't that bad but you know…_

_Okay. Should I go talk to her?_

_Nah, there's no need. But thanks._

Gibbs closed the program, cast a quick glance at Tony again, who gave him a small smile, before he got to work again, his mind at the task thinking of what to do that evening.

-x-

"You're still not telling me where we're going?" Tony complained as he hopped onto the passenger seat of Jet's truck.

He had just told him to wear something casual as they had left work that evening and Jet inwardly grinned at Tony's impatience. Sure, he could just tell him but what would be the fun in that, right?

"Nope."

"I hate it when you do that," Tony stated, playfully pouting.

"I know."

"You're evil."

The younger man poked him on the arm, slightly harder than Jet was used to but he chose to ignore it. For the most part of the drive, they remained silent but he didn't mind as he was just savoring in the feeling of having Tony next to him and the slight mischief of letting the other man guess where they were going. Only a few streets away from their destination, Tony finally turned to look at him, a broad smile on his face.

"Oh, I know where we're going now," he said. "Verizon Center, right? _Wizards_ are playing tonight."

Jet just nodded, glad that Tony was apparently satisfied with his choice of date.

"I haven't been at a game in like forever."

"Why not? Your boss keeping you on your toes all the time?"

"You bet. He's an evil bastard."

"You keep saying that," Jet grinned, pulling over at the stadium.

-x-

Tony wondered how Jet had been able to get such good seats in such a short time. They had really decent one, providing them with a good look at the court. He hadn't been at a game in almost a year but hadn't realized how much he had actually missed it. He wasn't that big a _Wizards _fan, preferring the _Knicks_ most of the time, but he was soon consumed by the energy around them. Even Jet seemed to be engrossed in the match because every time Tony would spare a glance at him, he never noticed him staring at him, instead just followed what was going on down on the court, always a slight smile on his lips.

Tony made a mental note of taking the guy to more games like that as he seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. It was when he felt his heart stutter for a moment before it picked up its normal rhythm again. Since they had reconciled, Tony hadn't thought much about the future. He had taken it step by step that last couple of days, only thinking about the next move. But making plans for the not immediate future had to mean something, right? Smiling, Tony looked at Jet again and he seemed to notice him this time, finally turning turned around to face the younger man.

"Everything alright?" Jet asked.

"Yeah, thanks for taking me."

"Anytime."

"I'll hold you to that," Tony replied, looking into his blue eyes.

Momentarily lost in them, Tony leaned into the other man as if to kiss him before he remembered where they were and almost instantly backed away again. Jet gave him a half smile and placed his left hand on Tony's knee, squeezing it ever so slightly. Tony let him, not caring if someone would see them. With another smile, he averted his glance from the older man and followed the match, groaning at the end due to the almost devastating loss of the _Wizards._

-x-

Jet pulled over at Tony's apartment and stopped the engine, looking at the other man, who had been fidgeting the whole drive home.

"Okay, so thanks again," he finally said, giving him a broad smile that caused Jet to feel all fuzzy on the inside all of a sudden.

"No problem. Was a nice evening, despite the miserable game."

"You're right about that, they really should have traded Nowitzki or Bryant."

Jet snorted, leave it to Tony to pick the unlikeliest switches. They remained silent for a few moments, with Tony staring into his eyes again but yet somehow still managing to keep on fidgeting.

"Look," Jet finally started, having a pretty good idea what was bothering the younger man. "You don't have to ask me to stay the night. I'm fine with whatever you want to do."

"Okay," Tony answered thoughtfully, not once averting his glance from his eyes. "Then I won't ask you to come up with me. But… can I kiss you instead?"

"You don't have to ask," Jet smirked, leaning a bit forwards, not daring to make the last move as he had promised to let Tony set the pace.

He didn't have to wait long though for Tony to close the small between them and as his lips softly brushed against his own, Jet felt his heart skip a beat or two. It was a tender kiss, almost reluctant, unlike many of those they had shared before. Jethro savored in it as long as he could but Tony broke their connection far too soon. He almost didn't mind though as he saw the broad smile on Tony's face, just glad to actually see him smile like that again.

"Okay, then," Tony finally broke the silence between them. "I'll see you tomorrow at work?"

"Yeah," Jet replied, softly squeezing the younger man's shoulder. "See you at work."

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, reviews would be awesome! :)_


	29. Home Videos and Promises

_A/N: Once again thank you for your reviews. I hope you like the next chapter, too, and leave a comment. It's a rather important one, I believe. Time to move things forward a bit, right? :)_

_Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS, James Bond, Indiana Jones or Alien._

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty-Nine: Home Videos and Promises<span>**

A week had passed with no real changes and Jet was slowly getting slightly restless. He knew he had promised Tony to go with his pace but there was never more than a kiss good night. It wasn't like Gibbs didn't like it per se. He actually remembered what it was like in high school, going out with a girl for a while, wooing her before things would get really serious. And granted, they had caught a pretty nasty case which had barely left them with a second for themselves but despite that they had managed to go out to dinner three times and yet nothing had happened. Jet was glad that Tony was giving him another chance, was glad that he was able to see the younger man on a daily basis and be it just at work, was glad that things were slowly getting back to normal again. But somehow that whole 'don't spend the night' made him feel itchy like he was missing something important.

So when they had finally closed the case, had put the murderer behind bars with McGee and Ziva long gone, Jet approached Tony's desk, where he was still busy typing his report.

"Hey," Jet greeted him, a smile on his face, like he hadn't seen him for 26 hours straight.

"Hey yourself," Tony looked up now, flashing his trademark smile, his eyes locking into Jet's. "What's up?"

Gibbs shrugged casting a quick glance around to make sure no one was there to listen. "Would you like to watch a movie tonight?"

"Sure," Tony's smile got even broader now. "My place?"

"Of course, I doubt you'd want to watch the same James Bond all over again."

"You can never watch enough of 007, Jet," another grin. "But you're right. My place. Bring takeout?"

"Sure."

-x-

Jet looked around slightly uncomfortable and knocked again. Three knocks and Tony still hadn't answered his door. Jet leaned forward, pressing his ear to the door and was able to hear water running. Maybe Tony was in the shower. Searching the pockets of his coat, he pulled out a picklock and made quick work of the door and let himself him.

"Tony?" he cried out, now sure that the younger man was still in the shower.

"Shower. Sorry, had to talk to my neighbor when I got home. Make yourself comfortable, pick a movie. I'll be right there."

Jet just nodded as if Tony could see him, threw his coat over the recliner and wandered over to the bookshelves where Tony's many DVD were standing. First, Jet wondered how in the world Tony was ever able to find the movie he was looking for as the DVDs didn't seem to be organized at all but then he suddenly realized that they were sorted by year. Jet quickly skipped the 80s, remembering far too many stupid ones that he had used to watch together with Shannon. As he reached the end of a particular long row of the year 1979, three DVDs caught him by surprise because they had no label whatsoever. Gibbs picked one up, held it at arm's length and was just able to make out Tony's scrawl on the DVD.

_The Hamptons, 1975_

Furrowing a brow, Jet looked at the DVD case a bit longer before he shrugged and went over to the television set and started the DVD-player. Settling on the couch, he was somewhat startled as the movie began to play almost immediately. Wasn't there supposed to be some kind of menu or something? He was about to look for the remote to pause it, so that Tony wouldn't miss anything, as he caught sight of a little boy who couldn't have been older than seven. He was running around a garden, a broad smile on his face, his green eyes all but twinkling into the camera. The camera followed his every move and soft giggles were to be heard. Another round across the grassland and Jet was able to see a large bruise on the young boy's upper arm. Seemingly unperturbed by that though, the boy just continued to laugh into the camera and Jet realized with a start that it was Tony. He was now able to hear a faint voice of a woman somewhere in the background. She was probably the one who was holding the camera.

_Come here, Junior._

Another broad smile appeared on the boy's face as he approached her and Jet felt his insides clench as another large bruise was to be seen on his neck.

_Momma?_ The boy asked now. _Are you okay?_

_I'm great, Anthony._

The smile on the boy's face had suddenly vanished but he was still approaching the woman who was holding the camera.

_Are you sure? You look pale, Momma._

Jet's stomach almost turned as he saw the serious look on the boy's face that no one younger than thirty should ever sport.

_I'm good, dear. Would you mind holding the camcorder for a while so I can get on film, too?_

_Of course._

The movie flickered for a few moments and all that was to be seen was grass and a pair of high heels before the camera focused again, this time on a rather beautiful woman. She was clearly Tony's mother and Gibbs wondered for a moment how the kid could look so alike his father and yet had the same resemblance to his mother. Her gold brown hair was falling down her shoulders in messy curls and she smiled broadly – clearly that famous DiNozzo smile – but her green eyes were somehow not smiling along with the rest of her face. They somehow seemed to be cold, Jet thought, but that didn't quite cut it. Did they actually look hollow, dead?

_You look beautiful._

Jet couldn't help but smile at that, clearly this was Tony talking, charming the wits out of everyone, even his own mother. The woman on film smiled broadly at him again and reached out her hand and the film flickered again as Tony made a few steps forwards and took his mom's hand. He then apparently set the camcorder down on the grass as there were only a few blades of grass to be seen and those high heels from before that were now going round in circles as if she had picked up the small boy and was now whirling him around. Jet was able to hear those giggles from before again.

_I love you, Tony. Always remember that._

_Love you too, Momma._

-x-

Tony stood frozen in the door frame and stared at the television as the film faded out. He hadn't been prepared to see his mother and felt his insides clench. He had rarely ever watched that home video, reserving it for a few special occasions, when he would lock himself in his apartment, open a bottle of vodka and watch it again and again until he was too drunk to care anymore.

He didn't know how long he was standing there just staring at the blank television screen, unable to do as much as blink his eyes. It was only when he felt an arm encircling his waist that he remembered that Jet was there. He looked the guy in the eye, desperately trying to gulp down the lump that had formed in his throat and just wouldn't vanish.

"Sorry," Jet finally whispered. "I didn't mean to… I didn't know."

"'s okay," Tony pressed out and felt himself drawn closer to the older man.

He willingly let him, pulling his arms around Jet, too, engaging him in a tight embrace. He rested his forehead against the other man's shoulder, trying to get rid of the image of his mother smiling into the camera. He didn't know how long they stood like that, holding each other in their arms, in Tony's case clinging to the man for dear life, not saying a word, just Jet's arms stroking his back in a soothing manner. He only knew that when he finally pulled away, he realized that Jet's polo shirt had a large water stain where he had just rested his head moments before. He hadn't even been aware that he was crying and he quickly wiped away the remains of the tears from his face before he looked at Jet. He gave him a small smile at the moment and carefully brought his thumb to Tony's cheek, caressing it.

"You okay?"

Tony nodded, finally let go of him and sat down on the couch with Jet mirroring his actions.

"Just wasn't prepared to see it… her. Haven't in a while."

"Okay," Jet just said, picking up the action of stroking his back again.

"I usually just watch it on her birthday, you know. I know it should make me happy having the chance to see her again like that – happy. But the things that happened afterwards…"

He trailed off now, looking away from Jet, instead finding interest in his feet. They remained silent for a long time and even though Tony was able to feel the other man's eyes on him, he never once said anything, just continued to let his hand slide up and down his back until Tony was finally able relax a bit.

"It wasn't long afterwards that she was first admitted into the hospital for alcohol abuse, you know. I never saw her like that ever again. I mean, I know when I look at the video now that she was drunk, the eyes always gave her away but I think I didn't realize at the time. I was just happy, you know, to have her there, doing stuff with me, laughing with me, just actually look at me. It made me happy and it didn't matter what had happened before that day and stuff."

Tony feebly remembered falling down the stairs in their vacation home with his father towering over him the day previously. He quickly tried to blank the thought out of his mind but Jet, investigator that he was, suddenly stopped caressing his back and put a finger under Tony's chin to make him look at him.

"Where did the bruises come from, Tones?"

Tony blinked once, twice, trying to keep the tears at bay. He sighed and brushed his fingers through his hair. He didn't know what it was exactly, the way Jet was staring at him, full of lo… no, care, that made him spill his guts or the never before used nickname.

"I think I fell down the stairs the day before," he finally whispered and tried to look away from the intense stare of those goddamn blue eyes but Jet wouldn't let him, holding his chin in place.

"Are you sure about that?"

Tony sighed again and then shook his head.

"You know where they came from. Dad pushed me down the stairs. I don't remember why exactly, I think I've spilled his drink or something."

"Your mom knew about that?" Jet asked now, his voice stern but yet incredibly soothing to Tony.

"I don't know. Maybe. I never said anything and she was probably too out of it most of the time. Or she was drinking because of that. I don't know."

"I'm sorry," Jet just said, pulling him into a hug again.

Again, there was silence for what seemed to be a very long time with Tony holding on to Jet and Jet holding on to him. Tony noticed only after they finally broke apart that Jet was taking deep breaths, as if to calm himself and he realized with a start that Jet seemed to be angry as his cheeks were flushed.

"Are you angry?" he finally asked, wondering what he had done wrong now.

"Damn right, I am," came the answer and Tony immediately tried to back away from him but Jet got hold of his left hand an softly squeezed it. "But not at you, you know that, right?"

Tony nodded, unsure of how to react.

"But…"

"I'm mad at your old man, of course," Jet cut him off, his lips pressed together tightly.

"It's okay, Jet," Tony replied, tracing patterns on the back of Jet's hand with his thumb. "I mean, I know it's not okay but it's been ages ago."

A small smile appeared on the older man's face and Tony released a breath he hadn't even known he had been holding. Why exactly was he soothing him now anyway? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

"Did you ever talk about it? You and your father, I mean?"

Tony shook his head sadly before he answered. "No. But I grew up and I got stronger. It wasn't until I was seventeen that I was finally able to fight him back but I did it. I broke my hand in the course but I managed to give him a black eye and ever since then, he hasn't laid a hand on me, I swear."

"I'm so sorry."

Jet's expression had changed from angry to worried and Tony tried to give him a small smile but wasn't actually sure whether the corners of his mouth actually moved.

"It's okay. I got disinherited the day afterwards but it wasn't like I was dependent on him anyway. I was actually glad, you know, finally be able to be my own man, make my own decisions without the man on my back."

Tony was able to see Jet nod again and relaxed a bit, leaning back against the couch, taking a deep breath. The older man next to him did the same, putting his arm on the backrest and starting to run his fingers through Tony's hair.

"Thanks for telling me," he finally all but whispered, causing Tony to look at him.

"It's not as if you gave me much of a choice," he replied, finally feeling a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "But I wanted to tell you, too."

"Okay."

-x-

Hadn't Gibbs been that angry and that sad about what Tony had just told him, he would have felt happy actually. Of course, Tony telling him about getting beaten up by his own father wasn't a reason to be glad at all but Gibbs couldn't help but feel relieved that Tony seemed to have found his trust in him again. He could have just thrown him out of his apartment because he had been curious about the movie, could have shouted at him for overstepping boundaries but there they were sitting now, leaning against each other, talking to each other in earnest. Pulling his arm around the younger man, he drew him closer and Tony let his head sink down onto his shoulder again, sighing heavily.

"Jethro?"

"Yeah?" Jet replied, slightly startled by the use of his actual name.

"Remember when you told me that you… that you would go with me to my mother's grave?"

The older man just nodded, recalling the scene in his basement just before Tony had kissed him for the very first time.

"You meant that?"

"Of course, Tony. If you want me there."

Tony remained silent for a few moments, rubbing his hand over his face and Jet realized only now that he had been crying again.

"Can we go sometime? I mean, she's buried in New York and I realize it's not something you just do when you've got a few hours off from work and stuff."

"Whenever you want. Maybe next weekend when we're not on call? We could stay in New York for the weekend, too, if you want that."

Tony shifted in his arms, so that he was able to look at him and for a fleeting moment Jethro thought that he would decline but then a soft smile appeared on his face, remarkably similar to his mother's in the home video.

"I'd like that."

"It's a plan, then."

"Can I pick the hotel, too?"

Jet let out a laugh at the sudden change of mood that was clearly visible on Tony's face. He was smiling genuinely now, his eyes twinkling again and Jet felt himself relax looking into the smiling face.

"Yes, you can."

"Awesome."

Tony leaned into him and softly pressed his lips against Jet's for a moment before he let go again and all but jumped up and walked towards his DVDs.

"Had anything in mind before you stumbled over the home videos?" he asked, his voice still a bit shaky but loads stronger than before.

Realizing that the younger man was trying to change the topic, Jet also stood up and approached him, pulling his arms around Tony's waist from behind. To his relief, he not only let him but leaned back into the touch, so that Gibbs was able to rest his chin on Tony's shoulder.

"Nah, you know me, I'm fine with anything. But no 80s, if that's okay."

Raising an eyebrow, Tony tilted his head a bit to be able to glance sideways at him.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"If I ever have to watch another _Alien_ movie ever again, I promise you to smash your TV into pieces. I had to watch it over and over with Shan back then. I swear I hated it."

"Well, technically, A_lien_ came out in 1979 but okay, I'll think of something else."

"Thanks," Jet replied grinning, placing a kiss on Tony's neck.

"How about Indiana Jones? I swear there are no aliens in there. At least not until the latest sequel but that hardly counts as an Indy movie anyway."

"Okay."

-x-

Smiling slightly, Tony softly shook Jet's shoulders a few hours later. He had fallen asleep about an hour into the second movie and Tony had let him sleep as he liked to just watch the man laying there, utterly relaxed, the worries of the world completely vanished from his features.

"Hey sleepyhead, time to go to bed."

Jet blinked himself awake, distractedly looking around for a moment before he apparently realized that he had his head on Tony's thigh, his legs over the armrest of Tony's comfy couch.

"Can I crash on your couch tonight?" he asked, yawning widely. "I'm in no state to drive right now."

"Nah, you can't," Tony replied, teasing. "But you can stay in my bed, if you want."

"You sure?" Gibbs had sat up now, closely looking at him.

"Yeah, positive. Have to get used to it before we're going to New York, right?"

"Yeah," he just replied, giving him a smile – and not one of those half ones but a real one, a bright one and Tony felt his stomach getting fuzzy all of a sudden.

He stood up now, taking Jet's hand and all but dragged him into the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers, expectantly looking at the older man.

"Coming?"

Jet just nodded, also undressed to his boxers and then almost hesitantly climbed into bed next to him, careful not to touch him.

Tony reached over him to turn off the light that was standing on the nightstand and quickly gave Jet a kiss on his lips before he backed away, turning around so that his back was facing the older man now. It didn't take long, though, until he felt an arm encircling his waist as Jet moved to spoon up against him from behind.

"That's okay, right?" he heard him whisper sleepily.

"Yeah, it is."

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, please! :)_


	30. Mothers and Fathers

_A/N: Hey! Thanks again for your reviews. Pure awesomeness :)_

_ I don't know if I'll be able to update as frequently as I have been because I'm about to start a new job tomorrow, so..._

_Anyways, I hope you like this chapter! :)_

_Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or 'New York, New York'._

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty: Mothers and Fathers<span>**

"Tony?"

He stopped dead in his tracks as he had just been about to leave Abby's lab to report her findings back to the team.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning around, smiling at the Goth.

"Remember when I told you we were one short at bowling?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think you could fill the void for only this Saturday? We're really desperate by now."

"Nuns get desperate?" Tony slightly smirked as he saw Abby placing her hands on her hips, sternly looking at him.

"You know what I mean, Tony. So help us out, please? For me?"

Tony sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to not look into her puppy eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't. I've got plans for this weekend."

"You sound like McGee. The guy's not available for anything lately."

"Let him have his fun, Abs. Lord knows he deserves it."

"What is up with you lately?" Abby asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's so not like you not teasing him and stuff. Did Gibbs say something?"

"No and since when do I listen to what Gibbs says?" Tony grinned at her.

"Who knows who's wearing the breeches in your relationship?"

"I know," Tony smirked again and was about to turn around as Abby cleared her throat.

"So? Bowling?"

"Sorry, Abs. I really can't. Jet and I are going to New York this weekend."

"Jet?" Abby replied, barely hiding the grin that was building on her lips. "You seriously call him Jet?"

"Yeah, Jet's cool."

"Totally fly, yeah." Another smirk. "Jethro just didn't do for you?"

"Remember how Jenny always called him Jethro? Her exasperated voice? Je-thrrro," Tony imitated the late director. "No way, I'm calling him that."

"You're actually right," Abby replied, smiling. "New York, huh? Spending the weekend together? Sounds awesome."

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "I hope so."

"Of course it's going to be awesome," Abby approached him and gave him a hug before she continued, speaking softly into his left ear. "I'm really glad you two made up. Work without you – the real you – would have been dreadful, I'm telling you."

"Thanks, Abs," Tony replied equally quiet before he retreated and made his way out of the lab, flashing her a big smile. "Oh and yeah, why don't you ask the autopsy gremlin? I'm sure Palmer would be thrilled to impress his embalmer with his bowling skills."

-x-

Gibbs unlocked his front door and stepped into his house. He had just visited his girls, trying to make up for the to-be-missed visit on Sunday. Just like always the visit had soothed him, had given him some perspective. Not that he had really needed one because slowly the thing between Tony and him seemed to go back to normal. Or as normal as things could get with Tony around. Smiling slightly, Gibbs threw his keys onto the table by the door. They had been pretty busy that week, giving them next to no time to progress anything but he was fine with that. He knew that letting him sleep next to him had cost Tony quite some courage but ever since that first night at Tony's apartment things had gone rather smoothly. They, or rather the younger man, had planned the trip to New York, choosing the hotel, flight and some other stuff that he refused to tell him. Gibbs was just glad that they had closed their latest case late on Thursday night, so that they were able to actually go away for the weekend.

"Tony?" he cried out now, realizing that the younger man's bag was lying on the couch but the guy was nowhere to be seen.

He listened closely but was only able to hear music playing somewhere upstairs. He made his way up the stairs, realizing that the music came from his bedroom. He quietly stepped into the room and tried hard to suppress his laughter as he saw Tony alternately skipping around the room and rummage through Jethro's wardrobe, dancing and singing to the music that was blaring out of his phone, iPad, pod? Whatever it was called.

"_New York, New York, I want to wake up in that city that never sleeps and find I'm the king of the hill, top of the list…"_

At that exact moment, Tony turned around and stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of Jet leaning against the doorframe, smirking at him.

"Oh, hi," he said now, blushing slightly.

"Oh, hi," Jet echoed. "You picked the lock?"

"Yeah," Tony shrugged, still holding one of Jethro's dress shirts in his hand. "Didn't think you'd have your door locked but I didn't want to wait outside either. Sorry."

"No problem."

He stepped forward towards the younger man and placed a quick peck on his lips before he sat down on the bed, raising an eyebrow because of the chaos that Tony had created. Clothes were scattered everywhere around the room, an open suitcase was lying on the floor and his wardrobe hadn't been that unorganized since he had been sixteen.

"But what the hell do you think you're doing here?" he asked, trying to sound gruff but was failing somewhat as that smirk on his face still wouldn't vanish.

"Pack your stuff," Tony replied, shrugging. "You can't always wear your Sears-stuff, I'm telling you. I thought you'd have something nicer, too. But hey, I was wrong. Except for this," he held up the jeans and that black button down shirt that Jet had been wearing on their first date, "you got nothing. How is that even possible?"

"My clothes are fine, Tony," Jet sighed as he had hoped that particular topic wouldn't come up till later.

"No, they're so not. I really have to take you shopping some time. Maybe even this weekend?"

"Anything I can do to prevent that?"

"Sure there is but I'm going to bug you about it all weekend long, so your choice really."

Shaking his head, Jet got hold of Tony's hand and pulled him towards him. The younger man flopped down on the bed next to him, still grinning at him.

"So what it's going to be, 24/7 of DiNozzo-annoyance or one hour of shopping for decent jeans?"

"One hour, tops. And if I say no to something I mean it, got that?"

"Yes, Boss," Tony grinned and leaned into him a bit, pressing his lips against his own.

-x-

Slightly grinning, Tony stood in a shop on Saturday morning. He still couldn't believe that Jet had actually agreed to come shopping with him. They had arrived in New York and the hotel late the night before and they hadn't done anything really but brush their teeth and then all but fall into bed. By now, Tony was used to fall asleep in the older man's arms again and he had to admit that he felt kind of foolish to have it denied the man for so long. But he just had to make sure that this wasn't about having someone next to him just for the sake of it, that this wasn't just about the sex or anything. He really had wanted to make sure that this was the right thing to do for him. But ever since Jet's promise to visit Tony's mother's grave with him, Tony had realized that this was real, that this was something he needed – and wanted – to do.

"No way in hell," Jet's exasperated voice roused him from his musings.

"Come out, so I can tell you whether or not there's a way."

Stepping out the changing room, Jet emerged wearing a pair of black jeans that didn't fit him at all and a dark blue button down shirt. Tony gave him his most sincere smile but the older man wasn't fooled as he scoffed at him.

"Okay," Tony finally said, holding up his hands in surrender. "The jeans really have to go. But the shirt does look cool, honestly." He grabbed a pair of blue jeans that he had spotted earlier and threw them at the older man. "Try these."

"Those are the last ones or I swear to god, I…"

"Last ones, I promise."

Jet disappeared again and Tony was left to wait. He briefly wondered what it must look like, two men going shopping together like that but then he realized – and that thought made him actually chuckle – that this was exactly what it looked like after all…

Jet came into his field of vision again, his expression rather blank but Tony could almost feel the annoyance that was all but radiating from him. As Tony took in his appearance, a smile spread on his face because those jeans were hugging the man at all the right places.

"Perfect," he said, giving Jet his best smile, causing the other man to finally look at himself in the mirror.

"If you'd only," Tony continued as he approached the man, pulling at the hem of his shirt so that it wasn't tucked into the jeans anymore and breathed in the scent of Jet's aftershave in the course. "Yeah, just like that."

Furrowing a brow, Jet looked into the mirror again as if to decide whether or not Tony had gone insane but then, as he had looked at him thoroughly, he shrugged.

"That's okay, I guess."

"Okay, he says. That's more than okay. It's sexy," Tony said, leaning into him a bit, whispering into his ear. "Going to wear that to dinner tonight?"

"Dinner? Where are we going?"

"Not saying. It's a surprise."

"Payback, huh?" As Gibbs saw Tony nod, he continued. "Fine, I'll buy that stuff but just to shut you up."

"Works for me," Tony smirked, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

-x-

"Hey," Jet softly spoke into Tony's ear a few hours later, standing in front of a beautiful graveyard. "We don't have to go in there."

Tony had been fidgeting the whole cab ride, being unnaturally quiet and now they had been standing there for at least fifteen minutes without as much as moving an inch. Jet had kept quiet the whole time, knowing all too well what it felt like being unable to make up his mind about visiting beloved ones like this. It had taken him almost fifteen years to finally be able to visit his girls regularly and he could only imagine how it must feel like for Tony who had never been there, had never once seen his mother's grave.

"Yeah, I have to," Tony quietly replied but yet made no move to do so.

"Okay," the older man answered and then, not caring about what anyone would think of them, he took Tony's hand, squeezing it softly.

As if he was waiting for that cue, Tony looked at him for a moment before he finally plucked up the courage and made his way into the graveyard, his hand still tightly clasping Jet's. They wandered in between the crosses for a while and Jet only realized now that Tony had probably no idea where his mom's grave was exactly.

"Shouldn't we ask someone where to go?"

Tony stopped for a moment, furrowing his brow before he shook his head. "We're going to find it."

Jet nodded again and they continued their journey. He looked around, reading the names, stopped one time as he read the name Gibbs but unable to make a connection to an Elizabeth in his family, he stuck to Tony's side, from time to time squeezing the younger man's hand to reassure him.

"There it is," Tony said suddenly, after about twenty minutes of wandering around aimlessly, pointing at a cross.

_Gillian Paddington – DiNozzo_

_Beloved wife and mother_

-x-

Tony sighed and finally let go of Jet's hand as he dropped down to one knee and laid a white orchid down onto the ground. He knew that his mother had loved those flowers as his father had always given her one whenever he had to leave for a couple of days, promising her that he would be home before it would have withered.

He stared at the name for a while, unable to form a coherent thought. He had been thinking that this visit would resolve everything but now that he was here, he realized that it had been wishful thinking. He felt something tug at his insides as he thought about the morning when he had walked into the living-room of their house in the Hamptons, seeing her laying there on the couch, blood everywhere, all life gone from her. He had never told anyone about that, had chosen to shut it out of his mind from then till eternity and except for occasional nightmares, it had worked fairly well. But as he was kneeling there, staring at the cross, he felt the same devastation, the same emptiness, the same lost feeling that he felt when he had been eight years old. He had hoped that finally visiting her grave would give him some kind of closure, would make him less desperate, even less angry. But he had to realize that it hadn't helped at all.

He looked up at Jet now, who was standing right next to him, his hand resting on his shoulder, calmly looking at him and giving him an understanding smile.

"'twas a bad idea to come here," he finally pressed out and tried to get up but Jet wouldn't let him, increasing the pressure on his shoulder before he knelt down beside him.

"It's never a bad idea to visit people you love, Tony," he said now, looking into his eyes.

"But I shouldn't have. It's…"

"I know, believe me, I know. But it gets easier, I promise. It wasn't your fault… like she said, she loved you."

Tony stared at him for a moment, wondering if and how he knew what was going on inside of him, knew about the battle that was raging there. He looked at him, locking his green eyes into Jet's blue ones and saw the understanding there. They stayed like that for a long time, staring at each other before Tony finally shook his head and averted his glance to look at the grave again. He knew that Gibbs was right, she had loved him, had cared about him but still he had given up on him just like that.

Sighing and shaking his head again, he stood up, pulling Jet up with him and leaned into him, placing a soft kiss on his lips as if it would make him forget everything else.

"You want to talk?" Jet finally offered, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"I don't know. Sometime maybe, not now."

"Whenever you're ready."

"Thanks."

-x-

Taking his hand again, Jet guided him out the graveyard, occasionally glancing at him to make sure that the younger man hadn't become paler than he already was. Jet felt sorry for him, could see the hurt inside of him more than ever before but he knew that Tony didn't want to talk about it and Jethro wouldn't press, he would come to him when the time was right for him.

Halfway through the cemetery, Tony suddenly froze at his side and Jethro turned to look what was holding him up. Finally accomplished getting paler, Tony's gaze was fixed on something in the distance and Jethro reluctantly followed the stare now, knowing that it couldn't be anything good. A man came into his field of vision and his heart sank the tiniest of fractions as he recognized him. It was DiNozzo Sr., standing a few feet away from them, his gaze fixed on Jet and Tony's still connected hands. For a moment, Jethro glanced sideways at Tony who had gone, if possible, even paler now. He squeezed his hand again, far from letting go of him, trying to swallow the anger that was slowly but steady rising inside of him. The bruises on the boy's neck and arm in the video flashed before his inner eye and Jethro blinked again, trying to remain calm, knowing that this was hardly the time or the place to confront Senior. Tony stiffened next to him as his father approached them now, his face somewhat distorted, his eyes never leaving their hands.

"Junior," he finally greeted them. "Agent Gibbs."

"Mr. DiNozzo," Jethro pressed out, shaking his hand reluctantly.

"Fancy meeting you here, Junior," the older DiNozzo said now, paying Jet no attention whatsoever.

"Yeah," Tony just said.

"Should have told me you're visiting. I would have made time for you, maybe a nice dinner but I can see, you're busy with your _boyfriend _anyway," he snarled.

"I didn't know you were in New York, Father," Tony finally seemed to have gotten back to his senses. "But you could still join us for dinner if you like."

The hair on Jet's neck stood up at the mere thought about having to eat dinner with Senior but he knew that he and Tony had just started to work on their father and son relationship and Jethro wouldn't be the reason to break it up again just because he was angry at the older man. He glanced at Tony and realized that he had tensed up even more now and Jet knew immediately why as he turned to look at Senior, who was sporting an expression of utter disgust.

"I think I'll pass on that one, Junior. Don't need people to tell me my son's a fag."

"You…" Jet pressed out, desperately trying to keep himself from shouting as they were still in the graveyard after all. "Don't you…"

He felt pure rage creeping up his spine now and it took all his willpower to just stand there and not beat the crap out of the guy. Who did he think he was, anyway? Beating up his own kid, ignoring him all his life and when they had finally made a step towards an actual working relationship, he was offended by his son for being… for being…

He felt Tony increasing the pressure on his hand now and Jet forcefully relaxed his other hand that had balled into a fist.

"Your decision," Tony finally said now, his voice composed but Jet was sure that he was fighting an inner battle just like himself. "We're going."

And with that, he all but dragged him past DiNozzo Sr. and out of there, not once looking back and Jethro wasn't even sure whether he had actually taken a breath. Only as they had already walked four blocks, did he slow down and finally came to a stop, leaning against a wall.

"You okay?" he asked then, closely looking at Jet.

"You're asking me if I'm okay? It doesn't matter… are you okay?"

"Yeah," Tony answered, thoughtfully furrowing a brow. "It's just like every time… we'd get closer and then he just decides to be the same old douche he's always been. I thought this time it was different, thought that this time he was actually trying but apparently I've been wrong. But I guess it's nothing new."

"I'm sorry," he replied and leaned against the wall himself, right next to Tony. "If I can do anything…"

"It doesn't make a difference and frankly, I don't care anymore. He can call me whatever he wants, I don't freaking care."

"Tony," Jet started, taking his hand again. "If you want me to step down to fix this thing with your dad, I'd understand."

He flinched at his own words but he knew that he'd do it without a second thought. All he wanted was for Tony to be happy. The younger man had tensed up again and turned to look at him, his eyes slightly brighter than usual.

"Like hell you will. There's no way, Jet, no way. I'd always pick you over my damn father. You couldn't screw up bad enough for me to favor the old man. Never. You got that?"

"Okay," Jethro replied, unable to hold back the smile now.

They stood there for a few moments, just basically staring into space, each one of them hanging in their own thoughts. It was only when Tony cleared his throat that Gibbs snapped out of his headspace.

"This was so not like I planned our trip," Tony said now, a sad smile on his lips.

"It can only get better, right?"

"You're right about that, Jet. Let's make the best out of that, huh?"

Jet nodded and placed a short and yet lingering kiss on Tony's lips, took his hand once again and they started to make their way back to the hotel.

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><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, please! :)_


	31. Just like Tom and Meg

_A/N: Huge thanks again for your awesome reviews :)_

_Sooner than I thought... here's another chapter..._

_Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS, Sleepless in Seattle, etc. pp._

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-One: Just like Tom and Meg<strong>

"Everything okay?" Jet asked into the silence that had been all but crushing them for the last hour or so.

Tony looked up from the water he had been drinking and put it back onto the table. They had been sitting at a table of the _Bryant Park Grill_ for the last half of an hour and had barely talked except for placing their orders. Tony hadn't really minded though, as he was still hanging in thoughts, not even sure what to think of first. The fact that the memories of his mother had made him sick to his stomach, the fact that his father hadn't changed one bit or the fact that Jet was willing to let him go just like that. Coming here had been a really bad idea, hadn't it?

He finally shook his head, "I don't think so."

He heard Jet sigh and finally looked at him as he felt a hand suddenly touch his left thigh.

"Talk to me?" Jet prodded now, tilting his head ever so slightly as if he would be able to look right through him like that.

"You'd give up on me just like that?" he finally blurted out his immediate concern.

"What? No."

"Then what…?" Tony trailed off as the pressure on his thigh was increasing.

Furrowing a brow, Jet rubbed his free hand over his face before he looked at him again, his expression as serious as it could get.

"I didn't think you'd take it like this. Listen, I told you this before but I won't ever give up on you, okay? I just know what it feels like having difficulties with one's father. But I also know what it feels like when you're getting back on track. I admit that my relationship with Jackson is far from 'good' but we're slowly getting there, I actually enjoy seeing him from time to time. So I thought that if I was the reason that your father acted the way he did, I'd be willing to step down. It's not what I want, god, no, but I just want you to be happy, Tony."

Tony blinked once, twice before he placed his hand over Jet's and looked him in the eyes again. He hadn't looked at it that way and he felt strangely fuzzy inside at the older man's declaration. He tried to give him a smile.

"Thanks," he finally replied. "But don't ever think like that. I'm done with my father. Once and for all and I mean that, too. Life's too short to keep getting insulted by him."

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

Jet gave him a smile, tilted his head and started trailing patterns on the fabric of Tony's jeans with his thumb. Tony stared right back at him, his eyes set on the other man's and let out a content sigh. Jet had just opened his mouth to say something as the waitress interrupted them, carrying two delicious-looking dishes. She placed the plates in front of them and with a smile and a quick look at their joined hands, vanished again.

"Bon appétit," they both said in unison and grinned at each other before they started to dig in, slightly startling Tony as he hadn't even realized that he had been hungry in the first place.

-x-

Half an hour later, Jet was as full as he had rarely ever felt before. The food had been delicious as Tony really had chosen a great restaurant. Trust him to know exactly what he wanted. They had been holding hands under the table ever since they had finished eating and Jet was slowly getting comfortable again. He hadn't expected Tony to freak over his statement from before but was relieved that he now believed him and seemed to understand his motives. He wouldn't let go of him and he hoped that someday, Tony would get that, too.

"What are you thinking about?" Tony inquired suddenly.

"Nothing," Jet shrugged, looking at him again. "This is just nice."

"It is. Thanks for coming with me."

"No need to thank me for anything. That's what I'm here for."

"Okay," Tony smiled softly and Jet suddenly felt the urge to lean into the guy and kiss him senseless but he knew that this was hardly appropriate given the place.

"But I really dig your new style there, Jet. You look dashing. "

"Dashing? What happened to 'sexy'?" Jet joked and to his surprise, Tony's cheeks suddenly flushed to crimson, causing Jethro to chuckle ever so slightly.

"You always are. Clothes have nothing to do with that," he mumbled, averting his eyes from him, instead finding interest in the empty plate in front of him.

"Are you actually blushing, Anthony DiNozzo? I never thought I'd see the day."

"Oh, shut up," Tony looked up, giving him a broad grin. "I'm not blushing, it's just really hot in here."

"Sure. Well, maybe we should get out of here, then. Take a walk back to the hotel?" he suggested, smirking.

"Yeah," Tony replied, finally meeting his gaze. "Maybe we should."

"Okay, then," Jet answered and waved a hand, motioning to the waitress that they'd like to pay.

A couple of minutes later, they were outside again, clasping each other's hands tightly. For a fleeting moment, Jet imagined them doing the same thing back home and chuckled at the thought.

"What's so funny?"

"Just thought about holding hands at NCIS."

Tony grinned at him, then let go of his hand, instead pulling his arm around Jet's waist. "I'm sure Vance would get a heart attack. Would be nice, though. I mean I don't care what people think about me. Everyone who is important to me already knows. But I see that we might get into trouble."

"Might, yeah," Jet replied, reached up a bit and placed a kiss on the younger man's cheek.

To his surprise, Tony turned his face towards him and kissed him back, right on the lips. Gibbs stared at him for a moment and saw something shift in Tony's eyes all of a sudden as he leaned down the tiniest of bits and continued to kiss him. It wasn't like the slow kisses they had shared ever since they had gotten back together because this one was fierce, leaving Jet breathless for a moment. He staggered backwards, his mind buzzing all of a sudden. He knew that they still needed to talk and he knew that Tony had wanted some time to find his trust in him again and yet, all of a sudden, he could only think about getting out of that damn street and into their hotel room. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to focus on the waiting-part and took a deep breath.

When he finally opened his eyes again, Tony was still staring at him with a questioning look. He slightly tilted his head again and then suddenly pressed the older man back against the nearest wall in a small and deserted alleyway. Looking up at him, Gibbs finally found his words again.

"Tony? What - ?"

But he never got the chance to finish his sentence as Tony was curling his hands in his hair and crushed their mouths together again. Jet groaned deep in his chest, pressing himself against Tony. To his utter relief, Tony didn't even as much as flinch, instead he returned the favor with enthusiasm. The older man rocked his hips against Tony's as he sucked on his tongue, prompting a strangely strangled whimper. Their tongues twisted together for a few moments before Jet, needing to breathe almost frantically, pulled himself away from Tony's lips. Taking the opportunity, the younger man buried his face in the crook of his neck, pressing feverish kisses to the smooth flesh, nipping and sucking a little at the jumping pulse point underneath his lips. Jethro gasped again, digging his fingers into Tony's hips and rutting against him, his head falling against the hard wall behind him. Just as Jet was about to steal the other man's lips again, he heard someone call out.

"Get a room, fags."

Jet pushed Tony away from him ever so slightly, surprised that Tony, despite the earlier incident with his father started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Get yourself a girlfriend," he shouted back, causing two girls who were just walking by to giggle.

The man who had shouted at them earlier stopped dead in his tracks, obviously sizing them up before he apparently realized that he would lose if it came to a fight. He shrugged, mumbled something under his breath and then turned to walk away. Tony chuckled and took Jet's hand, pulling him with him.

"We should probably do just that – go to our room, right?"

"Yeah," Jet replied distractedly, still somewhat stunned by the earlier exchange. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Tony laughed now. "I mean… I think we'll have to get used to that, right? I never actually considered myself gay because, really, before you, I wouldn't even have thought about being with a man but, you know, people don't know that, so we just might as well deal with it, right?"

"Not that there's another chance," Jet answered slowly, still not quite able to suppress the tingly feeling inside of him. "So, hotel?"

"Hell, yeah."

"And you're sure it's the right thing for you? Here and now?"

Tony stopped walking for a moment to look at him, smiling widely. "Yeah, I'm sure. I know I said I wanted to take it slow and I did do just that. But I also know that you're having my back now, that you're not going anywhere. Hell, the fact that you'd be willing to step down just so I can fix things with my father tells me everything I ever needed to know."

"Okay," Jet replied, suddenly feeling all fuzzy inside and the heat between them from before had nothing to do with it. "If you're sure."

"I am. One hundred percent."

"Okay, then," he said, kissing him again. "Let's go."

-x-

Tony sighed as he had finally closed the door to their room behind them. How in the world could that walk have taken that long?  
>Apparently mistaking the meaning of the sigh, Jet looked at him questioningly again.<p>

"And you're…"

But Tony wouldn't let him ask him again, he had made up his mind. He wanted this, every damn fiber of his being wanted this, craved it actually. He placed a hand over Jet's mouth now, making sure that he didn't continue to talk because, really, talking was the last thing on his mind right now. He pulled his hand away to kiss him again and their lips met almost desperately, both men breathing shakily into each other's mouths. Jet was pressing Tony against the door now and Tony, unable to move, did the only thing that he could do – kiss the guy senseless. All of a sudden, however, the older man stopped pressing him against the door, only to pull him towards the bed that was standing against the far wall of the room. The continued kissing even as they almost stumbled over each other's feet a couple of times. Finally, the back of Jet's knees hit the edge of the bed and he sank down onto it, breaking their kiss for the moment. Tony looked down on him, giving him a wicked, breathless smile before he shrugged off his jacket and was about to fumble with the buttons of his shirt as Jet stopped him.

"My turn," he said slightly out of breath.

He unbuttoned every single one of them almost painstakingly slow before he reached up to push the shirt off his shoulders and let his fingers trail down Tony's arms. Shivering slightly at the touch, the younger man leaned down and kissed him again but this time slowly and softly and Tony wasn't quite able to decide whether this was better than those hot kisses before.

After making quick work of getting rid of Jet's new shirt, Tony placed soft kisses across his jaw, down his neck to his defined collarbone, where he took his time sucking gently at the skin. Jet groaned again, his had falling back, his hands gripping Tony's arms. Taking the moment of momentary distraction on Jet's side, Tony knelt down on the floor, meanwhile kissing his way down the skin on Jet's chest and stomach. By the time he reached the belly button, he was able to feel him shiver ever so slightly under his touch and he looked up, his eyes meeting the blue ones and he gave him a smile which seemed to relax the guy a bit. Breaking the eye contact again, he flicked his tongue into Jet's belly button and the man groaned loudly, winding his fingers into Tony's hair.

"Jesus, Tony."

After another sharp tug on his hair, he finally stopped but only to make his way further down. As he pressed his lips against Jet's stomach, right above the waistband of his jeans, the older man groaned and quivered again.

Stopping for a moment, Tony looked up again, unsure of how to continue. But as he looked into the man's eyes again, his pupils dark and dilated, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, even though he had never done it before.

"Jet… can I?"

"You're asking?" Gibbs all but groaned while nodding his head furiously.

Tony grinned, reached up to kiss him again before he released him and turned his attention to undoing the button of the jeans. Jet let out a sharp breath as he pulled down the zip. Impatiently, he lifted himself up on his hands so that Tony was able to get rid of the jeans and as Tony was just as impatient as Jet, he got rid of the black boxer shorts, too.

Tony stared at the hard cock right in front of him for a moment before he blinked once and leaned a bit forward, his tongue flicking across the tip and he felt Jet thrusting his hips a bit forwards. Bracing his arm across the top of Jet's thigh, Tony held him place before he leaned in once again and sank his mouth onto the shaft, taking him in as far as he could. Taking Jet's strangled groan as encouragement, Tony moved back and sucked hard, eliciting another moan. Then, Tony began to move his head back and forth and he was able to hear Jet gasping for breath, pulling on Tony's hair again. He pressed his tongue up the vein, then swirled it around the head again. Jet started to thrust forward and Tony let him this time as he heard the moans getting louder and louder. He knew that the man must be close because his thrusts had become erratic now, the grip on his hair even stronger.

"Tony –"

Sucking hard again, Tony took in all of him and then felt Jet come and swallowed it all. Licking his lips, catching the tiny bit of cum that had escaped the corners of his mouth, he looked up again, only to stare into Jet's smiling face. He pulled him up now, kissing him, tasting himself in Tony's mouth.

"Was that alright?" Tony asked breathlessly when he had laid down on the bed right next to him.

"Yeah, more than alright."

Tony grinned feeling oddly relieved as he leaned in to kiss him again and felt his hardness press into the older man's thigh. He pulled Jet closer again and he obliged without complaint and unceremoniously shoved his hand down into Tony's by now incredibly tight jeans. Making quick work of undressing him to his boxer shorts, Jet kissed him again and Tony found it hard to concentrate on kissing him back as Jet reached down to palm him through his underwear. He let out something that sounded suspiciously like a whine but he was far beyond caring now.

"Jet…"

He pulled away and Jet apparently got the message as he pulled off his boxers. Feeling Jet's hand wrap around his cock, Tony couldn't help but moan again, causing Jet to look up at him with a grin. He moved his hand up and down again, his eyes never leaving Tony's and Tony felt himself getting closer to the edge with every stroke. Jet moved his hand faster now, squeezing his hand tighter at the base of his cock, rubbing his thumb over the tip. He leaned down and licked feverishly behind Tony's ear, causing him to moan again.

"Come for me."

And that was apparently all that Tony had ever needed to hear because only moments later, he felt himself tense before his cum spilled across Jet's hand and his stomach.

"That was…" Tony trailed off as he had finally caught his breath, was finally able to think straight again, one arm draped across Jet's stomach.

"Yeah," Jet just replied. "It was."

-x-

Gibbs couldn't help but stare at the younger man the next morning. They were standing on top of the Empire State Building. Even though, Tony had practically grown up in New York, he claimed that he had only been there once when he had been six years old. Jet suspected that he was lying through his teeth but had agreed to come anyway as he hadn't been up there for quite some time either. Tony was leaning against the railing, looking around at the skyline, his eyes never fixing on anything specific. Jet smiled at him unnoticed but didn't care. He hadn't felt that content in what felt like forever and it wasn't just because of the sex the night before, not that it hadn't been incredible, especially after the time Tony had let him wait. It was more easier the fact that Tony had finally let him in again, had shared his thoughts about his father, hell, had actually put him on a higher level than the older man, had told him that he didn't care about what people were thinking about them. And even though, the expression on Tony's face as he had knelt in front of his mother's grave was still troubling him tremendously, Jet knew the younger man good enough not to start asking questions about her death, about the hard time Tony must have surely had afterwards. He would come to him eventually, Gibbs was sure about that.

He had been so deep in thoughts that he hadn't noticed that Tony had started to stare right back at him, a smile playing on his lips. Jet took his hand and pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on the younger man's temple before he looked at the skyline again.

"See, I told you this was great."

"It kind of is," Jet replied, averting his glance from the buildings around them to look at him.

Tony's eyes were twinkling now before he suddenly let go of his hand and looked around.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Just looking for Jonah Baldwin and his teddy bear."

"For whom?" Jet asked confused as he saw the smirk on Tony's face.

"Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meeting here for the first time… _Sleepless in Seattle_, Jet. Seriously, what am I going to do with you? You never had to watch it with one of your wives?"

"Guess not," Jet replied, groaning slightly, already sure that he would have seen this movie by the end of the week.

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><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Suggestions? Reviews are always awesomeness! :)_


	32. Board Games and Seven Irons

_A/N: As always, thank you so much for reviews, alerts and favorites! :) You guys absolutely make my day!_

_Nothing much to say about this one, hope you like it and leave a review! :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Two: Board Games and Seven Irons<span>**

"Know what I hate about those short flights?" Tony asked, leaning his head back against the headrest and sighed.

"Too short to watch a movie?"

"Yeah, this way it's such a waste of time, just sitting here."

"You know you can talk to people, right?"

Raising an eyebrow, feeling a smirk building on his lips, Tony turned to stare at Jet. "I think the world has just officially come to an end. Did Leroy Jethro Gibbs just actually say that? Mr. One-Word-Answers-Are-The-Best? Are you sure you're feeling alright? Didn't hit your head, did you?"

Jet let out a bark of a laugh before he almost imperceptibly shook his head. "Just saying."

"You really are full of surprises. So, you're saying you're going to talk to me all flight long? Even if I get more annoying than I am right now?"

"I wouldn't push it, Tony."

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Tony gave him a smile before he let his left hand sink onto Jet's thigh. He remained silent for a few moments, just staring at the guy. As bad as the weekend in New York had started, it couldn't have gone any better afterwards, Tony thought. It seemed like they were finally back on track and granted, Tony knew that he had been the one to prolong the process of getting there but he was sure that he had done the right thing. He hadn't entirely trusted the guy before this weekend to be honest but that had changed so quickly that Tony wasn't quite able to process it himself. But he was still strangely touched when he thought about Jet's willingness to put Tony's happiness above his own. And he had also realized that he would only be happy if this thing between Jet and him was actually working. He didn't care what his father was thinking about them, couldn't have cared less, actually. He hadn't needed his father's acceptance since he had been a little over eight years old, so why should he start wanting it over thirty years later? The guy just wasn't important, period.

"Talking about talking," Tony forcefully pulled himself back into the present and into the plane that was just about to lift off.

"Hmm?" Jet asked distractedly as if he had been interrupted doing something really important and didn't want to be disturbed. But hadn't he just looked right back at Tony?

"You want to tell people about us? I mean, I don't have anyone I really want to – or need to – tell. Everyone who is important to me already knows. But I don't know about your people?"

"Two," Jet replied, furrowing a brow.

"Your dad?"

"Yeah."

"That's going to be a problem?" Tony asked, suddenly concerned as he looked at Jet's serious expression.

"I don't have a clue. We were never good at talking about stuff like that. But I don't think Dad's got a problem with… this."

"You being gay, you mean?" Tony smirked, slightly increasing the pressure on Jet's thigh with his hand.

"I'm not gay, Tony," he replied indignantly but still managing to give him a half smile.

"I know. Me neither," Tony smirked. "It's just you."

"Exactly." Another grin. "But you're right. I want him to know. It's just not something you do over the phone."

"Yeah, I got that. But you'll figure something out, you always do."

They remained silent again with Jet clearly thinking about how to best break it to his father and Tony suddenly wondering where the sweater that Jackson had once given him back in Stillwater had gone. He had worn it once or twice right after he had gotten it because really, it was one of the warmest and, well, fluffiest sweaters he had ever owned. Shaking his head, Tony looked at the older man again.

"So who's the second one?"

"Huh?"

"Person you want to tell. You said there were two."

"Oh, yeah. Tobias," he answered, still not looking at him.

"Tobias? As in Fornell?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"But," Tony faltered, trying to process that information.

What had he missed? He had always thought that the two of them couldn't stand each other all that much. Hell, Fornell had been stupid enough to marry one of Jet's exes. Only thinking about the possibility of Jet and Fornell being friends was ridiculous.

"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"

Finally looking at him again, Jet just shook his head. "No. We've been friends forever. I know it doesn't look like it most of the time but we are. Marrying first me and then Tobias was probably the worst thing Diane has ever done because it got us closer."

"Bashing about her?"

"Started out that way, yeah."

"Okay," Tony just said, still not quite able to hide his surprise. "Do you think he's going to stop calling me DiNutso once he knows?"

Letting out a laugh, Jet answered. "Oh, I doubt that. But can't wait to see his face."

Tony leaned back his head and closed his eyes for a moment as he was suddenly aware that he was tired like hell. As nice as the weekend had been, it had also been kind of exhausting. And the prospect that he would only be able to sleep a few hours before starting a new week of work wasn't the best one either…

"Shit," Tony cursed silently, suddenly remembering something.

"What's up?"

"Forgot that tomorrow was the first Monday of the month. Tim, Ziva, Palmer, Abby and I usually get together whenever we don't catch a case. You know, for a night of playing board games. It's my turn to host tomorrow. I totally forgot about it and my apartment is a mess and of course, I won't have any time to clean it up. Will have to cancel that one… man, Abby's going to hate me."

"Why don't you tell them to come over to my place?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously," Jet all but glared at him.

"You… you don't have to," Tony said, still slightly taken aback by the offer.

"I know that, Tony," Jet replied somewhat irritated. "But I don't want you to cancel that. Besides it is kind of my fault that your apartment's a mess. We have spent every night together. Of course, you wouldn't have had the time to clean up."

"But you do realize that it involves people in your house? And that those people will talk – a lot? All at once?"

"Can't possibly be worse than only having you around."

"Thanks a lot," Tony replied, playfully upset. "You sure about that?"

"Yeah but if you ask one more time, I might rethink it."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know how important it is for you to have people around. I don't want you to hang out with me all the time. Don't get me wrong, I like having you around, a lot, but you shouldn't just do that, you know. So have them over, play your board games and have fun. It's really no big deal."

Tony stared at him for a few moments. Really, what was it with surprises today? First the thing with Fornell and now that. Tony felt something tugging softly at his heart before he swallowed, trying to get out of his headspace.

"Does this mean you're going to participate?"

"Don't know. Maybe I'll just work on the boat in the meantime. Wouldn't want to disturb anything there."

"You do realize they're your friends, too, right?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

"I'll think about it."

"Awesome."

-x-

Gibbs heard laughter travelling down into the basement and stopped sanding the boat for a moment, smiling to himself. He had said a short 'Hello' once the others had gotten to his house but had excused him quickly enough. He hadn't really been in the mood to play some insipid board game, so he had decided to retreat to his boat, figuring that he hadn't worked on it for quite some time anyway. He knew that he quite shocked Tony when he had told him to have them come over the day before but he knew that the other man greatly appreciated it. He hadn't said anything but the grateful and strangely touched looks he had given him afterwards were enough for Jethro to know. He had also seen the brief look of disappointment on the younger man's face an hour ago when he had told him that he wouldn't play with them. But he had recovered soon enough, leaving Jet unsure whether the look had even been there in the first place.

But now that he was down there, Gibbs wasn't quite sure what he was doing down here. He was so used to spending his evenings together with Tony that he felt strangely empty inside, despite the fact that the guy was just up the stairs. Even the sanding hadn't done its usual soothing, Gibbs realized with a start. Hell, he didn't even want to work on the boat. Another wave of laughter reached his ears and he sighed, placing the sanding paper back on the work bench and slowly made his way up into the living-room.

Once upstairs, he just stood there, observing the others who were apparently unaware of his being there. They were all sitting on the floor of his living-room in a circle, a board game in front of them. They seemed to be having a good time as they were all laughing at another mixed up saying from Ziva. Jet looked at Tony for a moment. His composure was relaxed, his face all smiles, that twinkle that Jet had grown so fond of lately, back in his eyes. Yeah, he had definitely made the right decision to let them have their fun…

"Sorry, were we too loud?" Tony suddenly asked, turning around as if he had sensed Jet's eyes on him.

"No," Gibbs simply answered.

"Want to join us?" Abby asked, all but squealing at the prospect.

"Sure, why not," Jet just shrugged, sitting down on the floor right next to Tony, briefly touching his thigh in the course.

He felt Tony lean into his touch for a moment and then looked at him, giving him a smile.

"So, what are we playing?"

"It's called _Taboo_. Pretty simple. You have to describe a word to your teammates without using the words you're provided on the card. See?"

Tony held out a card for him and Jet squinted at it but was unable to decipher the writing.

Smirking slightly, Tony continued. "Of course you don't. Your glasses are upstairs in the bedroom, aren't they? I'll get them for you."

"I can get them myself," Gibbs tried to stop him but Tony had already gotten up.

"No problem."

"So, why does Tony know what's in your bedroom?" Abby asked as soon as Tony was out of earshot.

Gibbs turned to stare at her, realizing that McGee was shifting uncomfortably next to her and Palmer had turned slightly pink in the face. Only Ziva was sitting there, smirking just like Abby was.

"Abby," Gibbs replied, trying his best to sound stern, hoping it would shut her up.

Actually, he was almost desperately trying to avoid thinking about what the two of them had been doing there just before the others had shown up because, really, having a raging hard-on just due to the vision of Tony kneeling in front of him, sucking him, wasn't the best way to establish that kind of evening. Wait, had he just actually thought about having this kind of thing here regularly?

"Here you go," Tony said, handing him the glasses and sitting down. "You been talking about me?"

"Of course, we don't have anything to talk about but you," Abby replied, flashing him a big grin.

"Oh, what did you say?" Tony asked, averting his glance from her to look at Jet again.

"Nothing," Jet replied, trying to change the topic as quickly as possible and pointed at the board game. "So, how does this work again?"

-x-

A couple of hours later, the others were finally leaving. Jet wouldn't admit but he had actually had fun tonight. Granted, he wasn't used to that kind of company but it was still nice to see his colleagues out of work. He had even shared a couple of laughs with Palmer. Just as the Ducky's assistant was already halfway out the door, he suddenly reached into the pocket of his coat.

"I almost forgot. God, Breena would have killed me. These are for you," he said, handing each one of them an engraved envelope.

"Oooh," Abby squealed. "Are these your wedding invitations?" As she saw Palmer nod, she continued. "Haven't been to a wedding in forever. I'm so looking forward to that."

"Thanks Abby," Jimmy replied, smiling, before he waved at them and together with Ziva and McGee left the house.

Abby gave Tony a tight hug and whispered something into his ear that Jet didn't catch but caused Tony to blush furiously. Abby didn't seem to notice though as she turned around and slung her arms around Gibbs.

"Thanks for letting us get together here," she whispered into his ear. "I'm so happy you're happy."

With that, she let go of him and skipped towards her car.

"Yeah, she's right," Tony said, while he closed and locked the front door. "Thanks for letting us."

"My pleasure," Jet replied. "Was actually fun."

"Glad you feel that way. And you know what else is fun?" Tony asked now, waggling his eyebrow suggestively.

"No," Jet replied, dragging out the word while he placed his hands on Tony's hips, drawing him closer so that their chests were touching.

"You, me, bedroom. We have to keep up with Abby's fantasies, right?"

"Hmm?" Jet only pressed out, already kissing his way down Tony's neck, making him shiver ever so slightly under his touch.

"Yeah, she just said to me that you blushed when she asked you why I knew what was in your bedroom," Tony said, groaning as Jet bit down on his tender flesh.

"I didn't blush," Gibbs replied, smiling.

"Sure, you didn't. Come on let's get upstairs, so I can _really_ make you blush."

-x-

Tony jerked awake the next morning due to the door bell ringing. Briefly squinting at the clock, he wondered who in the world would show up at Gibbs' house at 0630. He turned around and was surprised that Jet had apparently slept through the door bell. Well, maybe, he had worn him out yesterday night after all. Tony grinned at the thought before he silently got out the bed and quickly made his way down the stairs.

Figuring it would be the mailman, he opened the door, rubbing his eyes, still halfway asleep.

"Since when do you lock your damn door, Jethro? That's like…"

Tony felt his eyes widen as he realized that no other that Fornell was standing in front of him, trailing off now as he apparently realized that it wasn't Gibbs he was talking to. Instead, he sized Tony up now and the younger man realized with a start that he was only wearing his boxer shorts.

"What the…," Fornell finally pressed out, confusion clearly perceivable in his voice just as Tony was able to hear faint footsteps from upstairs and a rather sleepy voice traveled down the stairs.

"Where did you go, Tony? It's not even seven."

"Uh, Boss," Tony all but shouted back, trying desperately to keep the last of his dignity.

"You hit your head again, Tony? Since when are you calling me Boss here?"

"Uh nah," Tony replied, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "I just… I don't think you need to worry about telling Agent Fornell about us."

He cast a quick glance at the FBI agent, who was still standing there, alternately looking from Tony's half-naked body to the stairs where Jet would soon appear for sure, his mouth slightly hanging open.

"Why?" Jet sounded confused now.

"Because…" Tony continued, only just holding back a laugh now as he was still looking at Fornell who had become even paler now.

"Jethro," Fornell finally seemed to have found his voice again and stepped into the house. "What the hell is DiNutso doing in your house at this time of the day and especially only in his boxers?"

Finally, Jet came into their field of vision, fortunately wearing sweats and an old t-shirt. He was actually smirking as he looked from Tony, who hadn't been able to hold back his laughter anymore, to Fornell, who was still looking rather confused.

"What do you think?" Jet finally replied.

"Really, Jethro? No redhead interested in you anymore?"

"I wouldn't know. What are you doing here anyway?"

Fornell looked at him incredulously before he subtly shook his head, apparently realizing that this was all he would get out of the guy for the moment.

"You know what date it is, right?"

Jet stared at him for a moment before he apparently realized something. "Damn, I totally forgot. I'm just going to change. Be right down."

With that he was gone again, leaving Tony and Fornell standing there in the living-room, looking rather uncomfortably at each other.

"So, where are you going?" Tony finally asked just to have something to say.

"We always grab breakfast and a drink after work, if we both have time on June 3rd."

"Why June 3rd?"

"It's the day when we got married to Diane."

"Both of you?" Tony chuckled. "Who marries two guys on the same date? Should have given you a clue, Fornell."

"Should have, yeah," the older man replied and for the first time that morning a smirk was visible on his face.

"Okay, let's go."

Jet was suddenly standing next to them and Fornell turned to leave, nodding curtly at Tony.

"DiNutso."

"Say hi to Agent Slacks for me, will you?" Tony smirked.

"Sorry about that," Jet quietly told him once Fornell was out of earshot.

"No problem. You go have fun bashing your ex-wife. I'll see you at work."

"See you later," Jet replied, placing a lingering kiss on his lips, only backing away as they heard Fornell clearing his throat loudly somewhere behind them.

-x-

"Really, DiNutso?" Tobias asked as they were sitting at a table, drinking their coffee.

"His name is DiNozzo… Tony. But yeah," Gibbs replied, smirking ever so slightly at the still pale face in front of him.

"I don't get it. I thought you were into women, not dudes and especially not that obnoxious…"

"Listen," Jet cut him off, willing to let his annoyance slide for the moment. "I'm not into men all of a sudden. This thing with Tony… just happened."

"And this is actually working?" Fornell said now, apparently sensing that Jet was serious about that.

"We hit a rough patch a few weeks ago but yeah, this is really working."

"Rough patch? You freaked out, didn't you? But DiNu… I mean Tony wouldn't let you off the hook that easily, huh?"

Jet felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and quickly looked down at the coffee in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he wanted to tell the guy. But apparently, just like Ducky and Tony, the guy was able to look through him anyway. Sighing and sipping from his coffee, Jet decided to be honest, it wasn't like he had many friends to share this with anyway, right?

"Yeah," he finally replied. "He was pretty mad and had all the right in the world to be. But he was willing to fix it."

That smile that had been threatening to reveal itself before finally won its fight.

"Wow," Tobias just said, shaking his head in disbelief. "The guy must really like you for putting up with your crap."

"Apparently, yeah."

Jet tried to hide another smile by sipping from his coffee again but Fornell wasn't fooled as he suddenly grinned at him.

"That bad, huh?"

"No, that good."

"You never cease to surprise me, Jethro," Tobias said now, subtly shaking his head. "But okay, I so didn't want to talk about your sex life when I came to pick you up."

"Right," Jethro smirked just as the waitress placed their plates on the table. "Was driving by a golf course the other day and I'm telling you, my head still hurts from the contact with the seven iron."

"That's the spirit," Tobias answered, smirking.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be sweet xD_


	33. Stillwater Secrets

_A/N: Just like always, thank you for your interest in this story and your reviews! :) :) :)_

_Still nothing much to say about this one... hope you like it.  
><em>

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Three: Stillwater Secrets<span>**

Three weeks and four exhausting cases later, Tony couldn't help but realize that despite their commanding job and the rare time that they had spent together in private, things were going as good as they could possibly go. He had often thought about when he had last been that content, that happy but he was unable to come up with anything. Maybe this was exactly what he had been missing all those years, someone to come home to, someone who knew exactly when something was bugging him, someone who could just with one single look make him feel better. Sometimes he wondered if it would be possible to spend the rest of his life like that. He knew that neither he, nor Jet had the best of track records when it came to relationships but somehow they had managed to settle in a comforting routine.

"Morning," Tony said as he entered Jet's kitchen on a sunny Thursday morning, still slightly groggy as they had only closed their most recent case at two o'clock in the morning.

Jet however seemed to be wide awake as always on such a ridiculous early time in the morning, already a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Morning. Coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks," Tony answered, taking the cup from Jet and placing a quick kiss on his cheek before he sat down at the kitchen table.

As he was already reaching out for the sports section of the newspaper, something shiny that was lying on the table caught his eye.

"What is this?" Tony asked, picking up a silver key.

"That's a key, DiNozzo. You know those little things that open front doors?"

"Haha," Tony said sarcastically and looked up at Jet who was standing there leaning against the kitchen counter, giving him one of those half smiles. "Wait, is this the key to _your _front door?"

Jet just nodded, his features somehow tense.

"You know what's funny?" Tony replied, fumbling with his own keys until he found the one he was looking for and replaced it with the new one. "Know what this is?"

Jet shook his head, cocking his head ever so slightly.

"I had it made yesterday. This is the key to _my _front door. I didn't want you to keep on picking my lock day after day after day."

That half smile from before had grown to a full one as Jet stepped forwards and took Tony's key.

"Glad we're thinking the same thing for once," he smirked.

"We're thinking the same thing all the time," Tony joked. "Just last night when you did that thing in the bedroom."

"Shut up," Jet just said and as if stress the point, leaned down and kissed him hard, leaving Tony breathless for a moment or two.

"Shutting up, Boss," Tony smirked as Jet had pulled away again, earning himself one of the rare head slaps these days.

They drank their coffee in companiable silence for a few minutes before Jethro cleared his throat, causing Tony to look at him again.

"What's up?"

"My dad called this morning. Wanted me to come home for the weekend to help him with stuff in the shop. Claims he's getting too old for it."

"Everything alright with him?" Tony asked concerned.

"Yeah, he's just looking for an excuse to harass me. Want to go there anyhow."

"Okay," Tony slowly answered, trying to hide the disappointment as he had looked forward to a quiet weekend alone with Jet, far away from work, far away from any worries.

"Care to join me?"

"You serious?" Tony asked, feeling a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah, if you want we could tell him, too."

"If that's what you want," Tony said now, standing up to walk over to where Jet was standing and put his hands on the older man's hips.

"Yeah, I want to."

"Okay, I'd love to come. But can I ask him more questions this time? You know not like when we were last there, when you only allowed me, what? Three?"

Laughing and placing a soft kiss on Tony's lips, Jet nodded. "Not that I can do anything about that anyway, right?"

"Who knows?" Tony just grinned before he got serious again. "But you're sure you want to tell him? I mean I'm still having nightmares about Fornell's pale face in your hallway."

Jet let out a laugh. "Ah, he's gotten over that pretty quickly. I'm sure Dad would rather say that he always knew something was wrong with me."

"Ah, come on. The man loves me, I mean, he gave me that sweater, remember?"

"Right," Jet smirked, drawing Tony closer to him. "Why was that anyway? You never told me."

"Well, I won't tell you now. Secret between Jackson and me."

"Okay, okay. So you're coming?"

"Hell, yeah."

-x-

"So, how do you want to do it?" Tony asked him, staring out the side window of Gibbs' car. "Tell your dad, I mean?"

"Don't know. Haven't really thought about it."

"Come on, we can't just go in there, say 'Hey Dad, we're dating and we're gay. So what can we help you with?' That won't work."

"Yeah," Jet replied, ignored the honk from a car behind them, stepping on the gas even more now and chuckled as Tony's grip on the handle got so tight that his knuckles were turning white. "We'll figure it out."

"If we ever get there in one piece," Tony muttered under his breath but Jet heard it anyway, but didn't reply as the younger man was apparently nervous enough as it was.

Truth of the matter was Jethro was feeling the very same way. It wasn't the fact that he was afraid that his father would not be accepting of them because he knew that Jackson was unprejudiced, was very open-minded. No, it was rather the fact that the two of them had never really discussed stuff like that before. Jackson hadn't even met Shannon officially before they had gotten engaged and he had never even met the couple of wives afterwards. Jet knew though, that he really wanted to tell his dad about this one. He didn't quite know why but he felt it was important for both him and Tony. Even though, they hadn't talked about DiNozzo Sr. since they had gotten back from New York and Tony had seemed fine, Jethro knew that Tony almost fervently hoped that at least Jackson would approve and he hoped that the old man would do them the favor, not just for his sake but for Tony's, too.

As he pulled over in front of his father's store, he was able to see Tony fidget ever so slightly, running his fingers through his hair as if it smooth it down.

"Hey," Jet spoke softly now placing what he hoped was a calming hand on his thigh. "Everything's going to be okay. Just be yourself."

"Yeah, because that always works so well with the men," Tony replied, apparently only half joking.

"Worked with me, right?" Jet said and got out the car and was relieved that Tony did the same next to him.

"Dad?" he called out, when they walked into the store, looking around but the older man was nowhere to be seen.

"Be right there, Leroy," came a voice from the storage room and Jet was able to see Tony smirk ever so slightly at the use of the unloved first name.

They didn't have to wait long before his father appeared, his cheeks slightly flushed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. As his glance fell upon Tony, who was standing a bit behind Jet as if he was afraid to step any closer, a smile appeared on Jackson's face and Jet let out a breath he hadn't even known he had been holding.

"Didn't know you'd bring a visitor," he said now, stepping forward and shook Tony's hand before he half hugged Jet.

"Yeah, kind of a spur of the moment thing. Hope you don't mind, Dad."

"No, not at all. To what do I owe the pleasure, though, Tony?"

Tony, who had visibly relaxed those last moments, tensed up again and shot Jet a clearly uncomfortable glance before he answered. "Uh, thought I could use a break from DC and when Jet… I mean, uh, Leroy, uh… suggested that I could come here with him, I thought why not."

"Okay," Jackson replied, still smiling at him, though Jethro was able to see the slight confusion now due to Tony's incoherent stuttering.

"Leroy? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"I'll, uh, be just right outside. Get our bags, Jet, uh, Boss," Tony quickly said, a look of pure helplessness on his face.

Jet gave him a smile and nodded encouragingly, hoping that it would ease the younger man's tension a bit.

"Leroy, what's going on?" Jackson finally asked when Tony had closed the door behind him. "Why is Tony here stuttering worse than Tim?"

"He's just nervous, that's all."

"Nervous about what? About coming here? The boy's always welcome, always such a kick. He makes me laugh, that one."

"Yeah," Jethro replied, trying to get eye contact with his dad who finally did him the favor, averting his glance from the outside.

"So, what's going on?"

"I need to tell you something, Dad."

"Okay," Jackson slowly answered and sat down behind the counter. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. The opposite actually," Jethro replied with a smile, causing Jackson to furrow a brow before something similar to a smile broke out on his face.

"It has got to be something really good, then, if you're smiling like that, son. Haven't seen you like that in a very long time."

"Yeah, that's because it has been a while since I was…"

"Happy?"

"Yeah."

"Care to tell me why?"

"Hmm," Jet just replied, looking out the window where Tony was leaning against the hood of his car, looking everywhere but into the store.

"What about the kid?" Jackson prodded now, following his son's gaze.

"He's the reason, why."

"I'm afraid, I'm not following."

"Need to spell it out for you, do I?"

Jackson remained silent for a few moments, staring at Tony himself now before he averted his glance again and sized up his son as the realization apparently dawned on him.

"Oh! You and Tony?"

Jethro just nodded, feeling like he was twenty-two again, telling his father that he would get married to Shannon. He had the same tingly sensation in his gut that just wouldn't vanish, even though the confusion on Jackson's face was slowly giving way to something different which Gibbs couldn't quite place as he had never seen it before on his dad's features.

"Finally."

"Finally? What's that supposed to mean?" Jet asked, furrowing a brow at his father's smirk.

"Don't tell me you only realized recently that the boy was always begging for your acceptance, always tried to please you the best way he could?"

Subtly shaking his head, Jet stared at his father, not sure where he was getting at.

"I'm his boss, Dad, of course he's done stuff like that."

"You really didn't see it, did you?" Jackson chuckled now. "The boy practically worshipped the ground you were walking on when you came here for the first time."

"He does not."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, Leroy. Just make sure, you're not shattering his view of the world, huh?"

"I think it's already too late for that," Jet replied, still not quite able to keep up with his dad's thoughts.

"Already showed him how good we Gibbs men are at relationships, didn't you?" Another chuckle. "Speaks for the boy to stick with you."

"Yeah," Jet replied, pinching the bridge of his nose, remembering why he didn't like to talk to his father about stuff like that. "So, you don't have a problem with this?"

"What? That you're seeing Tony? No, no problem at all. I bet he's better than your various ex-wives combined. He must be if he makes you smile like that and actually makes you admit that you're happy."

"Yeah," Jethro replied again, feeling the lump that had appeared in his throat a few minutes earlier vanish.

"Don't look so surprised, Leroy. You know I have some gay friends and couldn't care less about it."

"I know," Jet looked back into his eyes. "It's just... we went to New York a couple of weeks ago and we ran into his father," he said, nodding towards where Tony was standing. "He wasn't quite that accepting. He even refused to eat dinner with us. I mean, I have never liked the guy much even before that and Tony says it's fine with him but I know that he's not okay. He doesn't say it but I know it's really important to him that you… approve or whatever. I know he'd question everything we've accomplished so far. I know I would."

"I get that, son," Jackson replied and reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "The guy means a lot to you, I can see that. And if that idiot father of his doesn't see that, it's his own fault. I take it that the boy needs some happiness, doesn't he? So, don't you dare screw that up."

"You're threatening me, Dad?" Jet replied smirking now, already feeling better because Jackson for once seemed to understand him.

"Hell yeah, I do. I'm on his side, you know."

"Good," Jet smirked again and glanced towards the outside.

"Come on tell the boy to come back in here. He looks like he's about to faint out there."

-x-

"Tony?"

He turned around now and saw Jet standing in the door, giving him a smile though there was some weird expression on his face and Tony's insides clenched the slightest as he realized that he wasn't able to place it. Maybe it had been a stupid idea to come here after all. Suddenly, the prospect of going bowling with Abby and the nuns seemed to be quite appealing.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, come on in. Relax, I told you it wasn't a problem."

"You sure?" Tony replied but nevertheless approached the older man, feeling better instantly as he took his hand, squeezing it softly.

They went back into the store and as Tony saw the smiling face of Jackson, he realized that he looked exactly the same way as his son when he actually smiled and that fact caused Tony to relax even more now. Jackson stood up now and approached the two of them before he looked up at Tony with an expression that was so similar to Jet's just right outside the store that Tony felt something tugging at his insides again. However, he realized that it was not because of his inability to place it but because he finally was able to recognize it. It was care and affection.

"Welcome to the family, Tony," he said now and Tony felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

He was about to reach out his hand to shake the older man's, unable to form a sentence but found himself pulled into an hug that was almost matching Abby's famous bear hugs. He felt himself relax completely now and as Jackson pulled away, that smile still on his face, Tony couldn't help but smile broadly back at him.

"Thanks."

Jackson just nodded and grabbed their bags. "Going to take those upstairs. Be right back."

"You alright?" Jet asked as soon as his father was out of earshot.

"I… I think so," Tony replied, still slightly overwhelmed, still trying to remember when his father had last hugged him like that or ever had hugged him like that.

"What's wrong?" Jet prodded now, reaching for his hand again.

"Nothing," Tony gave him a smile. "Just hadn't expected that. It's nice though. Awesome actually."

"Don't halloo till you're out of the wood. You do realize that he'll lumber you with work all weekend long now, right?"

"I guess I can live with that," Tony laughed, suddenly feeling better than he had in a long time.

-x-

"I still can't believe I'm going to sleep within the sacred walls of Jethro Gibbs' childhood bedroom," Tony all but cried out as he flopped down onto the bed later that night.

Jet had been right before, Jackson had indeed ordered them around all day, doing this and that but Tony couldn't care less, he had actually enjoyed their banter, had laughed not only once at Jet rolling his eyes every other minute about something that his father had said. This was how it was supposed to be, Tony thought, and realized with a start that even if his father would have approved of Jet and him, they would never be like that. And oddly enough, the thought didn't trouble Tony anymore. He could do without the old man as long as he knew that there were other people out there for him.

"I still can't believe that Dad has kept all of that stuff," Jet replied, running his hands over a football trophy that he had won when he had been like ten.

"Isn't it nice, though?" Tony asked, patting on the space next to him on the bed. "I'd love to have stuff like that from my childhood."

"It's just a whole lot of nonsense."

"No, it's not and you know it. I wish I didn't have to sell all my stuff when I moved out."

"I'm sorry, Tony," Jet softly replied, finally sitting down and pulling an arm around Tony's shoulders.

"Nothing to be sorry for. Helped me get through college without having to work my ass off every day. Besides, I really wouldn't want to sleep in a four-poster bed now, would be very _Death Bed_, wouldn't it? I prefer this one much better."

"A little small for two people, though," Jet replied but Tony didn't miss the small smirk that was building on his lips.

"You say like that's a bad thing. Perfect excuse to hold you close all night."

"Yeah, right," Jet just mumbled because Tony had already pulled him into a fierce kiss, one hand cupped behind his neck, the other one trailing circles on his thigh.

"Tony," he finally pressed out, when Tony had started trailing kisses down his jaw line. "We can't do this here. You do realize that my father's just in the other room, right?"

"What if we're really really quiet?" Tony mumbled, not for a second stopping his actions.

"Tony," Jet groaned and Tony smiled against his neck, satisfied that he was able to draw those noises from him every time he just sucked at the older man's skin. "This house is older than me. There was no such thing as sound proof, you know."

Tony felt himself softly pushed away and it was his turn to groan slightly, knowing that Jet was right, they couldn't possibly do this here.

"This is only a pleasure deferred, right?" he asked then, slipping under the covers and immediately slung his arms around Jet when he followed suit.

"You bet," he just replied.

"Good. And Jet?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for taking me. Means a lot."

"I know. Same here."

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><p><em>AN Good? Bad? [Had some troubles with Jackson here, hope I did him justice, at least a bit ;)]_

_Let me know what you think! :)_


	34. Yesterdays

_A/N: Another Chapter on its way. I just realized that I have actually more time to write with the new job than I had before. Weird xD _

_Anywho... thanks for reading and reviewing, of course. You guys absolutely make my day. I hope you like this one, too... and don't hate me for the ending ;)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Four: Yesterdays <span>**

Waking up the next morning, Tony felt surprisingly rested despite his troubles to fall asleep the night before. It wasn't really the fact that the bed really was too small for two grown men to sleep in but rather that he had been kind of restless and didn't even know why. He had no reason to be after all. Things with Jet were going smoothly and even that was an understatement because Tony actually couldn't think of a way this relationship could possibly get any better. The thing with Jackson was just the icing of the cake, really. Yeah, he had been nervous about telling him but the older Gibbs seemed to be completely at ease causing Tony to relax as Friday night had come to a close. So, really, why had he had trouble falling asleep exactly?

He subtly shook his head and slowly got out of bed, wondering why Jet hadn't waked him up earlier as it was already well after ten o'clock. He grabbed his clothes and quickly made his way to the bathroom in order to take a shower.

Half an hour later, he descended the stairs down into Jackson's store, looking around for any signs of either of the Gibbs' and finally caught a glimpse of Jackson who was just bending over to look at something Tony couldn't see from where he was standing.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Ah, Tony! You could tag those cans over there if you want."

"Sure thing," Tony replied with a smile and started to work humming silently under his breath.

"In case you're wondering, Jethro's out to get some lunch. Apparently, he doesn't trust my cooking skills as much as I do."

"Okay," Tony said with a grin before he realized something. "Wait, did you just call him Jethro?"

"Yeah," Jackson smirked now, slowly making his way towards Tony. "Isn't that what you call him?"

"No, I mean, yeah, but I always thought you call him Leroy?"

"I do. Named the kid, didn't I?"

Laughing, Tony nodded his head vigorously, not even sure whether he was more surprised by the 'Jethro' or 'the kid'. "I think I'm confused."

"Don't you think I know the boy doesn't like Leroy all that much? It's not for nothing that he keeps telling people to just call him Gibbs."

"So why _do _you still call him Leroy?" Tony asked now, barely holding back the smirk now.

Jackson looked at him, his eyes twinkling, clearly amused. "Have to give the boy a reason to be grumpy, don't I? He's got nothing when he's not able to be mad at the old man for some reason."

"Oh, that's the reason why he's grumpy all the time. You should have told me that ages ago. I could have blamed all my screw-ups on you."

Jackson chuckled again, "Yeah, sorry about that. I'll think of something really bad when he gets back, so that you can goof around as much as wish."

"Thanks," Tony replied laughing before he realized that this was probably the only chance to talk to Jet's dad without the guy actually being there. "So, tell me," he started over. "What was he like growing up?"

"What do you want to know?" Jackson replied, still smiling at him.

"I don't know. Anything."

"Well, I don't know. Was always a quiet one, would rather help his mother doing god knows what than doing stuff with the other kids in town. Though, I guess, he was never around much at home, always on the run, building tree houses or rafts. But I guess he still does that, huh? It wasn't until he got like fourteen or fifteen, when he finally made friends and even then, it was usually just the same three guys. Nice lads, though. But I think he was never really lonely, you know, he liked the quiet, liked being on his own."

"He still does," Tony cut in, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, I guess. He was quite the charmer when he was little, though. I remember one time when he persuaded an old lady to buy some magazine about fishing, even though she probably had never set a foot anywhere near a wet spot, I'm telling you. But he just looked up at her with those blue eyes of his. Hell, he didn't even have to say anything, just stared and anybody did what he would tell them, in a cute way of course."

"You know, he still does that sometimes," Tony replied, causing Jackson to chuckle ever so slightly.

"Always very persuasive the boy. Helps with those suspects of yours, I guess."

"Yeah, you should see him stare sometimes. Even after ten years of knowing him, I still shiver every now and then just thinking about it."

They fell silent after that for a few moments, each of them engrossed in their respective tasks at hand and Tony realized that Jackson – very much alike his son – was comfortable with the silence and Tony didn't feel the need to fill it with mindless chatter for once. This just felt right again…

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

He looked up now and saw Jackson standing right next to him, that smile from before still there but something about his face told Tony that his mood had shifted, maybe it was the eyes that were suddenly staring at him seriously.

"I guess it's not a surprise when I tell you that my son can be a bastard sometimes. But listen, I've seen the way he looks at you, even before you two got involved. He cares a great deal about you even though he probably doesn't tell you or show you that enough. The being a bastard stuff runs in the family, I guess, but I've rarely seen him happy like this in his life. Just hang on, son, will you?"

Tony gulped and nodded solemnly, wondering where that declaration had come from all of a sudden. It wasn't like he was going anywhere but he felt oddly touched by Jackson's obvious concern for both him and Jet. Had he actually called him 'son', too? He looked at the guy now, searching for something that would give him away, for something that would tell Tony that he had just said it without care but as their eyes met for the briefest of moments, Tony realized that he held his gaze steadily as if to try to convince him of his words. Tony subtly shook his head, attempting to get rid of the lump that had formed in his chest. He blinked a few times before he answered.

"Thanks. But if I'll ever be stupid enough to walk out of him, he'd just stare at me and make me stay."

Jackson let out a laugh and clapped him on the shoulder before he returned to work.

-x-

"So, did you get your questions out the way while I was away this morning?" Jet asked, while they were walking down the main road.

"Yeah. Heard some gruesome stories, you know. Little Leroy sailing away on floats and making old ladies buy stuff they don't need."

"Doesn't sound all that gruesome to me," Jet smirked.

"Nah, Jack didn't tell me anything bad or otherwise I would be making fun of you for the rest of your life, trust me."

"Good to know," Jet answered, looking at Tony, knowing that it was just a saying but still, he couldn't help but think that it wouldn't be all that bad having him there for the rest of his life.

"What?" Tony asked, apparently having realized that Jethro had been staring at him.

"Nothing," he replied slowly. "Want to go to a place, where I used to spend time as a kid?"

"I'd love to."

-x-

"Are we ever going to get there?" Tony asked, panting slightly.

They had been walking for about half an hour and up a few small hills and Jet realized that even though Tony's voice had sounded slightly annoyed, he was still smiling, his glance never resting on anything for more than a few seconds as he was too busy looking around. By now there in the outskirts of a forest and it was eerily silent, except for an occasional song of a bird or the humming of the bees. Jet was able to see the light of the sun and the shadows dancing on Tony's face, making him look years younger. He took a deep breath and was able to smell the minty scent of the trees surrounding them. Smiling slightly, Jet took him by the hand and together they continued their journey.

"Just like I remember it."

"How long has it been since you've been here?" Tony asked as they had finally reached the top of the hill, where they had a nice view over Stillwater.

"Ages, don't even remember the last time. Probably before I left for the corps.

"So, a hundred thousand years ago?"

Dodging the head slap, Tony turned around until his eyes settled on a rock and went over there, sitting down, looking at Gibbs expectantly. Getting the hint, Jet followed and was about to sit down next to him as Tony's hands grabbed him by the hips, causing him to nearly fall onto his lap. Tony looked up at him now, his smile broad and sincere, his eyes twinkling.

"So tell me, what did you do up here? Dragging your girls here, making out for no eyes to see? Collecting wood for your floats and stuff?"

"Nah," Jet smirked now, pulling one arm around Tony's shoulders. "Mostly just sat here, looking over the town and thinking. Was nice to get away from time to time."

"Sounds like a thing Leroy Gibbs would do. You've always been like that?"

"Like what?"

"Serious? Grumpy?" Tony said now, slightly bowing his head as if he was expecting another slap upside his head.

But Jet just looked at him, cocking his head ever so slightly. "Wouldn't call it grumpy, Tony. But I guess I've always been silent as a kid, yeah."

"Yeah, _exactly _like I've been," Tony grinned. "But hey, I guess opposites attract, huh?"

"I guess," Jet replied and brought his hand to Tony's left cheek, brushing his thumb across his lips.

He leaned down ever so slightly, opened his mouth to say something but was suddenly at a loss for words as those green eyes locked into his, so he just closed the small gap between them, stealing the other man's lips for a moment. He leaned his forehead against Tony's, his eyes never leaving his, as he trailed patterns on Tony's cheek with his thumb. He was able to see Tony smile up at him and stole another kiss. It was slow and lazy and as Jet was able to feel Tony's tongue on his lips, begging for entrance, he let him take the lead. They sat there kissing each other, looking at each other, never uttering a single word for a long time and Jet couldn't remember when something had last felt quite that intimate. He tried to express his feelings in some way but his words failed him again, so he just kept on staring at him, pressing soft kisses against his cheeks and lips, hoping that somehow Tony would get the message.

"See," Tony said when they finally got up again, "at least you've taken one date up here."

"And there's never going to be more than that one," Jet replied, causing Tony to give him a smile that was so broad that it threatened to split his face apart.

He remained silent for a moment, apparently trying to work out something in his mind but was unable to come up with anything.

"Come on," Jet helped him out. "Let's get home. Dad's probably wondering where we are."

"Isn't it great to feel sixteen again?"

"Not particularly," Jet grinned.

"Think it's nice to have someone worry about you, though," Tony said, suddenly serious again. "You know, someone wondering where you are, even shout at you for coming home late and stuff. Often wondered what it felt like."

Jet looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to reply but Tony just subtly shook his head and gave him a small smile. "But who am I to complain? Most kids would have killed not to have the old man upon their backs."

"Your dad's an idiot, you know that, right?"

"Got the memo a long time ago, yeah. It's okay. Plus, it's nice to have Jackson fuss over me now."

"Be careful what you're wishing for," Jet grinned, sensing Tony's suddenly happier mood. "Or he's never going to stop bothering you."

Tony just shrugged. "Could be worse."

-x-

_Tony rubbed his eyes and stretched. God, he loved summer break. No school, no stupid teachers telling him what to do, just seemingly endless days of sunshine, of playing basketball with some of the boys who lived down the street. On top of that, his mom had baked his favorite chocolate chip cake the day before that he usually only got once a year on his birthday but he hadn't complained, of course. In fact, his mom had been in such a good mood those last couple of days that he had started to wonder whether it meant that she didn't have to go back to the hospital again. He had missed her terribly whenever she had been there over the last year. Granted, he had still been able to visit her on her 'good days' as his nanny always phrased it but it wasn't quite the same, was it?_

_He got up now, not bothering to change and made his way to the living-room barefooted, maybe he would be able to watch some cartoons before everyone else would get up. He opened the door to the living-room and the first thing he registered was the biting scent of stale alcohol. Tony couldn't quite place it but thought it was probably the one that his dad drank all the time. Tony had never been able to remember the name but it was of that weird brownish color. _

_He briefly wondered whether his dad had gotten home early but discarded the thought quickly as he was able to hear music playing somewhere in the background. Jazz. His dad hated Jazz but his mom didn't. He subtly shook his head. This wasn't like his mother to forget to turn off the radio. He took a step forwards and winced as his left foot came in contact with something sharp. As he looked down he realized that he had stepped into a piece of broken glass. He felt tears stinging his eyes as he tried to get rid of the piece that was still stuck in his skin but willed himself not to cry. He was a DiNozzo after all and DiNozzo men didn't cry. He managed to pull it out and then knelt down on the floor to pick up the remaining pieces. It wasn't until he was just about to get up again that he saw her._

_His mom was lying on the couch, still wearing that beautiful white dress from the day before. But she didn't look quite right, not right at all. Tony's glance reached her face now and noticed that she was pale, unnatural pale, her hair was a mess and her eyes were unmoving, seemingly staring at something only they could see. _

"_Mom?" Tony tried as he took a few tentative steps forwards._

_But still, she was lying there, not moving at all, not looking back at him, not anything. Tony felt panic rise up inside of him, his mouth had gotten dry and he could hear his heartbeat roaring in his own ears. This wasn't right, his mom never ignored him like that. He continued to approach her, feeling the pieces of the glass pressing painfully into the palm of his hand as he willed himself to stop shaking._

"_Mom?"_

_As he was only a few feet away from her, he felt himself step into something cold and wet. Expecting to see the spilled alcohol that he had smelled earlier, he looked down and let out a cry. This wasn't alcohol, it was something red. _

_Blood. _

_He heard the sound of glass shattering and realized only now that his hands were shaking so violently now that he had dropped the glass again._

_No. No. No. No._

_Tony looked up again, half expecting that his mom would jump up and shout something like 'Joke!' but she was still lying there and only now was he able to see where all the blood had come from. His mom's left wrist was cut, his father's razor blades still in her other hand. _

_He shook his head, his eyes staring and yet somehow not seeing. The world around him had become blurry, the only thing he was able to see clearly was her arm, smudged with blood. He felt tears running down his cheeks now but didn't care, his father wasn't there to punish him for being so weak to dare crying._

_He didn't know how long he stood there, shaking his head in denial, trying to do something to make her come back again but he wasn't even able to move. He didn't even realize that someone had entered the room until he was grabbed from behind by arms he knew all too well because those were the ones that hugged him most of the time. He felt himself being lifted off the ground by his nanny and then getting carried out of the room. He struggled, tried to get away from her because she was taking him away from his mother. He had to stay there by her side, had to help her and that woman wouldn't let him. He punched her on her back with his fists now and kicked her, leaving red spots on her short but she just wouldn't let go. She just tightened her grip around him, whispering into his ear but Tony wasn't able to understand her. He didn't want to, either, he just wanted to go back into the living-room, wanted to see his mother. Why was it so hard for her to understand that?_

"_Moooom!" _

-x-

"Tony," he heard a slightly frantic voice, seemingly from far away. "Tony, wake up."

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><p><em>AN: As always, let me know what you think, please! :) _


	35. Basket Cases

_A/N: Thanks a lot for all your reviews! :) _

_Okay, so... hope you like this chapter and yes, I do realize that they are both OOC. I really tried to keep them in character but I don't know... See for yourself, I guess ;)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Five: Basket Cases<span>**

Jet woke up with a grunt as Tony's arm suddenly hit him square in the face. He pushed the arm away and was just about to wake the other man up to complain, when he realized that Tony's hand was sweaty, so was his arm and as Jet switched on the lamp, that was standing on his nightstand, he realized that the younger man's t-shirt was clinging to his body as it was soaking wet. Jet had already placed a hand on Tony's shoulder to wake him up as he groaned and mumbled something. Jet leaned into him now and was able to make out some words that sounded suspiciously like 'nanny' and 'let go of me'. He briefly wondered whether the last utterance had been directed at him but he doubted it as Tony seemed to be still fast asleep, obviously having a nightmare and a bad one at that. Jet carefully shook his shoulder now.

"Tony," he whispered with no result.

Tony turned around again, so that he was lying flat on his back, apparently struggling against something. Jet furrowed a brow. Usually Tony was very still when he was sleeping, he rarely even turned in the bed at night, at least not since Jet had been sharing it with him. All of a sudden the movements stopped and there was silence for a few moments and as Jet had already leaned back again, hoping that the dream had come to an end, Tony screamed.

"Moooom!"

Jet's blood ran cold at the sound. He had never heard him yell like that, not that desperate, not that lost, not that devastated.

"Tony," he tried again, louder this time, somehow frantic. "Tony, wake up."

Finally Tony stirred, his eyes fluttering open, panting heavily. He looked up at him with unfocused eyes before he blinked, once, twice. He then rubbed his hand over his face as if to get rid of the vision he was having before he looked up at Jet again, his eyes somehow still glassy, still a bit out of focus.

"You okay?" Jet asked, desperately trying to get his own heartbeat under control.

He didn't even know why he was that upset, after all it had only been a dream and he hadn't even dreamt it. But looking at Tony lying there, soaking wet from sweat, his eyes so sad, having just cried out for his mother made him sick to his stomach.

"Gibbs?" he finally asked and Jet's insides clenched at hearing his last name, the guy obviously was confused.

He opened his mouth at the same time when a knock on the door and then his father's surprisingly soft voice was to be heard.

"You okay? I heard a yell."

Not averting his eyes from Tony's, Jet quickly answered. "We're fine. Just a nightmare. Sorry, we woke you up."

"Okay," Jack's answer came slow, almost reluctant. "Call me if you need anything."

He listened to the disappearing footsteps, softly touching Tony's arm. It was when he realized that the younger man was shaking.

"Come here," Jet whispered now and helped him sit up.

Tony leaned weakly against him and Jethro pulled him closer so that Tony was sitting in between his legs now. Softly beginning to stroke his back and placing his chin on Tony's shoulder, he tried to soothe him, tried to get him to talk.

"It was just a nightmare, Tony. Nothing has happened."

He felt Tony nod and Jet was relieved as he leaned backwards into his touch but he was still shaking, apparently to no end.

"It wasn't," he finally pressed out.

"Dreamt about your mom, didn't you?" Jet whispered now and felt Tony nod sharply once.

"How d'you…?"

"Screamed out her name, Tones."

"Sorry," Tony mumbled somewhat unintelligible.

"No worries. Tell me what happened?"

Tony shook his head and again started to shake ever so slightly, causing Jet to bring his arms around Tony's torso, holding him even closer.

"Come on, it'll help you."

"No, it's stupid."

"Tony, c'mon," Jet was whispering again. "This isn't normal, you have to talk to me."

The younger man remained silent for a long time, apparently trying to get a grip on himself and Jet let him, knowing that he would start talking eventually. As the shaking had finally stopped, Tony cleared his throat and then started to speak.

"I dreamt about… I never told anyone about this. You know when my mother…," he trailed off now and Jet tightened the grip around him as he realized that Tony's voice was breaking because tears were starting to fall now.

Tony quickly wiped them away, shaking his head as if he was ashamed of them. Then, Jet realized, he probably was, so he just gave him a squeeze again.

"It's okay. It's just me."

He felt him nod again before he continued.

"This wasn't just a dream, Jet. This was real. I've tried to repress it but it keeps on coming back to me and I just can't do anything about it. I've tried everything, telling myself not to dream about it, not to think about it but it doesn't help. I just doesn't… It's just, I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard I try."

"Not your fault, Tony," Jet tried to soothe him, sensing that he was about to close off.

He knew those kinds of dreams all too well and he hoped that Tony would open up to him, maybe it would help.

"I know. Sometimes I wish it would just disappear, you know. I never told you but when my mom… died, I was… I was the one who found her. She was just laying there, with blood everywhere, was all pale, her eyes staring into nothingness. I mean, I'm just standing there, my own feet drenched in her blood and just stand there, staring at her, unable to even move. I keep shouting at myself to do something, to make her come back but I just freaking stand there and do nothing."

He broke off now, finally letting his tears fall freely and Jethro just let him, holding him close, whispering things into his ear that were supposed to soothe him. He imagined the boy in the video finding his own dead mother who had just committed suicide and his stomach turned. No eight year old boy was supposed to have to deal with that.

"There's nothing you could have done," he finally said.

"My mind keeps telling me that," Tony hesitantly answered, his voice still breaking. "But every time I have that dream, every time I just think of her, I'm suddenly all desperate, I mean, seriously. No guy that is as old as me is supposed to wake up feeling like that, all helpless just because of a dream. But I just can't help it, I can't help but feel guilty. Wasn't I supposed to know that something was wrong with her? Shouldn't I have known that her good mood the days before were in fact not good but a sign that her depression was about to come back, that she had been drinking again? If I had told her that I loved her more often, would she have changed her mind? Would she not have done it? I know it's stupid… but it's just the way it is."

"It's not stupid, Tones," Jethro answered slowly, feeling really sick himself by now. "You didn't do anything wrong. Your mom was sick, you couldn't have known. You were only eight years old, hon. And it's not stupid to still feel that way, either. You hear that? I can't even begin to imagine what it must have felt like seeing your mom like that and I'm really sorry you had to. I really am sorry."

Tony nodded and wiped away his tears again but he was still tense, was still sweating.

"It just… it just doesn't get better you know."

"I know. I know," Jet whispered.

"How d'you…"

Jet gulped as he realized where Tony was getting at. He knew that the younger man knew him too well, must have suspected it and probably was too out of it at the moment to realize what he had just implied. Jet subtly shook his head as he realized that if he wouldn't talk to him now, he couldn't help him and he wanted to, desperately wanted to help him.

"Remember when I told you that I had to identify Kelly and Shannon?" As he felt Tony nod again, Jet continued, closing his eyes now. "I still see them lying there on those autopsy tables. I still feel myself getting sick at the thought about it. Back then, there wasn't a night when I didn't dream about them. And it was never a happy one, it was never one when they were alive but always those two lifeless faces. It got better over time but then a case or something that someone said that reminded me of them would hit me right out of the blue and the dreams would come back, no matter how hard I tried. And then that bomb exploded… and when I woke up, it was all back again, the pain, the pictures and it was driving me insane. I didn't know what to do."

"Is that why you went to Mexico?" Tony whispered and for the first time since he had woken up, his voice wasn't shaking anymore.

"There were other things but yeah, it was the most important reason. It didn't get better though. I woke up screaming every night for the first two or three weeks until Mike came to me one morning telling me that he couldn't take it anymore and that I had to get my head out of my ass and talk to him before he would kill me for waking him up again."

Tony let out a pathetic bark of a laugh before he rubbed his face again, with no doubt getting rid of his tears.

"And I tell you what, Tony," Jet continued now, whispering again. "It helped. It actually helped. The dreams were less frequent after that."

"You still sometimes dream about them, though, don't you?" Tony mumbled and turned his head ever so slightly to look at him. "I sometimes hear you murmur in your sleep."

"Yeah," Jet replied slowly. "I do. And sometimes it's even the same old dream but I dream about them in other ways more often now. You know, like watching Kelly at a carnival, riding the carousel or walking together with Shannon at a beach, just having a good time. You want to know what my last dream was about?"

Tony nodded and finally a bit of his tension seemed to fade as he leaned into him.

"I'm at home sitting on the couch, watching some stupid television show with the two of them. We're laughing because Kelly doesn't want to see us kiss or something. I think that actually did happen. But then, the scene changes. I mean I'm still sitting on the couch but they are gone all of a sudden and for the first time, I'm not getting desperate, don't freak out because they aren't there anymore. And then, I feel myself starting to freak out just because, you know, I wasn't freaking out about it. But you want to know what happens then? Another person just comes into the living-room, pulling an arm around me and tells me that it's okay to freak. But I don't, I just keep on sitting there because I just realized that I can't change it anyway."

They remained silent after that and to Jet's surprise having told Tony about it had felt good, had felt right like so many things lately. He just kept on sitting there, his arms still around the younger man, leaning his cheek against Tony's, just listening to his breathing, attentive to any change in the other man's posture. He was able to feel the tension slowly fading from Tony's body now as he grabbed both of Jet's hands, intertwining their fingers.

"Listen," Jet started after a while. "There are no guarantees. I can't promise that just because you told me that stuff, the dreams will disappear. But I just want you to know that you can come to me, okay? Whenever you start feeling that way, you know, just talk to me. Maybe it'll help. I don't know."

"Thanks," Tony slowly answered and it sounded so strangely sincere that Jet felt something tug uncomfortably at his insides again.

Jethro didn't know how long they just sat there, holding on to each other, lost in thought. It was only when he realized that his own shirt was starting to cling to him that he snapped out of his headspace.

"Come on," he softly said. "Let's get you into the shower. You're soaking wet."

"You coming with me?" Tony asked quietly, seemingly exhausted to no end.

"Yeah."

-x-

Shaking his head, Tony held on to Jet who was practically dragging him along the hallway into the bathroom. He was still a bit shaky, his thoughts all over the place and he still couldn't quite comprehend what had just happened. He had dreamt about his mom, had apparently cried out for her, waking up Jet and his dad in the course. It wasn't like he hadn't had that goddamn dream before even if it had become less frequent over the last couple of months. But it had not been that bad in what felt like forever, never had it been that colorful, never had he felt like that eight year old version of him.

He glanced at Jet now, who had a firm grip on him as if he was afraid he would fall over, his eyes all over the place, a weird kind of grim sadness cloaking him. Tony still wasn't quite sure what it was that was making his stomach all funny, all fuzzy. Whether it was the dream or Jet's reaction to it or something else entirely.

Once inside the bathroom, Jet actually helped him out of the shirt and his boxer shorts like he was a little kid but Tony was too exhausted to actually care, to actually feel ashamed. He only realized that the other man had stepped into the shower with him, when he felt arms around him, softly pushing him out of the way to turn on the water. They stood there in the shower under the warm spray of water for what felt like hours with Tony just staring at the older man, wondering how he even deserved having him there. He shouldn't have told him, shouldn't have offloaded all that stuff on to him, shouldn't have freaked out on him but still Jet had just listened to him, had just held on to him like it was most natural thing in the world to do. And now he was standing there, not saying a word, just looking at him with those wary and yet caring blue eyes. Really, how did he deserve it? Just… why?

"Jet," Tony finally said, his voice all hoarse.

He stopped there as if he only realized now that he had no idea what he wanted to say. Or actually, he did know what to tell him. He wanted to tell him how much all of that meant to him, wanted to tell him that he was sorry, wanted to tell him that he just wanted to hold on to him like that forever and yet not hold on to him because Jethro had problems on his own and really didn't need Tony's on his shoulders, too. But then, maybe, Tony would be able to help him in return? It was possible, right? God, he hoped it was possible. He wanted to tell him all of that but he couldn't say the words, wasn't even able to form a sentence that would actually make sense.

"Shh," Jet suddenly cut through his train of thought in a whisper. "You don't have to say anything. I know."

Tony shook his head, knowing that whatever he would say didn't cut it, wasn't enough. Suddenly, the kisses, the looks in the forest the day before came back into his mind and only now did he know what the feeling was that had been tugging at him, that had been roaring at him to get out. He was only able to identify it now and he shook his head again as he wondered, how he had been that stupid not to realize it before because it was almost crushing him now.

He gulped and tried to give the other man a smile but wasn't entirely sure whether the corners of his mouth were actually twitching or not.

"Jethro," he started over and Jet looked at him again, "I love you."

He watched Jet's expression going from worried to wondering, his eyes had widened and he had tilted his head ever so slightly, not quite smiling at him but not quite scowling, either.

"You don't have to say anything," Tony hastened to continue, his voice somehow still a few pitches too high. "I just wanted to tell you and I feel kind of stupid for only telling you now because I think I have loved you for a really long time. And don't say anything now just because I did. Doesn't matter, I just needed to say it."

"Hey Tony," the other man replied in nothing more than a whisper. "When I told you about that dream I had, that other person that told me that it was okay? That person was you. You get that? It was you. And you want to know why I suddenly knew that it was alright? Because you where there, not replacing Kelly and Shannon but adding to them."

Tony stared at Jet, letting sink in what he had just said. That smile that had refused to make itself seen before finally tugged at the corners of his mouth as Jet continued.

"I love you, too."

They just smiled at each other, not even touching, only looking into each other's eyes for a long time but Tony didn't mind. In fact, for a fleeting moment, he actually thought that he could stand there like this forever. It was only when he felt a shiver cursing through his body that he realized that the water had turned cold and that they should probably get out of the shower after all.

"Let's go back to bed, huh?"

"Yeah," Jet just replied, still smiling at him, causing Tony's stomach to go all fuzzy again.

When they lay in bed together a few minutes later with Jet's arms securely wrapped around Tony, the younger man couldn't help but feel happy. The dream from earlier was still hovering over him like a thunderhead, threatening to crash down on him any second but he knew that he had Jet in his corner and that suddenly relaxed him enormously.

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><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Good? Bad? Talk to me xD_


	36. Friends

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews again!_

_Hope you like this one, too! :)_

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Six: Friends<span>**

Jet was sitting in his father's kitchen early the next morning, sipping on his coffee, trying to get himself out of his headspace. After he had made sure that Tony had fallen asleep again and especially that he wouldn't have a nightmare again, he had tried to get back to sleep himself but had to realize that it was a lost battle. So he just lay there for the rest of the night, holding the younger man close, and thought about what had happened. His insides still clenched, even now when he thought about the utterly lost look on Tony's face right after he had woken up.

Jethro shook his head, trying to get rid of the picture and tried to direct his thoughts to the shower afterwards, to Tony's 'I love you'. He knew that the younger man had been desperate but that didn't mean he hadn't meant it because Jet was sure he had.

"What are you smiling about so early in the morning?" his father's voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Sure," Jack chuckled, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Sorry we woke you up last night."

"No worries, Leroy. Everything alright, though? With Tony?"

"Yeah," Jet sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "It's going to be."

"What's wrong?"

"He just had a nightmare. Shook him up pretty bad. But I think it's going to be okay."

"I'm sure it will," Jackson replied smiling, though Jet was able to make out a faint look of sadness on his face.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them just staring into the coffee until Jackson finally cleared his throat and Jet looked up again.

"You think his father's going to change his mind about you?"

Slightly taken aback by the question, Jet remained silent, drinking his coffee again before he slowly shook his head. "I don't think so. They never really were… close, I guess."

"What are you not telling me, son?" Jackson prodded, his voice still friendly, still worried.

"When Tony was a kid, he never was around and when he was, Tony says that he was mostly drunk, not paying him any attention at all and if he was, he…"

He trailed off now, knowing that his father would get the picture without him actually having to say it. He wasn't sure whether Tony would mind that Jack knew but Jet needed another opinion on this and as Jack was offering…

"That bastard," the older man said now, his nostrils flaring. "That's why he was so taken aback when I said that he was welcome in our family?"

"I guess," Jet shrugged, smiling slightly at his father's obvious anger. "But he's fine now and if Senior is dumb enough not to acknowledge that, it's his own fault."

"He's got us now, right?"

Jet looked up, suddenly feeling warm inside as he looked into the sincere face of his father. As much as the guy was a pain in the ass, as much did Jet know that he would always be there when he needed him and apparently the same was true for Tony.

"You mean that?"

"Of course, the guy's such a kick, always liked him and he likes you a lot, so. You two can always swing by whenever you want. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, thanks, Dad."

Jackson got up to get another cup of coffee and gave him a broad smile, patting his shoulder. "You really do love him, don't you?"

"What?" Jet asked, slightly taken aback, wondering where that came from.

"Well, don't you?"

"No, I mean, yeah, I do."

"Then tell him."

"Tell me what?" Tony's voice was suddenly to be heard, startling both of the Gibbs' as he entered the kitchen, already dressed but his hair still disheveled, which caused Jethro to smile ever so slightly.

"He wants me to tell you that I love you," Jet smirked as he saw the surprised look on Jackson's face at the statement.

"Oh," Tony smiled at Jack now, even though Jet was still able to see the exhaustion on the younger man's face. "Your son's not as tight-lipped as you might think. He already told me."

"Yeah? Well, good for you, Leroy. Who knew that you'd get your head out of your ass so quickly, huh?"

"Dad," Jet hissed in what he hoped was a threatening tone but Jack just chuckled and left the kitchen muttering something about taking a shower.

"You think he's going to be mad if he doesn't have any hot water left?" Tony joked, while he was sitting down next to Jethro.

"We'll see," Jet chuckled before he continued more seriously. "You okay?"

Tony just shrugged, not looking at him. He rubbed the back of his head with his left hand while the right one reached out to take Jet's, who accepted gladly.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm fine. Just really tired. Hasn't been that bad for years."

"You think there's a reason for that?" Jet asked, tilting his head ever so slightly and finally the younger man looked at him.

"I don't know. I guess the visit to the grave or thinking of my dad or I don't know. Were some intense weeks, that's all."

"Okay. Should we talk to your father?"

"What? No, Jet, really not. He's made his decision thirty years ago not to give a damn about me. That hasn't changed and I don't mind. I might, however," he continued, smiling at him and Jet somehow felt instantly relaxed. "Borrow your dad from time to time."

"You do that," Jet replied. "I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

"Of course, he will. Remember, I'm a kick."

"How long have you been eavesdropping there?" Jet asked now, shaking his head, chuckling.

"Long enough," Tony smiled sincerely.

"Bad, bad," Jet replied, playing a kiss on his cheek. "So, you okay?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "I guess. Thanks, I really didn't mean to load all that crap on you."

"Oh, be quiet, will you? That's what I'm here for. Don't ever hold stuff like that back, you got that?"

"Yes, sir," Tony replied and gave him a kiss on the lips before he cocked his head ever so slightly. "I meant what I said in the shower, though. Had nothing to do with me having some sort of break down there, you know that, right?"

"I know and I meant it, too."

"Good," Tony let out a sigh. "Hope to hear that under better circumstances next time."

"I love you. That better?"

"Yeah, I think so," Tony smirked, stealing another kiss. "I could get used to that."

"You better."

-x-

"Tony, Tony, Tony!"

Abby was all but running up to him, squeezing him in a bear hug, leaving him panting for air. He had just walked into her lab, carrying a Caf-Pow! to get the time to fly past faster as they had only cold cases again and he was slightly bored by now.

"Wah, Abs, it's just me."

"I know," she grinned, snatching the drink out of his hand and sucked on the straw. "So how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Stillwater, Tony! Gibbs' dad! I bet he was a total sweetheart, wasn't he? I so love this guy."

"Slow down, take a breath," Tony grinned at her. "It was fine."

"That's all you're going to tell me? It was fine?"

Smirking, he sat down in front of one of her computers. "What do you want to know, then?"

"Did he tell you how Gibbs was as a kid? Was he okay with you two? Were you in a hotel or did you sleep in Gibbs' room?"

"Yes. Yes. Gibbs' room."

"Have you been taking lessons from him in monosyllabic answers?"

"Nope."

Tony winced as Abby poked him not so softly on his shoulder.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me. But you had a good time, right? You look like you had one at least."

"Very investigative of you, Miss Marple," Tony replied. "Yeah, I had a good time. And I will tell you stuff later, okay? We're still on for tonight, right? Us and the gang at the bar?"

"You're coming?" Abby asked, apparently slightly surprised.

"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. I just thought maybe now that you have Gibbs you'd prefer staying home, getting all dirty with him."

"Abby," Tony sighed. "Just because I got him now, doesn't mean I'm ditching you. I never even thought about it, so don't worry. I'll be there."

Abby just smiled at him, pulling him into a hug again that must have broken at least four ribs.

"But, uh, could you pick me up? My car's at the shop."

"Sure," she replied. "Your place?"

Shaking his head and grinning as he got up, Tony answered. "Gibbs'."

"You're so cute."

"I've always been cute, Abs," Tony replied playfully upset.

"Sure you were. But your cuteness level has gone way up since you got together with the bossman, believe me."

-x-

"So, when's Abby going to pick you up?" Jet asked, sitting on the couch, only half watching the baseball game that was on.

"Should be here any minute. And you're sure you don't want to join us?"

Jet snorted. "Can you picture me at a bar with you or dancing?"

"Guess not," Tony replied, flopping down on the couch next to him. "So you're not going to be bored all alone at home without me?"

"I'll manage," Jet smirked.

"Oh you so invited someone over, didn't you?"

"Nah, didn't. I'm planning to work on the boat. I've got a feeling though that Tobias is going to show."

"Why's that?"

"Told him you were going out."

"See, so you _did _invite him over."

Placing a soft slap upside Tony's head, Jet leaned into him and kissed him tenderly. He wasn't exactly happy about not spending the night with the younger man but he knew that they couldn't neglect all the others and he was pretty sure it would do them some good.

"So, uh, if it's not too late, I'll swing by here again?" Tony asked now, his voice low.

"If you want to. Anytime you want. You got the key."

"Yeah," he replied and was just about to lean closer again as the door bell rang.

Jet stood up and opened the front door, revealing a rather disgruntled looking Abby.

"What's wrong, Abs?"

"You!" she said though Jet realized now that she wasn't really upset. "How am I supposed to ever catch you doing something dirty when you suddenly lock your door? That's so not fair, Gibbs."

He snorted and let her in. "Deal with it."

"Hmpf," she just said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Hey Abs," Tony finally joined the conversation, pulling her into a hug which she reluctantly returned.

"Don't be mad at the bossman," Tony said in a loud whisper, looking over at Jet with a smirk. "He just doesn't want somebody to lynch me in my sleep. He's just careful."

Jethro laughed now and winked at him, trying to hide the fact that Tony had hit some truth there with his joke. He usually only locked the front door when he had actually something or rather someone to lose.

"Okay," Abby finally replied, still pouting slightly. "Are you as excited about tonight as I am? I mean with finally meeting Timmy's new McSqueeze?"

"What? I didn't know he was bringing her!"

"You didn't?" Abby asked furrowing a brow. "He told me this morning and only because he wanted to make sure that we'd behave. Ziva and Palmer know, too. Why didn't he warn you of all people? You being Mr. McTease and all."

"I don't know," Jet almost heard the confusion in Tony's voice.

"It's surely because your weird brotherly bond lately," Abby replied and Jet realized that she was probably right, Tim and Tony were pretty close lately but he had never questioned it before.

"Don't be ridunculous," Tony replied indignantly, though Jet realized that he was smiling broadly now as if he had just gotten really good news.

"Whatever," Abby dismissed it now. "Let's go before he changes his mind and doesn't introduce us to her."

"Yeah, let's roll," Tony said, grabbing his wallet and keys.

Tony was already halfway out the door when he seemed to remember something and turned around again to kiss him, causing Abby to squeal. Tony ignored her and smiled again as he retreated.

"Love you, see you later."

"You, too. Have fun."

-x-

Abby was still grinning broadly when they pulled over at the club a couple of minutes later. Tony smiled to himself, feeling utterly relaxed and strangely happy.

"Big L-Word already, huh?" Abby finally asked as they got out of the car and slowly walked towards where Ziva, Jimmy and Breena where already waiting.

"Yup," Tony just replied, still unable to wipe away that goddamn smile upon his lips.

"That's big, Tony, really big. You know how much that means hearing it from Gibbs, right? He's always hiding stuff like that, hides every relationship. But not this time, you've done him really good. I'm so proud of you."

"What are you now? My mother?" Tony joked and oddly didn't feel his insides clench at the thought, despite of what had happened in Stillwater.

"No, but I'm still proud."

"Why is Abby proud?" Ziva asked, obviously having heard the last piece of the conversation.

"Because apparently she's my mother now," Tony just replied, smiling.

"Okay," Ziva said, furrowing a brow, not even bothering to ask.

"So, Breena, are you excited already? It's only two months till the wedding, isn't it?" Abby asked.

"Yeah. I'm so nervous already, it's ridiculous. But Jimmy here is such a sweetheart, complying with my every wish."

"What's up with people tonight?" Abby said, rolling her eyes in mock annoyance. "Everyone is so lovey-dovey. Even Gibbs. Seriously, Ziva, are you available? If I don't get to at least dance with anyone tonight, I might consider hooking up with you."

"Okay, I am so going to look for someone for you, then," Ziva replied laughing just as McGee approached them.

"Hey," he said, blushing ever so slightly. "Everyone this is Becky."

They all shook hands and said hello before they finally got into the club and sat at their usual booth. The conversation was flowing freely and Tony, for once, was quiet, just listened to the others, enjoying their company. After a while, a guy approached their table, asking Abby if he could buy her a drink and even though Tony knew that he wasn't her type at all, Abby agreed and a bit after that, Ziva got asked to dance, too. As Jimmy and Breena where in their own world anyway, Tony was left to talk to Tim and his new girlfriend.

"So, what do you do, Becky?"

"I'm a pediatric nurse. So it's kind of a nice change to talk to grown up people once in a while."

"Oh, then you're talking to the wrong person now because according to your Tim here, I'm still five most of the time."

"I'm sure that's not true. In fact, I've never heard him complain once. Said work without you is a drag most of the time."

"Did you, now, Tim?" Tony asked, giving him a small smile.

"It's true," he replied, shrugging.

"You're the movie buff, right?" Becky continued unaware of Tony's slightly happy confusion about McGee's statement. "Has Tim shown you his new flat screen already? It's huge."

"Nah, he hasn't. Bigger than mine?"

"Of course, that's the first thing you'd ask," Tim smirked. "Yeah, it is. You should really check it out some time. Bring a movie and takeout and you're on."

"Deal," Tony grinned.

"You think we could make a double date out of that?" Becky asked now, looking at McGee expectantly.

"Uh, I don't know. I don't think the boss is into movies all that much."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Tony interjected, grinning broadly at McGee's expression of pure disbelief. "If you pick the right movie and he is in a good mood, I might actually be able to persuade him."

"No way," McGee replied.

"I bet you fifty dollars."

"Okay, you're on."

"You are exactly as he told me you would were," Becky said now, smiling at him.

"Is that a bad or a good thing now?"

"Won't tell you," she laughed before she stood up, excusing herself to the bathroom.

"She seems awesome, McSweetheart."

"She really is."

Tony gave him a lopsided grin before he sipped from his coke. "You should keep her, you know."

"Oh, Tony DiNozzo approves? Well, then, I really have to."

Tony head slapped him before he leaned towards him and quietly said. "No, seriously, she's great. Hope it'll work out for you."

"Thanks. You and Gibbs are okay, too, right?"

"More than okay actually. Listen, Tim, I never thanked you for… you know, back when we broke up. You really…"

Tony trailed off, staring at his glass now, unsure of what to say.

"Don't have to thank me for anything. That's what friends are for, right?"

-x-

Jet had been sanding the boat for a few hours now. Fornell had shown up about two hours previously and ever since then, they had mostly just sat there or worked talking about everything and nothing. It was nice actually but Jet would never admit that to himself. It was already one o'clock in the morning when his cell rang and he had to suppress a smile as he looked at the caller ID.

"Hey Tony."

"Hey. I know it's late but can I still come over? Or is Fornell still there? I just have to drop off Abby because she's really drunk."

"Yeah, no problem. And since when does Abby get drunk?"

He heard Tony chuckle on the over end. "I think she had to drink to make the guys there look more handsome."

"Ah," he just replied, smirking.

"Okay, I'll be at your place in about half an hour."

"Yeah. Bye."

He hung up the phone and tossed it back onto the workbench, picking up the sanding paper again.

"You know it's really sickening to see you like that," Tobias said.

"Like what?"

"Smiling like an idiot because a goddamn guy called you."

"Oh shut up, Toby."

"It's true. Look at yourself, you're still smiling. I've never seen you like that before."

"You know what your problem is, Tobias?"

"No idea, tell me, Jethro. Let me in your secret," Fornell replied sarcastically.

Jet chuckled ever so slightly. "You're just not used to see me like that."

"Like what? Happy? Come on, Gibbs, now _that _really makes me sick now. But whatever, I think I'm going to head out then. Wouldn't want to disturb you and Tony."

He stood up now and was already at the top of the stairs when Jet finally replied.

"You don't really have problem with that, do you?"

"What?" Tobias turned around, all serious. "Of course, I don't. It's good to see you like that, though I still don't get what the hell you're thinking screwing DiNozzo. But if it makes you happy, I'm happy."

Jet snorted and nodded at him and then, Fornell was out the door.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think! ;)_


	37. Have No Fear

_A/N: As always, thanks a lot for your reviews :) _

_Also, this chapter is a bit shorter than usual and it's probably going to be the one before the last ;)_

_Hope you like it! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Seven: Have No Fear<span>**

"Aww, come on, Jet."

"No way in hell I'm going to do that."

"But what's the big deal? I know you like to keep on conveying the impression of the grumpy boss there but you said so yourself, we shouldn't just spend time in company of each other. Not that I don't dig it because, trust me, I do but please? It's only one night. You even get to pick the movie and I'll buy you dinner whenever you want. It's fifty bucks, Jet."

Jet sighed and leaned back against the metallic walls of the elevator. He refused to look up at Tony because he was sure that the younger man would stare at him with puppy eyes, practically begging him to just say yes. Tony had tormented him about that damn movie night at McGee's for over a week now and he slowly felt his determination not to go slide away. Jet briefly wondered how Tony was able to pull it off because usually he wasn't one to waver in his decisions.

Subtly shaking his head, he finally looked at him and was able to see the foreseen puppy eyes but they were almost immediately overshadowed by the broad grin that was building on Tony's face now.

"Hah! You're so going."

"Fine," Jet finally answered and sighed again. "Better be a damn good dinner, then."

"You bet," Tony replied and quickly leaned into him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

The elevator doors slid open and they walked towards the bullpen where Tony threw his backpack into one corner and immediately went to McGee's desk.

"You owe me fifty bucks, Probie," Tony grinned at him. "When am I going to see your big thing then?"

Before McGee had even had the chance to answer, Ziva had joined them in front of his desk and chimed in.

"Why would you like to see McGee's big thing, Tony?"

Gibbs bit his tongue in order not to laugh out loud as he settled at his own desk, watching Tony blush ever so slightly.

"I was talking about his new flat screen, Ziva," he hurried to explain. "I don't think I'd ever like to see anything else of McGee's things," he added shuddering.

"Oh, are you talking about the movie night you guys mentioned at the club the other night?"

"Yep, Probette," Tony smirked and cast a quick glance at Jet again.

Jet subtly shook his head, holding his gaze for a few moments before he raised an eyebrow. It was Tony's turn to shake his head now and he shrugged uncomfortably, apparently trying to tell him he had no clue that Ziva had overheard that conversation. Gibbs just winked, he hadn't wanted to go to that weird movie night in the first place, so one more person wouldn't matter, would it?

"Thursday night?" McGee finally replied to Tony's earlier question.

Tony shrugged before he looked back at Jet again with Tim mirroring his action.

"Works for me," Gibbs replied shrugging before he opened a case file.

"Good. Ziva, you want to come, too?"

"Sure, why not. But only if Tony is not allowed to pick a movie this time. I do not think I can live through another stupid mindless action movie."

"First of all, _Die Hard_ is no stupid mindless action movie, Ziva, it's an all-time classic. Second of all, don't worry about it because Gibbs here is going to be all 'boss' on us and will decide what to watch."

Ziva turned around to look at him now but Jet refused to meet her eyes and instead focused on the case file, which granted, he was even able to read as he had misplaced his damn glasses again.

"Don't you have any work to do? I can help you with that," he said gruffly and was satisfied that they returned to their work almost immediately.

Only as he looked up a couple of minutes later, did he see Tony smirking at him and just as Jet wanted to demand what was so funny, Tony threw his glasses across the bullpen. He caught them easily, wondering if the guy had intentionally hidden them from him. Had he spent too much time with him already and had that 'B' finally rubbed off on him?

-x-

Tony knew it was coming and yet he wasn't quite prepared for the head slap that he received as soon as he had entered Jet's house later that night. He had made a detour to get pizza and to check his mail, so that they would be able to spend a relaxing evening in front of the television or working on the boat.

"Ouch," he grunted, rubbing the spot where he had just hit him. "What was that for?"

"You know damn well."

Jet glared at him as he sat down on his couch but Tony just smiled back at him, knowing that the glare had nothing in common with the usual confess-or-I'll-kill-you glares but had an underlying amusement in it.

"Oh, I have no idea what you're talking about," Tony replied, sat down next to him and picked up a slice of pizza.

"Let me help you with that," Jet replied gruffly. "Rule-breaking number one: you kissed me at work."

Another slap upside Tony's head.

"Number two," the older man continued. "You don't get to drag me into your private conversations in the middle of the bullpen."

Another head slap, though softer this time and a grin was now plastered on his face, causing Tony to smile back at him, knowing what would come next.

"Number three: Don't ever, ever hide my glasses from me again, you got that?"

Tony internally braced himself for another slap and closed his eyes but was surprised by a soft kiss on his lips.

"Is this what I get for stealing your glasses? If yes I'll do that twenty times per day from now on."

Jet didn't reply anything just continued to stare at him and Tony looked right back at him, wondering if it would be possible to just stay like that forever. After what must have been a really long time, Tony finally cleared his throat and averted his glance.

"No, but seriously, you're not really mad about today, are you?"

"Nah, but we have to be more careful. It's one thing with McGee and Ziva knowing but I don't want this to be all over the office."

"Yeah, I know. I'll pay more attention from now on."

"I will, too."

"But," Tony started over, grabbing Jethro by the collar of his polo shirt. "I can do whatever I want to do with you here, right?"

"Oh and that would be?" he replied, already kissing his way down Tony's jaw.

"I've got a few ideas about that," Tony answered groaning as Jet bit down on his flesh.

Tony lay down on the couch now, pulling Jet down with him, his hands roaming his sides. They continued to kiss hard, sloppy, open-mouthed. Tony made quick work in getting rid of Jet's t-shirt and jeans before he moved his hand down to find his cock. He smiled up at him as he realized that he was already hard and moved his hand up and down, drawing quiet moans from Jethro. The older man suddenly pulled away, sitting up and Tony was just about to protest as he leaned into him again, placing soft kisses down his neck before he quickly got rid of Tony's clothes, too. He grabbed him then, pulling Tony over so that he was straddling him and Tony heard himself gasp as Jet grabbed both of their cocks and pressed them together. Tony leaned down ever so slightly, kissing him again while Jet was moving his hand with precision, causing Tony to let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. Tony felt their cocks pulsing together, pre-cum already dripping. He rocked his hips and they bumped together and this time, apparently taken by surprise, Jet let out a low growl. Tony felt his own muscles tense now and knew that it wasn't long until –

"Jethro," he groaned when he came, spurting out onto the older man's belly as he shuddered uncontrollably.

Jet continued to stroke his own cock for a few more moments and then came with a groan of pleasure, his free hand coming round Tony's waist as he drew him closer to press feeble kisses on his cheek.

They stayed like that for a few minutes just staring at each other, not caring that they were sweaty and slick.

"Oh, I'll definitely have to hide your glasses more often," Tony finally said, effectively breaking their moment and Jet laughed, trying to get up but Tony wouldn't let him.

He had thought about it for a while now but hadn't dared to bring it up until now because, well, this was the first time for both of them and he didn't want to mess up everything by rushing into things…

"Uh, Jet?" he started, feeling his cheeks getting hot. "As much as I love what we've been doing until now… uh, I wanted to ask, uh… you know, you and me…" he trailed off now, looking away from him.

"Are you actually shy right now?" Jet asked, putting a finger under Tony's chin to make him look at him again. "Tony DiNozzo blushing over sex. Nice change."

"Hey," Tony grinned at him, still feeling the blush creeping up his cheeks as he pressed a soft kiss on Jet's temple.

"I mean," Jet replied more serious now. "If you want to try it out, sure, I'm game."

"Yeah?" Tony asked, smiling at him when he realized that Jet meant it. "I mean I get that you won't ever be a bottom being all bossy and stuff. But I really want to try some time."

"You never know," Jet replied, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"Okay," Tony said, clearing his throat, finally getting up and took Jet by the hand, leading him into the bathroom to clean them up.

-x-

Jet was more or less comfortably seated on McGee's couch with Tony sitting on his left hand side and Abby on the other. That double date movie night had eventually turned out to be a team movie night as Ziva, Abby and Palmer had decided to come, too. Tony had brought some of his movies but Abby for some reason had insisted to watch _Alien_. She had talked about some phobia she had since she had first seen it and she wanted to get rid of it today of all days. Jet had noticed Tony's gaze upon him and had just shrugged, causing his partner to whisper into his ear.

"You sure you want to watch it? The thing with Shannon and stuff?"

Jet had just shaken his head and had taken Tony's hand for a short moment, squeezing it softly.

"It's okay," he had replied and Tony seemed to have relaxed a bit but Jet couldn't help but notice that he stole glances at him every other minute or so, clearly not focusing on the movie at all.

But, really, it was okay with him. Granted, he had never quite liked that particular movie and it felt weird at the beginning watching it without Shannon there, mocking the actors and stuff but he wasn't feeling that thing inside of him roaring at him whenever the memory of her came to him unexpectedly. He had settled to watch his team rather than the movie after a few minutes. Palmer and his fiancée were sitting on the floor, Breena between his legs, leaning her back against him. Ziva was sitting to their left cross-legged, seemingly absorbed in the movie. McGee's new girlfriend was sitting on his lap on a recliner. They were talking to each other in hushed voices and Gibbs wasn't able to hear what they were saying but McGee was smiling at her all the time. Jethro couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth twitch as he suddenly realized that this was actually nice, that he could get used to these kinds of gatherings as long as it meant that his team was happy just like now.

He felt Tony's hand on his thigh now as he leaned into him again. "You're supposed to watch the movie not the others."

"Ya think?" he whispered back. "Is there going to be a test at the end?"

"Don't assume there isn't one," Tony grinned. "Rule number 8, remember?"

"My rules, DiNozzo," he gave back. "I remember."

"Just checking."

He reached over and delivered a soft head slap, causing Abby on his other side to chuckle. He let his hand linger on the back of Tony's head before he let it drop down ever so slightly as he pulled it around the younger man's shoulder. He felt him tense up for a moment before he leaned into him, apparently enjoying the public caress. He had let his head drop to his shoulder and Jethro placed his own upon Tony's, finally drawing his attention back to the movie.

It wasn't until he heard a suspicious giggling sound coming from Abby's direction that he turned around again and saw her sitting there, smiling broadly at him, a camera in her hand.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I just had to take a picture. This is sooo cute."

"Abby," Gibbs replied growling but Tony cut him off, leaning over to get a better look at the display of the camera.

"Cool. Can I have that? Meant to take one forever but he refuses to let his guard down long enough for me to actually surprise him by taking one."

Abby laughed again, ignored Jet rolling his eyes and nodded. "Sure thing, T. And Gibbs, don't be so hard on him, he just wants something to drool over when you're not there."

"Abs," Gibbs hissed again but she just laughed.

"Never mind, continuing to watch the movie now."

-x-

After they had finally bid the others good night, Tony and Jethro were on their way home.

"How come you're not drinking lately?" Jet suddenly asked, startling Tony slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Just noticed. You're always drinking soda when you're at home and you weren't drinking last week when you were out with the others or tonight, either."

Tony pulled over into the garage of his apartment building now, furrowing a brow. Jet was right of course, he hadn't been drinking ever since the two of them had gotten back together but it hadn't been a conscious decision, not really.

"I don't know. I mean… I've been drinking far too much back when we were broken up and stuff. You know that I tend to get wasted whenever I'm feeling down and stuff."

"Yeah, I get that," Jet replied suddenly looking at him with serious eyes. "But why give it up completely?"

"I haven't really, I guess. But you know, given my family history and all… I should probably have an eye on that. Don't want to end up like my… parents, I guess."

Jet gave him a smile and Tony felt the uncomfortable feeling, that had made itself perceivable at the thought of his mother and father, disappear again. He stopped the car and got out, taking the older man's hand.

"You're not like him, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. God, I hope I'm not like him. But I know how alcohol can change people and I won't let that happen."

"Smart," Jet replied, gripping his hand a bit tighter. "Don't worry, I'd set you straight if you were like your father for just one second, you got that?"

"But I think, my father would like that," Tony grinned now and Jet furrowed a brow. "Ah, come on, you know… set me straight," he continued as he realized that the older man had missed his joke. "Emphasis on straight. Get it?"

Jet snorted and shook his head before he looked at him again, his blue eyes boring into his own green ones. Tony stopped dead in his tracks to turn to him and pressed his lips against Jet's. The kiss was soft and short and yet Tony hoped that it would convey the message. The message that he appreciated everything that the older man had done for him the last couple of weeks, months, hell, years and that he wasn't planning on giving up on anything in anytime soon. And judging by the smile he got in return when he pulled away, Jethro knew exactly how he felt.

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><p><em>AN: Reviews would be awesomeness! :)_


	38. Perfect Darkness

_A/N: So, yeah... Here it is, the last chapter.  
>First of all, I want to thank all of you who read, alerted, favorited and especially reviewed this story. I don't lie when I'm saying that you guys absolutely made my day. I never thought this story would get over 400 reviews, almost 100 favorites and over 200 alerts. This is just pure awesomeness! :) Thanks a lot!<em>

_Okay, so... I hope, you like that last chapter, too. Have rewritten it a few times until it felt right to me, so I hope you're enjoying it, too._

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirty-Eight: Perfect Darkness<span>**

Tony wiped the sweat from his forehead and grabbed a bottle of water. Summer had finally arrived and Jet and he had been painting the fence around Gibbs' house for the last couple of hours. Not particularly a favorite thing for Anthony DiNozzo to do on a Saturday not being on call. But well, Jet had asked and he had figured why not, at least he would get a tan. So, there he was standing in only his shorts as he had gotten rid of his t-shirt a while ago as the clinging to his skin had gotten pretty uncomfortable. Jet, of course, was still wearing every item of clothing, jeans and polo shirt included, and he hadn't even broken any sweat, hell, he was still drinking hot coffee. Seriously, how did he do that?

"Are you going to just stand there or are you going to make yourself useful any time soon?"

"Aw, come on, Jet! It's freaking hot and just because you have some sort of superhero power and don't feel the heat, I do."

Jethro smirked and approached him, giving him an once-over before he placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"Okay, I'll do the rest and you're going inside, make me some coffee, take a shower or whatever and then you get to decide what we do with the rest of the day. Deal?"

"Dealio," Tony grinned and turned around.

"Oh, and Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you dare to wear more clothes inside, you got that?"

"Absolutely."

-x-

Half an hour later, Tony was sitting on the kitchen counter, sipping from his coke as Jet finally joined him again, pouring himself another cup of coffee. Tony just shook his head. He was still hot, despite the air conditioner and the cold shower.

"Seriously, how do you do that? Not getting hot, I mean."

"Pure willpower," Jet smirked and approached him, so that he came to a halt in between Tony's legs.

He placed his cup on the counter next to him and brought his arms around Tony's waist, looking up at him.

"Willpower, huh?" Tony replied leaning down and kissing him gently. "Is there anything I can do to make you lose that superpower?"

"Oh," Jet laughed, "I don't know. Try me."

"You know I had a few thoughts about that," he said now, cupping Jet's face with his hands, drawing him closer to kiss him properly.

When they broke apart again, Tony was able to see the slightly dilated pupils and the ever so slight blush on Gibbs' cheeks.

"May I suggest taking this to the bedroom?" he asked now, grinning broadly as Jet just nodded, grabbed his hands and all but dragged him upstairs.

"And here I thought I was the one to decide things today," Tony panted as Jet had already half thrown him onto the bed, kissing him fiercely.

"You're saying I should stop?" Jet asked before he ran his fingers up and down his naked chest, pinching his nipples.

"Nope," Tony groaned as Jet's mouth found his left nipple, sucking gently. "But you're definitely not dressed appropriately."

Jet smirked and got up again, stripping down in record time with Tony getting rid of his shorts now, too.

"Better?" Jet asked, already on top of him again, kissing him.

"Uh-huh," Tony just nodded.

"So," Jet continued in between two kisses. "What do you want me to do?"

"The thing we talked about before?" Tony whispered, catching the other man's eye. "I want you inside me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. One hundred percent."

"Okay," Jet gave him a smile. "You tell me to stop, I stop."

Tony just nodded, looking him in the eyes again, knowing that he could trust him without a second thought.

-x-

Jethro watched him lick his lips with his tongue and it went straight to his by now painfully hard cock. He ran his hands over the younger man's body and grinded his hips against Tony's erection, causing him to gasp. He bent down now, placing soft kisses down the other man's jaw line, sucking at his neck before he continued his earlier sucking on the already hard nipple. Tony was squirming under him already, letting out some whimpering noises, causing Jet to look him in the eye again before he reached down and took Tony's already leaking cock into his hand, stroking him slowly. But Tony just shook his head, his eyes closing.

"There's… lube, condoms… in my bag."

Jet nodded again, letting go of him for a moment, reaching for his overnight bag that was lying just beside the bed. He handed the condoms to Tony who took them, tore one open and fumbled a bit with it before he slowly slid it over Jet's hard cock, causing the older man to groan deep in his throat.

"How do you want to?" Jet whispered, capturing his lips again.

"Read that for, you know, the first time, me on hands and knees…" he trailed off, blushing furiously, causing Jet to give him a smile and kiss him softly in a way that was supposed to be reassuring.

Tony was the first to back away and turned around and got into position, ass in the air and Jet felt his cock throb almost painfully. He went to kneel on the bed behind him now, squeezed some lube onto his hand and fingers and then carefully slipped one finger inside him and felt Tony tremble under his touch.

"That okay?"

"Yeah," Tony was panting by now.

Encouraged by another shiver, Jethro added another finger and gently began to push them in and out until Tony relaxed palpable around him. Tony let out a few guttural noises that started to drive him crazier with every second, so he finally removed his fingers, causing Tony to whimper at the sudden loss. Jet placed his hands on the younger man's hips now and slipped his rock hard cock between his ass cheeks. Jet paused for a few moments, making sure that Tony was ready.

"Come on, Jet. Need you," Tony's slightly strangled voice reached his ears and Jethro tightened the grip on his hips and then thrust into him, slowly carefully, smoothly.

He groaned once he was inside of him, this was feeling better than he could have ever imagined, so tight, so warm. Once Tony had adjusted around him, Jet moved his hands up higher on his flanks, holding him tight and then he began to thrust. He started out slowly, trying to be gentle, trying hard not to miss any discomfort on Tony's side. But he seemed to enjoy himself, those noises getting louder with any thrust. He reached down his hand now and took Tony's hard cock in it, stroking it in time with his thrusts. He closed his eyes, savoring in the incredible good feeling. It didn't take long before he was able to hear the younger man's breathing hitch, heard himself gasp in pleasure and he knew that they were both close to edge. A few more thrusts and strokes and they were coming almost at the same time before they collapsed into each other. Tony turned around, gazing at him with heavy-lidded eyes, smiling broadly at him.

"You okay?" Jet asked, already knowing the answer but his brain wasn't up to speed yet to ask something more intelligent.

"Hell yes," Tony just breathed out, drawing him closer, so that Jet's head was resting on his chest now. "Might want to try that, too, sometimes. Was freaking awesome."

Jet let out a laugh and turned his head so that he was able to see the younger man's face. He was smiling at him lazily at the moment before he pushed the hair from his forehead.

"I might," Jet finally replied and Tony's smile grew even wider now. "I love you."

"I know," Tony replied. "I love you, too. And good to see you're no superman after all."

"Huh?" Jet replied, yawning, snuggling into him.

"You _are_ sweating now."

"Yeah, right," Jet replied snorting, poking him softly.

-x-

"Gibbs, are you going to attend Palmer's wedding?" Ziva asked while they packed their stuff to go home for the night a couple of weeks later.

"Yeah. Got invited, didn't I?"

"Okay then, we will see you tomorrow morning."

"Yup."

He looked up now and met Tony's eyes. The guy was looking at him with a rather blank expression, furrowing a brow. McGee and Ziva said their goodbyes and made their way to the elevators but Tony hung back, fidgeting.

"What's wrong?"

"Uhm, nothing, I guess. I just didn't think you'd attend, that's all."

"Why, already asked someone else to be your date?"

"No," Tony grimaced. "I just didn't think, you'd… you know, because of the location."

Jet furrowed a brow, trying to remember where the ceremony was supposed to take place but realized that he had never actually read the invitation. He had known the date for a long time and had figured he wouldn't need any other information as Tony would surely provide it for him. Come to think about it, it was kind of odd that the guy hadn't tormented him about buying a new suit…

"Where is it, then?"

"Uh, the church… it's, well, it's the one next to the graveyard where your girls…"

Jet blinked and nodded, finally understanding Tony's surprise. He really should have read that damn invitation after all. Tony was still staring at him intently and Jet sighed, trying to organize his thoughts. He quickly weighed the pros and cons, realizing that it would be stupid not to attend the wedding because he had already RSVP'd and he knew that, as much as he hated weddings, he owed it the team to go there. He looked at Tony again who was staring intently at him, that weird expression still on his face. He didn't particularly like the idea of going to that church but he had Tony in his corner, how bad could it possibly be?

"I'm going to go."

"Yeah?" Tony asked his hand twitching as if he wanted to take his but realized that they were still at work and couldn't do that. "You sure?"

Jet just shrugged. "No, but I got to go."

"Okay, I'm there."

They made their way to the elevators in silence and only when the doors slid shut, did Tony turn around to him again, grinning at him.

"So, what are you planning to wear?"

Jet just groaned.

-x-

"Ah, there you are, the two most awesome men on earth," Abby greeted them, sizing them both up appreciatively.

"Now that's what I call a hello," Tony grinned at her, giving her a hug.

"Hey, Abs," Gibbs replied, equally being drawn into a hug.

"So, who's your date?" Tony asked as he realized that a rather shy looking man with blond hair was standing next to her, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

"Oh, sorry. This is Owen. Owen this is Gibbs and Tony."

"Hi, nice to meet you."

Tony shook hands with him, trying to convey the message that he would have to face him if he ever hurt his favorite Goth. Owen gulped visibly but gave him a small smile.

"Isn't it a bit rude to call us the most awesome guys on earth when you're here with a date?" Tony joked but Abby looked at him sharply.

"No, it's not. It's the truth. No one could ever compete with the two of you. Gibbs is like my father and you're like a brother to me. Though, given your relationship that's kind of hinky, isn't it?"

"Abby," Jet cut her off, a warning tone in his voice.

"Shutting up, Boss. Got it," she grinned at him. "Come on, let's get inside. Can't wait to see Breena in that dress."

She shuffled them into the church and Tony glanced at Jet but he didn't show any sign of discomfort. They sat down next to McGee and nodded at him before Tony leaned into Jet a bit, whispering into his ear.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah," the older man replied, giving him a half smile. "But if you keep on talking about it, I might actually have to think about them, you know."

Tony nodded, resting a hand on his thigh. "Sorry, changing the topic right now. I'm loving your tie."

Jet chuckled, looking down on himself. "I still can't believe I let you choose it. Baby blue, what was I thinking?"

"Brings out your eyes. Doesn't it look good on him, Becky?" he asked leaning over McGee, smiling at her.

"I'd say so," she nodded, not the least intimidated by Gibbs' glare and Tim's uncomfortable expression.

-x-

Jet followed the ceremony only half-hearted. Despite what he had said to Tony earlier, he wasn't able to concentrate. He wasn't used to go there with all these people, wasn't entirely comfortable that too many people knew what kind of memories the place held for him. He wasn't entirely sure that it had been the right decision to come here. He stole a glance at Tony, who was engrossed in the ceremony and felt himself calm down the tiniest of fractions. Maybe the smile that the younger man had given him when he had come out from the bathroom, wearing the suit, was worth all of that. Tony had kissed him fiercely afterwards, mumbling something about that he should get suited up more often and that some guy named, what was it, Barney, and Jet was almost sure that it was a movie reference, would be so proud of him. He hadn't asked, knowing that he wouldn't get it anyway and had just returned the kiss.

He forced his thoughts away from Tony and his girls, trying to concentrate on the ceremony in front of him only to realize that it was to no avail. He stared down at his shoes instead, hoping that his agents wouldn't notice his uneasiness. He was just about to take a deep breath, trying to repress the thoughts of his and Shannon's wedding, trying to repress the thought of their funeral as he felt Tony softly nudge him. He looked up again, only to be faced with the younger man's worried face. He didn't say anything, just stared intently at him, his green eyes wary and a brighter than usual. He tilted his head ever so slightly as if it would give him a better look at him before he took his hand, squeezing it softly.

"Still here," he then whispered and Jethro felt himself losing a bit of the tension.

Tony didn't let go of his hand all through the ceremony, didn't let go when it ended and they slowly made their way out of the church, didn't let go when they crossed path with Vance who raised an eyebrow at them but didn't say anything just nodded at them. And he still hadn't let go of him when they were standing in line to congratulate the newlyweds. Only when they were about to shake hands with Jimmy and hug Breena, they parted for a few moments, leaving Jethro strangely empty inside.

-x-

They were standing a bit away from the others a while afterwards, waiting for the crowd to move on to the wedding reception. Tony was feeling slightly edgy by now, being unable to talk to Jet without drawing too much attention to the fact that the older man was clearly uncomfortable.

"Thanks," he suddenly whispered into his ear and Tony turned to look at him, giving him a small smile.

"Told you, I'm here. Not going anywhere."

He stared at him for a moment, realizing that it was true. He wouldn't walk away from him, not if he could help it at least. This was all he had ever hoped to get out of a relationship. He knew that they both were as dysfunctional as a person could ever get but somehow they had made it work those last couple of months. And even though, Tony would still wake up from a nightmare screaming, the dreams had become better and less frequent and Jet had always been there, calming him down. In addition to that, he would never forget the smile on the other man's face when he had given him two framed photographs a few days ago. The first one was the one that Abby had taken on that movie night at McGee's and the other one was one of Jethro, Kelly and Shannon which he had found in the back of a drawer of Jet's nightstand. He had been nervous that Jet might be angry with him for framing it, might be angry with him for snooping around but he had just given him a smile and had kissed him with so much passion that it had actually left him breathless. The photos were now sitting on the mantelpiece in Gibbs' house for the world to see and Tony couldn't help but feel tingly inside anytime Jet would pass by those pictures with a smile on his lips.

-x-

"Come here," Jet said only above a whisper, drawing the man next to him nearer to kiss him for a moment.

"So, off to the reception, then?" Tony asked slightly distracted as if Jet had just interrupted his inner musings.

"In a moment," Jet replied, suddenly feeling a lot better. "I wanted to visit Kelly and Shannon for a minute."

"Oh, okay," Tony replied hesitantly. "I'll just wait here, then."

"No, come on. Come with me."

"You serious?" Tony asked, his eyes boring into his, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Jet just nodded and took his hand again before they entered the graveyard. He usually wasn't up for any company when he came here and Tony seemed to have understood that because he had never asked to come along before. He had been there on his own, though, judging by the white roses that were lying on the graves every time Jet came here to visit. Consequently, he wasn't surprised when they reached their destination, seeing the flowers already placed upon the graves.

"When have you been here?"

"Yesterday morning before I picked up breakfast."

They stood there for a few moments in total silence after that before Jethro knelt down, softly brushing his hand over their names.

"Hey," he whispered. "You should have been there today, was a beautiful wedding. You would have loved the bride's dress and those flowers." He paused for a moment and sighed before he continued. "Days like these make me miss you even more than I already do but there's no way to change that, huh? But I hope you're happy and doing fine because I think I finally am again. I love you."

He stood up now and came to face with Tony who was staring at him, his eyes glistening. They remained standing there for a long time just looking at each other, clasping their hands tightly, unaware of their surroundings. Finally, Tony moved again, leaning into him, whispering 'I love you' into his ear before he cupped his hands behind Jet's head and pulled him closer, his lips meeting with Jet's. The kiss was tender and soft, sweet and somehow still deep and it reached something in Jet's heart that hadn't been touched for a very long time, mending it. It felt like warm blood rushing back into there and it hurt but at the same time healed him somehow.

When they finally broke apart, never losing eye contact, Tony subtly shook his head and with one last look at Kelly and Shannon's graves grabbed his hand tighter and lead him back to where the others were standing.

"Come on, let's get you drunk."

"Oh, I don't get drunk, Tony."

"Sure, you don't," Tony laughed light-heartedly, causing Jet to feel all fuzzy inside again at the pure joy the younger man seemed to radiate all of a sudden. "Then let's get you tipsy so that I can a) get you to dance with me later and b) drag you back to your place and do whatever I want to do with you."

"Sounds like a plan," Jet just replied, knowing that whatever Tony had in mind, he could trust him, could trust him to make it all okay.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks for reading and please, let me know what you think. Reviews would be awesome! :) _


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